November 2013

It’s not easy being grateful all of the time.  But it’s when you feel least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you. – Oprah Winfrey

Happy Thanksgiving to my friends in the USA!  I hope you are looking forward to a long holiday weekend filled with delicious food, fun times and great memories.

And, of course, I hope you will join me in using our national holiday as an opportunity to deepen your personal appreciation for the incredible life you get to live, all the wonderful people in it, and especially for whatever you believe is the Source of all that good stuff blessing you with abundant grace.

Still, even with all we have to thankful for, we must admit that life can sometimes disappoint us big-time.  No matter how sincerely we strive to follow The Four Agreements, live with integrity, focus only on what we want, contribute to others and strengthen our belief, there are times we just don’t understand why things are not working out the way we’d hoped.

I must admit I’ve asked myself “Why not?” frequently during the past few months, as two of Rick’s real estate deals in a row, which both seemed like “sure things,” fell apart at the last minute.  We were already excitedly making plans for how to spend the money and anticipating a joyously abundant Holiday Season. Rick served his buyers (and the other side) in these transactions with complete professional integrity, yet the rug got pulled out from under him through no fault of his own. In both cases, his clients backed out of purchasing their “dream homes” because something was revealed at the 11th hour that had been hidden at first.

We talked it over, looking to see if there was anything that Rick had done or not done or if either of us was holding an unconscious Limiting Belief that could have created this undesired outcome…and we came up empty.  Then, in an Ah-Ha moment, I suddenly recognized that it truly was for the best that these deals didn’t go through.

In the first case, a $400/month additional local water tax had been hidden in the listing, but came to light from a careful reading of the mandatory disclosures that a seller must give the buyer before final loan documents are signed.  Rick and his clients agreed that it was clearly NOT in their best interests to go through with the deal, since that extra cost would have stretched their family budget too much.

The second deal imploded when Rick’s buyer discovered right before closing that her beautiful dream home with the perfect location on a lake was also riddled with termites, had significant water damage, asbestos in the attic and a host of other problems — ALL of which were known to the investors. They had bought the foreclosed house and fixed it up cosmetically, hoping to hide the serious defects and sell it “as is” to make a quick and easy profit. Only Rick’s diligence in getting her own thorough inspections done saved his buyer from being saddled with future repair costs in the tens of thousands of dollars.

My take-away from these apparent “disappointments” is that sometimes it is a blessing when we DON’T get what we ask for.  If you look back, I’m sure you will recognize times in your own life when you were saved from what seemed like desirable outcomes at the time – maybe a failed romance with a n’er-do-well or a financial scam you didn’t fall for.  The Universe may have used your own intuition or the wise counsel of a trusted advisor to protect you from the disaster that would have resulted if you had gotten what you thought you wanted.

It was clear that these two averted real estate disasters were in his clients’ best interests, but what, I wondered, do Rick and I have to be grateful for, aside from our happiness for their good fortune?

Here’s the BIG blessing for us: If either of these commissions had come through, we would have been vacationing this past week at the luxurious Tenaya Lodge in Yosemite. I had cancelled our reservations without penalty as soon as I realized that things were not going to work out financially as we had hoped.  Right after our trip was cancelled, Rick got calls out of the blue from two new referral clients to help them purchase their dream homes before the end of the year.  One of the two couples was only in town during this week. If we had gone to Yosemite, they would have found another realtor to work with.

BONUS blessings: Both of Rick’s new clients are looking for homes in even HIGHER price ranges than the deals that fell through.  AND Rick’s two original clients, who appreciated his integrity and diligence on their behalf, are actively working with him to find their new dream homes. So, as a result of our initial “disappointments,” we now have more than double the financial prosperity coming to us!

This Thanksgiving, I hope you will give thanks for everything in your life – even if it doesn’t appear (at the moment) to be working according to YOUR plans.  If you will just wait patiently and trust the Universe to work out the “How” in its own perfect way, eventually it will bring you something EVEN BETTER. I promise.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!  I will be enjoying the long holiday weekend with my family.  A Cup of Caroll will return on December 8. 

******** What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your big dreams and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: or contact me at or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation! *************

The smallest change in perspective can transform a life.  What tiny attitude adjustment might turn your world around? – Oprah Winfrey

I was blessed to be invited by a friend to an amazing event this past week.  It was a three-hour Q & A, give-and-take conversation on stage at the Anaheim Convention Center between two of the greatest Master Manifesters on the planet, Dr. Wayne Dyer and Esther Hicks.

