September 2017


September 24, 2017

“What’s interesting is that most of us intuitively already know what we should let go of.  The challenge is to take action to end negative patterns, habits, or relationships that are getting in our way.” – found in the book Keep It Simple by Joe Calloway

A surprising number of my coaching clients confess to holding the Limiting Belief “I am not worthy” or “I don’t deserve” success.  I’m not a trained therapist so I don’t know exactly where this belief stems from in each of their pasts, but I have come to believe it’s related to a type of guilt that many people share.

If you have any degree of financial security, good health, loved ones, reliable food and shelter – in short, a good life — the tragic circumstances so many others are suffering under today can make you feel some degree of guilt that you have been spared. When you recognize how much good you have been blessed with, it’s easy to think “Why me?” and feel undeserving.

My job as a Personal Success Coach is pretty straightforward: to help my clients achieve their Big Goals with maximum speed and ease.  That would seem to require just making a good action plan and sticking to it until the race is won. Ah, but there is so much going on between their ears that gets in the way!  What has been coming up lately for some is akin to “Survivor’s Guilt.”

Survivor’s Guilt is a very real, crippling psychological condition that arises in some people who have somehow survived a traumatic incident in which others perished, such as a plane or car crash or war.  Intellectually, survivors recognize that they didn’t cause the horrible circumstance that killed their comrades, and there was nothing they could have done to save them, but they still hold deep guilt about the unanswerable question “Why me? Why did I survive?” It can paralyze them emotionally and ruin the rest of their lives if they cannot get past it.

Given that the daily news feed is filled with non-stop natural disasters and man-made atrocities, I see more clients than ever who are suffering from a lesser but still paralyzing condition I call “Striver’s Guilt.” They feel guilty for pursuing their personal dreams while others are suffering.  Or they feel guilty if they are making faster progress in creating a successful business than other seemingly nice, deserving people who are not having the same degree of success for their efforts. “Why me?” they wonder.

I recently talked with someone during a free coaching session who was suffering from “Striver’s Guilt” that had kept her from taking action on her Big Goals for her network marketing business for several weeks.   She said it felt selfish and petty to call potential customers about buying her company’s products or joining her in the business amidst all the terrible news of people losing everything to hurricanes or earthquakes.

I told her that I completely understand that feeling.  I, too, have been feeling helpless and sad and frustrated lately because it is very hard to see people suffer and not be able to help them, aside from donating to relief organizations.

But I also offered her a chance to view the situation from a different perspective than the Limiting Belief she was holding that “If others are suffering, it’s wrong to pursue my own success and happiness.” 

First and foremost, foregoing pursuing her own personal goals will not help even one other person who is suffering.  If you have personally done something that hurt someone else — intentionally or unintentionally — you should, of course, sincerely apologize and do everything in your power to make it right.

But if you are simply feeling guilty because you cannot do anything directly to rectify their situation, your guilt is not going to alleviate their suffering.  (It’s as illogical as when your parents used to tell you to clean your plate because there are starving children in other countries!)

And if you are succeeding in your business and someone else is falling short in theirs, feeling guilty about your own success is not going to make them successful. You can offer your suggestions and support, but ultimately, it’s up to them to succeed with the same tools you have been given.

When tragedies or social ills are widespread, it can make us feel helpless.  The solution is not guilt, which is a truly useless emotion because it never spurs you to take effective action. Quite the opposite: Guilt paralyzes your creative brain by making you feel hopeless and depressed, which makes you truly useless to help others.

Instead, we can recognize that, even if we can only do a little by ourselves – like donating or volunteering to a cause – that action sets up the right energy to draw others to the cause. And many people united CAN create big results. So, instead of giving off guilty energy, making you and others feel lethargic and hopeless, you can choose to embody “I will do what I can” energy that makes you and everyone who comes in contact with you feel uplifted, hopeful and motivated to create change.

