January 2014


“Be strong and of good courage, and act.  Do not be afraid or dismayed; for the Lord God, my God, is with you.” – 1 Chronicles 28:20

Over the past two weeks, I have shared with you seven of my Top Ten Big Life Lessons that I have learned from the ups and downs of 60 years of living.  I am sharing them with you, not as a wise guru telling you how it is, but just hoping that some of my lessons might save you some personal time and effort, so you can get to the “Good Stuff” faster.

I invite you to send me your thoughts and comments on the wisdom you have gained from some of your own Big Life Lessons.  I will learn from them myself, delightedly pass them along to my friends and coaching clients and hopefully share some of the best in a future blog!

If you missed any of the prior seven lessons, you can find them in the Blog archives on my website below.  Now, here are my personal TOP THREE Big Life Lessons:

3) Pursue your Dreams daily.

Life is too short not to spend as much time as you possibly can doing what you love with people you love in surroundings you love. When you are lying on your death bed, I can guarantee you won’t be thinking, “I wish I’d cleaned out the junk drawer in the kitchen.”

Most people say their biggest regrets in life are not what they did but what they DIDN’T do.  You not only have to take a risk to pursue your dreams, you have to carve out TIME on your calendar to pursue them.

Suggestion: Take an inventory of all the tasks and activities you routinely spend time on each week or month.  Then look for those that really don’t inspire you and you don’t really HAVE to do. (You are probably doing them now out of guilt or habit.) Drop those uninspiring activities from your calendar and instead fill the time with action steps that will move you closer to fulfilling your dreams.

Marcia Wieder, who has been dubbed “America’s Dream Coach,” recommends keeping a separate file folder on each Big Dream you want to pursue.  You might have a handful or dozens at any given time.  Whenever you come across a resource or get a brilliant idea about one of your Dreams, open that folder and make a note or drop in the article or picture you cut out or printed out.

Whenever you find a gap on your calendar, search for a step that will fit in that available time slot. Make a quick phone call or an internet search, register for a class, purchase a ticket  – some of these steps will take you just minutes and some could take you several hours. Marcia says you must do SOMETHING every day that will move you closer to at least one of your Dreams or they will just gather dust and die.

Resolve to take ONE ACTION on at least one of your Big, Juicy Dreams every day.  (Even visualizing it in vivid detail just before you fall asleep counts as an action!)

2) The perfect time is NOW.

There is no “perfect time” to pursue your Dream.  Stop making excuses and start taking action.  Doing whatever you can do right NOW proves your commitment to your Dream. Then the Law of Attraction will come out to play with you, the momentum will build, and before you know it, you will be rapidly on your way to fulfilling it.

The only way God/the Universe, other people and most importantly YOU know what you are truly committed to is by the actions that you take. Words are empty. Action is all that counts.

Starting with the assassination of President Kennedy when I was 10, the unexpected deaths of both my first love and my father in my Senior year of High School, through Princess Diana’s shockingly tragic death, 9/11, the Boston Marathon bombings, and countless random accidents and acts of violence we have all witnessed on the evening news, I have learned that our wonderful plans for “Tomorrow” are NOT guaranteed.

Seize the moment NOW.  Make your best effort with the tools you have at hand right now, and trust that more guidance and resources will be given to you along the way.

#1) Be patient, trust and give thanks.

“This too, shall pass.”  Every challenge you are facing in your life today, however big it may seem, will eventually be behind you. Stop worrying about dire “What ifs?” you can’t do anything about in the present moment or being pissed off about what “shouldn’t be” or how someone else “should” behave. ALL of that is wasted time that could have been spent solving the problems and moving on much more quickly.

Believe that the Universe is on your side. Seek the growth opportunity in every Big Juicy Dream that seems to be stalled or moving in the “wrong” direction.  Strive to discover what you can learn from the situation. Ask yourself, “What must I change about myself and my beliefs in order to have what I want?”

As you pursue your own unique Life Path, if you learn your own Big Life Lessons along the way, your big life challenges become fewer and your personally painful periods are shorter.

Spend less time worrying over what is or is not happening at the moment and more time being actively, vocally appreciative of all the good in your life right NOW.  Gratitude is the most positive vibration you can send out into the Universe to attract more of what you WANT to have in your life.

Suggestion: Start keeping a daily journal in which you list “10 Things I’m Grateful For Today” and you will soon realize that your problems are minescule compared to the myriad examples of comfort, joy, generosity, kindness, beauty, and love that fill your life to overflowing right NOW.

*********** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ************

My offer ends this FRIDAY, but it’s not too late! You can still give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique New Year’s gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.

It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for awhile, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

Just have your friends contact me at 888-503-8145 or caroll@coachyourdream.com  no later than this Friday, January 31 to schedule their appointment.  We can hold their F*R*E*E coaching session anytime through February, but they must contact me by the end of this month to schedule a time.

