“Visualize this thing that you want.  See it, feel it, believe in it.  Make your mental blueprint and begin to build.”  — Robert Collier in How Successful People Think

Last week, I shared with you some Aloha Lessons I got from Rick’s and my 10th anniversary celebration trip to Hawaii.  Now, I want to share one other lesson I got from the trip – a real mind-bender.

It wasn’t what I had thought would happen. It was something I had known could happen, but like so many of the delightful surprises God/the Universe sends us in answer to our desires, it arrived in a far different “package” than I had imagined. It caught me totally off guard. And it delighted me nonetheless.

First, a little background: One of the most effective tools for manifesting your desires into the material world is visualization.  You simply close your eyes and make a “movie” in your head, with you as the writer, director and actor —  acting out you enjoying something you strongly desire to have — a new car, a new house, a new love, a growing business team, a large amount of cash – anything your heart desires.

If you will spend just 3-5 minutes each morning and each night before you go to sleep doing this, it will show God/the Universe exactly what you want AND program your subconscious mind to figure out a way to get it for you.  The process for this is sort of an assembly line for manifesting: First, God/the Universe sends the ideal “How” to your subconscious mind, which will pick up that idea and relay it to your conscious mind in the form of brainstorms, creative new ideas, intuitive hits, new inventions, etc. Finally, YOU get to take those ideas and ACT on them to turn them into your REALITY.

One tool for visualizing is a Dream Board or Vision Board.  Many of my clients make these at the beginning of each year and put them on the wall of their office or bedroom where they can stare at them daily.  The board is covered with internet or magazine pictures, photos or drawings and also words that represent all the things they are looking forward to having when their Big Goals manifest.

I have told my clients to be mindful of what they put on their Vision Board, because it is a certainty that their subconscious mind is going to imprint on it and then do everything in its power to make it a reality.  So if you want a RED Porsche, I tell them, don’t put up a picture of a BLACK Porsche just because you didn’t take the trouble to look for a red one.  Because one of these days, you are going to find yourself standing at the dealership, being handed the keys to your new Porsche — and I promise you it will be a BLACK one.

And I have also shared with them that I have two large, glossy photos of Hawaii on my wall, just to the left of my desk where I coach.  For several years, I have been staring daily at a picture of a beautiful beach in Maui and another on Kauai’s famed Na Pali Coast, which has been used to represent a tropical paradise in a number of Hollywood movies, including South Pacific.

Because I know the immense power of visualization to motivate the subconscious mind, I joked that, since we were going to spend time in Kauai on this trip, I bet that at some point, I would find myself actually standing with my toes in the sand, looking down the curved coast at the exact view of the Na Pali Coast that is hanging on my wall.

As predicted, I did end up having a “déjà vu” experience in Kauai, but not the one I imagined.

On our last full day on the island, we still had not visited any beaches, nor did either of us feel a real desire to do so. We decided to take the long, slow Kuhio Highway that loops up the east side and across the north coast of Kauai.  We stopped and enjoyed several interesting attractions along the way, but the REAL draw for me, and our ultimate destination was Hanalei Town, situated near the very end of the road.

Since we were staying on the south shore, a town on the opposite end of the island would not normally be a destination we would consider worth the long, slow drive. But, as I perused a sightseeing guide that morning and came across photos of the peaceful, beautiful, missionary-era town, filled with historic buildings, I just felt a strong inner urge to see it.  One of the pictures in the guide was of the little green 1912 Wai’oli Church and Mission House, set on a huge green lawn and surrounded by palm trees and beautiful flowering bushes.  I made a note that we must see it while we were in Hanalei.

After lunch, we parked at the church and Rick walked across the street to take pictures of the beautiful outside, while I looked inside and imagined what it would have been like to live in that quaint town and visit that church each Sunday in a bygone era.   When I joined Rick outside, and stood back, looking at the front of the church, it finally hit me.

For all those years, sitting at my desk and daydreaming about visiting Hawaii with Rick, I had been focusing my attention on the two big, glossy beach pictures, while on the windowsill right under my nose was a little unobtrusive card we had received for Christmas many years before. On the front of the card was an original photo shot by our friend. The back of the card, which I don’t remember ever reading, said, “Historic church, Kauai, Hawaii. July 2000.”

I couldn’t be absolutely sure it was the very same church until we returned home and I walked into my office.  Yes!  There it was. Still on my windowsill — the little green church that I had felt so drawn to take a long journey to see.  I laughed out loud at God’s and my subconscious mind’s little “wink” to me – “See?” they seemed to say, “You thought about it for years, and WE delivered…. You can check that one off your bucket list!”

