August 2009


 

“Happiness is only achievable when it is a by-product of something else….” – Dennis Prager

Judging by reader responses to the first part of this blog published last week, the topic of happiness is, indeed, of great importance to us.  Isn’t that what we are all after in life? It’s the fundamental goal behind our intentions to create more prosperity, better personal relationships, a more fulfilling career, a fancier car, a bigger house, etc.  The point of having those things is to help us feel happy

However, as philosopher, author, and radio commentator Dennis Prager points out in his wonderful little book Happiness is a Serious Problem: A Human Nature Repair Manual, when we pursue happiness as an end goal, we can never really achieve it. He asserts that we can only achieve happiness by adhering to six values, which …are more important than happiness – and that therefore bring people much of it.” 

In last week’s blog, we covered the first two values, “passionate and meaningful pursuits” and “depth.”  Here are the remaining four, excerpted directly from his book: 

Happiness is a Serious Problem Chapter 21 – Happiness is a By-product

By Dennis Prager

 Wisdom 

A third goal whose pursuit brings happiness as a by-product is wisdom.  Wisdom may be defined as understanding, as opposed to merely knowing. Knowledge is wonderful, but it is not the same as, not as valuable as, and does not bring the happiness or peace of mind that wisdom brings.  Computers have a great deal of knowledge, but they have no wisdom.  Indeed, this is true of many humans.  If accumulating knowledge inevitably brought one wisdom, given the number of well-educated people today, we would be living in the wisest age in humanity’s history; and given how few people in the past received much education, few of our ancestors could have been wise.  Yet probably all of us have known someone of limited education who possessed great wisdom, and all of us know some highly-educated people who are quite foolish. 

I offer no sure path to wisdom; there probably is none.  Some people seem to be born with wisdom, and some attain it through great intellectual and emotional struggle.  What is clear is that a lifelong pursuit of wisdom yields a happier life.* 

[*Author’s footnote: For the interested reader, I offer two theories to explain, in large part, the decline in wisdom in our time.  One is specialization in education: a broad-based education has been abandoned in favor of accumulating an immense body of knowledge in increasingly narrow areas of specialization.  The other is the assertion in Proverbs that “Wisdom begins with awe of God.”  Secularization has led to a number of blessings, most notably the blessing of tolerance, thanks to secular government.  But it rarely leads to wisdom.  How could it?  The denial of any transcendent meaning to human life leads ultimately to the belief that all is random and rather pointless.  And there is little wisdom to be culled from randomness and meaninglessness.  We correctly associate most religious government with a lack of tolerance.  We should just as correctly associate most secular thought with a lack of wisdom.] 

Clarity – Understanding Yourself and Life

A fourth goal higher than happiness that produces happiness as a by-product is clarity.  We might be tempted to think that we can be happy without working to understand ourselves and life – believing in a form of “ignorance is bliss” – but this is not so.  From traditional Eastern thought to modern Western psychological thought, there is widespread acknowledgment that clarity, even when painful, is a blessing, not a curse.  Great numbers of people walk through life with little understanding of why life behaves the way it does or why they themselves behave the way they do.  Yet to understand why your life unfolds in the way it does is one of the greatest sources of happiness. 

One reason is that we are far more capable of handling life’s tragedies when we have some explanation for them.  For example, when an airplane accident is explained, the friends and relatives of the passengers who died are in a better emotional position than the friends and relatives of the victims of a crash that has no explanation.  If clarity and understanding were not immensely important to our happiness, explaining such accidents would not matter.  Yet having explanations (i.e., having clarity) matters a great deal.  A lack of clarity suggests that our life is chaos; chaos suggests meaninglessness, and meaninglessness guarantees unhappiness. 

As with all growth and depth, the more you understand, the more you want to understand.  You will want to know why you lost your temper, why you yelled at a loved one, why you keep falling in love with the wrong type of person.  Clarity cannot change everything that will happen in our life, and it will certainly not change anything that has happened, but it transforms us from passive bystanders to actors. 

Goodness

A fifth example is elevating doing good over being happy.  I write elsewhere of the connection between goodness and happiness – for example, good people bring other good people into their lives, and spending our lives with such people increases our happiness.  People who make doing good and attaining good character more important goals than achieving happiness achieve happiness as a by-product of that goal.  The peace of mind and sense of self-worth that derive from the pursuit of goodness are unattainable elsewhere. 

