Adversity


April 14, 2019

“Change is unavoidable.  Change sometimes feels uncomfortable, at least at first.  Change is often messy.  Change takes time, patience and commitment.  Change requires planning, perspective and an investment of time and energy.  Change opens the door to valuable new possibilities, discoveries and adventures.” – From the book Getting Unstuck: 10 Simple Secrets to Embracing Change and Celebrating Your Life.

From time to time, I like to share the advice and wisdom of other coaches and Master Manifesters with my readers.  One is my former personal trainer, Rose Zahn, who owns the Healthy Habits workout studio in Sacramento, California, where I lived in the 1990’s. Rose helped me get into great shape, both physically, mentally and spiritually. In a recent blog, she shared the unvarnished truth about the mindset you must adopt in order to reach ANY Big Goal:

“We are living in a have-it-all, have-it-now world. Access to anything you desire is literally a key stroke away.

There’s one-click ordering. There’s food delivery in 30 minutes or less. There’s credit available with the swipe of a card.

More so than any time in history, we have forgotten the art of sacrifice.

Can you blame us? Mainstream marketing tells us hundreds of times each day that we should have it all, and that we should have it right now.

The problem with this have-it-all-right-now mindset is that real accomplishments require sacrifice and delayed gratification. And these real accomplishments are where true satisfaction is found.

Think about it for a moment. When was the last time that you felt proud of something that you’ve done? I doubt that it was for the shoe purchase that you just one-click ordered online 🙂 More likely it was for a big project that you tackled at work, or a meal that you cooked for your family, or an 5K (or marathon!) that you worked hard for and finished.

Those proud moments have one thing in common: they all required sacrifice and delayed gratification. You gave up your time, you invested your attention and efforts, you put in the miles and the effort for a considerable period of time…

And then you achieved your goal and experienced that sweet satisfaction.

Learning how to sacrifice and delay gratification, rather than getting something right now, is a skill set. This skill set can grow as you use it more often. Just like a muscle that becomes stronger under resistance, your ability to sacrifice your immediate needs in favor of a larger accomplishment will improve the more you use it.

Sacrifice and delayed gratification are the name of the game when it comes to getting into great shape. Get comfortable with sacrifice and you’ll achieve any goal.

I know that’s not what any of us want to hear. We’d prefer the one-click-to-dream-body button over months of a controlled diet plan and challenging workouts. But by embracing and enhancing your ability to sacrifice you’ll gain traction on all of your big life goals, including getting that dream body.

I’m here to help you achieve your fitness goals. Yes, it’s going to require that you put in hard work and sacrifice, and I’ll be there with you every step of the way. Call or email me today to get started.”

Rose Zahn www.healthyhabitsstudio.com

I am working on my own personal fitness goal right now, and I can admit that delaying the gratification of yummy foods and adult beverages is the hardest part for me.  But I know that it will be SO worth it when I am looking good in my swimsuit this summer!  And more importantly, I will feel great about myself because I know that I worked for it and proved to myself that I had the willpower to stick to it until I reached my Big Goal.

I hope you are working on your own Big Goal right now, and that you will “embrace and enhance your ability to sacrifice” so you can have the unparalleled satisfaction of achieving it, however long it takes.

PLEASE NOTE: The blog is taking next weekend off for Easter Sunday.  Look for your next Cup of Caroll on Sunday, April 28

If you would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to my website http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give yourself, a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can gift this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (Feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com

  

April 7, 2019

“The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.” – Jim Carrey

A few weeks ago, I wrote about adopting our newest four-footed family member, Cagney.  After our beloved little rescue Chihuahua, Diamond, died unexpectedly in February, we knew immediately that we wanted to provide a home for another deserving rescue and Cagney came to us quickly and easily through the Nextdoor neighborhood website.

Cagney had a neglectful owner who kept him chained on a backyard patio for about two years, with only a lawnmower grass-catcher for a bed.  Eventually, his rescuer Sue was able to get custody of him and her friend Atissa took on the task of acclimating him to indoor life and finding him a good home, as these two wonderful women have done for many other dogs.

My husband Rick and I fell in love with Cagney at first meeting and the feeling was mutual.  He is adorable and loving and cuddly.  We are amazed at his loving, playful disposition, given that he had so little contact with people or other animals for most of his young life.  (Our vet estimates his age as 2-3 years old.)

He’s a smart little guy – part Border Collie and part Dachshund, from the looks of him — and Atissa was able to housebreak him and teach him to sit on command in a short time.  But soon after we took him into our home, we realized that his manners still needed “polishing” in a few areas.  He’s young and energetic and needs a lot of exercise and attention.  No problem.  Rick and I both work from home and he gets a lot of affection and attention from both of us all day.