When we got back to our hotel in Koloa, to further preserve our memory of the lovely green church, we purchased a beautiful small print of it in a nearby art gallery. We even met the friendly local artist who just happened to be at the gallery that day, and she happily signed it for us. I am so grateful that God and my own powerful subconscious mind effortlessly delivered to me what turned out to be one of the most delightful memories of our trip.

So if you want to manifest any heartfelt Big Dream, no matter how far-fetched it may seem to you right now — just as a fabulous trip to Hawaii certainly seemed out of reach to us for many years — all you have to do to begin making it your REALITY is to believe in it, visualize it until you can really feel it, and leave the How of manifesting it up to the experts!

PLEASE NOTE:  The blog will be taking Memorial Day Weekend off.  A Cup of Caroll will return on Sunday, June 4.

If you would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to my website at and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them contact me at  or toll free 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.” – Marian Wright Edelman

I sincerely hope you got a chance to read last week’s blog, which touched a chord in many of my readers. My guest columnist and fellow coach, Bob Perks, movingly shared his personal experiences with depression – his own and others’ — and offered us sound advice on how to listen to someone suffering with depression, sadness or disappointment in a way that will make a real difference for them.

I am very grateful to those who took the time to send Bob a message of thanks, forward the blog to others, purchase his wonderful book “I Wish You Enough” on or visit his website ( and follow him on Facebook. To those “Earth Angels” who sent him a monetary gift of appreciation at, know that Bob is incredibly grateful for your support and validation, as am I. (And if you didn’t take any of these steps to show your gratitude, it’s never too late!)

One of the most memorable lines in Bob’s powerful column was “Don’t be a good listener.  Be a great one.” During our coaching sessions this week, several of my clients who read Bob’s column related their own stories that validate just how powerfully GREAT listening can change a life. Here are two of my favorites:

One client told me about her elderly mother, who several months ago began sharing her home with her adult grandchildren and their two kids, plus their dogs. At first, “Nana” was very happy to have all that youthful energy swirling around her and loved helping with the after-school babysitting, which gave her a renewed sense of purpose.

But recently, my client noticed that her mother seemed uncharacteristically sad and upset. One day, Nana blurted out, “I am so unhappy.  I want to sell the house and move back to Chicago.”  My client was taken aback, but with Bob Perk’s “great listening” advice fresh in her mind, she was able to respond differently than she ordinarily might have.

Resisting the urge to point out that Nana’s idea was unworkable for many reasons, my client chose instead to be a curious, non-judgmental Active Listener. She calmly and gently questioned her mother in order to find out what was really bothering her. Nana admitted that the unaccustomed noise and activity were wearing on her.  My client acknowledged that she would feel the same way, and volunteered to talk to her adult children and remind them of the “house rules” their family had been breaking lately.  Nana seemed to brighten at that, but my client could sense there was something still deeper beneath the surface.

When my client asked what else might be on her mind, Nana confessed that she was afraid she wouldn’t have enough money to continue to live on. My client had recently helped her mother apply for a refinance of her mortgage, which should give her a nice nest egg on which she could live comfortably for many years.  But being 83, Nana didn’t quite understand the ins and outs of today’s long and complicated mortgage process, and thought something must be wrong. My client was able to reassure her that the process was going smoothly and would soon be completed and said she was confident that Nana’s finances would be in good shape for the rest of her life.

Then Nana’s energy completely shifted and my client realized that the stress and worry that she had kept under wraps must have been taking a real toll on her mother. If she had not given Nana the chance to express her fears with active, non-judgmental listening, Nana’s long-term mental and physical health might well have been affected. Today, their multi-generational household is back to normal and Nana eagerly looks forward to her great-grandkids’ return from school each day.

My second client’s story proves that simply giving a little attention and kindness to others can have a lasting impact, even if we don’t realize their true circumstances.

A high school drama teacher, she recently attended an after-party for a successful school production. Unexpectedly, two seniors got up to speak. Both these young men are among the most popular students in the school and both appear quite well-adjusted, successful and confident.

To her shock, in front of their peers, parents and faculty members, each student thanked her for turning their lives around. Both revealed that, as freshmen, they had been badly bullied and felt like outcasts. One confessed to being so despondent, he had even contemplated suicide.

These two well-liked and respected young men told my client that her class had changed their lives by making them feel understood, worthwhile and appreciated.  My client had simply done with them what she strives to do with all her students — she listened, validated and encouraged them to believe in themselves.

She told me in amazement, “Never in a million years would I have guessed what they were going through back then.  It taught me that being kind and positive really makes a difference for others.” Indeed it does!