Pursuit of the Transcendent

The final example is perhaps the most ubiquitous – pursuit of the transcendent.  Throughout history, most people have been acutely aware of the ephemeral nature of human life.  We arrive against our will, stay a short while, and leave against our will.  Today we also know that we are infinitesimally small specks in the vast universe.  Consequently, more than ever we need meaning that can come only from the belief that something permanent transcends us. 

Many will argue that there is no transcendence and that religion is largely nonsense, even dangerous nonsense.  But few can argue against the proposition that religion is capable of bringing more inner peace than anything else.  There is something in the human being that yearns for the meaning, order, community and answers that religion uniquely provides. 

Well, there you have it!  Six values that, according to Dennis Prager, can provide us with the happiness and fulfillment that we all are seeking in our lives – far beyond what most transitory material goals ever can.  

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If you have missed any of this year’s series of F.R.E.E. monthly Create Prosperity Now Tele-classes, all the audios are still available for download to listen to at your convenience. These 60-minute live classes, which teach you exactly how to put the Law of Attraction into ACTION in your life, are held the last Wednesday of each month at 6pm Pacific. The next call will be on September 30. Please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com to receive future call invitations and replay links. 

Your questions and comments are most welcome!  To find out how Practical Prosperity Coaching © can help you create the life of YOUR dreams in 30 days or less, contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com to request a complimentary, no-obligation phone consultation.

Happiness is only achievable when it is a by-product of something else….” – Dennis Prager

 In my continuing effort to fully enjoy every last drop of my summer, I have occasionally featured some “guest writers” for this column over the past two months — both to give myself a break and, more importantly, to let you hear other voices with important things to teach us about how to live a fulfilling, prosperous life. 

In my role as The Practical Prosperity Coach ©, I have helped more than 150 clients thus far manifest a specific something that they ardently desire to have, usually in 30 days or less.  These Intentions run the gamut of almost anything you could imagine – a new kitchen, a large amount of cash, a matching set of dishware, a specific number of clients, a new romantic partner, a specific number of signed contracts, a new house, a new car, a new career, etc. etc. etc. 

The only thing that all these heart-felt dreams have in common is that the people pursuing them apparently feel that having these things will make them happier.  And isn’t being HAPPY the number one goal of human beings?  But how do you know when you have achieved happiness anyway?  How do you gain happiness and, more importantly, how do you keep it in the face of the major curve balls that Life will inevitably throw at you from time to time? 

The respected author and host of The Dennis Prager Show on L.A.’s KABC radio is a philosopher who has done a lot of deep thinking about these questions and has become something of a self-made expert on the subject of happiness.  Because it is such an important – and largely unexamined — topic in our society today, I am devoting this blog and the next to providing you with just one chapter from Prager’s great paperback called Happiness is a Serious Problem: A Human Nature Repair Manual. 

I chose this particular chapter because it provides a good reminder that although external things — and even people — can make our lives richer and much more pleasurable, they are not the source of our happiness.  And in fact, if we truly want to experience happiness, we cannot make it our actual goal at all. 

I hope you enjoy this excerpt and that it inspires you to go out and get this very helpful and entertaining little book for yourself…. Or just wait to cross paths with my husband, who is one of the happiest people I know. Whenever Rick runs across someone who seems to be unhappy, he has been known to give a copy away to a stranger.

Happiness is a Serious Problem: Chapter 21 – Happiness Is a By-product

By Dennis Prager 

As important as happiness is, if you make it your most important value, you cannot attain it.  Happiness is only achievable when it is a by-product of something else, and you must hold that something to be more important than happiness.* Moreover, it is impossible to fool yourself.  You cannot, for example, say, “In order to be happy I will value x more than happiness,” while in your heart continuing to value happiness more. 

[*Author’s footnote: Ask parents today what they most want for their children, and the vast majority of them will tell you that they want their children to be happy.  As well-intentioned as this is, by making happiness the greatest value in their children’s lives, these parents are, unfortunately, making it harder for their children to be happy adults.  Parents who want their children to be happy but who raise them to believe that some values are even higher than happiness are more likely to raise happy children.] 

I offer six values that are widely held to be more important than happiness – and that therefore bring people much of it.

