May 2015


“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” – Mahatma Gandhi

If you are reading this, you are undoubtedly someone who cares about personal development.   You believe that good ideas, tips, techniques and the experiences others share can contribute to YOUR success, well-being and happiness.

I would venture to guess that you also invest precious time and money attending workshops, trainings, tele-seminars, webinars and/or reading and listening to a number of gurus, experts and inspiring speakers whose wisdom can undoubtedly help you achieve your Big Goals and develop your potential.

If so, bravo!   You are one of the few people who are willing to go beyond the status quo and make a real effort to develop new skills, explore new ideas and even change your beliefs that may be holding you back from greatness. As a result, you could be delighted with your growth and progress in your business, family life and well-being.

On the other hand, you may be wondering “Why am I not further along after spending so much time and money to learn all this good stuff? Why isn’t any of it making a real difference for me?”

The Pull of the Same Old Same Old

As a self-professed “Workshop Junkie” for thirty-plus years, I can attest that simply paying the fee, listening carefully, taking good notes and underlining good material will NOT change your life. Returning home with a “workshop high,” then parking my notebook on the bookshelf and never opening it again is something I did many times.   Sure, some of the more vivid ideas from trainings and books stuck with me and I implemented a few here and there.   But unless I made a concerted effort to put what I learned into DAILY practice, all those great Ah-Ha Moments soon faded from my memory and I inevitably found myself reverting to my entrenched habits and comfortable old beliefs.

Unfortunately, after your thoughts and beliefs have been stirred up with something new, your own Ego is pre-programmed to get you back to status quo as soon as possible because that’s what it thinks is the safest thing for you to do. It knows you can survive your life just as it has been, but it’s worried that all those NEW ideas and tactics might change you in ways that could have dire consequences. Any time you try to implement something new, you are going to have a fight on your hands from your own Ego.

Installing New Thought Patterns

So how can you overcome this strong inner voice telling you to stay comfortably parked on the couch and not change anything about your life? The answer is simple: PRACTICE.   Training studies done by NASA on astronauts proved that it takes 25 to 30 days of consistent repetition for the human brain to build a new neural pathway for electrical thought impulses to flow through. These thought corridors in the brain enable you to drive a car without having to consciously think about where your feet go on the pedals, or how each of your fingers should move to play a piano sonata or type an email message. They form new go-to thought habits, if you will. A single infusion of inspiration or knowledge – no matter how impactful – generally won’t stick around for long without being anchored in your brain via consistent repetitive practice.

I’ve found that while I’m learning an online accounting program to keep all my business records up to date so tax time will be a breeze, I must practice it regularly in order to master it. If I don’t use it on at least a weekly basis, I inevitably forget parts of the process and have to refer back to my notes.

What you Think About, You Bring About 

As Gandhi said, we are each a product of our own thoughts. The Law of Attraction (which states that energy attracts like energy) dictates that the people, resources and circumstances that habitually show up in your life are a reflection of your inner reality. For things to change in your outer world, you must habitually think new thoughts and feel new feelings in order to attract what you want in your life.

But how do you develop consistently positive thoughts and energy? I believe it is through simple Daily Personal Practices. If you will discipline yourself to spend just 30-60 minutes each morning on your own personal practices, they will help you turn many great ideas you are exposed to into consistent, habitual thoughts and actions that will set you up for success and inner enrichment.

Develop A Daily Personal Practice

Here are four simple but powerful Daily Personal Practices that I recommend to all my coaching clients:

1) Read or listen to an enlightening, uplifting message each day. This can be religious or something secular that is positive and uplifting. There are scores of books, message texts or emails you can subscribe to for a positive daily thought or affirmation. I particularly enjoy both Joel Osteen’s daily messages and the affirmations in the Daily Word put out by the Unity Church, but they don’t necessarily have to spiritual or religious. Reading any inspiring and uplifting passages will expand your consciousness and empower you to handle whatever challenges or opportunities you may face that day.

2) Pray or Meditate for a few minutes. After putting some good thoughts into your head, you can close your eyes and pray or meditate for maybe five minutes to let them sink in. The goal is to stop your monkey-mind Ego chatter for just a few minutes so you can receive the spiritual guidance of your Higher Power or Higher Self. It has been said that “Prayer is talking to God and meditating is listening to His reply.”