I’d like to close by adding to Bob Perk’s words of wisdom a few of my own “best practices” for listening in a way that can make a profound difference for others:

  • Stay open: Listen without prejudgment or attachment to how YOU want the conversation to go or the outcome YOU want to see. You might be surprised to discover an EVEN better possible outcome than you imagined — if you can truly listen for it with an open mind.
  • Be an Active Listener – Pay attention. Don’t just wait for the other person to stop talking so YOU can speak. Your Inner Wisdom will give you the perfect words to say in response if you listen carefully to what they are saying all the way through to the end.
  • Ask permission before offering advice – Even a professional coach needs to distinguish whether advice is really what they want from you – or do they just need you to listen with a compassionate heart and help them to feel worthwhile, understood and validated? If you believe you have some helpful advice to impart, first ask, “Are you open to hearing my thoughts?” And then abide by their wishes.
  • Be a Connector – When I actively listen to my clients and friends, I find that I instantly recall the needs and desires they shared with me whenever a resource pops up that I recognize might help them. If you listen actively, you could become the answer to someone’s heartfelt dream by connecting them to the people and resources that can help them achieve it.

And as the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) and The Bible both remind us, the Good you do for others inevitably will be done unto YOU, too!

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at or call 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   

“One of the best ways to demonstrate God’s love is to listen to people.” – Bruce Larsen

My first step in choosing a topic for the Sunday blog is usually to review the past week to discover if there is a “theme” that has come up with multiple clients and/or myself. This week’s theme was definitely the importance of listening.

As a professional Coach, I have been trained to listen. To coach effectively, I should spend at least 75% of the time listening to my client and 25% (maximum) asking thought-provoking questions and suggesting tools and resources they can apply to a specific situation they are facing.   I strive to remember the credo, “You were given TWO ears and ONE mouth for a reason!”

Practicing non-judgmental, intuitive listening is vitally important in just about every role people play on a daily basis: parent, spouse, partner, sibling, friend, boss, colleague, salesperson, teacher – you name it. If we are going to be effective and successful in any area of life, we must master the art of listening deeply to others. This past week, a number of my clients shared stories of tears and triumph that demonstrated the power of listening in their lives.

One client told me she was proud of keeping her cool when an angry parent unleashed her frustration during a kids’ sports event that she was coaching. The angry mother approached her on the field and yelled at her in front of the team and other parents for not giving her child enough playing time.

My client brilliantly controlled her first impulse to defensively set her straight, choosing instead to use the tools she’d learned to maintain her own positive energy and be able to listen calmly as the mother ranted at her. “I knew she would not be able to hear what I had to say, so I just let her vent and get it out of her system, while I listened. In a few minutes, she calmed down and moved on.” After the game, several parents complimented the coach on keeping her cool.   Because of her calm listening, she became more respected and professional in the eyes of the parents, while providing the kids with a very positive role model.

Another client had been dealing with a negative experience involving lack of listening skills. There was a feeling of tension and frustration permeating her home, due to her mother clashing with her grandmother, who lives far away. The elderly grandmother has been forgetful in taking her medications, which could seriously endanger her health. But Grandma “won’t listen” to her children, who are trying to persuade her to allow them to hire household help to prepare meals and do housework. Grandma stubbornly insists she doesn’t need any help and doesn’t want a “stranger” in her house. My client said her mother “has to yell at Grandma when they talk on the phone in order to get her to listen.”

I had a very similar experience over a decade ago with my late mother after she fell and hit her head, causing profound short-term memory loss. Before that, she had been very physically fit and independent, and when she came out of the hospital after lifesaving surgery, she insisted she could still live on her own, which would have been dangerous to herself and others. We argued for weeks before she reluctantly allowed herself to enter a wonderful assisted living facility with a caring staff she came to love over the four years she lived there.

I learned from my mother’s experience that aging creates unsettling changes that are as challenging as puberty, divorce, job loss, the death of a family member or any other profound life change. Elders who were once the strong, wise matriarch or patriarch suddenly realize they have become dependent on the loved ones who used to come to THEM for help and advice. This is both scary and humiliating for many people.

My suggestion to my client was that she and her mother could try listening to grandma with compassion, instead of arguing with her. Of course, they must ultimately do what they believe is in her best interest. Yelling over her attempts to express her fears and frustration will not empower her to embrace change. But if grandma is allowed to fully express her point of view and feels that she has been heard, she will likely have an easier time making this difficult transition.