Passionate and Meaningful Pursuits 

The first and perhaps the most obvious sources of happiness are those pursuits for which people feel a great passion and that give people’s lives meaning.  The number of such pursuits is almost infinite – from studying insects to a career in baseball to comforting the dying. 

Because of the power of passionate and meaningful pursuits to bring us happiness, it is essential to help children develop as many passions as possible.  The more passions we have – whether for people, things, work, hobbies or something else – the greater happiness we are likely to experience.  But again, we cannot fool ourselves.  Having a passion for something is not enough.  It must have intrinsic value and meaning.  Thus a person may have a passion for watching television, but watching television in great amounts is neither intrinsically valuable nor meaningful, and it is therefore not conducive to happiness.

I rarely cite studies, believing that they usually either find what common sense and human experience already know or whatever the study-maker wanted to find, but regarding the relationship between happiness and television watching, I have seen studies that have opened my eyes.  These studies found that after a certain amount of television watching on any given day, people actually became less happy.  Now one might counter that after a certain amount of time doing any one thing, one will become less happy.  But this is not true.  Take, for example, something as esoteric and uninteresting to most of us as studying insects.  Because such study, unlike television watching, can be both intrinsically valuable and meaningful, a person who loves studying insect life will not become more unhappy after a certain amount of time studying insects.  Six hours a day (the average amount of time spent watching television in an American home) devoted to studying insects can actually increase the happiness of a person – because it leads to growth and knowledge. 

To cite another example, although a career in sports can bring a person happiness – thanks to the person’s love of the sport, deep interaction with others in the game, and the mental, physical, and emotional challenges of the sport – merely being a sports fan (i.e., watching sports) after a certain amount of hours does not bring a person happiness.  Watching sports is a source of fun but rarely a source of meaning to fans.  One proof is the vast amount of gambling on sports among fans.  Gambling gives watching sports a meaning that it otherwise lacks.  On the other hand, watching sports can be meaningful to those involved in management, player development, and sports writing. 

Depth 

A second example of a goal that yields happiness as a by-product is depth.  At the present time, depth (along with maturity) is almost never cited or even considered when people – especially young people – think about what they wish to achieve.  Ask most people, “How important is being deep to you?” and you are likely to receive a puzzled response, “What do you mean?” 

The subject of becoming a deeper person deserves its own book, so I will offer only a brief definition and a few examples.  Perhaps the best way to understand depth is to think of growth: we become deeper when we struggle to grow – emotionally, morally, psychologically, intellectually, and in wisdom.  Note, please, that struggle is part of depth.  Very little that is acquired easily is deep. 

However, human nature once again works against us.  Human nature motivates us to seek immediate pleasure, not depth.  Yet those who transcend their nature and seek depth will derive great happiness from that struggle. 

Who is likely to be intellectually deeper (and happier) – the person who devotes most evenings to reading good books, taking courses, and studying a foreign language or a musical instrument or the one who devotes most evenings to watching television?

Who is likely to be emotionally deeper – the person who commits to a relationship, marries, and raises children or the single person who goes from relationship to relationship? 

Who is likely to be psychologically deeper – the person who devotes time and effort to learning about herself/himself or the one who rarely looks within? 

Examples apply to every area of life.  Even fun can be deepened.  You can relax with hours of card playing or by involving yourself with interests that make demands on you, such as taking an adult education course.  You can enjoy “easy listening” music, or you can make the effort to enjoy deeper music such as classical music.  You can watch movies that just entertain or watch movies that provoke thought as well as entertain.  You can read pop novels that just entertain or read novels that make intellectual and emotional demands as well as entertain. 

When you have experienced deeper fun, it is difficult to go back to the more superficial variety because the rewards of depth are great.  Ask anyone who has truly enjoyed both popular and classical music which one ultimately brings greater rewards (and I say this with a deep appreciation for the joys of popular music.) 

Pursuing depth is one of the distinguishing characteristics of the human being; it is one of the noblest goals in a human life; and it brings ongoing happiness.  Indeed, the journey to depth brings as much happiness as its attainment, and since depth has no limits, the journey to it never ends. 

To be continued next week: Join me to learn the remaining four values that Dennis Prager claims “…are more important than happiness and that therefore bring people much of it!”