3) Maintain a regular Gratitude practice. I love to keep a Daily Gratitude Journal in which I list 10 things I am grateful for in my life right NOW. I learned this from Oprah, who said that just knowing she was going to have to list the things she was grateful for that day made her NOTICE all the good things in her life, which made her even happier with her life. And, of course, the Law of Attraction causes whatever energy you are sending out into the world to come back to you. So, whatever you feel grateful for now will attract even MORE to you – like money, for instance!

4) Get some kind of exercise every day. Just 30 minutes of walking has been shown to provide substantial health benefits for people of all ages. If you claim you “don’t have time” to exercise, you are REALLY saying, “Health and well-being are not a priority for me.” You can get up 30 minutes earlier or spend an extra 30 minutes after you drop the kids at school before you start in on your daily routine IF you value your health. I walk for one hour six days a week and use exercise as part of my meditation and prayer time by doing a walking meditation. You could also listen to your daily positive message while you walk or do yoga. So you see, there’s really no excuse for not getting all four of these beneficial personal development practices done in just 30-60 minutes every morning!

Be Patient and Keep Practicing

Like any other habit, developing your Daily Personal Practice takes time, so be gentle with yourself as you explore different ways to fit it into your day and make it a priority. (One client listens to her recording of a weekly training call each morning while putting on her makeup.) Just don’t let your Ego fool you into thinking you can do it once in awhile and still get meaningful results. If you consistently do your Daily Personal Practice, your thoughts and energy will inevitably grow more positive and help you to get The Best results from your day.

One of my clients recently shared some major positive shifts in her life, which she attributes mainly to consistent Daily Personal Practices helping her develop a more positive mindset: “My business has really taken off, yet I feel so much less stressed than I used to be! I am sponsoring the right people with more ease. My life feels more balanced between work and family. My Team and I are having FUN together and they seem more motivated. I even took the whole Memorial Day Weekend off with my family and just enjoyed being together in the outdoors. There was no cell service, so I was completely cut off from work, and yet I still met a great new prospect for my business while we were fishing!” 

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching! It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached! And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift! 

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call toll-free 888-503-8145.

 

“Give out what you most want to come back.” – John Holmes

Last week’s blog got a big response, with many readers able to relate to my client’s discomfort when her emotionally abusive Ex-husband unexpectedly came back into her life.

While she initially felt upset, she soon realized that he no longer had any power over her. Therefore, if she worried about what he was up to and whether his life was happier than hers, she would be the only one to blame for her own unhappiness. Instead, she chose to focus on her own exciting plans for a great new career and new home in a new town, while striving to maintain a positive attitude toward her Ex. Very soon, it was revealed that he had actually come back into life to deliver a very welcome financial windfall from the sale of their old home.

There are many lessons we can take from her experience, including “Living well is the best revenge” when someone has wronged you. While we can’t control what someone else may do to us, we can control how we respond. Because the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) brings back to YOU more of whatever you put out to others, only your OWN thoughts, words and deeds can ultimately determine your future. No one else can harm you unless YOU take the bait and give back negativity in return.

This week, another of my coaching clients reminds us why it is better to focus our energy on attracting exactly what WE want instead of worrying about what our enemies think or try to do to us.

“Nancy” is a successful and respected Realtor who prides herself on her professionalism and going above and beyond for her clients. When she agreed to represent “Fred” in buying a new home, Nancy already knew he was a difficult person because he is the husband of her longtime friend and they live in the same neighborhood. Nancy wouldn’t have agreed to work with him except for wanting to help her dear friend get the best possible deal on the perfect new home.

Soon, Fred became the most emotionally-challenging client she’s ever had. A former Real Estate broker himself, he is a blustering know-it-all who often dismissed Nancy’s advice and treated her alternately with condescension and bullying, much as he treats his own wife. The couple is currently in escrow on a property, but after he yelled at her and told her to “shut up” on the phone, Nancy stopped communicating with him except via email, and her dear friend pretty much avoided Nancy altogether.

Not realizing all this drama was going on, another neighbor invited Nancy to a dinner party with Fred and his wife. Nancy decided to go for the sake of her friend, but was dreading the evening because of the current state of her business relationship with Fred.

