July 26, 2020

I am deep into managing the many details of launching the New Success Coaching Membership next month, so this is an edited re-posting of a fan-favorite blog from a year ago. It’s right on topic for what the new coaching membership is all about.  I hope you enjoy it (again)!

“Most of your emotions, positive or negative, are determined by how you talk to yourself on a minute-by-minute basis.  It’s not what happens to you, but the way that you interpret the things that are happening to you that determines how you feel.” – from Eat That Frog: 21 Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time

The New Success Coaching Membership is off to a great start!  All the Founding Members are fired up to begin creating a Big Intention (a BIG Goal they are 100% committed to reaching in four months or less).  The focus of the membership’s foundational course is to teach them how to use the Law of Attraction to help them reach those Big Intentions, even though they don’t yet know HOW they will do it.

Some of the tools we will use involve work smarter not harder strategies, but most are about learning to control their own mindset.

The dictionary definition of MINDSET is “an attitude, disposition or mood.”  Synonyms for it include “mental make-up, mental processes, way of thinking, where your head is at.”

If you want to be happy AND successful, you must learn to control your mindset because your mindset conjures up positive or negative emotions that, in turn, trigger the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) to attract people, resources and circumstances that will either HELP or HINDER you in creating what you want.

You may think that whatever happens to you makes you spontaneously FEEL a certain way and there’s nothing you can do about it. Fortunately, that is far from the case! Outer circumstances do not have the power to make us FEEL any particular way.  You have the power to consciously CHOOSE how you “feel” and how you will respond to what happens to you.

It all starts with how you choose to interpret what happens to you and the MEANING you choose to give it.  That is your mindset in daily action.

Here are four main areas in which your mindset can greatly affect your EMOTIONS, which in turn, will set the Law of Attraction in motion to either move you forward or hold you back from reaching your goals:

  • Negative Interpretations of what others’ words and actions mean about you

A friend told me that she has been waking up every morning in a foul mood lately.  She didn’t seem to know exactly why, so I asked her to consider what thoughts she was having that could be triggering her negative emotions.  She answered candidly that, as a teacher, she was disheartened that, as the final weeks of school wound down, most of her class seemed bored and mentally checked out.  She interpreted her students’ mood and behavior as a reflection of HER teaching skills.  She was telling herself, “If I were a better teacher, they would be more engaged and eager to learn.”

As soon as she said it, she recognized the fallacy of her chosen interpretation!  She admitted that she and her students are ALL tired after a long semester, and that the subject she teaches is not one that most students would choose to study unless they needed it to graduate. In fact, when she was in school, it probably never crossed her mind that she herself would end up in that field!

Just shifting her interpretation of how and why other people were behaving a certain way elevated her mood, and she decided to focus her attention on the students who WERE engaged and DID appreciate her efforts to make the class interesting and helpful.

As my friend and mentor Leslie Zann often says, “You are making it all up anyway, so why not make up something GOOD?” 

  • Comparing yourself to others’ achievements

We all know better, but our Egos seem to be hard-wired to do this. You must consciously stop yourself from doing it because it has a demoralizing impact on your energy and prevents the Law of Attraction from attracting what you WANT.

Moreover, your self-comparison is likely not valid anyway, because you are comparing apples to oranges.  Anyone who seems to be doing better or going faster than you does not have the identical circumstances or background you have: They grew up with a different family dynamic, have a different education, training and/or experience, different friends and connections, and a different personality and perhaps a different mindset! You have nothing in common with them, except perhaps the length of time you have been after a similar goal.  So forget about competing and concentrate on running your OWN race and making the most of YOUR unique skills, abilities, qualities and mindset.

  • Berating yourself (or others) for past mistakes

The most useless human emotion is guilt.  To be human is to make mistakes and have regrets. But you cannot change the past, no matter how much you wish you could. All you can do is to be honest and take full responsibility for your own mess-ups, especially those that affect others.  Sincerely and humbly apologize to anyone you have harmed by your words, actions or inactions.  Make amends if you possibly can. But even if they don’t forgive you, you must forgive yourself and move on.

Staying stuck in the past inside your own head prevents you from taking the positive actions that can help yourself and others today and tomorrow. Learn from your mistakes and leave the negative emotions behind.

The second most useless emotion is resentment. If you want to be forgiven, you must be able to forgive others.  That doesn’t mean you condone their actions, but you have to forgive them for your own sake. If you harbor resentment, anger or thirst for revenge, those negative feelings are only going to hurt YOU, because the Law of Attraction must inevitably attract to you even more circumstances to resent.

  • Worrying about the future

Worry is another unhelpful and destructive mindset.  Any time your mind spends focused on the “worst case scenario” that your Ego fears might happen is wasted time that could have been used to create the outcome you DO want.  You can’t hold two separate thoughts in your mind at the same time.  When you find yourself worrying about a possible negative outcome (which let’s face it, 99 percent of the time never happens anyway), simply turn your thoughts to focusing on what you DO want, and you will be sending your powerful energy in the RIGHT direction for the Law of Attraction to help you get it.

As positive-thought pastor Joel Osteen says, Pay attention to what is playing in your mind. When you dwell on negative thoughts, you’re not going to have peace.  You have to change what you’re dwelling on.  So when the opportunity to worry comes, use it as a reminder to …. thank [God/The Universe] for His good!”

If you want to FEEL consistently great and create all the SUCCESS you dream of, you must start right now to monitor your mindset closely. You have the power to think thoughts that are going to create positive emotions in you, which will then cause the Law of Attraction to help you reach your Big Goals in record time!

PLEASE NOTE: To give me time to launch the new membership course, the blog will be taking the next two weeks off.  Look for your next fresh Cup of Caroll on Sunday August 16. 

If you or your friends would like your own F*R*E*E* subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to https://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.

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To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* hour of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com today.