Fear


August 26, 2018

“In the end, it all comes down to a matter of choice.  Each of us can choose to be reactive and at the mercy of a world that appears threatening, or we can choose to be open to life and its remarkable possibilities.  We can be defensive and protective, or we can live with a new spring in our step and spirit, eyes that truly see, ears that really hear, and a heart that can feel the wonder and celebrate the magnificent mystery that is life.” – From the book Getting Unstuck: 10 Simple Secrets to Embracing Change and Celebrating Your Life

Like many of you, I have been watching the weather news anxiously this week as Hurricane Lane bore down on the beautiful Hawaiian Islands.  Although there has certainly been some significant damage to cars, homes and roads from high winds and buckets of rain, the force of the storm turned out to be much less than expected. Thankfully, the people living in the Islands have been spared the overwhelming chaos they could have faced.

The weather chaos reminds me of other forms of chaos that a number of my clients, friends and I have faced this week, as well.  Several had children going off to college for the first time, which I now know from experience (thanks to my stepson Matt), can be an anxious and challenging time, both physically and emotionally.  It was also back to school time for younger children, and there’s always a certain amount of chaos and jangled nerves that go with a new school year routine, especially if they are going into a new school. Others had mechanical problems with cars and home remodeling.  I personally had some truly frustrating moments with my email system, which I absolutely depend on to be able to coach my clients.

While it’s easy for your Ego to feel anxious, frustrated, upset and even despairing when faced with different forms of chaos, it’s important for you to not succumb to that negative energy.  If you give in to it, the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) dictates that focusing your energy on negative thoughts and emotions will only attract MORE chaos to you. Whatever thoughts and emotions we focus on gain strength, like a hurricane traveling across the warm waters of an ocean, sucking up more moisture and growing ever bigger and stronger.

Fortunately, you have a choice.  No circumstance or person can make you FEEL any particular way.  You don’t have to suck up negative energy and make yourself feel more negative, upset and frustrated.  You have the free will to CHOOSE exactly how you view and respond to any given situation.  You can be the “eye” of the hurricane, which is calm and peaceful in the midst of the chaos swirling around it.

How can you do that?  Your thoughts create your emotions.  By re-directing your thoughts, you can control your emotional reaction to any situation. If you are upset, frustrated, angry, despairing or panicked, it’s because you have focused your thoughts on the worst case scenario for the outcome of a situation.  You are expecting the WORST to happen.

Instead, you need to consciously direct your mind to expect THE BEST.  You can’t know for sure the ultimate outcome of any situation in advance.  The BEST outcome is just as likely as the WORST.  But your advantage is that you can influence the odds for either the BEST or the WORST outcome by the energy you direct toward one or the other.

Your subconscious mind is always listening to everything you think and say. Like an internal minion, it believes everything you tell it, hook, line and sinker.  So don’t tell it the WORST is going to happen….Tell it the BEST is going to happen!  Talk it into really EXPECTING the best and it will do everything in its power to come up with ideas for you to make the best outcome a reality.

I saw firsthand how a mindset shift influenced the outcome for one of my friends recently.  He emailed me that his car had just had yet ANOTHER mechanical issue, in the same week it had blown two tires and the transmission had gone out of whack. In his Ego’s initial “despair” reaction to this chaos, he fumed, “This is TOO MUCH!  Please pray for me!” Clearly, his Ego was envisioning the worst case scenario: “You can’t handle any more of this chaos. This is hopeless!  Your car is not going to function and you are going to be stuck without transportation!”

I replied that maybe this “bad news” was really a sign that he was supposed to get a new car – something EVEN better.  That got him thinking along a new track.  Instead of seeing himself as the victim of some sort of unfathomable divine punishment, he recognized and took responsibility for each thing that had gone wrong with it. Instead of seeing his car as something to be frustrated with, he realized he really loves his car!

As his thoughts ran in a new, positive direction, his energy began to shift.  He wrote:

“Here’s what I decided.  For now, I am completely focused on my mental health.  I want to be happy and I am….Right now I am at peace, certainly not financially but mentally.  I am liked.  I am loved.  I have the ability to give of myself and for now I need to simply maintain that.  Being here with what I have is OK for now. 

“I am outside looking at my car right now.  It’s 11 years old.  I know it like an old friend.  We’ve been through a lot together.  If someone gave me a new car, I’d have to break it in.  Good friends you hold onto.  I am not limiting myself and my future.  I am basking in the peace of the moment.”

He went from frustration and despair to “basking in the peace of the moment” in the time it took to look at his car and write an email about what it means to him.  THAT is some impressive energy shifting!

Just a little while later, I got a follow-up message:

“WOW!  Not sure if my statement earlier had anything to do with it but after sending the message about my car, I tried one more time to start it.  This time, there was a sound of actually trying to turn over. Then it did.  I discovered the positive cable wasn’t completely connected.  Like life.  We may think we are grounded but we can’t function with only negative.”

As soon as his mindset and energy shifted, his subconscious mind got him to try turning it on one more time and voila — He got a working battery without having to buy a new one!

To calm your thoughts and emotions, here’s a mantra I use myself whenever I can’t see the solution to a chaotic situation or tough problem.  If you prefer, you can substitute The Universe, Inner Wisdom, Infinite Spirit — or whatever description best fits your personal belief system:

“I claim, accept and expect THE BEST.  God is with me, helping me, and I EXPECT great things to happen!”

Repeating this affirmation aloud in the face of chaos will allow your subconscious mind to stay calm and open to receiving the BEST solution, as it is whispered to you by the still, small voice that dwells in the eye of the hurricane.

If you would like your own F.R.E.E. subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.  Your information will never be shared with anyone.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

 

“What this power is, I cannot say.  All I know is that it exists….and it becomes available only when you are in that state of mind in which you know exactly what you want…and are fully determined not to quit until you get it.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Have you ever wanted something so badly you just ached for it — and then you let your fear stop you from getting it?

You hesitated just a few moments before taking the first step toward your Big Goal and then watched helplessly as the “magic moment” that could have catapulted you forward passed. You didn’t cross the room to ask that special someone to dance, you didn’t ask your boss for a raise, you didn’t apply for your dream job, you didn’t take your friend up on the opportunity to join her business, you didn’t sign up for the audition….You never did get your heart’s desire and you have regretted it ever since.

Of course you have done that!  I know because I have done that. Everybody who ever walked this planet has done it. That’s because whenever we have a strong urge to go after something, our Ego’s default mode is to hesitate. We pause before leaping into action just long enough to listen to the little Doubter Voice in our head, which is determined to stop you from taking that action. This is the cause of what we call “self-sabotage.”  We KNOW we really, really want something and we KNOW exactly what we have to do to get it, but we just cannot seem to MAKE ourselves take that first step.

If you want to reach your Big Goals and stop this maddening cycle of self-sabotage, you couldn’t find a better instruction manual than motivational speaker and life coach Mel Robbins’ new book “The 5 Second Rule.”  I have shared her TED talk about the 5 Second Rule with hundreds of people, and many of my coaching clients are reading her book right now because Mel is going to be one of the keynote speakers at their network marketing company’s September convention.

The way she developed her simple but effective tool for circumventing the hesitation urge that stops you from getting your dreams is a compelling story. Years ago, this former attorney’s financial world suddenly collapsed when her husband’s over-extended restaurant business started to fail and her own fledgling media career tanked at the same time. Rapidly, this successful power couple became heavily-in-debt “failures.” Blindsided, she felt numb and hopeless and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t seem to motivate herself to get out of bed each morning to handle her many daunting life challenges.

That posed a serious problem for her family because her children were not getting ready for school on time and were missing the bus day after day.  Her marriage was in jeopardy too. Her husband resented that he was working around the clock to try to save his business while she was sleeping in and avoiding looking for a job that could bring in some much-needed income.

Then one morning when her alarm rang, Mel spontaneously created a simple but very effective tool to push her brain past the paralyzing fear that was making her hit the snooze alarm again and again.  She counted down aloud like the rocket launch she had recently watched on television “Five. Four. Three. Two. One. GO!” When she got to “Go,” she miraculously threw back the covers, stood up and started her day, which led her to starting a new life.

Her book explains in fascinating detail exactly WHY that little fear voice in your head stops you from pursuing your Big Goals. (It is part of your normal, healthy Ego’s defense mechanism to try to keep you “safe” by keeping you on the couch instead of allowing you to make any changes that could possibly turn out to be a physical or emotional “risk.”)  Then she explains exactly how you can use the 5 Second Rule countdown to leverage yourself into taking the first step toward creating a new career, stopping yourself from giving in to your negative urges like smoking, alcohol or overeating, finding your perfect mate, getting a raise, expressing yourself artistically – ANY Big Goal you have in life.

She says, “Are you waiting for someone to ask you, drag you, pick you or catapult you into the spotlight, or are you willing to find the courage to push yourself?  Are you waiting to feel ready?  Waiting for the right time. Waiting to gain confidence.  Waiting to feel like it.  Waiting to feel worthy.  Waiting until you have more experience.

“Sometimes there is no next time, no second chance, or no time out.  Stop waiting.  It’s now or never.  When you wait, you aren’t procrastinating.  You are doing something more dangerous.  You are deliberately convincing yourself ‘now is not the time.’  You are actively working against your dreams.”

Mel’s book is filled with messages from people who have used the 5 Second Rule to overcome their Ego’s self-sabotaging fears and JUST DO IT.  And their results have been phenomenal.

Mel says, “The difference between people who make their dreams come true and those of us who don’t is just one thing: the courage to start and the discipline to keep going.  The Rule is a game-changer because it 5-4-3-2-1 forces you to get out of your head and start and it’ll 5-4-3-2-1 help you keep going…..When you 5-4-3-2-1 push yourself forward you’ll discover the magic in your life and open yourself up to the world, to opportunity, and to possibility.  You might not get the girl, the part, or the response you wanted but that’s not the point.  In the end, you’ll get something way cooler – you’ll discover the power inside of you.”