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 MONTHLY REMINDER

The next F.R.E.E. Create Prosperity Now 60-minute tele-class will be held this Wednesday, August 26 at 6:00pm PACIFIC.  This month’s topic is “Integrity Fuels Intention.”  Join us to learn about this essential prosperity tool for attracting positive people, things and resources into your life! If you can’t be there, the call REPLAY will be sent to you, but ONLY if you have pre-registered. So send your full name and email to: caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com. The call number and password will be emailed to you the day before the call.  Please let me know if you plan to be there live or via replay, so we’ll be sure to have plenty of lines available.  And don’t forget to invite a FRIEND – they’ll thank you for it!  

Your questions and comments are most welcome!  To request a complimentary phone consultation, contact caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

 

“Reach up as far as you can and God will help you reach the rest of the way.” – Greg Hickman

 In last week’s blog, I shared my “Ah-ha” moment of seeing that the REAL reason I was working far too many hours last summer was because I was CHOOSING to play the “martyr,” trying to feel indispensable and righteous about being chained to my desk while the rest of the world was out enjoying themselves. 

This summer, I vowed, would be different.  Once I set the firm INTENTION to have more free time (especially more time for fun with my wonderful husband) this summer, the Universe seemed to effortlessly align every facet of my work to make that a reality.  Most of my clients took a hiatus from coaching, as they typically do in July and August.  And colleagues in our joint ventures decided to postpone those projects until after Labor Day.  So here I sit, writing my blog on a Wednesday afternoon, instead of my customary Saturday or Sunday – and not feeling the least bit like a martyr. 

However, there is one big drawback to having all this free time to relax, rejuvenate, and play: less work usually means less money.  My bills haven’t stopped coming in the mail just because my coaching clients have temporarily stopped paying.  So I took my desire for adequate income during the summer to the Universe, too.  

As you know, the first step in the three-step process of creating anything you want using the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) is to ASK for what you want, clearly and specifically.  So what I asked the Universe for was this: “As long as I do MY part in giving my very best to all the people who come to me for help, You will do YOUR part by showing me how to pay ALL of my bills on time, in full this month.”   

I’ve actually been using that Intention daily for over a year, and it has never failed me yet.  Whenever my checking account balance has appeared to be less than what is needed to meet my obligations, some unforeseen opportunity invariably appears – a new client referral, an unexpected residual check or refund, a large lump sum when a client unexpectedly decides to pay for six months of coaching up front.  As this process has repeated itself each month, I eventually learned to simply BELIEVE it would happen, without worrying about the “How,” (which is, by the way, the second step of the manifestation process.) Then all I have to do to complete the manifestation process is to be WILLING to RECEIVE the Universe’s answer when it arrives – even if it sometimes comes wrapped in a much different “package” than I would have thought up myself. 

Over the past four years, I have taught over 150 coaching clients this simple three-step manifestation process with my Practical Prosperity Coaching © system. In that time, my own belief has grown tremendously from witnessing the many, many incidents where a client asked for something to be delivered by a specific deadline and it arrived right on time in some totally unforeseen way. While my past blogs are filled with these amazing stories about their results, I want to share with you a personal story of a miraculous manifestation that happened to me just last week. 

Last summer, as soon as I received an invitation to my niece’s June wedding, I set an Intention to be able to give her a $500 as my gift to help with the many expenses I knew she and her fiance would face. It was important to me to include in my Intention that it would NOT come out of our household budget, but instead would appear easily from some other source.  Then I released the “How” to the Universe to take care of for me, and went about my daily business.  Obviously, there was a deadline on this, but I didn’t let that worry me.  I simply reminded myself that my job was just to ASK, BELIEVE and RECEIVE it with gratitude when it arrived; it was up to the Universe to come up with the “How.” 

About two weeks before the wedding, I went out to the mailbox one day to find an unexpected card from a client.  He was thanking me for introducing him to Edwene Gaines, a Master Manifester and my main mentor in learning how to create unlimited prosperity.  Edwene teaches that in order to establish a continuous flow of prosperity into your life, you must tithe a 10% share of all the money that comes to you to the person, place or institution where you have most recently received your spiritual “food” (inspiration).  Enclosed with his note of thanks, my client had sent me his tithe on a recent tax refund – a check for $498!  I immediately thanked him, mailed $500 to my niece for her wedding and, of course, gave my $49.80 tithe to the place where I got my “spiritual food” that week! 