Dr. Dyer has been teaching people to change their lives and manifest their dreams for decades via his more than 30 books, PBS specials and in-person lectures.  His newest book (but not for long) is Wishes Fulfilled. I highly recommend it if you want to learn some practical tips for making your dreams come true with maximum speed and ease.

Esther Hicks, with her late husband Jerry, likewise has been teaching people how to manifest whatever they want for a long time.  In fact, they were instrumental in the creation of the original DVD of The Secret, and claim credit for giving the title “Law of Attraction” to the principle that asserts “energy attracts like energy.” By this law, if you match your personal energetic vibration to what you want, it will be attracted to you. The flip side, of course, is that if your vibration is negative, you will attract to you people, things and circumstances that align with negative energy.

Esther claims to be able to channel a group energy that calls itself “Abraham.” She allows Abraham to use her voice to teach us how to live life the way it was meant to be lived by humans – with love and ease. One of my favorite books based on the “teachings of Abraham” is Ask and It is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires.  This is a clear, simple step-by-step tool for learning to control your thoughts and feelings so you can align your energy with what you want to manifest into the material world.  At the very least, following their teachings will make you FEEL calm, centered and joyful!

During the event, Dr. Dyer sat across from Esther Hicks and asked her questions, while Abraham spoke through her to answer his questions.  He asked some great questions, and through Abraham’s unscripted answers, I realized a deeper understanding of just how we unknowingly sabotage what we want to attract to us – a great job, more money, a loving relationship, time freedom, adventure, etc. – simply by resisting it.  According to Abraham, Source Energy (AKA God or the Universe) has what we want ready to manifest into the physical world the minute we “ask.” The way Sources “reads” what we are asking for is through our consistent THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about it.

I now get just how key FEELINGS are.  Your feelings must match the vibration of what you WANT in order for you to be able to see it, experience it and have it in the material world we live in.

Yet, as willing as Source is to deliver it, we consistently resist allowing it to come to us. We do this, Abraham says, by focusing on our perceived problem instead of the solution to it. When your thoughts go back again and to being in debt and feeling how much you dislike it, you are unintentionally attracting more debt to you with your “debt energy.” When you think and feel again and again of how lonely you are, you are creating more opportunities to be alone. When you think of how much you hate going to your dead-end job every day, you are creating more opportunities for feeling unfulfilled and frustrated at work.

What you must do instead is to think about how great it will be when you are debt-FREE or in LOVE or working at a career that excites and fulfills you.  And then – and this is crucial – you must let your imagination vividly conjure more and more positive, happy details about what you desire, which will and allow you to FEEL in advance what it will be like for you when it becomes real. But you must FEEL it right now as though it IS real.  You can’t say, “When I see it, then I will believe it.”  Instead, as Wayne Dyer says, “When you believe it, then you will see it.”

This isn’t news, of course.  For the past two decades, I’ve used many of the energy-management tools and techniques shared by these two Master Manifesters to help myself and others learn to harnass the power of the human imagination to FEEL those good vibrations that will overcome our resistance and allow our dreams to manifest.

But something about the sharp, clear way that Abraham/Esther explained in person how Source sees us as whole, complete and perfect with NOTHING missing from our lives really sank into my consciousness at a whole new level.  I came away from the Wednesday event feeling light, happy and completely confident that EVERYTHING I needed to thrive was available to me right this minute.  I let go of all worry and fear and went to sleep that night feeling a deep sense of joyous peace.

The next morning, I turned on my computer to check my bank balance, as I had been doing daily all week. I was closely monitoring the hoped-for arrival of a large coaching fee that would cover some expenses that needed to be paid by Saturday.  When I charge a client’s credit card, it generally takes five business days to be deposited into my checking account. Maybe 10% of the time, I somehow get lucky and it shows up on day four.  But by and large, I don’t count on seeing the money until day five.

Since I had charged the client’s card the prior Friday night and Monday was a banking holiday, I knew it was a toss-up whether the funds would be deposited in four working days (on Friday) or five (on Monday).  Throughout the week, every time I found myself feeling anxious about the arrival of the money, I did my best to re-direct my thoughts and re-focus my energy to pure GRATITUDE for the funds being available just when I needed them.  I have to admit, though, that some doubt and worry kept creeping back into my consciousness. As Abraham would say, instead of simply trusting and allowing my good to come to me easily, I was resisting and causing myself useless anxiety.