I reminded her to use the tools I’d given her for harnessing the Law of Attraction to create a Win-Win for everyone involved in a difficult situation. Nancy vowed to control her own energy and to expect The Best from herself AND Fred during the evening. She promised herself that even if Fred behaved rudely to her, she would not respond in kind. Nancy pre-programmed her subconscious mind to speak and act the way she wanted to, by repeating to herself over and over, “I am a Consummate Professional, relentlessly positive, sincere and totally understanding. I am Priceless!”

When the evening rolled around, it was very warm and she was bringing a dish, so Nancy drove a block to the neighbor’s house and parked in the middle of her driveway. Because they lived only three doors away, Nancy assumed the couple would walk over, but Fred drove and was mad when he couldn’t park in the driveway. Nancy and the neighbor were relaxing when Fred bellowed from the porch, “Nice parking job, Nancy!”

Remembering to be “relentlessly positive,” Nancy said a cheerful hello and ignored his rude behavior. But soon, she was blindsided when Fred turned to her in front of everyone and demanded, “What did you say to my friend that made him hang up on you?!”  

This was a misunderstanding Nancy had already tried to straighten out with Fred. His friend was a handyman whom Fred insisted the seller employ to do repairs on the house they were buying. Handyman didn’t speak English very well and apparently had a run-in on the phone with the SELLER’S agent. When Nancy later called Handyman with a question, he shouted at her and hung up on her.   Three times previously, Nancy had tried to explain to Fred that Handyman must have thought Nancy was the same rude agent he had spoken to earlier, but Fred apparently didn’t believe her and couldn’t let it go. He thought she had mistreated his friend and was still trying to punish her for something she had not done.

Her first reaction was, “Here we go again! This guy just will NOT listen to reason!” She was tempted to try to defend herself once again, but then Nancy had a pivotal Ah-Ha Moment: This misunderstanding must be the source of Fred’s ongoing mistreatment of her! In his own weird way, he was trying to stand up for his dear friend, just as she was trying to stand up for hers.

So Nancy chose a different approach, keeping her vow to be a Consummate Professional who was sincere and totally understanding. She said sincerely, “I am so sorry your friend’s feelings are hurt. I will be happy to call him in the morning and apologize.” With that, a surprised Fred visibly softened and replied, “I would appreciate that.”

The next day, Nancy called Handyman and apologized for hurting his feelings. Handyman exclaimed, “Thank you very much!” and warmly asked her to keep him in mind for any future jobs he could help her clients with! And later, Fred texted her “Thank you. That was very important to me.”

Nancy triumphed by realizing that trying to prove Fred wrong and herself right would only further punish her and her dear friend. Rather than allow herself to get “Whopped” by caring about “Wh.at O.ther P.eople T.hink” she chose instead to be generous, kind and understanding.

As a result, Fred is behaving much better towards her, their real estate deal is moving ahead smoothly, and her dear friend is back to being her friend. And what better “revenge” could she possibly ask for?

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching! It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached! And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift!

 To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call toll-free 888-503-8145.

 

 

“What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it.   Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life.” – Oprah Winfrey

First, whether or not you have ever given birth, I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day! If you are a mentor, teacher and/or provider of unconditional love, support and guidance for others, you are a Nurturer who fulfills the essential role of Mother in the world.

Rick and I just celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary with multiple delightful activities and delicious meals in lovely locales over a four-day “stay-cation.” In the middle of it, on Sunday morning, I received an unexpected email from a client asking for some immediate “spot coaching.” I am sharing her story, my coaching and the surprising outcome with you today because I believe her experience provides an important life lesson for us all.

As background, “Dorothy” found herself suddenly on her own after her husband of many years abruptly filed for divorce. He had been emotionally abusive during the latter part of their marriage, so although it came as a shock to her, their breakup was also a relief. With her two grown children safely out on their own, Dorothy had the chance to re-create her life anew and learn how to depend totally on herself for the first time in decades.

She had a little savings in the bank, but her part-time work, while emotionally rewarding, could not provide the financial security she needed. She came to coaching a few months ago for help in attracting an ideal new career that would be fulfilling AND provide financial security and a good retirement.