Amazing, huh? But that’s not the BEST part of the story!  One year later, my nephew sent me an invitation to his wedding, which takes place later this month.  Naturally, I wanted to gift the same amount to him and his fiancée that I had given to his sister.  But with my monthly bills as high as ever, and my “freedom summer” income quite a bit lower, that was looking pretty unlikely – that is, until I recalled how the Universe had manifested exactly what I asked for last time. I figured, if the Law of Attraction is really a universal LAW – like gravity– then it must work every time. The money might well come to me in a completely different way than it did last time, but it will come if I simply ASK, BELIEVE and RECEIVE.  So I set my Intention right away to be able to give my nephew $500 effortlessly, without tapping the household budget, and once again turned it over to the Universe to come up with the HOW. 

Being human, doubts crept in from time to time, of course.  One day, I awoke early and lay there thinking, “This month’s finances are looking particularly tight.  I am not even sure how I am going to pay my bills, so HOW am I going to be able to give my nephew $500?”  Thankfully, I caught myself and began focusing my thoughts on vividly remembering the positive feelings I had when I opened that card from my client last summer and found that my Intention had been answered effortlessly.  

Then the light bulb went off: I got that a year ago it HAD been effortless because I had been completely unattached to the outcome.  I didn’t know for sure that I would be able to create $500 for my niece’s wedding. Yet, I was willing to simply BELIEVE that it would come, and then completely release control of the HOW to the Universe to handle for me. And since I hadn’t told another soul about my Intention, I figured that if it didn’t show up, I’d just write a smaller check and nobody would be disappointed — including me.  A year ago, I had put no pressure on myself, so I was completely open and receptive to whatever would happen (or not happen).  I guess I thought of my original Intention as just a fun experiment — as in, “Let’s see how the Universe pulls this off!” 

But this time, I had clearly become attached to the outcome. With some bravado borne of my prior success, I excitedly told my husband that I was going to manifest $500 for my nephew’s wedding, just like I had for my niece’s.  I had blogged about last year’s “miracle” manifestation and, to be honest, I wanted my new Intention to be fulfilled (at least in part) to “prove” the Law of Attraction once again — as if it needed my proof!  

Being ATTACHED is very different than being COMMITTED.  Being committed means you believe 100% in your desired goal and you are willing to take whatever action is necessary to reach it — but you are not attached to HOW you reach that goal.  You do not feel the need to push, force, plot, manipulate or make sure YOU get the credit for making it happen your way.  You know that you are truly committed to your goal when can stand peacefully in your own BELIEF that it will happen, turn over control of how it will happen to the Universe, and prepare to gratefully RECEIVE it in whatever form it comes. 

Thank goodness, I realized in time that my authentic commitment was exactly the same as last year’s – helping a loved one have a wonderful wedding by gratefully receiving a gift from the Universe by whatever means it chose to deliver it.  And, of course, I was also committed to tithing 10% to a source of spiritual inspiration, thus planting the “seed” for my next abundant harvest of prosperity.  At that moment, I re-committed to these goals and stopped worrying about the “How.” 

On a coaching call later that morning, a client told me something truly amazing.  She said that she had received a clear “message” from the Universe several times over the past few weeks, and that it was coming to her strongly again as we talked.  The message was that she was supposed to send me a certain amount of money as a gift.  It was a substantial amount of money – in the four-figures!  She said that she wasn’t clear why it was to be that amount or why it was to go to me, but she thought it was meant to help her learn to simply TRUST. By just trusting and acting upon her intuition, she believed that she would ultimately benefit, too.  While I was caught completely off-guard by her jaw-dropping announcement, I also recognized that this was the HOW the Universe had chosen for me, so I willingly accepted her generous gift with joy and gratitude. 

A few days after it arrived, I had the great pleasure of sharing with my client exactly how her amazing gift had been used to benefit me and others – probably in ways far beyond what either of us will ever know.  First, my “starving law student” nephew and his fiancée were delighted to receive the financial help with their wedding.  All of my own bills were paid in full and on time this month.  I was able to contribute to several worthy charities that help disadvantaged people and abused animals in greater amounts than I could have afforded on my own.  My church will be able to help many other deserving individuals through my tithe on her gift.  And I was able to set aside a nice “nest egg” toward a long-postponed driving vacation with my husband to visit friends in New Mexico who invited us to the magical Albuquerque Hot Air Balloon Festival in October. 