One of our deepest desires as human beings is to be heard, understood and accepted for who we are. We need to feel free to express our true feelings without being judged by those we care about. The best way to persuade someone else of your point of view is to first listen carefully them and then to confirm that you accurately understand theirs. Children need to feel listened to by their parents, spouses need to feel understood by their partners, employees need to know their suggestions have been heard by the boss, and customers need to believe the company representative understands their needs.

Listening is THE most powerful tool we have for bridging the divides between cultures, generations and individuals. It is a priceless skill that can only be mastered by practicing it every day with everyone you encounter. You will not believe how popular and successful you will become if you do!

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching! It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached! And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift! 

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at or call toll-free 888-503-8145.


“You’ll see it when you believe it.” – Wayne Dyer

As you will recall, last week’s blog was about using the powerful, enjoyable tool of visualization to create a vivid picture of something you want in your mind, as the first step toward making it a reality in your world. Children and adolescents use their imaginations like this naturally and frequently.

Have you ever found yourself staring out the window on a beautiful day, lost in happy thoughts about something you are looking forward to doing over the weekend? That “daydreaming” is a type of visualization. You can SEE vividly in your “mind’s eye” some fun activity you anticipate doing, while your body is actually sitting at your desk (possibly with a report due by 5:00 PM).

Of course, many of our daydreams never manifest because they are simple fantasies. Still, it’s fun to imagine yourself walking the red carpet, winning the lottery, or driving a red Ferrari! Nevertheless, some goals we visualize CAN become real, depending on the level of our commitment to having them. If you are willing to put your consistent FOCUS, BELIEF and ACTION into it, you can eventually reach it.

Visualizing is a very natural human activity and it is also the first step in turning a thought into an actual thing that is real in the material world. Thomas Edison reportedly failed to invent the light bulb 300 times before he succeeded. But as he kept imagining different possibilities, eventually his subconscious led him to create a version that would WORK in the real world.

Unfortunately, most of us have been taught not be gullible and easily fooled. We grew up with the Skeptic’s battle cry: “I’ll believe it when I see it!” But as Wayne Dyer asserts, the opposite is actually true: By BELIEVING you see it in your “mind’s eye” first through visualization, your subconscious mind is given the blueprint to help you eventually SEE it manifested in the “real” world.

Every Big Goal that is eventually reached must begin in the same place: Getting clear on what you WANT. You can’t take ACTION toward a goal unless God/The Universe and your own subconscious mind both know exactly what you want. One way to get clear is to describe the outcome you want as a positive affirmation. Think of an affirmation as an intention statement describing what you want to have.

Your affirmation/intention MUST be stated in the present tense, as though it is already real. In fact, it IS “real” now, in the sense that it exists in your imagination, just as the light bulb existed in Edison’s imagination first and then became a material prototype.

It’s not self-deluded to state what you want to have as though it’s already REAL – That’s what will cause your subconscious mind (which believes everything you tell it) to start cranking up your imagination and creativity so you can take the actions to invent that light bulb or get that red sports car!

One of my clients has been in a tough financial situation for many years. She is the sole custodian and sole support of two special-needs children who require most of her time and energy beyond what she gives to her demanding job. Her salary barely covers their necessities, with little left over for “luxuries” like new clothes for herself.

Given her present reality, I have tremendous respect for her willingness to try to imagine something different for her life. Right now, she doesn’t appear to have any options open to her for creating significantly more financial prosperity, yet she is willing to state each day what she WANTS, as though it is her reality NOW. We created an affirmation for her to support this NEW reality: “I receive regular, reliable financial support based on my instrinsic value, in addition to what I do, and I am SO grateful!”

When she says that affirmation aloud daily, she gives her subconscious mind and God/The Universe a clear blueprint for what she wants. The more vividly she SEES and FEELS that to be true in her subconscious mind, the faster it will bring her the means to make it real.

A meaningful example of unexpected abundance came to her quickly after she began saying this affirmation. Every year, her company puts on a black-tie Holiday party for the staff and every year, she feels chagrined to be wearing an inexpensive or re-purposed dress, rather than a fancy cocktail dress like the other women. This year, she focused solely on what she WANTED, which was to feel beautifully dressed and confident at the party.

Her birthday was a couple of weeks before the big soiree, and out of the blue, a friend sent her a gift check that was exactly enough to buy herself a beautiful cocktail dress (on sale for the Holidays, of course!), matching shoes and earrings. She sent me a picture of herself taken at the party in her lovely outfit, glowing and radiating a beautiful smile.

That manifestation was just the start of many financial windfalls and unexpected help that have come to her since. Last week, she courageously asked her boss for a raise, laying out a strong case for her value to the company and the considerable responsibilities that have been added to her position over the past year. Even after saying, “We hadn’t planned on giving anyone a raise this year,” the boss promised to consider her request carefully.

Affirming (stating) and visualizing her value, my client believes she has a good chance of getting a much-needed raise. However, as she now has real-world evidence to believe, even if she doesn’t, God/The Universe and her subconscious mind will conspire together to come up with another route to her prosperity.

She knows that the HOW doesn’t matter. She already BELIEVES her prosperity is growing – and soon she will SEE it in her checkbook!

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching! It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached! And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift! 

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at or 888-503-8145.


“Visualize this thing you want. See it, feel it, believe in it.   Make your mental blueprint and begin.” – Robert Collier

One of the most powerful tools for turning any Big Dream into a reality is absolutely free and simple for anyone to use. In fact, I bet you did it naturally throughout your childhood; back then, you called it “daydreaming.” I have learned how to refine this amazingly effective technique and now teach all my clients how to use it to help them reach their goals with greater speed and ease.

If you use this tool regularly, it will unleash the power of your #1 manifestation ally, your own subconscious mind, to guide you to make even your biggest Dreams come true.

Here’s how you can visualize for maximum success:

1) Close your eyes. You can do this during the day, as though you are about to meditate, and at night when your head’s on the pillow and you are relaxing into sleep.

2) Use your imagination to see in your “mind’s eye” the thing want to have — your dream car, dream home, perfect career, deluxe tropical vacation, new romantic partner, a specific sum of money – anything you are committed to having. It’s fine that you don’t know HOW to get it right now, because that’s not YOUR job. Your job is just to be as specific and detailed as possible about exactly what you want.

Some things can be easily imagined, such as your dream car. You should know the make and model you want, the color of the exterior and interior and all the bells and whistles on the dashboard and other interior features. If you don’t, you really should go to a dealer and test drive your dream car!   But if that’s not practical, at least go online and find a detailed picture.   Be sure it shows exactly the color that you want because if you want a red one and you test drive or study a picture of a black one, you are going to get a BLACK one!

For something like your Dream Job, you may not know exactly what industry you want to be in. That’s perfectly OK. Simply set up your visualization so that you are visualizing the kind of environment you want to work in – whether it’s a big, bright corner office with a city view or somewhere in the great outdoors. You can imagine friendly co-workers laughing with you as you walk together down the hall without being able to see the details of their faces. For your Mr. or Ms. Right visualization, you might set up a scene you would like to live out with them, such as the two of you holding hands and walking side by side down the beach surrounded by a glorious sunset.

3) Simply using your sense of sight isn’t enough, though. You must get ALL of your other physical senses involved in your visualization: Imagine TOUCHING the buttery leather seats, SMELLING that unique new-car smell, HEARING the quiet rumble of the engine while your favorite tunes play on the state-of-the-art sound system. Make it an IMAX, Sensurround kind of an imagination scenario!

CRITICAL NOTE: John Assaraf, one of the Master Manifesters featured in The Secret DVD about using the Law of Attraction to manifest big dreams, teaches this important tip for success: He says an “amateur” would visualize himself driving his dream car as though he were someone else, standing across the street looking at “himself” driving. Unfortunately, that doesn’t really make your subconscious mind BELIEVE your dream is REAL. And it must BELIEVE it is real in order to help you get it.

The way your brain is accustomed to seeing the real world around you is looking through YOUR eyeballs. So you should practice visualizing yourself driving your dream car as though you are inside your own body, sitting in the driver’s seat. You can see your hands on the steering wheel, your knees below you, and your foot on the gas, but can’t see your own face (unless you are smiling at yourself in the rear view mirror, of course). That’s how the “masters” like Assaraf visualize their way to success.

4) Here’s the true “trigger” that gets your new car Dream moving toward manifestation: Besides engaging all your physical senses in your visualization, you also have to FEEL it emotionally. How would you FEEL if you really did have that car? You undoubtedly would feel JOY, FREEDOM, FULFILLMENT, and most of all, you would feel GRATEFUL, wouldn’t you? You truly can conjure up those feelings (with a little practice) just by using your imagination.

If you do this visualization technique for just five minutes or so twice a day — once in the morning before you leave the house and again as you drift off to sleep, you are telling your subconscious mind with your FOCUS and your FEELINGS that this Big Dream is “real” to you. And it will do everything it can to make it a reality in your life so the men in the white coats won’t come and put you in the straightjacket!