The exercise part was a little trickier because he was not fully acclimated to walking on a leash.  I started walking him each morning with a harness, but soon found two major problems with that. He is small but very strong, and he would strain on the leash to go faster, dragging me along behind him.  And, more importantly, he is skittish around strangers and other dogs.  Whenever he sees another human of any age, he barks ferociously, and when he sees another dog – even at a distance – he barks, growls and snarls like a deranged hound from hell.

It was humiliating to have Cagney snarling at my neighbors and all the other placid, well-behaved dogs walking around us.  So we decided to get expert help on the proper way to train him, and hired a great trainer who came highly recommended on the same website where we originally found Cagney.

Dr. Eric Liss (chiropractor by day, dog whisperer by night) gave us just one hour of expert training and Cagney became a new dog.  It seemed like magic to us, but to Dr. Eric, it was simple: Understand how a dog thinks and then approach him with tools and techniques that make sense to HIM.  (As my BFF Lisa likes to say, “Dogs are not people in fur suits.”)

I want to share with you now the three lessons I learned from Dr. Eric’s simple and effective training techniques that can be applied to ANY goal you want to achieve or ANY challenge you must overcome:

LESSON ONE: Most of our fears are unfounded. This is really Cagney’s lesson. Without normal early socialization with other dogs or daily interactions with people who loved on him, Cagney probably came to view strangers and other dogs as threats.  He’s not really mean at all — just scared. He masks his fear by being loud and ferocious-sounding, hoping his bluff will scare them off.  But they aren’t really threats.  His fears are unfounded.

Isn’t this true of most of our fears when we pursue a Big Goal or face a challenge?  We immediately imagine a Worst Case Scenario outcome (failure, overwhelm, public humiliation, disappointed loved ones, etc. etc. etc.) and paint it in vivid detail in our imagination.  We get ourselves all worked up over something that almost never comes to pass or, if it does, turns out to be a lot less dire than our imagination cooked up.  We waste time and energy “barking” at nothing.

The mind (canine or human) can only hold one thought at a time.  Dr. Eric showed us how to redirect Cagney from focusing on the perceived threat, enabling him to calm down very quickly.  Now, when we encounter another person or dog on our walks, I know how to calmly reassure him and re-focus him to move on, and he is soon happily sniffing the bushes once again. You can also break the fear cycle by re-focusing your thoughts on the outcome you WANT, instead of imagining what you DON’T want.

LESSON TWO: Use the right tools. The harness was not the right equipment for Cagney’s walks. He was able to pull against the leash as hard as he could without discomfort, and there was nothing I could do to redirect him from barking at dogs and people. Dr. Eric brought a small prong collar for Cagney, which I had always imagined was a sharp, cruel instrument of torture.  But when I saw it up close, I realized the prongs are not sharp at all and it won’t choke him.  If he pulls against the chain with any force, it’s going to make him uncomfortable, but it’s not going to hurt him.  With a prong collar, it’s easy to redirect him with a light flick of the leash, instead of trying to pull against the cloth harness with all my might, which only gets him more agitated.

Whenever we pursue a goal, or face a challenge, we must use the right tools.  Sometimes they are obvious to us, but we avoid them because they make us emotionally “uncomfortable.” Many of my network marketing clients admit they have a “phone phobia” of speaking to a prospective customer or business partner.  They feel more comfortable texting.  And their prospect is also very comfortable ignoring their texts, just the way Cagney ignored me pulling on the harness.

But when they pick up the phone and CALL, even if they end up leaving a voice mail, my clients are always amazed at how quickly most people respond.  That’s because your energy is transmitted through your voice much more effectively than through flat words on a screen.  There’s no warm, friendly and inviting tone conveyed in a text.

So if you find that you are avoiding whatever tools you know you need to get the job done, ask yourself if you are really COMMITTED to reaching your goal.  If you are, you will find that a small amount of discomfort is worth it, if it leads to a great amount of success and pleasure.  Cagney’s walks are now a pleasure for both of us, thanks to one simple tool and knowing how to use it properly.

LESSON THREE: Energy is everything. This is the biggest lesson I got from Dr. Eric’s instructions. Whenever I panicked and tried to correct Cagney by yelling “NO!” it only escalated his anxiety and got us both more upset.  Rick and I learned that dogs don’t really understand words like “sit” and “stay.”  They respond to the tone and body language we use when we give those commands. Dogs are masterful at reading our energy and responding to it.  My own self-conscious anxiety over “What will the neighbors think of his behavior?” was actually getting him more worked up and causing more bad behavior.  Once I learned to relax, give a light flick of his chain, use a reassuring tone with “It’s OK,” and walk on, Cagney soon stopped barking, forgot about the “threat” that wasn’t real and followed my lead.

Humans are biological creatures too, and we respond to subtle energy cues from other people, just as dogs do.  The energy you bring to an interaction is going to have a big impact on the other person’s response.  As the Law of Attraction states, energy attracts like energy.”  You can decide what energy you want to embody and then direct your subconscious mind to put it into action by stating aloud to yourself how YOU want to show up in the situation. For example, “I am calm.  I am relaxed.  I am in control.” The positive energy you consciously choose to embody will affect the other people you are interacting with. Positive energy is stronger than negative energy, so when I decided to feel confident, adopt a cheerful, reassuring tone of voice and take control of my physical manner, Cagney’s negative energy quickly dissipated and reflected my own calm.  

There you have it!  It’s not rocket science, as Dr. Eric can attest.  You can make any Big Goal a reality or overcome any problem situation, if you will remember these three basic principles and put them into play….Did someone say “PLAY”?!  Cagney’s got a ball in his mouth right now. Guess we gotta go play!

If you would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to my website http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can gift this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals for the New Year and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com to schedule their session.  

 

 

March 10, 2019

“The greatest victory is the victory over ourselves.  Remember, it’s always too soon to quit.” – Gary Mack

Thank you, cherished readers, for the outpouring of good wishes for our new furry BFF, Cagney!  He’s full of enthusiasm and boundless love every minute of every day. Rick and I are now full of joy after the grief we felt over losing our precious little Diamond.  There’s nothing like having a goal bigger than yourself to pull you out of a pity party!

We both believed in our hearts that there was another deserving rescue pup somewhere close by that needed us and would be a perfect fit for our household.  Our BELIEF shifted our focus off of our grief and onto the goal of finding him or her.  That’s what attracted the amazingly easy “How” to us – me unexpectedly running across his adorable picture and a “good home needed” message posted on our local Nextdoor website.

Whenever you are tempted to give up on your Big Goal because you can’t figure out HOW you are going to get it, remember that the HOW is not up to you.  It’s your job to ask for what you want, clearly and specifically, and then allow God/The Universe to connect you to it via the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy.”)  It is your energy – your thoughts plus your positive emotions — of excitement, expectation, gratitude in advance, and unshakable belief that you WILL reach your Big Goal that sets the Law of Attraction in motion to connect you to your desire in ways that your limited human Ego could never imagine.

When the deadline is looming, the path forward isn’t obvious and you feel discouraged or afraid, the Inner Protector part of your Ego will often urge you to quit your quest NOW, because it can’t see the HOW and it doesn’t want you to be disappointed or ostracized for your “folly” of pursuing an “impossible” goal.  That’s exactly when you must NOT give up.

One of my clients faced just such a daunting challenge at the end of last month and thank goodness, she decided not to quit too soon!  Her Team of hundreds of independent consultants had put in a valiant effort the prior month and succeed in reaching a sales volume that placed them in the upper eschelon of their direct sales company.  It was very important to her and to them to maintain that level for four months because being among the elite Teams in the company came with perks and support that would help each Team member build their individual success faster.

February being a short month presented an extra challenge, but her Team’s sales had been strong through most of it and she was hopeful they would continue to surge until the end, especially with a great new product being introduced that could give them an extra boost.

But after an encouraging bump on the day the new product went on sale, her Team’s volume just seemed to peter out during the final week. When she and I had our coaching call on the afternoon of the last day of the month, their volume was $25,000 SHORT of what they needed to continue month two of their desired status. That amount seemed pretty daunting, even to me.  Still, if every member of her Team got on it right away and pushed a little harder, we both knew it WAS possible.

In terms of employing the “low hanging fruit” strategy, everything I asked her if she had tried, she had already done.  She knew that she must now reach out to the Leaders on her Team and ask them to encourage their Team members to put in extraordinary effort to make it happen in just a few short hours.  She was skeptical that her Leaders would rally their Teams for this goal, even though they all had been so excited to reach it the month before.  Their initial enthusiasm wasn’t sustaining itself, and she felt discouraged and exhausted.  Her Inner Protector was urging her to throw in the towel NOW.

I coached her that if she believed that she had truly done everything she could by leading from the front, then she could be at peace with whatever happened. But if she wanted to keep going until the clock struck midnight, she should go for it with everything she had and not hold anything back.

Giving her permission to continue to pursue her Big Goal, even though her Inner Protector was telling her there was no possibility of success seemed to spur her on.  She is a tenacious Leader and something inside her was not ready to give in, no matter how long the odds.

That evening, I checked in with her via text and to my amazement and delight, her Team had rallied and were ALL going for it with everything they had!  When the company’s website could not keep up with the high volume of orders being placed at one time, the corporate office agreed to honor any legitimate orders placed the next day that had been kicked out by their system the night before. A true Divine Intervention!

Me: “Great job!  Leave it up to the Universe.  No panicking or attachment.”

Her: “Submitted what I have so far that brings us over the total…praying that we will have a quick answer.”

Me: “Yessss!  You Rock!  Amazing every single time!”

