“You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.” – Louise Smith

Last week, I described the two categories of fears that keep me busy as a Personal Success Coach, as I try to help my clients to successfully reach their Big Goals: Fear of Success and Fear of Failure.

The second type — Fear of Failure — is more widespread and is often tougher to overcome because it involves some deep-seated fears held in your subconscious mind that you don’t even realize are there. The Inner Protector part of your psyche believes it is dangerous for you to stray too far outside of your current comfort zone to pursue your goals because it doesn’t know exactly what changes it could bring into your life. In order to keep you “safe,” your Inner Protector hijacks your vivid imagination to conjure up a variety of dire “What Ifs?” in hopes of persuading you to not risk pursuing your dreams.

I promised to tell you exactly HOW to “look these fears in the face” as Eleanor Roosevelt said we must, and free yourself to move forward. I have learned two very effective coaching methods that I want to share each with you in detail this week and next.

I was trained in the first method by Tim Kelley, a great coach and founder of the True Purpose Institute ™.   It is a critical step in the coaching process we use to help clients find their Purpose. Your Purpose is essentially made up of your “Essence” (who you are at your core) and your “Blessing” (exactly HOW you go about sharing your unique gifts with others).

True Purpose Coaching ™ offers clients a variety of methods for accessing the part of their unconscious mind that knows their Purpose to get details about their Purpose that their conscious mind is largely unaware of. But in order to access this “Trusted Source” part of your psyche, you must get permission from your Inner Protector part, which is the gatekeeper to the unconscious mind.

Your Protector’s role is vital to your well-being: It assesses risks to keep you safe and it tries to make sure that all your Ego needs are met — including material needs and psychological needs. Your Protector wants you to be healthy, successful, approved of and rewarded with all the goodies that will keep you happy and comfortable. So your Protector is quite invested in convincing you NOT to try things it deems risky.

Fortunately, True Purpose Coaching also offers several effective methods to help my Purpose clients get their Protector’s permission to connect to their unconscious mind, where a lot of Purpose information is stored. The quickest and most effective method for most is what Tim Kelley calls the “Worse Case Scenario” exercise. Happily, the WCS process can also be used to uncover the fears that your Protector holds about pursuing your Big Goals. Here are the step by step instructions for how you can do this:

STEP ONE:   Create your Intention: Try to describe your Big Goal in one sentence, including the date by when you would love to reach it. Make sure it is stated in a way that is specific and measurable, so both you and your Protector will know that you either got it or you didn’t. For example: “On or before December 31, 2014, I sponsor four new business partners onto my network marketing Team.”

STEP TWO: Uncover your Protector’s fears about this Goal: Ask yourself: If that became true, what bad things could happen? List EVERYTHING that comes to mind, big or small — even fears that seem highly unlikely to happen. Know that if you can imagine it, that means your Protector is afraid of it. Examples of fears about reaching this Big Goal of sponsoring four new business partners by December 31:

  • 1) I have never trained more than one new person at a time. I won’t be able to handle training four at once.
  • 2) I am new to the business myself, and I don’t know all the ropes yet. I cannot be a good Leader for them.

ETC. ETC. ETC. There can be 5, 10 or 50 potential pitfalls that your Protector will suggest to help keep you “safe” from making the big mistake of sponsoring four people in such a short time! Don’t judge them or laugh at them, just write them ALL down.

STEP THREE:   Deal with each of these fears separately, ONE AT A TIME. Starting with the first fear above, ask yourself ,“If that happened, what is the WORST thing that could happen?” and write down whatever comes to mind next, such as:

I will be overwhelmed trying to train four new people at the same time. (Then ask yourself the same question about THAT answer: What is the worst that could happen if I am overwhelmed?)

If I am overwhelmed, I will stop answering their calls and just hide out.  (And what is the worst that could happen if I just hide out?)

Everyone will think I am a coward and not Leader material. (And what is the worst that could happen if everyone believes I am a coward and not Leader material?)

I will be mortified. (And what is the worst that could happen if I am mortified?)

I won’t want to show my face at any meetings or talk to my own Leader. (And what is the worst that could happen if I avoid meetings and hide from my Leader?)

I will drop out of the business. (And what is the worst that could happen if I drop out of the business?)

I will lose my best hope of ever having financial freedom. (And what is the worst that could happen if I lose my best hope of ever having financial freedom?)

I will feel like a complete failure. (And what is the worst thing that could happen if I feel like a failure?)

I could become isolated and feel suicidal. (And what is the worst thing that could happen if I become suicidal?)

I could kill myself. (And what is the worst thing that could happen if I kill myself?)

My family will be devastated. (And what is the worst thing….ETC.)

Whew! OK, let’s STOP at this point — I am sure that you get the idea! But when you actually deal with each of YOUR fears, you must push yourself to KEEP GOING DOWN the “risk ladder” until you absolutely cannot think of anything that could possibly be a WORSE outcome than the last thing you wrote down. Your Inner Protector should feel mighty uncomfortable at this point if you are doing this right!

Eventually, you will reach a bottom level that will seem either completely absurd – you know in your heart that it would never come to THAT – or so dire that you would NOT be willing to sponsor four new people onto your Team if it meant your kids would grow up without a mother!

When you hit the lowest, WORST Case Scenario that your Inner Protector can imagine, stop and ask yourself, “If I knew for sure THAT was going to happen, would I still sponsor four new people?” The answer could be “Yes” but it is more likely to be “Heck NO!”

If the answer is NO, then you simply walk back up the risk ladder to the point at which you would STOP pursuing your Big Goal if it were going to lead to that WCS. (It might be the point when you found yourself wanting to hide from your Leader and not show your face at meetings.)

STEP FOUR: Once you have identified that rung on the risk ladder beyond which you would unwilling to go, you can now collaborate with your Protector to identify the specific CONDITIONS that need to be in place in order for it to feel safe for you to sponsor four or more people by the end of the year.

Think of these “Conditions” as the Action Steps that you promise to take in order to ensure you do NOT go below the last acceptable rung on the risk ladder. They should always be stated in the POSITIVE – i.e. what you WILL do, not what you will NOT do.

Examples of Conditions that your Protector might suggest to make it feel safe to pursue this Big Goal:

1) If one or more of my new Team members needs help when I am busy, I will ask my own Leader to help them until I can step back in.

2) I will get all four of them together for small group training calls, so I can give them the basic information each of them needs in a short time. This will free me up to spend more time with them individually. It will also give them a chance to get to know each other quicker and support each other as “Team.

3) I will ask them to communicate through emails and texts whenever possible, so I can quickly tell them where to find whatever they need.

You probably will need just a handful of these conditions/strategies to handle each individual fear. When you have worked through all the fears, gather all the Conditions for all the fears into ONE LIST. I recommend that you keep it handy and re-read it at least weekly. This regular practice will help your Protector to continue to feel safe to let you pursue your Big Goal!

Next time: I will share with you another method that really works to help you recognize your unconscious Old Limiting Beliefs that have been sabotaging your success and replace them with new Empowering Beliefs that can help you reach your Big Goals with speed and ease!

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What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your big dreams and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: http://practicalprosperitycoach.com or contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation!