March 2016


“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds: your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” – Patanjali

Today, Spring officially begins in the Northern Hemisphere.  As life blooms anew around us, we get “Spring Fever” — the urge to shake off the winter doldrums and begin pursuing our dreams with renewed energy and passion.

So it’s fitting that we have spent the month examining the common Limiting Beliefs that “It’s too late” or “You’re too old” to reach your Big Goals. Because the ultimate effects on your life are unknown, even positive changes can look like potential threats to your mental, emotional or physical well-being. While these Limiting Beliefs are generally far from the truth, the Inner Protector part of your Ego plants them in your consciousness to dissuade you from taking steps to reach your goals, believing it is keeping you safe by keeping you stuck.

Last week, I shared with you the inspiring story of how one of my clients refused to let the “Your Too Old” story and the long odds of success stop her from winning a coveted place in the New York Marathon, which she will run this November to celebrate a milestone birthday and open the next chapter of her life. Now, I want to share with you two equally inspiring stories of women who also overcame these two insidious Limiting Beliefs.

A full-time wife and mother for over twenty years, “Elsie” escaped her emotionally-abusive marriage as soon as her children were grown. When she came to me for coaching, she had a part-time job and lived with a female roommate in order to make ends meet. But Elsie dreamed of finding a rewarding career to pursue that would eventually provide retirement security via a pension. And, dreaming even bigger, she also wanted to find true love and remarry one day.

At age 66, it would be tempting for Elsie to buy that it was “too late” to begin a new career and that she is “too old” to find the love she knew she deserved. But Elsie was undaunted.

We focused first on her most critical Big Goal: finding a rewarding career.  At first, she pursued government jobs, since those are among the last that offer real “pensions” besides Social Security.  Then one day, it came to her that she could pursue a teaching career.  She already had a part-time job teaching English as a second language (ESL) to adults and she had a California credential to teach elementary school, but she hadn’t taught children in many years. Still, the idea kept getting stronger and we both thought it could be the “How” for fulfilling her Big Goal that God/The Universe was guiding her to.

She lacked one certification that was a new requirement since she last taught. She thought it was going to take a number of months to complete via an online course. But then she learned of an intensive summer school course that was being offered about 90 minutes from her home. She found housing close to the university, and went home on the weekends.  In just eight weeks, she passed the course and was free to apply for teaching positions in her area.

Unfortunately, the school year had just started, and all full-time positions were filled. While she waited to be called for substitute teaching, she discovered another part-time opening for an ESL adult ed position near her home, and was immediately hired.

As she worked purposefully toward fulfilling her career dream, we turned our attention to her relationship dream. She decided to try online dating and I recommended eHarmony, the site where I met my own wonderful husband, Rick, ten years ago.  I reviewed the profile she created and gave her a few tips to make it more appealing.

In the first few weeks, nothing much came of the matches she received.  Some men didn’t respond to her, while others didn’t appeal to her because of their photos.  I told her my own story of how Rick and I almost missed our date with destiny because neither of us cared for the other’s online photo.  Thankfully, we overcame those hasty prejudgments!

In December, Elsie decided to take a break from coaching for a few months, wanting to finish up her ESL semester before resuming coaching to help her land the perfect full-time teaching job.  Busy with my full slate of clients, I lost track of her until last month. When I emailed to check on how she was doing, I received this amazing reply:

“Hi, Caroll.  I am engaged to John from Oregon.  We met on eHarmony and have spent several long weekends together. After school ends May 19, I will move up to his lovely home. We are getting married in his church on June 18 and have had 2 meetings with the minister. I will have to work in Oregon and have applied for my Oregon teaching credential.”

I’d say Elsie didn’t just overcome those two Old, Limiting Beliefs; she decimated them!

The second inspiring story is from my client “Dee,” who wanted to create more prosperity in her life.  The company where she worked full-time for many years was steadily going downhill, following the death of the main partner. The remaining partners didn’t value or treat her well, giving her less and less responsibility, which resulted in a smaller and smaller paycheck.  Besides the financial strain on her family, this treatment took a toll on her confidence, which dampened her ability to grow her own bookkeeping business.

Middle-aged and divorced, Dee is the sole support of a multi-generational extended family. She is a caring, selfless person who gives much to others and demands little in return.  The one thing she has consistently done for herself is to take night classes to earn her MBA, in hopes of building a more secure financial future. Our coaching focused on strengthening her belief in herself.  I told her that nobody was going to value her any more than she valued herself.  She knew that was true, but the more her bosses belittled and disrespected her, the less valuable she felt.

One day, a stranger struck up a conversation and asked her what she did for a living.  She told him about her bookkeeping business and mentioned that she was going to complete her MBA this June.   She was taken aback when this total stranger pronounced, “Don’t you know that you will be competing for jobs with sharp young grads in their twenties? There are people with PhDs working at MacDonald’s right now. Why are you wasting your time on that at your age? “

That’s when something deep inside her shifted and she finally took a stand for her own value, stating, “God approves of me. I don’t need the approval of anyone else.  How it’s all going to work out is up to God. I am OK with my choices and I am going to finish my MBA.”