Her: “Our conversation was what I needed.  Telling you that I felt bad giving in or giving up made me decide to go for it.  I cried that morning before our call…had a pity party!  But picked myself up and decided that I am better than wallowing and that I should ASK for what I want from my Team and my customers.  Praying it works out.”

Me: “I believe it will…but no matter what, you can never lose by playing FULL OUT.  You can hold your head high and know you were the Leader you want to be.”

The next update I got from her after the corporate office had finished manually sorting out all their sales orders was that her Team’s sales volume was $6,000 MORE than they needed to hit the second month of their four-month goal.

She texted: “We got it. Thankful for you and your support.  When I told you I felt I could not give up and you said, ‘Then don’t’ it gave me permission to go for it.”

We ALL need to give ourselves permission to go for our Big Goals with everything we’ve got. Even when your Inner Protector is scared of failure, or others tell you it’s impossible, always remember: “The greatest victory is the victory over ourselves….It’s ALWAYS too soon to quit!”

If you would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to my website http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can gift this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals for the New Year and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com to schedule their session.  

 

March 3, 2019

“What is meant to be will always find a way.” —  Trisha Yearwood

Normally, I write my blogs on Saturday and publish them the next day. But for the last blog (Convenience is Overrated – Blog 330), I wrote it a week in advance, over Presidents Day Weekend. It had been a very tough week emotionally, and trying to inspire others was not something I particularly wanted to be doing.  But I did it anyway because I had a greater purpose in mind.

Now that purpose has been fulfilled in a more wonderful way than I ever could have imagined.

As I detailed in that blog, our sweet little Chihuahua was in pain and there was little hope of recovery for her tiny 9 year old heart. We had to do the right thing, although it broke our own hearts, and we had her put to sleep on February 13.

Diamond originally came to us very unexpectedly, a few weeks after our previous canine BFF, Samantha, had died at age 16.  I felt so sad after losing Samantha, I didn’t think I could ever own a dog again, knowing we would only have it to love for a limited time.  So I decided to provide foster care for a dog, while it waited for its forever home.  But Diamond had other ideas. She and I fell hard for each other, and Rick and I became her forever parents overnight.

That was just two years and three months ago.  This time, after losing Diamond, I still grieved, but she had taught me that loving a four footed friend is not about what you hope to get, but about what you want to GIVE.  It was my desire to give unconditional love and support to that tiny living being that set the Divine HOW in motion that brought us together, and healed both my grieving heart and the neglect she had suffered in her life up to then.  I used to whisper to her, “No matter how long you are with us, you will always know you are loved.”

So this time around, I knew I didn’t want to wait weeks before finding another dog to give unconditional love to.  Rick and I planned to go the very next weekend to an adoption fair put on by The Little Red Dog, a wonderful grassroots canine rescue organization in our town that I had “accidentally” found while surfing the web, looking for a dog to foster.  They gave us Diamond, and I knew they had a large number of other deserving pups who were ready for forever homes, too.  Nothing would have pleased Diamond more than to have us pay her love forward.

In my 15 years as a Personal Success Coach, I have taught over 750 clients to use the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) to help them reach their Big Goals with greater speed and ease than they might imagine possible. And I know from all of their experiences and my own that our human Egos rarely come up with the ultimate HOW.  God/The Universe does.

We are not responsible for knowing in advance HOW we will be able to fulfill our heartfelt desires.  All that is required of us is to be CLEAR about what we want and be willing to throw our heart over the wall and go for it with everything we’ve got.  We just have to ASK for it clearly and specifically, and then BELIEVE it is going to happen, without attachment to the way we think it could or should come to us.

You do have to have some starter plan of your own, and you do have to take ACTION on it. That’s how you demonstrate your COMMITMENT to your stated desire.  Once God/The Universe and your own subconscious mind see you taking ACTION on your goal, they know you really want it and will step in and lead you to it, often with a HOW that is very different than what your Ego had in mind.

I demonstrated my commitment to giving a new deserving canine companion a good home by planning to go to The Little Red Dog’s adoption fair the following Saturday. The way I showed God/The Universe and my own subconscious mind that I really meant business was by writing the blog a week in advance, leaving me free the next Saturday to bring home a new furry BFF. But, as usually happens, the Divine Plan turned out to be MUCH better than my own plan.

While scrolling through my emails that week, I spotted one from Nextdoor, the local area website where neighbors connect to give each other advice on service providers, post their lost dog and cat pictures, warn each other about car break ins in the neighborhood, etc.  I rarely stop to read it, but that day, a post titled “Foster Dog Available” caught my eye. There was a picture of the cutest little black and tan, long haired, shepherd-mix young male dog.  Cagney looked very happy and enthusiastic, after being rescued from a neglectful owner who had kept him chained alone on a patio for two years with a lawnmower cover for a bed.