You see, your subconscious mind believes everything you tell it. It can’t take a joke, it doesn’t understand sarcasm or irony. You tell it something is real, and it BELIEVES you. And your subconscious mind is also like a giant computer that has stored away absolutely everything you have ever experienced, heard, seen, read – ALL of that is in the “vault” in your brain, just waiting to be called up when needed.

You can’t always call up this deeply stored information with your conscious mind. But if you set it to the task and then relax, your subconscious mind can retrieve the facts you need. And it can also “connect the dots” of all that varied information to figure out some NEW and innovative ways to go after something that your conscious mind never would have thought of. That’s how thoughts become things — through the inspiration that comes from the subconscious mind.

Dr. of Psychology and author Wayne Dyer, who is the #1 Master Manifester in my opinion, says that whatever we fall asleep thinking about stays in our subconscious for the next four hours. Your subconscious works and works on it, until it finds a solution for whatever conundrum you are thinking about. That’s why you can wake up with an inspired new approach to a problem you have been wrestling with or in the shower, suddenly remember exactly where you left a lost object. Your subconscious can also guide you with new, inspired ideas to help you make that little red sports car a reality.

One of my clients recently was looking for a nanny/housekeeper to help with her young daughter. One day, she saw an unexpected “vision” in her mind of a smiling middle-aged Hispanic woman, standing behind her kitchen island, happily preparing a meal while listening to Spanish songs on the radio. She couldn’t explain why, but she just FELT in her heart this woman was going to be her nanny/housekeeper.

She interviewed several applicants by phone, but none of them was a good fit.   Finally, she spoke to one who sounded perfect and my client invited her to come to the house for an interview.   My client was surprised to find that she looked very much like the middle-aged Latina in her vision. After a great interview, she hired her.

On the woman’s first day, my client walked into the kitchen and found her happily working behind the kitchen island with her lively Spanish songs playing on the radio. “It was exactly how I had pictured it,” she told me.   “It’s positively freaky!”

No, it’s visualization!

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching! It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached! And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift!

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at or 888-503-8145.








“There is more to us than we know.  If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives we will be unwilling to settle for less.” – Kurt Hahn

Last week, I shared with you that living through a wide variety of good and bad experiences over the past 60 years has taught me some valuable Big Life Lessons that seem to make my life go more smoothly and help me more easily create what I WANT nowadays.

In the hopes that these insights may save YOU some time and trouble, I am sharing them with you throughout the rest of January. May they encourage you to reflect on and celebrate wisdom you have gained from you OWN life experiences, as well.

If you missed last week’s Big Life Lessons #10 – #8, you can find them on my website in the blog archives. Here are the next four of my Top Ten Big Life Lessons:

7) Put yourself first.

It is critical that you allow yourself a bit of “me” time regularly to replenish your body, mind and spirit.  You can’t do that if you live only to take care of others. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself.  If you don’t, you will soon find that you have no reserves left to contribute to others, let alone yourself.

Being called “Nice” by everyone around you is really a code word for “People Pleaser.”  I know because I was a Champion People Pleaser in my 20s and 30s.  I desperately needed to be liked and appreciated by everyone I came in contact with because my own sense of self-worth was shaky. So I would volunteer to serve on every committee, take on every extra unpaid work assignment, and spend my weekends working on other peoples’ projects just to hear them say, “Thanks. We couldn’t have done it without you.”  (And sometimes they didn’t even say that.)

Stop spending ALL of your precious time and energy helping others pursue their dreams and start pursuing YOURS. Just say, “No thank you” and the volunteer committee will find another “nice” person to take your place, I guarantee it.

6) You are stronger than you think.

You’ve weathered all of life’s storms up to now and you’ve had every resource you needed to do so.  How do I know that?  Because if there were ever one single moment when you DIDN’T have all of the inner and outer resources you needed to survive, you wouldn’t be here.

Do not despair, no matter how bleak things may look at the moment.  The cavalry is coming.  Press on, doing your Best through the crisis du jour and believe that you will make it through. Soon, the sun will shine again and it will all be behind you.

5) Believe in yourself.

What others think of you is none of your business.  They can’t live your life for you. When you feel uncertain about a big decision you have to make, by all means seek the objective counsel of someone trustworthy who is wise and qualified to advise you. But do not waste time and create inner confusion by polling the audience for their random opinions on your issue.

Your parents, friends, family, boss, customers, and acquaintances are not living YOUR life. You don’t need their approval to follow your own Inner Wisdom. Never let the well-meaning but biased opinions of others stop you from pursuing your passions and doing what you know is right for YOU.