Finally, it is important to know that feelings of guilt or unworthiness are a tool the “Inner Protector” part of your Ego uses to protect you from taking any “risks” it fears will threaten your mental, emotional or physical well-being.  Guilt provides a plausible “reason” for you to stay stuck on the sofa, which your Inner Protector thinks is the safest place for you, rather than out in the world pursuing your goals.

My intelligent free session client quickly grasped that her feelings of guilt that were threatening to derail her Big Goals could not provide one iota of help to any of the earthquake or flood or hurricane victims, but they did risk turning her into a kind of victim too.  Because our beliefs, thoughts and emotions either move us in the direction of our dreams, or hold us back, guilt is NOT going to put the Law of Attraction (which says that “energy attracts like energy”) to work for you, attracting the people, resources and opportunities you need to succeed.

She brightened up considerably when I pointed out that the increased financial abundance that would come from creating a successful business would allow her to contribute MORE to the causes she cares about. And that will make a difference for others, while crying on the sofa and avoiding picking up the phone won’t.

So, the next time you are tempted to ask the heavens the unanswerable question “Why me?” I hope you will instead ask yourself, “Why NOT me?” and “What can I do right NOW to make a difference for myself and others?”  Now, that is a question worth asking!

PLEASE NOTE: The blog is taking next weekend off. Look for a brand new Cup of Caroll on Sunday October 8.

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

 

September 17, 2017

“The moment you speak something – good or bad – you give birth to it as an idea, an expectation, a desire.  You have planted the seed that will, sooner or later, grow into the results you will reap.” – Julie David-Colan and Lee J. Colan

In last week’s blog, I described HOW I got the idea of teaching Jen Sincero’s great new book, You Are a Bad Ass at Making Money, as a summer tele-course to help my clients and their network marketing Teams (and any of my blog readers who were interested, too!) to overcome summer inertia and reach their Big Goals in record time. I shared with you that the first characteristic of a Big How is that it often comes to you out of the blue in a surprising form.

All of my clients were excited about the summer course idea and it also seemed like a perfect How for ME because I needed another income stream to get me through the tough time of year when many of my private coaching clients would “take a break” for a month or two. It was a Big How because it was clearly a Win-Win solution to the summer slump for both my clients and me!

Big How Characteristic #2:  It often starts out as a small idea, but soon, the details start to take shape and then you realize that you must then ACT on them.

UH OH! As I was speaking my summer course idea into existence and getting enthusiastic responses, my clients’ questions made me realize that there were a LOT of details that must be handled efficiently for the course to be ready in a few short weeks. I made a long To-Do list, which turned out to be just the beginning of the Big, Fat Summer Adventure that 52 participants and I were about to embark on.

Fortunately, as Jen Sincero promises, “The Universe will always send you what you need.  It wants you to succeed, to grow and blossom and shine.”

After I set the dates and began promoting “Prosperity Summer Camp” in my weekly blog, The Universe gave me one simple idea that proved to be a HUGE shortcut to success:  I phoned my friend and mentor, Leslie Zann. She is an expert trainer for the direct sales/network marketing industry whose sage advice saved me lots of time and possible mistakes regarding the number of sessions, how much to charge, how to handle the registration and payment details and what platform to use for delivery. But in order to follow Leslie’s wise counsel, I had to face the next characteristic of a Big How.

Big How Characteristic #3: FEAR!  Jen says, “Your role is to keep your mindset strong, open and ready to receive.  And to do a whole lotta stuff you’ve never done before.  Especially stuff that scares the living crap out of you and hurls you outside your comfort zone….When it comes to changing your life, if you’re not scared, you’re doing something wrong.” 

Boy, is Jen right! All of Leslie’s advice seemed fairly easy to follow except one important piece. When I told her that I planned to use my old familiar voice-only tele-seminar format, Leslie exclaimed, “Oh, no! You MUST use Zoom!” Technology, it seems, has advanced a bit since I did my last group course several years ago.  Now, most of my clients use video chatting for their Team gatherings and trainings.