I immediately began messaging with Sue, who had taken charge of finding Cagney a new home. He was being fostered at the home of her friend, Atissa, a Dog Whisperer if ever there was one, who took him in and helped him acclimate to indoor family life, despite having a number of pets to care for herself. Wanting to find him the perfect home that he deserved, Sue and Atissa were in the process of checking out several other potential adoptive parents when I responded to the post.

So our “free” Saturday went very differently than I had envisioned.  Cagney came for a visit to see if he liked us and our digs, and his dedicated foster moms checked us out carefully, as well.  When Rick sat cross-legged on the floor, Cagney immediately crawled into his lap, looked up at him adoringly, and licked his face.  Love at first sight once again!

We decided to carry out our “Plan B” and go to the dog adoption event, because Cagney still had a couple of other homes to check out. We understood and wanted him to get the BEST home he possibly could, even if it wasn’t ours. But we didn’t feel a strong connection to any of the wonderful dogs at the event and in our hearts, we believed he was meant to be ours.

And he was.  On Sunday, Sue and Atissa brought him back with all his food and toys and he settled in very quickly.  I was a bit worried that he would pine for Atissa, and he did go to the front door a few times. But we lavished him with love and treats, I took him on a brisk walk, and before the night was over, the three of us were snuggled on the couch together watching the Oscars as family.

So, what’s your takeaway from our story? The manifestation formula for making any dream a reality using the Law of Attraction is simple:  ASK.  BELIEVE.  RECEIVE.

God/The Universe will provide the perfect HOW, if only you will just TRUST that process.  If you can get your Ego to surrender trying to control the details, everything will fall into place in the perfect way and the perfect time.  Everyone involved in the situation will be served and satisfied, not just you.

What is meant to be WILL always be.  Never doubt it.

If you would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to my website http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals for the New Year and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com to schedule their session.  

Your Inspiring Kindness – Blog 322

December 2, 2018

This is one of the favorite blogs I get to write all year long!  I hope it will be just the first, as more and more of my cherished readers share what they have done to make others’ lives a little lighter and brighter during the Holidays. 

If you didn’t read my last post (Time to Pay Up – Blog 321), it kicked off the annual Pay It Forward Challenge that I began several years ago.  From Thanksgiving through the end of the year, I invite my wonderful readers to join me in spreading some “comfort and joy” wherever we are, as a way of putting our gratitude into ACTION by making an extra effort to be kind and generous toward our fellow human beings.

Not only does paying it forward make you feel good, but it’s also a proven way to put the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) to work for YOU.  Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret and The Power, asserts that gratitude is the most powerful positive emotion we can feel to attract MORE good things to us.  And nothing can make us feel as grateful for the many blessings and privileges of our lives than doing something good for someone else. 

Spreading kindness doesn’t have to be a big gesture.  I got the idea for the PIF Challenge several years ago when someone ahead of me in line at Starbucks paid for my drink.  When I approached him to thank him, he just smiled and said, “I trust you will pay it forward.”  And I did just that for the rest of the Holidays by buying multiple packs of $5 Starbucks gift cards and giving one every time I visited to the baristas at the counter, asking them to bestow it on any customer at random, after I left the store. (Anonymous gestures of kindness and generosity are the MOST fun of all!)

At the end of the last blog, I asked you to email me YOUR gestures of Paying it Forward so I could share them with other readers, in hopes of inspiring even MORE random acts of kindness and generosity among us.  I also have been collecting some wonderful ones from my favorite online POSITIVE news blog, called GoodNewsNetwork.org. Here are some of my favorites so far:

In the News

  • At a Walmart in Vermont, an anonymous man secretly paid for every single item on layaway. Walmart was not allowed to disclose how much money the man spent or how many people he helped that day, but judging by the number of gifts that were stacked on the store’s layaway shelves, it was a lot. When asked who could afford to pay for so many items, the man simply said: “Santa Claus can.”
  • A team of nurses pooled their money and purchased a winning lottery ticket that paid them $7,200 after taxes. But instead of divvying up the cash, the group decided to give all of the winnings to two nurses going through heartbreak: One has been grieving the loss of her 17-year-old son after he committed suicide on the night of the lotto drawing. The check that she received from her co-workers ended up paying for his funeral. The second check they donated went to a nurse who has been struggling to make ends meet since her husband was diagnosed with cancer earlier in the year. “When I got that phone call [about the lottery winnings], it was a day I was wondering how we were going to pay for certain medications,” she said. “It just touches your heart.”
  • A compassionate airline passenger ensured that a 20-year-old man was reunited with his lost wallet – along with a little extra something to make up for their time apart. Hunter Shamatt lost his wallet on the way to attend his sister’s wedding in Las Vegas. Since the wallet contained his ID, a signed paycheck, his debit card, and $60 in cash, he “feared the worst”. Shortly after the flight, however, Hunter was stunned to receive a package in the mail from an anonymous sender. Inside was his wallet – along with an additional $40 in cash. There was a note enclosed that read, “Found this on a Frontier flight from Omaha to Denver-row 12, seat F wedged between the seat and wall and thought you might want it back. All the best. PS: I rounded your cash up to an even $100 so you could celebrate getting your wallet back. Have fun!!!”