I invite you to watch (or re-watch) Mel Robbin’s 20 minute TEDx talk from several years ago.  Here’s the You Tube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc

And I very much encourage you to read The 5 Second Rule and USE what it teaches you. The life of your dreams is waiting for you — and the start of it is just FIVE SECONDS away!

If you would like your own F.R.E.E. subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.  Your information will never be shared with anyone.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

October 29, 2017

 “When we set out to do the best we can do, it is inevitable that great opportunity finds us because we are doing what truly makes us happy.  We’re in alignment and ready for the opportunities that life puts in our path.” – Josh Hinds

Having a ton of Fall fun with my wonderful husband Rick and others this past week, I found myself short on time to write a new blog this weekend.

Fortunately, while combing through the blog archives for ideas, I came across a post that reflects exactly what has been happening with several of my clients this very week, so the lesson is as timely today as it was two years ago!

In these especially uncertain times, I believe it is a comforting reminder we ALL can use whenever anxiety takes hold of us about the current status of our careers, relationships, goals or projects. So please enjoy this lightly-edited re-post!

October 31, 2015

 I am writing this on Halloween, just a few hours before the doorbell begins to chime and little Ghosts and Goblins appear on the doorstep to scare us into handing over the chocolate.

Halloween got me thinking about the emotion of fear and how pervasive it is in our lives.  One of the things the human Ego seems to be hardwired to fear most is loss.  Whether it’s a personal relationship, our health, a job, or a financial loss, our first reaction is likely to be fear that we won’t ever be able to replace what has been taken from us with something equally good.

(I should clarify here that I am not talking about the death of someone dear to you as being simply a “loss” to be replaced.  No individual can ever be replaced because we are each unique and special and priceless. And while a breakup or divorce can be as traumatic as a death, we still must believe that when our grieving process is complete, we will one day experience love and joy again, with another unique and special person.)

What I have discovered over many years spent studying the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) is that our attitude about a loss has everything to do with whether it eventually opens up the space for a new blessing or becomes a slippery slope to further loss.

If you can come to accept that your loss is simply what’s so right now, you can turn your thoughts and emotions to what you WANT to have happen next, instead of expending precious energy on useless denial.  I personally find that my greatest ally in this is my faith.  Like most of my clients, I believe in a Higher Power (I call it God, but you may call it The Universe, Life Force, Infinite Spirit or something else) that has my back and wants me to succeed.  My faith and past experience always remind me that a loss is a temporary condition and is not going to doom me.

I choose to believe that something just as good or even better is on its way to me right now.  I choose to believe that God/the Universe always knows what I am going to need even before I know it, and is always looking for ways to match me up with others who need what I have to offer, so we can create a Win-Win together. All I have to do to receive my Good is to let go of trying to force my own solutions, and instead listen quietly for the perfect “How” that God/The Universe is trying to guide me to. When I follow the prompting of that “still, small voice” inside me, I inevitably end up in the right place at the right time to receive my Highest Good.

I had a delightful experience of this phenomenon just this week. Well, it didn’t start out as delightful, as I got an unexpected loss.  One of my favorite clients texted that she was not going to continue our coaching for the foreseeable future, due to dealing with serious personal matters that had her too distracted to focus on the Big Goal we were working on.

At first, I was taken aback.  Texting?  Really? Why wouldn’t she choose to tell me this on the upcoming call we had scheduled that she had already paid for? It was hard not to take it personally.  I felt like the heroine in an old television show whose boyfriend broke up with her via a Post It note stuck to her computer screen!

But, honestly, I wasn’t upset with my client.  When I examined my emotional reaction to this loss more closely, I discovered an old fear coming up for me.

Even though my coaching practice has been quite full for some time, around Halloween, the past still comes back to haunt me. My husband is a Realtor, and the fall and winter months tend to be quieter times for his business. For several years during the Great Recession, his real estate income was very sporadic, so my coaching income paid most of the bills. Every Holiday season, I was terrified that all my clients would go on an extended vacation and we wouldn’t have a turkey on the table or presents under the tree.

Although our REALITY may change, our Ego’s old Limiting Beliefs are hard to shake.  Remembering a few challenging Holiday seasons from the past was enough to set my fearful Ego off because it is still on guard, searching for ANY sign that we could once again be financially insecure.  Thankfully, I recognized the old Limiting Belief resurfacing and reminded my fearful Ego that Rick and I are both prospering in our careers, have plenty of savings in the bank, and our past is not in our future.

One of my favorite tools to help my Ego relax so I can listen for the divine “How” is this affirmation: “I hereby give up my Old, Limiting Belief that there is never enough and life is a constant struggle.  My New, Empowering Belief is that I am prosperous, with never-ending abundance to spare and to share!” So, after reading my client’s text, I repeated it aloud and went on with my day.

Just two hours later, I had a free coaching session with someone I had never met who was referred to me by a colleague.  Our session was originally scheduled for a few weeks ago, but she had to reschedule for the same afternoon that I received the “Dear Jane” text from my client.

Our free session went great.  There was comfortable rapport and immediate trust between us, and I was delighted to learn that she embraces the Law of Attraction and many of the LOA tools I use to help my clients turbo-charge their results.  Without hesitation, she signed up for coaching.

When I gave her a choice among my open time slots, she chose the one that my former client had graciously made available that very day. Thus, what looked like a loss just a couple of hours earlier was transformed into a Win-Win-Win for my new client, my former client and me!

And once again, I was reminded that if we steadfastly BELIEVE in our dreams, RELEASE our Ego’s fear of loss, and EXPECT something good to take its place, we can turn our pain into wonderful gain.

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go here and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top of the page: http://practicalprosperitycoach.com

*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

 

 

September 17, 2017

“The moment you speak something – good or bad – you give birth to it as an idea, an expectation, a desire.  You have planted the seed that will, sooner or later, grow into the results you will reap.” – Julie David-Colan and Lee J. Colan

In last week’s blog, I described HOW I got the idea of teaching Jen Sincero’s great new book, You Are a Bad Ass at Making Money, as a summer tele-course to help my clients and their network marketing Teams (and any of my blog readers who were interested, too!) to overcome summer inertia and reach their Big Goals in record time. I shared with you that the first characteristic of a Big How is that it often comes to you out of the blue in a surprising form.

All of my clients were excited about the summer course idea and it also seemed like a perfect How for ME because I needed another income stream to get me through the tough time of year when many of my private coaching clients would “take a break” for a month or two. It was a Big How because it was clearly a Win-Win solution to the summer slump for both my clients and me!

Big How Characteristic #2:  It often starts out as a small idea, but soon, the details start to take shape and then you realize that you must then ACT on them.

UH OH! As I was speaking my summer course idea into existence and getting enthusiastic responses, my clients’ questions made me realize that there were a LOT of details that must be handled efficiently for the course to be ready in a few short weeks. I made a long To-Do list, which turned out to be just the beginning of the Big, Fat Summer Adventure that 52 participants and I were about to embark on.

Fortunately, as Jen Sincero promises, “The Universe will always send you what you need.  It wants you to succeed, to grow and blossom and shine.”

After I set the dates and began promoting “Prosperity Summer Camp” in my weekly blog, The Universe gave me one simple idea that proved to be a HUGE shortcut to success:  I phoned my friend and mentor, Leslie Zann. She is an expert trainer for the direct sales/network marketing industry whose sage advice saved me lots of time and possible mistakes regarding the number of sessions, how much to charge, how to handle the registration and payment details and what platform to use for delivery. But in order to follow Leslie’s wise counsel, I had to face the next characteristic of a Big How.

Big How Characteristic #3: FEAR!  Jen says, “Your role is to keep your mindset strong, open and ready to receive.  And to do a whole lotta stuff you’ve never done before.  Especially stuff that scares the living crap out of you and hurls you outside your comfort zone….When it comes to changing your life, if you’re not scared, you’re doing something wrong.” 

Boy, is Jen right! All of Leslie’s advice seemed fairly easy to follow except one important piece. When I told her that I planned to use my old familiar voice-only tele-seminar format, Leslie exclaimed, “Oh, no! You MUST use Zoom!” Technology, it seems, has advanced a bit since I did my last group course several years ago.  Now, most of my clients use video chatting for their Team gatherings and trainings.

Gulp!  Video conferencing was definitely outside of my wheelhouse. My Big Fears about using Zoom were two-fold:

  • I am used to looking at my notes while I speak on the phone. I asked Leslie how I could do that on video and still maintain eye contact with my audience. “Just put your notes on the desk in front of you,” she assured me. “You can glance down from time to time. No problem.”  I was not wholly convinced that I could pull that off smoothly.
  • But an even bigger concern – OK, FEAR – was that I do not generally find technology to be easy to use. I was worried that Zoom might be too complicated for me to master in a few short weeks. Leslie assured me that Zoom’s tech support is great.  She said I could ask them anything and have them walk me through it.  That turned out to be her BEST advice of all.  A couple of nice young tech reps at Zoom and I are now Besties.

Like most fears that threaten to stop us from allowing the perfect Big How to lead us to a Big Goal, mine turned out to be mere Limiting Beliefs. After a few practice sessions, I mastered all the basic Zoom controls needed to manage and record my presentations. If I had remained in my safe little tele-seminar cocoon, I am sure most of the course participants would have been bored silly.  As it was, even my private coaching clients who took the course said it was great to finally SEE me and assured me that I did fine, both with Zoom AND my eye contact.

Which brings us to the final characteristic of an effective Big How, which I learned while creating and delivering the Prosperity Summer Camp course:

Big How Characteristic #4: It is far BETTER than any answer that we would have come up with ourselves, because it makes us GROW, while getting us to our Big Goal.  The initial tiny spark that began my long journey to spending my entire summer delivering a webinar on the Law of Attraction was my sincere desire to help my clients stay on track pursuing their Big Goals AND an irresistible, burning desire to share with everyone I possibly could Jen Sincero’s amazing book that can teach them how to create the unlimited prosperity and success each of us deserves. And before I knew it, step-by-step, the Big How began to take shape.