The uncertainty of her financial future kept her a little on edge, but as she learned to embrace the Law of Attraction and to value and believe in herself more and more, she was starting to expect The Best. Soon, she uncovered and began pursuing a number of great job opportunities in the new area she will be moving to shortly. Everything was flowing smoothly until a series of puzzling and unsettling experiences began happening to her during the past several weeks.

Purposely cutting all ties with him, Dorothy had not seen or heard from her Ex in years. Then, out of the blue, he turned up at a car dealership where she was shopping at the very same time! While the “What are the odds?” randomness of the encounter shook her up, both of them pretended not to see each other, and she decided to let it go.

Then just a few days later, mutual friends spilled details about his life that she didn’t want to know, including the cities he lives and works in and that he is in a new relationship.   Just knowing where he currently lives and what he is up to created an emotional trigger, reviving old feelings of being betrayed, demeaned and de-valued by a man she once loved and trusted.   After losing sleep wondering WHY he seemed to be re-entering her life just as she is on the verge of making a fresh start, Dorothy emailed me for help uncovering the meaning of all these “chance encounters” that didn’t feel random at all.

I share with you now a slightly edited version of my reply email, because I know that each of us has someone in our life who pushes our emotional buttons in a way that can shake our belief in ourselves and our Dreams:

Hi, Dorothy,

First, thank you for sharing your deepest feelings with me. I honor those feelings and know that you have been working for many years to improve yourself and live your best life, following the devastation of a failed marriage with someone who didn’t honor your worth.

NOW is the only thing that counts. You cannot change your past — You can only learn from it. Everything that happens to us in life happens for a reason. I was just listening to a televised sermon by Joel Osteen. He said that without Goliath, David would be known today as just another shepherd boy. Instead, he became a King who played a huge role in changing his people’s history.

We all have experienced adversity and people who either want to harm us or at least want to “nay say” what we believe and who we strive to be in life. What Joel said is that without adversity, we would never know our own strength and what we are capable of. Adversity and “enemies” hone our character and eventually lift us UP in life…That is, unless WE allow them to tear us down.

So don’t allow your past hurts to stop you NOW. “Living well is the best revenge” is so true! It doesn’t matter what your Ex is doing with HIS life now. What matters to YOU is what you are doing with YOURS. And we both know that you are up to great things! Whatever you focus on — good or bad — is going to grow stronger and bigger in your life. So if you focus on your past fears and resentments and pain, they will become stronger and bigger in your life today.

Instead, I urge you to keep your “eyes on the prize” and you WILL reach it at the perfect time. YOUR energy and YOUR actions are what will determine what you attract to YOU. Your Ex’s energy and actions will determine what eventually comes to HIM. I believe 100% in the Law of Attraction and in karma. Whatever we do to others eventually comes back to us.

So, don’t worry about him…The Universe’s laws will take care of him. Whatever he sows, he will reap. And whatever YOU sow, will grow for YOU — for your highest good. Focus on the abundance of GOOD in your life — beauty, abundance, health, happiness — count your many blessings and be GRATEFFUL for them AND for the trials and difficult people in your life, too. All of them have made you who you are today — and that’s a GOOD thing!

All the Best,

Caroll

Here’s the happy ending to Dorothy’s story: She said my email helped her get back on track and she continued listing daily in her Gratitude Journal the 10 things she was grateful for in her life right now and focusing her energy only on the positive outcomes she wants for her future.

A few days later, she got a surprise email from her Ex, notifying her that a house they co-owned had sold and he would be sending her 50% of the proceeds in about a week.   Needless to say, she was both flabbergasted and delighted!

She was right; apparently, the string of “chance” encounters weren’t so random after all! Dorothy and I choose to frame it this way: The series of unsettling events involving her Ex were actually God/the Universe alerting her that something good was about to happen, while simultaneously giving her a chance to grow stronger and more trusting that The Best really can happen for her.

Here’s the lesson for all of us: What other people think of you is none of your business. Whatever they are up to can have no impact on you unless YOU allow it. So don’t let yourself get “Whopped” by succumbing to “Wh.at O.ther P.eople T.hink”!

Instead, choose to take Dorothy’s approach to the nay-sayers and button-pushers in your life: Simply decide to live well and prosper. If nothing else, it will drive them crazy!

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching! It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached! And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift! 

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call toll-free 888-503-8145.