But, of course, my favorite PIF stories of thoughtfulness and generosity have come from my readers.  Here are a few that I have received so far from you:

  • After I sent a young friend who is working hard at two jobs a surprise check, he soon texted me this message: “Pay it Forward Challenge accepted! I used part of the money to buy coffee.  On my way out, I saw a couple with car problems and called them a tow using my Auto Club membership card.”
  • One of my clients and her two young daughters bought a big load of supplies at Target and stuffed 20 little gift bags with all the necessities of life like toothpaste, soap, nutrition bars, hand warmers and other goodies.  They keep them I the car and whenever they spot a homeless person, the girls jump out and surprise them with a “Blessing Bag.”
  • In the Starbucks drive through, a reader was delighted to learn that the person ahead of her had already paid for her order. The barista told her that there had been an unbroken streak of 33 customers that morning, all paying for the order in the car behind them. Naturally, my reader kept the kindness streak going herself!
  • After spending the week before Thanksgiving volunteering at a local food bank,assembling food in boxes for underprivileged families to have for their holiday meals, one of my readers asked her son, who was home on break from his first semester of college, what he wanted to do for Thanksgiving dinner.  He requested that they dine at an upscale restaurant with his father.  Although she and her ex-husband had a contentious divorce and often didn’t see eye to eye about raising their son, she agreed.  The three of them ended up having a pleasant holiday meal together — their first since their son’s childhood. 
  • Lots of my readers and I participated in some of the many Giving Tuesday opportunities to contribute to our favorite charities.  By giving through PayPal and Facebook, our donations were often doubled by generous matching donors.
  • A client went a step further by starting her own Giving Tuesday fundraiser on Facebook so that the Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary could have the benefit of doubled donations. She wrote, “They provide care and love for elderly dogs that are without a home…. Senior dogs are more likely to be euthanized in the shelter system and less likely to be adopted.  This breaks my heart.  I have a soft spot for all animals, and especially dogs.”  Way to do something that makes a difference for them!
  • A reader’s family sponsored her town’s local “Little Free Pantry” – an alternative to big food drives and pantries (which are also wonderful, of course).  Volunteers take turns stocking the cabinet, which is built in the shape of a little house and placed in front of the town’s Safety Office.  Anyone in need can come and discreetly withdraw any food items they want out of the little pantry.
  • One of my readers who is a new mom, and thus sleep deprived, posted on Facebook, “Where are all my tired moms?” To every mom who responded, she sent a surprise $5 Starbucks gift card.  One delighted recipient messaged her, “It’s the nicest thing another mom has ever done for me!”
  • One of my clients has participated in her town’s annual “Shop with a Cop” event for the past 13 years.  The Sheriff’s Office, where her husband is a deputy, underwrites the whole thing – taking underprivileged kids to shop for Christmas gifts with the help of “Santa and Mrs. Claus.” These kids ordinarily would not have the funds to buy presents for their own families, but the peace officers and their spouses help them pick out whatever they want for their parents and siblings, then wrap up their gifts and bus them back home.
  • My own spontaneous Pay it Forward act was to send a little gift to one of my dearest girlfriends (since 6th grade), which arrived the day after Thanksgiving.  I was a little annoyed with myself for not thinking of it soon enough to get there before the holiday–  until I got this text from her: “What an amazing gift for ‘nothing in particular’!  I opened it at the perfect time.  I had a wonderful Thanksgiving,but was going through a bit of a rough patch upon arriving home.  Thank you!”

I hope these stories will inspire you to take your own ACTION! Rest assured that whatever big or small acts of kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness — or just a big beaming smile — you bestow on someone over these coming weeks, it will arrive at the perfect time for them! That’s the Law of Attraction in ACTION – putting your gratitude to work making a difference for others!

P.S. If you haven’t yet done so, please email me your own wonderful PIF Challenge story and I will post one more inspiring compilation before Christmas. 

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E*HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

October 28, 2018

“I have come to realize that to truly experience freedom, happiness, love and peace of mind, I must find stability within, at the core of my being – centered in my true identity.” – Rev. Elizabeth Longo

I often find the theme for the blog from a trend I notice among my clients during our coaching the prior week.  This whole month, many of them have complained of being “in a funk” — feeling uninspired and unmotivated to pursue their goals.  They often aren’t sure why, but I have some ideas.