If I had let my Limiting Beliefs and fears stop me from using the perfect delivery method that God/The Universe sent me, 52 participants and I would never have gained the invaluable knowledge and had the personal breakthroughs we all experienced.

I asked each participant to email me the outcome of the Big Goal they were trying to manifest by the end of the course.  A number said they were amazed that they actually DID reach their goals – or nearly so — in six short weeks, and that their Big Hows were as surprising and delightful as my own.

Even those who did not reach their Big Goal by August 31 said they were grateful for their major personal breakthroughs – especially in overcoming fears and Limiting Beliefs and giving up their attachment to their OWN limited hows. Yes, Jen, we DID “succeed, grow, blossom and shine!”

As it turned out, the REAL gold in our Big, Fat Summer Adventure together was the growth spurt in our BELIEF. As Jen Sincero says, “Faith is the rocket that you ride into uncharted territory to get to your wildest dreams….You must believe that everything you desire really is available to you and that you possess all the tools, power, and permission to manifest it.” 

Amen, Jen! Amen.

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

 

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate.  If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

When several of my coaching clients told me they were reading You Are a Bad Ass at Making Money by Jen Sincero and vowed that it was EVEN better than her fabulous You Are a Bad Ass, I immediately ordered a copy. I am SO glad I did!

My autographed copy arrived just in time for me to devour most of it on our long flights to and from Hawaii last month. I am urging you now: RUN, don’t walk, to get this book….IF you are interested in having more financial prosperity in your life.  In fact, if you are interested in having more of ANYTHING in your life.

Really, the only thing I can come up with that doesn’t require money is LOVE. So, if we are honest, what concerns us most is how to create more MONEY in our lives because money is the foundation for having time freedom, dream homes, beautiful cars, the best educational opportunities for our kids, creative pursuits, exciting travel adventures and the ability to fully support our favorite charities and causes.

I truly have not been so impressed with a book about the Law of Attraction (which states that “energy attracts like energy”) since The Power by Rhonda Byrne years ago.  Sincero’s new book is so clear, so easy to understand, and so damn FUNNY, I promise that you will turn the pages quickly and laugh out loud frequently, as I did — and then decide to go back and re-read it and do every exercise in the book.

I have been studying, teaching and striving to fully LIVE the formula for using the power of your mind and energy to create anything you want since I was first introduced to it via the network marketing industry in the mid-1990’s.  They didn’t call it “The Law of Attraction” back then (credit for that goes to Rhonda Byrne and The Secret), but authors have been trying to explain how to use it to make your dreams a reality for several centuries. (Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill was one of the first, and still one of the best, modern books on this topic.)

I have gotten many useful insights and ideas from these scores of books and videos by Master Manifesters over the years, which I have put into practice in my own life.  I have used The Law of Attraction to dig our family out of a deep financial hole from the Great Recession, to find the perfect car, the perfect home and the perfect husband (Yes, Rick, you ARE perfect!).  I have used it to create magical vacation experiences and to survive serious threats to our financial and physical well- being.  I know it is real and I know it works.  Reliably, every time.

I got one very useful NEW insight about the Law of Attraction from Jen Sincero’s latest book (which is filled with jaw-dropping and often funny stories of her and her coaching clients’ triumphs at creating large amounts of money when it looked like they didn’t have a prayer of doing so) about the fact that FEAR is always going to be a factor in manifesting what you want.

If you are pursuing the HOW that is going to get you the money or item you really, really want, you have to realize that you MUST experience some discomfort or even cold sweat FEAR in order to get it.  That doesn’t mean that the How contains a REAL risk to your physical well-being.  It usually indicates that your Ego is terrified that you will either fail and will then be ridiculed or devastated emotionally OR that you will succeed and be overwhelmed by your new power and responsibilities or disliked by those who are jealous of your success.

The FEAR can stop you from having your greatest desire when it is right at your fingertips.  You have to WANT it so much and BELIEVE that you are going to get it so deeply that you are willing to walk through all fear or discomfort and come out the other side.  If you are willing to face your fear and do it anyway, you have a great shot at success.

Jen is great at telling it like it is. I love that she doesn’t sugar-coat this because I know that my own Ego and my coaching clients’ Egos have threatened to sabotage us by trying to convince us that the “risk” is REAL and we should STOP NOW in our pursuit of our Big Dreams. (These fears are called “Limiting Beliefs” for a reason!)  If you follow the steps of the Law of Attraction and if your belief is stronger than your Ego’s fear, I know that it WILL work for you. Reliably, every time.

My own most recent Law of Attraction manifestation experience happened last week:  While Rick and I were out delivering his monthly newsletter to each door in his real estate “farm,” I declared to God/The Universe that, “I am creating that Rick will get at least one new real estate transaction from this newsletter.”  I really BELIEVED it and felt EXCITED to see how God/The Universe would make it happen. (Two musts for using the Law of Attraction to manifest what you want, according to Sincero’s book.)