Instead, go within and spend time in prayer or meditation. Get quiet and listen for the Still Small Voice within you that is God/The Universe whispering Divine guidance to your Higher Self. Learn to rely on your own intuition and trust yourself to make the right decision.

4) You can’t control others.

On the flip side, you must stop judging others’ decisions and trying to run THEIR program.  It’s not your job to try to save them from making valuable mistakes and learning their own Life Lessons.  Your children, partner, siblings, friends and parents each have their own unique Life Path to follow and their own personal Big Life Lessons to learn along the way.

Allow those you love the same freedom to fall on their face, learn from their mistakes and fully express their own uniqueness as you want for yourself.  You don’t know everything that is going on in the life of someone you are close to.  You do not know what is “best” for them.

We each have enough to keep us plenty busy just living our own life. Step back and allow the Universe to watch over those you love and help them directly.  In the wonderful words of my favorite prosperity teacher, Edwene Gaines, “God doesn’t have any grandchildren.”

NEXT WEEK: My Top Three Big Life Lessons!

*********** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ************

TIME IS GETTING SHORT but it’s not too late! You can still give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique New Year’s gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching. 

It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for awhile, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

Just have your friends contact me at 888-503-8145 or  no later than Friday, January 31 to schedule their appointment.  We can hold their F*R*E*E coaching session anytime through February, but they must contact me by the end of this month to schedule a time.

“One of our greatest gifts is our intuition.  It is a sixth sense we all have; we just need to learn to tap into it and trust it.” – Donna Karan 

All human beings have it.  Our intuition — otherwise known as a “gut feeling” — seems to be a factory-installed inner guidance system that lets us instantly sync up with the Universal Creative Mind to receive the perfect answer to our every need – if we choose to follow it.  The dictionary defines this seemingly-magical state as “being aware of or knowing something without having to discover or perceive it…” 

When you face a critical decision, your unique, personal intuition is the greatest tool you have for making the right choice for YOU — whether it’s “Should I get on the parking garage elevator alone with this stranger late at night?  Something just doesn’t feel right in the pit of my stomach, but I don’t want look silly, or to hurt his feelings!” Or, “I wonder which of these two job offers I should I take?  They both have some big pluses and a few drawbacks.  How do I decide?” 

I believe that what we call intuition is actually another manifestation of the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) in action.  When you follow your intuition, you are listening to and acting on a subtle message directly from the Universe, telling you exactly HOW to get that which is for your Highest Good.  But when you choose to override that inkling you have for purely “logical” reasons, you run the risk of ending up with something that you DON’T want. 

The problem with intuition is that it is sometimes difficult to get a clear message from your GUT – or to allow yourself to act on it — when your HEAD gets in the way.  

Two of my coaching clients recently had an opportunity to follow their intuition.  One did and one didn’t, and their very different outcomes reinforced for me the importance of following our inner guidance. That is why I wanted to share their lessons with you, in hopes of helping you to tune in more easily to your OWN intuition. 

My first client is a civilian working on a non-combat military base in the Middle East.  Normally very affable and spiritually-oriented, “Terry” is slow to anger and quick to diffuse a volatile situation with humor or understanding words. Nevertheless, being ex-military himself, he is also a realist and is well aware of the danger signs that someone in uniform is under stress.  

After a minor, annoying run-in with an office co-worker left him feeling irritated, Terry decided to go to the staff lounge for a cup of coffee, something he rarely does during the work day.  He told me later, “I don’t know why, but something inside me told me to hurry up – to just get my coffee and get OUT of there.  But I wasn’t feeling like hurrying back to my annoying co-worker, so I just hung out there for a couple of extra minutes, slowly stirring creamer into my coffee.” 

Soon, out of the corner of his eye he saw a man in uniform enter the room.  Even turned away from him, Terry could just feel a negative vibe coming from the guy. “I didn’t even know him.  Never saw him before in my life.  But he started banging cupboards louder than he needed to, and his body language just told me he was angry.”

At that point, Terry decided to clear out.  As he turned to walk past him, the other guy made a slight move, reaching out his arm like he meant to jostle Terry, or even to strike him.  “Don’t even TOUCH me!” the guy growled, followed by a string of words in Spanish that Terry couldn’t understand, but whose tone was clear. 

Terry had to make a split-second decision about whether to respond and risk escalating the volatile situation, or simply walk away.  Immediately, he thought of losing his great job – of all he’d worked for going up in smoke. In a heartbeat, he decided it just wasn’t worth it, and so chose to walk away….but not before tossing one snide remark over his shoulder as he exited the room: “You are going to die POOR!”  