Some of them have been working their little hearts out since their network marketing company’s convention last month, and I suspect they are simply mentally and physically depleted. Others feel discouraged that they haven’t seen the results they thought they would have at this point. More have been affected by personal challenges such as their own or a loved one’s illness, drawn-out home renovation projects or lack of time to take care of their own well-being.  Still others (my friends and I included) are feeling sick and tired of the pervasive, personalized rancor that seems to be engulfing much of our country in the weeks before the mid-term election.

If you are experiencing your own Fall Funk, it is critical that you snap out of it ASAP — not only for your own physical, mental and emotional well-being, but because the Law of Attraction dictates that YOUR energetic vibration (your thoughts plus your emotions) will attract similar energy. If you want to attract positive people and circumstances into your life, YOU must feel positive yourself.

So how can you pull yourself out of a bad case of the blahs?   Here are some suggestions that have worked for me:

  • Be grateful. Whatever trials and tribulations you face at this moment, you must admit that there are far more blessings than problems in your life.  If you want to instantly shift into a more positive mindset, try listing 25 things that you are grateful for in your life right NOW. Better yet, make it a habit to list 10 things that you are grateful for each day in a Gratitude Journal.  All those positives will put the few negatives in perspective.
  • Help someone else. Nothing gets us out of a personal pity party quicker than helping someone else. Look around for someone who needs a little help or just a smile and non-judgmental ear.  One of my great personal blessings about being a Personal Success Coach is that I never have time to wallow in my own stuff for long because I must focus on my clients’ needs. At the end of each day, I feel tired but very happy, fulfilled and uplifted, knowing I made a difference for them.  We can all make a difference for someone else each day and it feels amazing.
  • Take care of your own well-being first. We can’t afford to ignore our own daily need for food, rest, water, exercise and relaxation.  If you attempt to take care of everyone else and neglect yourself, you will soon feel exhausted and depleted, which won’t help those who depend on you either.  So schedule time for your own needs every day.  It’s not selfish; it’s essential.
  • Take a mental and physical break.  Regularly engage in activities that light you up —  reading a novel in the hammock, watching a good movie, getting a massage, playing with your kids or visiting the dog park, enjoying retail therapy. Whatever you love to do, make time for it on a regular basis.  I am a big fan of taking ONE FULL DAY off each week to totally unplug from your business and other responsibilities.  Last weekend, my wonderful husband Rick and I drove 90 minutes to our local mountains, where there are numerous apple orchards and fall festivals.  We thoroughly enjoyed the apple treats, crisp fall air and beautiful colored leaves.  It felt a world away from our suburban routine, and we came home feeling refreshed and recharged for the coming week.
  • Focus on what you WANT, not what you don’t want. Whatever your present circumstances, keep your eye on the prize you are after for your future.  The thoughts we focus on gain strength and power, so when you catch yourself obsessing about some current woe or future fear, STOP and re-focus your thoughts on your Big Goals.  Expect the BEST, and you will be sending powerful energy toward manifesting your dreams, instead of feeding negative energy to your current disappointments and challenges.

We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can always control how we respond.  Re-focus your thoughts on the positive, expect The Best, take good care of yourself and look for ways to be a blessing to at least one other person each day, and your Fall Funk will disappear as fast as the Halloween candy!

IMPORTANT NOTE: The blog will be taking next Sunday off and will return on Sunday November 11. In the meantime, have a safe and happy Halloween!

If you would like your own F.R.E.E. subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.  Your information will never be shared with anyone.

************* Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com. 

October 7, 2018

“Attitudes truly are contagious.  So decide today to make yours worthy catching.” – Mac Anderson

Last week, we examined ways to protect yourself from others’ “toxic energy” that can do real harm to you mentally and emotionally and may even keep you from realizing your full potential in life.  If you missed it, I hope you will go to the blog archives on my website and read it first (Inoculate Yourself – Blog 316).

In the last blog, I related my own experience of having to abruptly disengage from someone whose toxic energy was masquerading as something positive (at least at first).  I believe now that he was emotionally manipulating me (and probably many others) to sympathize with him — undoubtedly for the positive attention it garnered and perhaps the money people like me gave him to support his “good works” and dire personal financial problems.

Based on my own experience, I came up with the first two “Rules” for protecting yourself from people who come to you with their toxic energy – which, in addition to emotional manipulation, can include behaviors such as spreading damaging gossip, chronic complaining, and trying to sabotage your dreams, undermine your self-confidence or erode your self-worth.

Self-protection Rule Number One I gave you last time was Maya Angelou’s wonderfully wise quote: “People will show you who they are and you’d best believe them.”  Once I fully recognized what the manipulator was doing, I disengaged immediately, which so caught him off guard that he instantly revealed himself as a predator in sheep’s clothing. We all have a God-given intuition that tells us when something or someone just doesn’t add up or feel right.  We must listen to that insistent inner whisper and act on it ASAP.