The following day, which was Memorial Day, Rick and I entered a local restaurant and caught sight of our favorite server in the main dining room. We hadn’t seen “Marie” in quite a few months because she only works weekdays and we usually go there for brunch on Sunday. Also, we arrived at the end of the lunch rush, which was usually the time she went home, so it was a lovely surprise to see her still there. We asked to be seated in her section and Rick ran back to the car to get one of his newsletters, as Marie always likes to guess Rick’s monthly “trivia quiz” for a chance at a gift card.

At first, Marie frowned at the hostess, clearly indicating that she was about to end her shift and didn’t really want any new customers.  But when she saw it was us, she beamed and came rushing over to our table, exclaiming, “This is a sign from the Universe that you are here!”  As Rick handed her his newsletter, she told him that she has finally decided to take action on her longtime dream of selling her condo and moving to Idaho, where her retired father (and co-owner of her condo) now lives.

“I have been torn between using you or my dear friend ‘Linda’ to list my house for sale.  She and I have been friends for years, but she is new to real estate and Dad is urging me to use someone more experienced.  Now, here you are, and I take that as my sign it’s supposed to be YOU!” 

And with that, Rick secured his next client.  It was not exactly the HOW I had envisioned, but that is something Jen Sincero emphasizes we have to give up.  We can’t control HOW God/The Universe chooses to fulfill our desires.  Our job is to be CLEAR about what we want, to BELIEVE it will happen, and to take committed ACTION toward our goals– which inevitably means we have to walk through our fear and do it anyway!

So I have decided to step through one of my own big fears and declare this:  I am offering anyone who reads my blog and their friends, colleagues and loved ones the chance to attend a virtual Law of Attraction Summer Camp that I am creating for July and August.

You send your kids to summer camp to help them stay actively engaged, learn new skills, gain confidence, have fun and make new friends. Why shouldn’t we adults use our summer to do the same AND learn exactly how to manifest anything we want – especially money!

I am offering you and your friends the chance to learn exactly how to do this, as I have been doing in my own life and teaching my coaching clients to do for many years now. We will all read You Are a Bad Ass at Making Money together during the two month course, to get the wonderful foundation in Law of Attraction principles that Jen Sincero provides. During the six one-hour classes, I will teach you even MORE practical applications of her precepts.  I will share with you my very BEST tools, tips and techniques that I have used for over 20 years to “make the Law of Attraction my bitch,” as Jen Sincero would say.  I will do group coaching as part of each session AND hold at least one private phone coaching session with each participant, all included in the very affordable course fee.

The scary part for me?  For the first time ever, I am going to present via a Zoom webinar.  (Participants who don’t want to use Zoom for free can still use the telephone to access the seminar.) Tele-seminars have been my familiar, comfortable format up to now.  And learning new technology is not my strong suit….So this is uncharted territory for me.  I am both scared and excited to stretch and grow my presentation and group coaching skills to make the class as engaging and participatory as possible because I want everyone to actually REACH a Big Goal they have set by the end of the two months (whether financial or otherwise).

If you want to learn to manifest your dreams more easily – reliably, every time – I hope you will join me at a Summer Camp for your wallet!  Let’s support each other to put something at stake for the course, walk through our fears, and prove that we can each manifest a Big Goal by the end of summer 2017!

Stay tuned for more details about the course and how to register in a separate email that will come to you soon.  I hope you will forward it to others and help me spread the word to everyone you know who wants their life to be MORE fulfilling, MORE prosperous, MORE joyful and MORE fun!

If you would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to my website at http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com  or toll free 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   

 

 

 

“I have never met a single human being that has made a lifelong, meaningful change that came from shame or guilt….I have seen so much positive change that results from self-care, self-love, self-esteem and self-respect.” – Taryn Brumfitt, body-image activist

If your own personal goals have nothing to do with your weight or physical shape, please don’t stop reading today’s topic.  I believe it applies to any Big Goal, and I hope it will inspire you to adopt the right mindset that will enable you to succeed at reaching your own goals, be they health, financial, career, creative, romantic – whatever is most important to you.

My wonderful husband and I will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary on May 5th – Cinco de Champagne, as Rick likes to call it.  We want to celebrate in style, so we are going to Hawaii for eight days and nights.  We have both been before, but never as a couple.

The first four nights, including our anniversary, will be spent on Oahu at the Aulani, a Disney resort I have dreamed of since it was built several years ago.  (If you are a regular reader of this blog you know that Rick and I love all things Disney, AND the resort itself is fabulous.)  The second four days/nights will be spent on Kauai, the Garden Isle, which is the loveliest of the Hawaiian Islands.

When New Year’s Day 2017 rolled around, we already had our reservations and all the details taken care of.  The only thing I wasn’t looking forward to was getting into my bathing suit.  Yeah.  The usual Holiday weight gain had piled on top of the Holiday weight from the year before and the year before that.  I was feeling pretty resigned about it, to tell you the truth.  I just tried to avoid full length mirrors as much as possible.

My husband thinks I’m hot, no matter what.  So my self-esteem wasn’t really suffering.  But I didn’t feel good in my clothes, and I knew my energy level had taken a nose dive.