“There is more to us than we know.  If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives we will be unwilling to settle for less.” – Kurt Hahn

Last week, I shared with you that living through a wide variety of good and bad experiences over the past 60 years has taught me some valuable Big Life Lessons that seem to make my life go more smoothly and help me more easily create what I WANT nowadays.

In the hopes that these insights may save YOU some time and trouble, I am sharing them with you throughout the rest of January. May they encourage you to reflect on and celebrate wisdom you have gained from you OWN life experiences, as well.

If you missed last week’s Big Life Lessons #10 – #8, you can find them on my website in the blog archives. Here are the next four of my Top Ten Big Life Lessons:

7) Put yourself first.

It is critical that you allow yourself a bit of “me” time regularly to replenish your body, mind and spirit.  You can’t do that if you live only to take care of others. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself.  If you don’t, you will soon find that you have no reserves left to contribute to others, let alone yourself.

Being called “Nice” by everyone around you is really a code word for “People Pleaser.”  I know because I was a Champion People Pleaser in my 20s and 30s.  I desperately needed to be liked and appreciated by everyone I came in contact with because my own sense of self-worth was shaky. So I would volunteer to serve on every committee, take on every extra unpaid work assignment, and spend my weekends working on other peoples’ projects just to hear them say, “Thanks. We couldn’t have done it without you.”  (And sometimes they didn’t even say that.)

Stop spending ALL of your precious time and energy helping others pursue their dreams and start pursuing YOURS. Just say, “No thank you” and the volunteer committee will find another “nice” person to take your place, I guarantee it.

6) You are stronger than you think.

You’ve weathered all of life’s storms up to now and you’ve had every resource you needed to do so.  How do I know that?  Because if there were ever one single moment when you DIDN’T have all of the inner and outer resources you needed to survive, you wouldn’t be here.

Do not despair, no matter how bleak things may look at the moment.  The cavalry is coming.  Press on, doing your Best through the crisis du jour and believe that you will make it through. Soon, the sun will shine again and it will all be behind you.

5) Believe in yourself.

What others think of you is none of your business.  They can’t live your life for you. When you feel uncertain about a big decision you have to make, by all means seek the objective counsel of someone trustworthy who is wise and qualified to advise you. But do not waste time and create inner confusion by polling the audience for their random opinions on your issue.

Your parents, friends, family, boss, customers, and acquaintances are not living YOUR life. You don’t need their approval to follow your own Inner Wisdom. Never let the well-meaning but biased opinions of others stop you from pursuing your passions and doing what you know is right for YOU.

Instead, go within and spend time in prayer or meditation. Get quiet and listen for the Still Small Voice within you that is God/The Universe whispering Divine guidance to your Higher Self. Learn to rely on your own intuition and trust yourself to make the right decision.

4) You can’t control others.

On the flip side, you must stop judging others’ decisions and trying to run THEIR program.  It’s not your job to try to save them from making valuable mistakes and learning their own Life Lessons.  Your children, partner, siblings, friends and parents each have their own unique Life Path to follow and their own personal Big Life Lessons to learn along the way.

Allow those you love the same freedom to fall on their face, learn from their mistakes and fully express their own uniqueness as you want for yourself.  You don’t know everything that is going on in the life of someone you are close to.  You do not know what is “best” for them.

We each have enough to keep us plenty busy just living our own life. Step back and allow the Universe to watch over those you love and help them directly.  In the wonderful words of my favorite prosperity teacher, Edwene Gaines, “God doesn’t have any grandchildren.”

NEXT WEEK: My Top Three Big Life Lessons!

*********** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ************

TIME IS GETTING SHORT but it’s not too late! You can still give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique New Year’s gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching. 

It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for awhile, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

Just have your friends contact me at 888-503-8145 or caroll@coachyourdream.com  no later than Friday, January 31 to schedule their appointment.  We can hold their F*R*E*E coaching session anytime through February, but they must contact me by the end of this month to schedule a time.

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past — BUT you sure do change the future.” — Bernard Meltzer from the book “Love Is a Verb.”

Pondering what topic to write about for this week’s blog, I remembered that during the past week I noticed that several of my coaching clients were all grappling with the same issue: old wrongs suffered at the hands of someone important in their life – a parent, mentor, spouse, sibling.

Most were working in depth on the Reflections Exercise from Blog 139 to bring their emotional wounds out in the open so they could complete the past and open up an energetic “clearing” in which to create everything they wanted to have in the New Year.

All of them realized that their legitimate feelings of pain, anger and resentment toward those who had wronged them were obstacles to creating something better for themselves, yet each was having a hard time letting go of self-defeating negative thoughts and feelings toward others (and sometimes toward themselves).

Musing about this pattern I noticed in my clients, I felt genuinely grateful to have already learned that particular Life Lesson — that whenever I let someone else define me, judge me or anger me, I am just holding myself hostage to my own limiting beliefs and negative feelings. As the saying goes, “Holding a grudge is like you drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.”

That got me thinking about what BIG lessons I have truly learned in my 60 years on Planet Earth.  I wrote them down as my personal “Top 10 Big Life Lessons.”

I realize that, as individuals, you and I may have very different backgrounds and life experiences, yet I believe these Ah-Ha Moments will resonate with you, too. I don’t see myself as some wise sage or guru, by any stretch. Still, having survived a wide variety of good and bad experiences over the past 60 years has taught me some valuable lessons that seem to make life go more smoothly and help me more easily create what I WANT going forward.

Some of my personal Big Life Lessons may save YOU some time and trouble, too. That’s why I’ve decided to share them with you throughout the rest of January, in the hope it will encourage you to think deeply about what YOU can claim as your own hard-won wisdom about life.

So, under the heading “If I’d Known Then What I Know Now, I’d Have Done Things Differently…” here are my Top Ten Big Life Lessons.  Like David Letterman, I’ll reveal them in ascending order, starting with Big Life Lesson #10:

10) No positive change is “too small” to make. Everything we do matters.  If you take ONE slice of bread off of your sandwich and eat it open-faced, you will save 100 calories a day.  Sound like that’s not worth the bother? Just making that ONE little change could drop 10 pounds of fat off of you effortlessly by next New Year’s Eve.

Stop your $3 – $5 a day Starbucks or fast food habit, and save that money.  At the end of each month, you could have a great evening out, donate $100 to your favorite cause or buy something you REALLY want. Or better yet, you could slash your personal debt by well over $1,000 a year, plus interest.

Instead of making a long list of overly-ambitious “Resolutions” you are bound to break before long, why not try committing to establishing ONE new positive habit and giving up ONE old negative habit this year?

For example, you could improve your health and lose weight just by giving up snacking after dinner in front of the television AND starting to walk for 30 minutes every day.  You could develop a more interesting and attractive personality simply by giving up complaining about anything to anyone AND taking up reading or listening to inspiring, thought-provoking or instructive books for 20 minutes a day.

You will be amazed at what making just two small changes will do to your life.

9) Expect the best and let go of the rest.  Adopt a consistently positive mindset toward what is possible for you and for others.  See every day as an opportunity for a fresh start for everyone.

Regardless of mistakes you’ve made in the past, you are free to begin right NOW to create your future the way you want it to be… but NOT if you are trying to move forward staggering under a heavy load of Regret, Resentment and Resignation. Stop beating yourself up for yesterday’s mistakes or holding grudges about how you were raised or treated.  Forgive yourself and others for being human.

As Maya Angelou says, “Take the valuable learning you got from every experience in your life and leave the rest behind.”

The Law of Attraction states that “Energy attracts like energy.”  Each of us is responsible for our OWN thoughts and actions.  You can influence the experiences that are attracted to you from here on out by doing your best, expecting the best results, and releasing ALL negativity.

Just practice being the best YOU that you can be, and allow the Universe to take care of everyone else.

8) Strive to make a difference. No act of kindness or generosity is too small to make a difference to someone else. Contributing $10 to disaster relief in a country far away or to a food pantry or animal shelter in your city will enable good organizations to enhance many individual lives.

Giving of your personal “Time, Treasure and Talent” to others to the greatest extent you can in whatever circumstances you currently find yourself will come back to bless you through Karma or the Law of Reciprocity.  I have experienced this many times, as I’m sure you have.

One example I remember vividly was attending a Sunday afternoon workshop at my church.  The presenter had come a long way and his only financial reward would come from “love offerings” – whatever each participant chose to give.  Just a handful of people came, yet he appeared to be completely unaffected by the small turnout. He clearly gave 100% of his time, treasure and talent to each and every individual present.

I personally got so much joy and inspiration from the experience that I impulsively gave him a check for $200, which was just about all I had in my account at the time.  But in the next day’s mail, I discovered a surprise “tithe” from a former client who wanted to thank me for the “spiritual food” I had given her.  Yes, it was a check for exactly $200!

A verse from Proverbs 11:25 sums up this Life Lesson perfectly: “The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed.  Those who help others are helped.”  And besides, isn’t doing something good for someone else just about the BEST feeling you can have?

NEXT WEEK: Stay tuned for more of my Top 10 Big Life Lessons!

******** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! *********

TIME IS GETTING SHORT but it’s not too late! You can still give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique New Year’s gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.

It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for awhile, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

Just have your friends contact me at 888-503-8145 or caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com  no later than Friday, January 31 to schedule their appointment.  We can hold their F*R*E*E coaching session anytime through February, but they must contact me by the end of this month to schedule a time.