Just weeks after her bold declaration, things completely shifted for Dee.  Although her old job is now half the hours it originally was, several new clients have come to her “out of nowhere,” for free-lance bookkeeping jobs — BIG jobs.  One company is headquartered in another state, where she will periodically travel to oversee five employees.  She has even hired a part-time helper to handle some of the work. “I am finally doing what I have always dreamed of,” Dee told me, excitedly.  “I am actually my own boss! Dee Consulting is legit!”

Too old?  Too late?  Not for Dee.  Not for Elsie.  How about YOU?  Why are you still sitting on the couch?  It’s Spring Fever time….Time to go out and pursue your Big Dreams with gusto!

PLEASE NOTE: A Cup of Caroll will be taking Easter Sunday off.  I look forward to connecting with you again on April 3!

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com  or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   

 

“Visualize this thing that you want.  See it, feel it, believe in it.  Make your mental blueprint, and begin to build.” – Robert Collier from the book How Successful People Think


My last blog (Not Too Late – Blog 225) garnered some of the strongest reader responses ever.  I am sure that is because the experience is pretty universal.  We all have Big Dreams we would dearly love to pursue, but the Inner Protector part of our Ego wants to stop us by throwing out a Limiting Belief about why it is futile to try.

That’s because your Inner Protector thinks ALL change is potentially dangerous for you.  Therefore, it tries to convince you stay on the couch, rather than let you risk pursuing a heartfelt dream, no matter how great the potential reward. One of the favorite Limiting Beliefs the Ego uses to dissuade you is that you are “too old” for whatever you want to do. For the vast majority of us, this self-limiting belief is a complete fallacy and it would be a shame if you let it stop you from pursuing your heartfelt dreams.

As evidence, I want to share with you today the first of three inspiring examples from my clients who refused to listen to the “You’re too old” story. They believed in their dreams and steadfastly committed to using the coaching tools I gave them to put the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy) into action to help them achieve their goals.

My first client endured some major changes in the recent past, including her decision to leave her emotionally abusive marriage and move to a new home. While it has been tough, both on her and her grown children, she is determined to emerge from the emotional “cocoon” she has felt trapped in for years and enter the next chapter of her life reborn as who she truly is – a woman with the soul of a beautiful butterfly.

To symbolize her readiness to soar into this milestone birthday year, she chose to compete in one of the top marathons in the USA – the New York City Marathon – this November.  She has run four marathons before, but the most recent was four years ago and her body is now “older” and not in tip-top running shape.  But aside from her age and lack of recent training, she faced an even more daunting hurdle that would have made many people give up before they started: She had to get accepted. She didn’t tell me she would “try” to get in. She committed 100% to running the NYC Marathon this year.

The NYC Marathon accepts 50,000 runners.  A number of those slots are reserved for non-competitive runners who are running to raise money for charities. Most of the competitive runners get in by having a qualifying time that meets the marathon’s standards.  Unfortunately, my client’s most recent marathon time was 12 minutes shy of the cut-off.

So her only remaining option was to enter a lottery that accepts 15,000 runners whose names are selected at random.  The odds of winning one of these slots depend on how many people apply, so nobody knows what the odds are until the drawing happens.

My client did everything I taught her to set The Law of Attraction to work in her favor. You can’t sit on the couch eating bonbons and expect your Big Dream to walk onto the front porch and ring the doorbell.  So, step one toward fulfilling her dream was to make sure she paid the non-refundable fee and entered the lottery before the cut-off.

Next, she knew it was critical to take some concrete ACTION that would demonstrate to God/The Universe and her own subconscious mind – the two greatest allies we have in reaching any goal – her COMMITMENT to winning a place in the marathon. She didn’t wait to find out IF she got in. Instead, she did something NOW that she would do when she really WAS in: She put her feet into ACTION by starting her training program immediately to prepare for the marathon.

To further bolster her belief, she practiced the powerful manifestation technique I described in detail in Blog 224.  She knew that the lottery winners would be notified via email sometime before midnight March 8.  So every day, at least once in the morning and once at night before she went to sleep, she closed her eyes and VISUALIZED opening the email proclaiming “ You are accepted into the NYC Marathon on November 6, 2016.”

There was nothing else my client could do to make her name come up.  She simply did everything she had it in her power to do: 1) BELIEVE in her dream and in herself 2) VISUALIZE her dream as though it was already real, and 3) TAKE COMMITTED ACTION to train for the marathon, because that is what she would be doing after she was accepted.

On March 8, she sent me a screen shot of the email she had just received: “You Have Been Accepted into the 2016 TCS New York City Marathon.”

She found out later from a friend who had also entered the lottery (but wasn’t selected) that there were 80,000 entries for 15,000 slots, putting the odds of her name being drawn at just 18%. But it wouldn’t have mattered to her if it had been one tenth of one percent.  If anyone could do it, she believed that she could.  With a rock-solid belief in herself and her Big Dream, she successfully silenced any Limiting Beliefs expressed internally by her Ego or externally by naysayers suggesting she might be “too old” for this or that it was such a “long shot,” why bother?