Gulp!  Video conferencing was definitely outside of my wheelhouse. My Big Fears about using Zoom were two-fold:

  • I am used to looking at my notes while I speak on the phone. I asked Leslie how I could do that on video and still maintain eye contact with my audience. “Just put your notes on the desk in front of you,” she assured me. “You can glance down from time to time. No problem.”  I was not wholly convinced that I could pull that off smoothly.
  • But an even bigger concern – OK, FEAR – was that I do not generally find technology to be easy to use. I was worried that Zoom might be too complicated for me to master in a few short weeks. Leslie assured me that Zoom’s tech support is great.  She said I could ask them anything and have them walk me through it.  That turned out to be her BEST advice of all.  A couple of nice young tech reps at Zoom and I are now Besties.

Like most fears that threaten to stop us from allowing the perfect Big How to lead us to a Big Goal, mine turned out to be mere Limiting Beliefs. After a few practice sessions, I mastered all the basic Zoom controls needed to manage and record my presentations. If I had remained in my safe little tele-seminar cocoon, I am sure most of the course participants would have been bored silly.  As it was, even my private coaching clients who took the course said it was great to finally SEE me and assured me that I did fine, both with Zoom AND my eye contact.

Which brings us to the final characteristic of an effective Big How, which I learned while creating and delivering the Prosperity Summer Camp course:

Big How Characteristic #4: It is far BETTER than any answer that we would have come up with ourselves, because it makes us GROW, while getting us to our Big Goal.  The initial tiny spark that began my long journey to spending my entire summer delivering a webinar on the Law of Attraction was my sincere desire to help my clients stay on track pursuing their Big Goals AND an irresistible, burning desire to share with everyone I possibly could Jen Sincero’s amazing book that can teach them how to create the unlimited prosperity and success each of us deserves. And before I knew it, step-by-step, the Big How began to take shape.

If I had let my Limiting Beliefs and fears stop me from using the perfect delivery method that God/The Universe sent me, 52 participants and I would never have gained the invaluable knowledge and had the personal breakthroughs we all experienced.

I asked each participant to email me the outcome of the Big Goal they were trying to manifest by the end of the course.  A number said they were amazed that they actually DID reach their goals – or nearly so — in six short weeks, and that their Big Hows were as surprising and delightful as my own.

Even those who did not reach their Big Goal by August 31 said they were grateful for their major personal breakthroughs – especially in overcoming fears and Limiting Beliefs and giving up their attachment to their OWN limited hows. Yes, Jen, we DID “succeed, grow, blossom and shine!”

As it turned out, the REAL gold in our Big, Fat Summer Adventure together was the growth spurt in our BELIEF. As Jen Sincero says, “Faith is the rocket that you ride into uncharted territory to get to your wildest dreams….You must believe that everything you desire really is available to you and that you possess all the tools, power, and permission to manifest it.” 

Amen, Jen! Amen.

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

 

September 10, 2017

 “Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure.” – Norman Vincent Peal

How was your summer?  I hope it included lots of opportunities to enjoy relaxation, recreation and travel.  I didn’t get much of those myself.  Nevertheless, I can honestly say that 2017 was one of the most emotionally fulfilling, financially rewarding and adventurous summers of my life!

What I did with my summer solved one of the biggest ongoing challenges I have as a self-employed, full-time professional coach: How to keep putting food on the table during the toughest season for my business.

I am sure it never occurs to them, but when some of my long-time, cherished coaching clients choose to take time off for a month or two during the summer, my income goes down.  Way down.  It’s a normal and natural annual cycle that I completely understand and have come to accept.… Yet, as the end of school approaches, my Ego inevitably begins worrying about just how many of my clients will decide to “take a break” and whether the bills will still get comfortably paid and my family will have the financial abundance needed for OUR vacation.

This year, I never got to that point because by mid-May I was off and running on an entirely new summer adventure, one that turned out to be the “How” that I had been seeking – and resisting — for most of my 13 years as a full-time professional coach.   In retrospect, I can see that the perfect answer to my need to find additional income during the summer had all of the hallmarks of any powerful “HOW” that gets you to your Big Goal.

