May 19, 2019
Hard to believe, but Memorial Day is just one week away and Summer is almost here! I am very busy preparing for the third annual Prosperity Summer Camp webinar, so I am re-publishing a lightly-edited fan favorite post from two years ago that is as relevant today as it was then. I hope it inspires you to get moving on your Action Plans so that you can have the success you deserve!
April 9, 2017
“If you only did the things you don’t want to do, you’d have everything you want.” – Mel Robbins
What critical tasks are you dragging your feet about doing right now because you just don’t “feel” like it?
I have to be honest, for me today, it’s writing this blog. I love to write, but I have a lot of things I’d rather doing on a beautiful Spring day besides sitting in front of my computer, trying to come up with words that might inspire my readers to be more efficient, successful and fulfilled in their lives.
No matter how much you value keeping your word to yourself and others, I am sure you, too, know exactly what it’s like to want to avoid doing something that you know will benefit you or someone else.
The human Ego much prefers that you sit on the couch, safe and comfy, not doing anything that will challenge the status quo in your life. Pursuing your Big Goals usually requires sustained effort, self-discipline, risk and emotional or physical discomfort.
Of course, Life Coach Mel Robbins is 100% right. Instead of keeping “busy” sharpening pencils, cleaning out the junk drawer, procrastisnacking, re-arranging your lists, perusing (and envying) others’ Facebook posts and binge-watching just ONE more episode of your favorite show – consider where you could be if you had just plunged in and finished the very tasks you DON’T want to do: Make the calls, go to the gym, update your resume and go for the job you really want, apply for a business loan, join an online dating service, call your friend and apologize for the fight you had? What would your life would look like right now?
One of my clients recently made me laugh when she blurted out, “I didn’t read your blog this week. I HATE reading blogs.”
Really? You hate getting tips that can help you succeed? You hate being challenged and inspired? You hate developing yourself as a person? You hate learning how others have overcome the same challenges you are facing? You hate stretching your belief about what is possible for you?
I was tempted to shoot back, “Well, sometimes I hate WRITING the blog!” But that’s not true. I actually love writing – or I would not have put in the thousands of hours of effort over my lifetime to develop that skill.
But do I love being 100% accountable for producing a blog that consumes half of my Saturday three times a month? Heck NO! I would much prefer to be in my backyard right now, stretched out on the chaise lounge with an iced tea and a good book. That would be nice for ME, but what about my readers, who read it and write comments such as, “This is exactly what I needed to hear today.” Or “I felt so relieved to read that – Now I know I’m not alone.” THAT is what keeps me accountable.
Not everything we do is for someone else, of course. Most of the tasks we avoid doing are uncomfortable things we don’t want to do that will bring us what we say WE want.
In her wonderful, tell-it-like-it-is book, Get Over Your Damn Self, direct sales superstar Romi Neustadt admits that even SHE doesn’t want to be accountable for doing the daily activities that have made her a multi-millionaire in a few short years.
According to Romi, “You’ve got to figure out what it is you really want that you don’t already have. Whatever it is, it’s got to be important enough to get you to do something with commitment and consistency. It’s got to be important enough to get you up, to make one more phone call, to reach out to one more person….even when you are bone-ass weary. Because if we want something bad enough in this life, we make it happen. It’s just that simple.”
Here’s Romi’s great method for overcoming the Ego’s preference for avoiding all uncomfortable tasks: At the beginning of her business, she wrote down her WHY for pursuing it in vivid detail, including both the carrot and the stick. She listed all the great things a successful business could produce for her and her family AND all the tragic disappointments that would occur if she DIDN’T succeed.
She kept that piece of paper by her bed and read it first thing every single morning before her feet ever hit the floor. She used it as leverage to make herself get up and do the tasks she didn’t want to do, but knew she MUST do, in order to fulfill her WHY.
Mel Robbins has her own simple, powerful method to counteract the Ego’s preference for safe inertia. She calls it “The 5 Second Rule.” Most of my coaching clients have watched Mel’s short presentation about this.
I share the link to her TEDx talk with you below and urge you to spend 20 important minutes being entertained and confronted with the reality that you have just five seconds to do what you promised yourself to do when the time comes to do it. If you stall longer than five seconds, like a skilled legal litigator, your wily Ego will make a compelling argument for why it would be better to “wait until tomorrow” to carry out your task. Guess what the outcome will be if you listen to that compelling little voice inside your head instead of getting into action right NOW?
That’s right, you will never get your WHY. Instead, you will earn a comfortable seat on the sidelines, watching as others get their WHYs.
So what’s it going to be for YOU? You have five seconds to decide.
Here’s Mel Robbins TEDx talk “Stop Screwing Yourself Over” about the Five Second Rule: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc
PLEASE NOTE: Next Sunday the blog will be taking the day off for Memorial Day Weekend. A Cup of Caroll will return on Sunday, June 2.
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