I have struggled with trying to lose 10 or 15 pounds just about all my life.  I had some success with keeping it off for a few years, but whenever I hit a rough patch in life, I often turned to food for comfort and stress relief.  During the Great Recession and its aftermath, I pretty much gave in to the chips and cookies for good.

When I thought back to our wedding 10 years ago, I remembered how proud and happy I felt that day about everything – the event itself, finding the Man of My Dreams, and working my butt off (literally) to fit into my wedding dress!

Fittingly, I found my one-of-a-kind Dress of My Dreams on sale on a solo trip I took to Hawaii to attend a workshop about six months before our wedding.  It was exactly what I wanted, but it was a size smaller than I was at the time.  So, I took on the project like my life depended on it.  I hired a personal trainer, worked out consistently, ate carefully and voila! A critical short-term Big Goal got me to my ideal weight for the dress.  (OK, Spanx helped a little, too!)

This January, facing a similar Big Goal of fitting into my bathing suit again and not feeling old and tired on my second honeymoon, I wondered, “How can I find some of that drive and commitment that carried me to my Big Goal 10 years ago?” I was just not feeling I had it in me to do it again.

That’s when I had two key insights about what was REALLY holding me back from finally achieving a healthy weight that I could maintain permanently.   

First, with my wedding dress Big Goal, I had to admit that what truly motivated me then was FEAR.  I was terrified of risking public humiliation by having to buy another dress, after showing off my Dream Dress to my closest friends, who were also my Bridesmaids! This time, I definitely wanted to look good for Rick and to feel good in my own body, but I didn’t have the same compelling OUTER-directed fear of “What will others think if I fail?” about looking good on the beach!

I realized that what Taryn says in her quote is absolutely true.  I was able to make a short-term change for the wedding, but when that temporary goal was reached, I began to undo it almost immediately.  I ate and drank like there was no tomorrow at our reception and fell so far off the wagon that within a month, I had regained 10 pounds, which kept compounding over the next ten years.

TAKE-AWAY #1: If you want long-term success, you need a substantial, POSITIVE “Why” for pursuing your Big Goal.

My second insight was that I remembered my earlier journey to weight loss success as being really HARD.  Ten years older, I just didn’t feel physically or mentally up to “suffering” through deprivation and hard workouts for months on end. And since my temporary triumph had all come undone very quickly, my Inner Doubter kept whispering, “You know it’s just going to fall apart again! So why bother?”

That’s when I saw clearly that I had been living the last 10 years of my life out of these two powerful  Limiting Beliefs – That only FEAR can motivate me, and that I just don’t have the self-discipline to make lasting changes.

TAKE –AWAY #2:  I created a new Empowering Belief possibility for myself: Positive change can be EASY and PERMANENT.  

Very soon, the most amazing solution to my weight loss dilemma appeared.  As often happens, when you are truly ready to RECEIVE a better How, God/the Universe directs you to fulfill your desire in a way that is easier and more satisfying than anything your own Ego could come up with.

Last year, Rick was diagnosed as being on the cusp of developing Type II diabetes, which his doctor tried to treat with conventional medicine and conventional nutrition, with little success.  Rick had several relatives suffer and die from this disease and he was determined to beat it.  Unbeknownst to me, he went to a presentation by a wellness clinic that uses cutting-edge nutrition and supplements to control blood sugar and reverse the effects of Type II diabetes.  Before I knew it, he had embarked on a radical lifestyle change.

I am a lucky woman because Rick does ALL of the shopping and cooking.  He began following his new program to a T, buying only organic, drinking more water than ever before, and taking a lot of supplements. We both learned a lot of eye-opening information about common foods that have a bad effect on blood sugar, such as potatoes, rice, pasta, the mold in coffee and peanut butter and the inflammatory properties of tomatoes, dairy and some kinds of cooking oil.

As Rick stuck to a strict list of healthy fruits, salads, vegetables, chicken and seafood, I just ate whatever he prepared for dinner because I wanted to support him. It was no hardship, because the food was really delicious and we both learned to be satisfied with smaller portions. In a few weeks, I had effortlessly dropped 10 pounds.

After I realized what was happening, I decided to be a little more focused in my own habits, keeping up my daily one hour walks and cutting out desserts, except for grapes and strawberries.  The “raging” sweet tooth I had always claimed to have seemed to disappear on its own.  So much for fear and hardship!

As of today, I have lost 15 pounds and Rick has lost 23. Most importantly, his blood work is excellent and he looks and feels amazing. And, one week before our trip, I am happy to say that my bathing suit fits just fine.  In fact, I had to buy some smaller-size clothes for the trip.

Now, I am truly committed to my Big Goal of reaching and maintaining my ideal healthy weight. (Just 10 more pounds to go!)  Yes, I know that I will enjoy a few Mai Tais and some great food in Hawaii, but I have an internal knowing that I won’t fall off the wagon again because for the first time, I am doing it for the RIGHT reasons: Self-love, Self-care, Self-esteem and Self-respect!

The blog will be taking the next two Sundays off to prepare for and enjoy our trip to Hawaii.  A Cup of Caroll will return on Sunday, May 14.  Aloha!