Next week, I will share two other inspiring stories from clients who refused to let their age, circumstances or the opinions of others stop them from reaching their Big Dreams in short order.  Stay tuned!

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com  or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   

“When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” – Tuli Kupferberg

From time to time, we all fall into self-defeating mental habits that need to be recognized and broken.  Whether it’s in the area of health, relationship, career or finances, we must periodically question our beliefs to see if we’ve developed an unconscious negative thought pattern that is sabotaging our success.

One common Limiting Belief is some variation of “It’s too late for me”: “I’m too old to go back to school and earn my degree,” “I’m too out of shape to train for a marathon,” “It’s too late to find love at my age.”

None of these beliefs is the Truth. They are just your Ego’s interpretation of events that have happened to you or things others have told you. Out of that limited information, your Ego forms a Limiting Belief  to try to protect you from emotional, mental or physical harm.  If your Ego believes the odds of success for some endeavor you are contemplating are not in your favor, it believes it is doing its job of protecting you from physical harm or personal disappointment by making you afraid to try.  If it FEELS risky to your Ego, you will likely assume the Limiting Belief  it is trying to sell you really IS the truth and throw in the towel before you have even tried.

One of my clients is currently pursuing a Big Goal she wants to reach by the end of March so she can qualify for a special trip with other Leaders in her company.  She ended February half-way to her goal of sponsoring eight active business partners, but that wasn’t where she hoped to be, and she told me honestly that she was feeling disappointed and nervous that she won’t reach her goal in time.

Still, she told me she won’t be “devastated” if she doesn’t reach her Big Goal this month, because her own Sponsor told her that “It’s OK if I don’t make it” in this time frame and win the trip.

I totally agree she should not feel “devastated” if she plays full out and doesn’t get to the finish line this month because that emotion would signal that she is “attached” to this goal, rather than being “committed” to it.  Attachment is when your Ego makes reaching the goal mean something that it really doesn’t mean – such as defining your innate value. If you do your best to reach a goal and miss the mark, it does NOT mean you are “unworthy” or a “failure.”  It may simply indicate that you needed to learn something from the experience that was more valuable than reaching the goal itself.  And it absolutely does NOT mean you won’t ever reach it.

In contrast, when you are committed to a goal, you are completely willing to take ACTION to the best of your ability, without being attached to the timing or delivery method of the final outcome. It means your Higher Self is listening for Divine guidance and not concerned with “being right” or having the “How” show up in a particular way or from a particular individual.  Your Higher Self is willing to give it everything it’s got, without the false “emotional safety” conditions that your Ego looks for before it allows you to take action.

If you are letting your Ego’s attachment to the outcome and fear of failure guide you, it’s very likely you will not take the ACTIONS that are required to reach the goal – because those ACTIONS require commitment and courage.

I suggested to my client that she has almost an entire month left to go to reach her Big Goal, and yet it sounds like she and her Sponsor have already decided that it’s “ too late” for her to succeed. I told her I have witnessed several of my clients in the same network marketing company accomplish exactly what she wants to do in just one month. I asked if she believed it was possible for HER too and she said “Yes!”  Yet, in reviewing her Action Plan for reaching her Big Goal this month, it was apparent that  her Ego has been telling her that it is already “too late,” in order to stop her from taking the very actions that could lead to her success.

On our prior weekly call, she told me about two women she thought could be great at her business and she promised to speak to them – but she didn’t.  I asked her why and she said she knew it was silly but she felt “afraid” to approach these two moms whom she sees daily at her child’s school during drop off and pick up times. Her Ego had planted some nebulous fear that something “bad” would happen to her if she asked them for 15 minutes to discuss her business opportunity and see if either of them was interested.

So we played the “What’s the worst that could happen?” mindset-investigation game.  I asked her that question and she said, “I don’t know.” Then I suggested some really BAD things that they might do to her if she approached them: They could make fun of her in front of the other parents, refuse to speak to her ever again, complain to the authorities that she was harassing them, slap her as she stood in front of the school, etc. etc. etc.  And she began to laugh….Because she saw how ludicrous it was to think that anything truly BAD could actually happen to her. Her rational mind quickly recognized that the REAL worst case scenario she might encounter from approaching these two prospective business partners was likely to be a polite “No thank you.”  I asked her if she were more committed to her Big Goal or to avoiding that possible outcome. She vowed right then to talk to her two Hot Prospects and many others as quickly as possible.

If she follows through on her promise to reach out to as many people as possible with her invitation to talk — without prejudging or fearing their response — she will be demonstrating her commitment to her Big Goal. Because the Law of Attraction says “energy attracts like energy,” it stands to reason that her rock-solid commitment will attract to her the people who are ready to say, ”YES!” right NOW.  She just has to believe that it’s NOT too late. In fact, it’s just the beginning of her ultimate success.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for awhile, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.