Of the many blessings I have received from this experience, I believe the greatest was the timely reminder that commitment to our heartfelt dreams (no matter how improbable they may seem to others) hastens their fulfillment, while attachment to exactly when and how they must manifest only delays the bountiful harvest!

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MONTHLY REMINDER

The next F.R.E.E. Create Prosperity Now 60-minute tele-class will be held on Wednesday, August 26 at 6:00pm PACIFIC.  This month’s topic is “Integrity Fuels Intention.”  Join us to learn about this essential prosperity tool for attracting positive people, things and resources into your life! If you can’t be there, the call REPLAY will be sent to you, but ONLY if you have pre-registered. So send your full name and email to: caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com. The call number and password will be emailed to you the day before the call.  Please let me know if you plan to be there live or via replay, so we’ll be sure to have plenty of lines available.  And don’t forget to invite a FRIEND – they’ll thank you for it! 

 

Your questions and comments are most welcome!  To request a complimentary phone consultation, contact caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

 

 “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” – Tuli Kupferberg 

Sorry to have missed sending you a blog last week, but I was busy happily fulfilling my #1 Intention of having more fun this summer.  My three best friends from elementary school and high school came together for a weekend of fun in the sun here in beautiful Orange County, California, so I took four days off and went to the County Fair, saw a Huey Lewis and the News concert (yes, I am that old), went to the beach and wiggled my toes in the cooling waves, enjoyed a gourmet backyard barbecue (including barbecued duck legs, no less) and a gourmet poolside brunch.  It felt like heaven after six months of non-stop coaching, writing, and creating and leading seminars. 

Last summer went by in a blur, as I spent most weekends chained to my desk, doing  endless paperwork, writing the blog and working on projects that I didn’t have time for while coaching all week. But as soon as I set my specific Intention to create the time and space to thoroughly enjoy this summer, the Law of Attraction began to effortlessly present me with opportunities for sleeping in, reading, watching good movies, entertaining friends, taking long morning walks and spending fun times at Disneyland and other venues with my realtor husband who is just as busy as I am, yet always seems to make time to enjoy life.  

Because of this experience, my eyes have been opened to the fact that virtually everything that happens in our daily lives is the direct result of the choices that we make, whether consciously or unconsciously.  If someone had asked me last summer why I was spending my favorite time of year chained to my desk, my answer would undoubtedly have been, “Because I HAVE to!  There’s nobody else to do all this work and it HAS to get done.”  

Looking back now, I can’t even remember the specific projects I was working so hard to accomplish.  I now realize that nobody forced me to work 6 ½ days a week — I CHOSE to do exactly what I did.  I could have just told whomever was waiting for the output, “Oh, I’m sorry, but it is my policy not to work on the weekends. That is my family time.”  And I’m sure they would have replied, “Oh, OK… I’ll get it from you Tuesday, then.” 

Perhaps like me, you sometimes catch yourself bolstering your ego by trying to appear indispensable.  I must even admit (much to my chagrin) that I have caught myself feeling hurt and offended when someone else was picked to do a task I didn’t really want to do in the first place. (At least they could have told me how VALUABLE and IMPORTANT I am to them, before I turned them down!) 

And perhaps like me, you often avoid asking others for help, even though ASKING for what you want is the first of the three steps for manifesting ANYTHING you want for yourself and your life quickly and easily, via the Law of AttractionFreedom and Ease could be just one simple request away.  Yet, how often do we actually ASK for help from our loved ones or business associates — even though we know that they would be happy to assist us and bask in the glow of OUR gratitude?  How selfish is it to deny others the uniquely satisfying pleasure that we feel whenever we step forward to be someone’s “Hero”?  Is it because we are afraid to appear needy? Is it because, in order to feel valuable, or worthy, we must always play “the Go-To Gal” or “Mr. Indispensable”?  

Each of us undoubtedly has our own personal “good” reasons for doing more work than we know is good for our mental or physical well being or spending less time with those who matter most to us just so we can serve on volunteer committees with people we barely know or care for. But I do believe this has become a widespread phenomenon today. It is a rare coaching client or friend who tells me that they delegate routine tasks whenever possible, take regular “me” time to rest and recharge, or willingly share responsibilities with family or co-workers.  