Rule Number Two came from minister Joel Osteen, who reminded us that we all have “seeds” of greatness that need to be nurtured in “good soil.”  If the friends you associate with do not provide you with a nurturing environment for your personal growth through their lack of values, poor lifestyle choices or negative mindset, Joel recommends gradually disengaging by spending less and less time with them.  If they notice, you can say you are too busy pursuing your positive goals to spend as much time hanging out with them as before.

So far, so good, right?  But what if the person who exudes toxic energy in your life is someone you cannot disengage from – like your boss, a key Team member, a close relative or even a spouse or ex-spouse who shares custody of your kids?  What can you do then?

If you cannot avoid someone else’s toxic energy, I believe you must do two things to protect yourself and turn things to your advantage:

  • Be 100% relentlessly POSITIVE yourself. I have all my clients consciously prepare their own energy (defined as your thoughts PLUS your emotions) at the beginning of each day with a centering practice that includes positive affirmations, listing things you are grateful for that day in a Gratitude Journal, doing some positive visualization and a few minutes of reading in a good personal development book. My mother used to call the morning prayers and affirmations she taught me “putting on your armor” for the day.  Protecting ourselves against being affected by someone else’s negative energy starts with cultivating our own strong positive energy.
  • Adopt your own “Best” mindset and actions and expect good results. We are not here to change anyone else. But you can have a positive influence on others by consciously directing your own positive energy and entering all your interactions with a focused expectation of creating the BEST possible outcome for yourself and everyone involved.   As a wise Mentor Coach once explained to me, when two people have opposing energy, whoever has the STRONGER energy will pull the other into their energy.  You can expect the BEST outcome in a given situation because your own focused, intentional, relentlessly positive energy is always stronger than another’s negative energy.

One of my coaching clients recently faced that very conundrum. She dreaded having to deal with someone on her network marketing Team whose toxic energy she knew would likely oppose her own, because it had many times in the past.  This person had been gossiping with members of the Team about each other and stirring up emotional drama where there should be mutual support.

As my client gave me the details, I felt that what must really be driving this person is a deep insecurity about herself as a Leader. If her Team doesn’t invite her to every event or training, she imagines they don’t want or need her help.  I asked my client to imagine for a moment what it would be like to be that Leader — Wouldn’t it be scary and depressing to be so needy and have such low self-esteem? Wouldn’t it be exhausting to try to monitor all of your Team members’ every action, searching for any sign that they consider you irrelevant? She agreed it would suck to live like that.

Letting herself imagine what it would be like to hold such toxic energy allowed my client to turn her resentment for the drama this Leader stirred up on the Team into compassion for how needlessly self-punishing she was.  Then she felt that she could authentically assure her that they both have the SAME goal – for their Team to thrive.

The next step was for her to create a positive intention for the outcome of the phone call that she had first wanted to avoid but now was eager to make on HER terms: “I am creating that she will feel my good intentions and trust them. We will listen to each other with an open mind and have a healthy dialogue. We will treat each other with respect.”

The focused, positive mindset and energy she decided to embody during their upcoming call was being “fair, understanding, committed and a good listener.”

I got this excited follow-up text from my client after their conversation: “I want to thank you for giving me the words and mindset to speak with [Toxic Energy Leader]. We spoke last week and honestly that conversation has freed me from feeling responsible for so many things that aren’t mine to carry.  Things I’ve carried for way too long. I was able to not let my emotions take over and to say [my truth] and listen to what was being shared.  And the best part is I left that conversation not feeling bad about myself!”

If you cannot avoid interacting with someone in your life who often embodies toxic energy, here are some helpful guidelines to remember:

  • YOU have the power to protect yourself by putting on your mindset “armor” each day. Adopt a focused, relentlessly positive mindset and confidently expect the BEST in your interactions with them.
  • Try to imagine where their negative mindset and behaviors could stem from. Working up some compassion and understanding for what it must be like for them to live with their self-inflicted pain can allow you to control your own emotions and find ways to help them feel heard, understood and acknowledged, which is what most insecure, controlling people are really after.
  • Rather than trying to avoid whatever issues you know you eventually must confront with them, take the reins! If you embody focused, relentlessly positive energy around them, you have every reason to believe it will have a positive influence on them, rather than allowing them to have a negative influence on you.

Most importantly, you must always remember that nobody and nothing can make you FEEL any particular way. Others can say and do things you might not like, and you should absolutely stand up for yourself if someone crosses your personal boundaries. But nobody controls YOUR energy but YOU.  So recognize and make the most of your personal power!

IMPORTANT NOTE: The blog will be taking the next Sunday off.  A Cup of Caroll will return on Sunday, October 21. 

If you would like your own F.R.E.E. subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.  Your information will never be shared with anyone.

************* Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

 

 

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