Now, I want to share them with you, so you can learn to spot the characteristics of a divinely-inspired, effective “Big How” that will allow you to fulfill any Big Goal YOU may want to pursue:

Big How Characteristic #1: It often comes to you unexpectedly, in a surprising form, when you aren’t even looking for it. First, a little background: My serious quest for greater summer prosperity actually began last December, as I discussed my upcoming 2017 career and personal goals with my dear friend and long-time mentor, Leslie Zann.

Many of my readers are familiar with Leslie because she is a very successful trainer and motivational speaker for the network marketing/direct sales industry, which also happens to be my own special niche in coaching.  In fact, it was Leslie who introduced me to the first six clients who were all independent consultants in the same network marketing company. Through word of mouth, Leslie’s introduction rapidly snowballed into nearly 200 consultants from that company joining me in private coaching during the past four years, and I could not be more grateful to them or to her!

Leslie gave my summer slump conundrum some thought and said, “You need to find another stream of income outside of private coaching. What about group coaching?”

 I have done many Team Calls for my Leader clients’ teams, to help them understand the Law of Attraction and give them LOA tools to help them reach their business goals. But those talks have just been one-time, free presentations. While I took certification in group coaching when I first became a Life Coach, I believed group work didn’t really suit my style and skills. I felt that I am most effective at helping my clients reach their Big Goals when I am able to get to know them individually over time, and help them overcome their internal blocks as we work together.  So I immediately dismissed the idea of doing group coaching as a potential “How” for my own Big Goal of creating a more steady income during the summer.

Except that God/The Universe and my own subconscious mind didn’t dismiss it.  I believe they were both listening in to my heartfelt desire and immediately began to collaborate on the ideal HOW for me to reach it. But, as is often the case with powerful HOWs, several pieces of the puzzle had to fall into place first.

My Big How began to take concrete shape “out of the blue” (literally), while I was thousands of feet up in the air. During the first week of May, Rick and I were flying toward our long-planned 10th wedding anniversary celebration and I took a book to read on the plane that a handful of my coaching clients had been extolling to me for weeks. Finally, I had the time to read You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero and find out what the heck they were so excited about.

Just a few chapters in, I saw exactly what all the fuss was about!  In her own uniquely funny, irreverent and tell-it-like-it-is style, Jen explained in practical, duplicatable ways, exactly how she and her coaching clients had used The Law of Attraction (energy attracts like energy) to create results that went far beyond what she or they had ever thought was possible and from a wide array of “HOWs” that none of them would ever have guessed.

I devoured the entire book during our plane trip, and took a lot of notes on what I felt were the highlights of her method for putting the Law of Attraction into action to create financial abundance or anything you desire.

On our coaching calls over the next few weeks, I told all of my clients they MUST read this book. I found myself emphatically declaring: “THIS book says exactly what I have been trying to teach my clients all along!  Jen nailed it!  When you read this book, you will understand exactly HOW the Law of Attraction works in real life to create whatever you want, whenever you want!” 

And before I had given it much thought, I also heard myself declaring to each of them, “I am going to do a virtual workshop on this book during the summer.  I know if my clients and their Teams read and understand it, it will make them truly BELIEVE they can reach their Big Goals and help them push through all the distractions of summer so they can take ACTION on them NOW!” 

All of my clients thought it was a great idea!  At that point, it suddenly dawned on me that I had just taken my hazy idea of teaching Jen Sincero’s great book as a summer course and spoken it into existence!  My enthusiasm for promoting a way I saw to help others succeed was now rapidly taking on a life of its own — transforming into a concrete promise that I didn’t feel I could (or wanted to) back out of.

But UH OH! That was when I also suddenly realized there was a very long list of DETAILS that needed to be handled in order for the course to be ready by the summer that was rapidly approaching!

STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK as we explore the rest of the characteristics of a “Big How” – the delivery system that God/the Universe and your own subconscious mind create in partnership to help you reach a Big Goal, even when YOU have no idea how it can possibly happen.

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.