In fact, many will not even ask for help when they are sick or in the throes of complete overwhelm.  “If it’s going to be done right, I have to do it myself,” or “It takes longer to explain it to someone else than it would be to just do it myself” or “My husband will pout and/or screw it up if I ask him to help with the housework,” are the phrases I commonly hear from the most harried.  One woman I know runs two companies, performs onstage regularly, takes her kids to most of their activities, and yet allows her family to “expect” her to come home and fix dinner most nights AND to do much of the housework on the weekends. Her husband, who is also self-employed but has much more free time, regularly complains that he and the kids don’t get enough of her time!  When I suggested she spend $80 a week on a housekeeper so she could have an extra four or five hours of family and personal time, she said, “My husband will never let me spend the money.” Yet, SHE is the main breadwinner!   But I must ask myself who is ultimately making the choice to do all this and not ask for – no, demand – more help?  Right.  She is.  

So how do you go about exchanging your life of drudgery for a life of joy, freedom and ease?  First, you must take 100% responsibility for EVERYTHING that is showing up in your life right now. One way or another, you must own that YOU have consciously caused it or unthinkingly allowed it or unconsciously attracted it through the power of your own limiting beliefs about what you deserve or what is possible. Yes, it is all YOUR doing! 

That’s the bad news, but it’s also the good news. Because if you created a life that isn’t entirely to your liking, it means that you have the power to create a new life — the Life of Your Dreams.  You can choose to stop slogging through quicksand, and instead choose to live your life on YOUR terms.  

But exactly how do you get there?  You start by ASKING for what you want – clearly and specifically.  Then you must work on BELIEVING that it is possible.  That requires a willingness to consciously create a New Empowering Belief to replace your Old Limiting Belief that “This is just how it is” or “I have to” or “Nobody else can do it.”  You must be willing to throw off your cloak of martyrdom and to exchange “Woe is me” for “Whooo-eeeee!!!”   

The final step to living a freer, easier kind of life is to be WILLING to RECEIVE the “How” when the Universe presents it in response to your request. Sometimes it comes in unexpected packages, so you must be aware, vigilant, and willing to think outside the box of your own limited thought patterns.  

Once I firmly decided to say “No” to projects I didn’t want to do or that weren’t purposeful for me, the “How” appeared effortlessly.  Clients and business associates magically went on vacation or postponed projects, and suddenly large blocks of time began to appear in the middle of my sunny summer days.  Instead of being chained to my desk, I often enjoy lunching with my husband, working in the garden or reading a good book by the pool.  Last week, I even took four consecutive days off to play with my girlfriends.  

Yes, I still coach and do the paperwork that truly MUST, but now I complete most of it during the workweek, leaving the weekends for play and fun.  (I’m writing this blog on Thursday afternoon instead of Saturday or Sunday!)  And yes, it also means that I am not making as much money as I might be if I were doing more coaching or marketing my prosperity tele-seminars or creating new coaching products for sale.  But as I do my part to change my limiting beliefs and embrace the Universe’s “How,” I am also being provided for in amazing ways that I never could have predicted.  I’ll tell you more about those next time! 

For now, I invite you to honestly examine what’s on YOUR “To-Do” list and to just say “No” to all unnecessary or delegate-able tasks.  Then you will have the space to say “Yes!” to doing something fun or fulfilling for YOU.  Remember it’s your choice, so why not give effortless a try?  

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MONTHLY REMINDER

The next F.R.E.E. Create Prosperity Now 60-minute tele-class will be held on Wednesday, August 26 at 6:00pm PACIFIC.  This month’s topic is “Integrity Fuels Intention.”  Join us to learn about this essential prosperity tool for attracting positive people, things and resources into your life! If you can’t be there, the call REPLAY will be sent to you, but ONLY if you have pre-registered. So send your full name and email to: caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com. The call number and password will be emailed to you the day before the call.  Please let me know if you plan to be there live or via replay, so we’ll be sure to have plenty of lines available.  And don’t forget to invite a FRIEND – they’ll thank you for it!  

Your questions and comments are most welcome!  To request a complimentary phone consultation, contact caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.