After the blissful Wednesday evening with Dr. Dyer and Abraham, I felt completely calm, grateful and happy when I opened my online bank statement.  To my amazement, the money was already there – on Thursday morning!  It has NEVER before happened that a credit card payment came to me in THREE banking days. I have to credit Wayne and Esther and Abraham for that.  As soon as I relaxed, trusted and allowed it, voila — Wish fulfilled!

You can learn more about how to raise your own vibration and get what you want directly from these Master Manifesters, as I have.  Check out the work of Dr. Wayne Dyer at and the teachings of Abraham Hicks at

******** What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your big dreams and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: or contact me at or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation! *************


If we treat people as who they can become, they will be inspired to rise to the level of our expectations. – John Maxwell

I was going to write about something else today, but when I heard from two clients in the space of an hour this morning, both with the same complaint, I felt a nudge from the Universe to write about a totally different topic.

Both of these women are wonderful people who always strive to do the right thing and to treat others with kindness and respect. They deserve only the best in life.  But no matter how good we are, we will sometimes be treated badly by others. One was upset because her soon-to-be ex-boss had made a snide comment to her, insinuating she was being less than productive during her final week at work. The other was hurt that her mother had unjustly accused her in front of other family members of not being supportive during a family crisis.

I let them vent, and then I asked them both, “What difference does what they said make in YOUR life?”  The answer both gave was “Nothing.”  Nothing unkind that is said to or about them can impede their happiness or ability to reach their goals. And, in each case, their nemesis was behaving in a way that was totally consistent with who they had shown themselves to be over a long period of time.  In other words, they were just being themselves.  Not their highest selves, but they were acting according to how their Egos see the world.

It’s not our job to change other people. Constant, fear-based scarcity thinking is its own punishment. These people are living under a cloud of constant suspicion, resentment, anger, blame, and self-imposed victimhood. Because they expect the worst from others and (as the Law of Attraction states)“energy attracts like energy,” they must inevitably attract negative people and situations into their lives. By recognizing that they are creating their own hellish self-fulfilling prophecy, we can forgive them or at least have compassion for them.

It is not how others treat us, but the way we respond to how they treat us that determines what is attracted next into our lives.  Nobody and nothing outside of you has the power to make you feel bad.  How we FEEL is entirely our choice — an internal response to an external situation. If you allow someone’s words or deeds to upset you, “the terrorists win.”

I know how frustrating and hurtful it can be to be unjustly accused of something.  But in the grand scheme things, what others think of us is none of our business.  They have a right to their opinion, and if it is petty, flawed, or just plain mean, that’s their loss, not ours.  For the most part, the folks they are gossiping to about us are well aware of this, and most don’t buy into it. Those who have their own interactions with you will judge you on their personal experience of you, not on malicious gossip.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that you should be a doormat.  If someone is doing something that harms you in a material way — slandering you on a job reference, withholding money owed to you, lying about you in court, etc. — such actions need to be answered directly with the truth.  And, as I’ve seen time and again, the truth ALWAYS comes out eventually.

One of my clients was taken to court by her ex-husband, who accused her of hiding a huge income that she didn’t really make, in an attempt to get his child support payments reduced.  In fact, he claimed that she should have to pay HIM child support, even though she had primary custody of their children.

At first, she was incensed that she was being falsely accused and that she had to expend a great deal of time, trouble and expense defending herself in court. I coached her to let go of all resentment towards him and to focus solely on maintaining positive energy and putting together solid proof of her true income for the judge. Since the truth was on her side, I helped her steadily grow her faith that everything would ultimately be resolved in her favor. She was able to remain calm, get the expert help she needed, and triumph in court.  In fact, not only was the case against her dismissed, but the judge substantially INCREASED the amount of child support her ex-husband was paying her and ordered him to pay all back child support he owed, as well as half of her attorney fees.

When faced with unfair treatment, the rule of thumb we can use is this: If there is something you need to do to protect your own material interests, then DO it, without negative emotion about the person or situation. And, if there is nothing you can do about it, then simply re-focus your attention toward what you want for YOUR life.

Where attention goes, energy flows. So stay focused on what you WANT and allow others to learn their own life lessons and reap their own karma. After all, living well, as they say, is the best revenge.

******** What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your big dreams and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: or contact me at or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation! *************