If you would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to my website at http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com  or toll free 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you — To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return.  Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you.  Truly appreciate life and you’ll find that you have more of it.” – Ralph Marston

[This slightly-edited blog first ran in 2014.  I give this incredibly powerful prosperity tip to all my Personal Success Coaching clients, and I want to share it with YOU, too!]

Feeling grateful is my habitual way of being, but that wasn’t always so.

It came from consciously following a daily practice that has greatly increased both my joy and the level of material abundance in my life. When I began it years ago, there was much more fear than gratitude inside of me.

Soon after my wonderful husband Rick and I bought our big expensive Dream Home in late 2006, the national real estate bubble burst with a vengeance.  Our home’s value plummeted by hundreds of thousands of dollars and my Realtor husband’s income evaporated overnight. At the same time, many of my clients had to quit coaching because their incomes also had been decimated by the Great Recession.

For months, I regularly woke up around 3 AM with a cold wave of fear engulfing me as I lay next to my sleeping husband thinking, “What if we lose our house?  Could we end up living in our car like the people on the evening news? Would our friends let us sleep on their couch?  What will happen to our beloved pets?”  I lay there envisioning the Worst Case Scenario in living color until the alarm clock finally went off. Then I would drag myself out of bed and try to put on a happy face for my family and my clients, but inside I was terrified.

Because of my faith and my coaching training, I knew the antidote to fear was to change my thoughts.  So I began to study every book and audio about prosperity that I could get my hands on. The consistent message coming to me from all the Master Manifesters was “Be grateful.”  That seemed like a real stretch, given our bleak circumstances and the predicted length of the Great Recession.

One day, I was watching Oprah interview Sarah Ban Brethnach, the author of Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy.  Sarah recommended that the path to greater abundance started with keeping a Daily Gratitude Journal. Oprah enthusiastically endorsed the practice, saying that it had changed her life.  Well, Oprah was already one of the richest people on the planet, so that got my attention. What could possibly make her life better?

Oprah said that writing down five things she felt grateful for in a Gratitude Journal every day changed her life because it made her notice all the GOOD things in her life, big and small.  On a challenging day when she was feeling discouraged or stressed, she had to really pay attention because she knew she would have to come up with five things that she was thankful for at the end of the day!  Keeping a Daily Gratitude Journal made her aware that we are all so blessed to have a life we often take for granted.

That got me thinking about all that I was taking for granted in my own life: My loving, healthy family and pets, an abundance of material comforts like indoor plumbing, a refrigerator full of food, electricity, a microwave, washer and dryer, clean running water, etc. etc. etc. And most of all, we are blessed with personal freedoms that billions of other people don’t enjoy. I was living a modest middle-class lifestyle that would be considered royalty in most of world!

Then I understood the Prosperity Secret that Oprah knew: All I really needed in my life was more GRATITUDE for what I already have, instead of worrying about what’s lacking. We know that what we focus on expands. I was focusing on lack, so I was attracting more LACK into my life.  If I wanted to experience more PROSPERITY, I needed to focus on all the wonderful blessings I had in my life right NOW!

I started a Daily Gratitude Journal that very day. But I write down 10 things I’m thankful for each day because it’s hard to stop at five! My husband and I also began saying “grace” together before our evening meal, giving thanks to God for the specific blessings we are present to right NOW.

Slowly but surely, with a lot of Divine guidance, we began working through every single financial challenge we faced — settling five years of back taxes, discharging a bankruptcy, recovering from losing one car and two houses. Along the way, our family never missed a meal, paid a bill late or spent one night without our own roof over our heads.

Now, my husband’s real estate business is flourishing again, my coaching practice is nearly full and we are experiencing greater financial abundance and personal happiness today than the day we married nine years ago.

One of the clearest explanations of the very real power of GRATITUDE to create more good in your life is found in Felicia Blanco Searcy’s wonderful book Do Greater Things: Following in Jesus’ Footsteps. She writes: 

“…physicists have shown that there are a multitude of possibilities available to us at any given moment. All options are there at once, waiting for us to decide where we will put our focus, which then determines which possibility will manifest. 

…Gratitude opens us to the possibility that anything can happen.  It increases our capacity to entertain other options even if we can’t begin to see how they might happen.  It gives us a renewed sense of hope and brings our focus back to the possibility that things will turn out well. 

As we focus on what is good in our lives, we bring the favorable possibility out from the shadows into the light of day.  We clothe the desired choice and make it real with our thoughts and feelings.  As we focus on gratitude, or appreciation, we give God the space to bring about other possibilities that are beyond our human understanding or imaginings.” 

If you aren’t keeping a Daily Gratitude Journal, I highly recommend starting yours today. Take it from Oprah (and me), your life will never be the same!

NOTE:  If you would like your own F*R*E*E* subscription to receive A Cup of Caroll three Sundays a month, go to my website at www.practicalprosperitycoach.com then click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top and enter your name and email. This information will be kept 100% confidential and will not be given to anyone else for any other purpose.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!) 

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com to schedule their session.

 

 

 

 

 

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