The senselessness of the near-altercation and his disappointment with himself for uttering those petty words shook Terry for days afterward. “I KNEW I shouldn’t be in that room! I was given a clear direction to GET OUT.  If I had followed it, I would have completely avoided that crazy guy and not had this spoil the rest of my week.  Why didn’t I follow my hunch?”

The answer, we agreed, was undoubtedly that Terry’s mind was still clouded with annoyance at his co-worker, which prevented him from tuning into his own inner guidance system at first.  Still, I pointed out, it’s a good thing that he DID follow his gut when he realized that the volatile soldier could create some REAL trouble for him. It just would have been so much more pleasant for him if he’d chosen to LISTEN to his intuition and exit the room three minutes earlier! 

My second client, a creative, hard-driving entrepreneur, faced a much different problem with her intuition. She said she wished she had some clear sense of inner guidance, but she had no clue about what was the best option to follow in an important decision regarding the company she owns. She and her staff had been preparing for a couple of months to put on a lavish celebration for her distributors, the purpose of which was to unveil many new enhancements and an exciting new direction for the company. 

She intended for this to be a fun event – a glamorous “party” atmosphere, combined with a serious business focus, meant to inspire and motivate her distributors.  But in making a series of small decisions along the way, “It just got away from me,” she said.  She had over-committed to a big, expensive venue, many frills including champagne and door prizes, outside speakers and entertainers. Still it would all have been worth it — except that she had sold only HALF enough tickets to justify holding at all, and the person she’d hired to secure some big sponsors to cover the costs hadn’t gotten a single one to commit.  And now the event was just two weeks away. 

She said, “I fired the marketing person, and I know I could do a much better job of it myself.  But I still have so much to do with the program itself, and the materials….I know if I drop everything I should be doing to get on the phones — and send my staff out to round up more vendors — we could probably get more, as well as sell some more tickets.  But what’s the point if I get everyone there and I don’t have the new stuff ready to show them? That was the original REASON for this event, after all! I really can’t do both jobs, and we’re running out of time!” 

The difficult choice she had to make was whether to try to work around the clock for two weeks, and hope to be able to pull off an event that was bound to be much less than she wanted it to be, or whether to postpone it and live with the financial losses on the rented venue and items already purchased. And what message would that send to her sales force, she wondered? It seemed like either choice had a potentially severe downside. “I just can’t decide what’s the RIGHT thing to do!” she said in exasperation. 

So I asked her to do a “gut check” and say aloud what it was telling her.  “Nothing!” she said. “ I’m so confused, I’m not getting anything!” Clearly, her fear about the consequences of her decision had her too much in her head to be able to listen to her gut. 

That’s when I remembered a simple trick – I don’t even know when or where I learned it – to uncover what your intuition is trying to tell you, when you can’t get present to it. I asked her if she had a quarter.  She did.  “OK, since you can’t decide, let’s just let fate do it for you.  Flip the coin, and we’ll say that if it comes up heads, you go through with the event, and if it’s tails, you cancel.  Will you agree to abide by fate’s decision?”  She said she would and flipped the coin.  It came up tails. 

“OK, you are going to cancel the party,” I said. Then I asked her the magic question: “How do you feel about that?”  She exclaimed, “ I feel relieved!  I feel GREAT!” 

Well, that’s the real point of the coin toss, I told her.  It’s not what it tells you to DO that matters, it’s what it reveals about how you authentically FEEL about the decision.  If she had felt somewhat nauseated about canceling the event, for example, it would have revealed that the RIGHT choice, according her “gut,” was actually to go through with it.  Instead, her feeling of RELIEF clearly indicated that canceling the event was what her inner guidance knew was the RIGHT thing for her.  

And it was.  The cash loss for canceling was relatively small — especially compared to the food, entertainment and other items she hadn’t yet paid for.  And when she found out that the venue was willing to turn her deposit into gift cards that she could give her staff, clients and distributors, she saw it as a “win-win.”  She made personal phone calls to every one of the distributors who had already purchased tickets, offering them a refund and promising that the event will be re-scheduled for the near future when it is 100% ready to be done RIGHT. They completely understood and were flattered that the company owner called them personally to explain. 

So the next time you are faced with a difficult decision where you really don’t know what the right answer is – the pro’s and con’s seem equal in your head and you don’t have a clear channel open to receive the answer that the infinite wisdom of the Universe is trying to send you, remember that you can always access your intuition with the simple flip of a coin. Whichever way it lands, your immediately FEELING of relief or disappointment will tell you what the right answer truly is for you. 

Heads, you win….Tails, you STILL win! Hey, you’ve got to love those odds!


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