Limiting Beliefs


September 17, 2017

“The moment you speak something – good or bad – you give birth to it as an idea, an expectation, a desire.  You have planted the seed that will, sooner or later, grow into the results you will reap.” – Julie David-Colan and Lee J. Colan

In last week’s blog, I described HOW I got the idea of teaching Jen Sincero’s great new book, You Are a Bad Ass at Making Money, as a summer tele-course to help my clients and their network marketing Teams (and any of my blog readers who were interested, too!) to overcome summer inertia and reach their Big Goals in record time. I shared with you that the first characteristic of a Big How is that it often comes to you out of the blue in a surprising form.

All of my clients were excited about the summer course idea and it also seemed like a perfect How for ME because I needed another income stream to get me through the tough time of year when many of my private coaching clients would “take a break” for a month or two. It was a Big How because it was clearly a Win-Win solution to the summer slump for both my clients and me!

Big How Characteristic #2:  It often starts out as a small idea, but soon, the details start to take shape and then you realize that you must then ACT on them.

UH OH! As I was speaking my summer course idea into existence and getting enthusiastic responses, my clients’ questions made me realize that there were a LOT of details that must be handled efficiently for the course to be ready in a few short weeks. I made a long To-Do list, which turned out to be just the beginning of the Big, Fat Summer Adventure that 52 participants and I were about to embark on.

Fortunately, as Jen Sincero promises, “The Universe will always send you what you need.  It wants you to succeed, to grow and blossom and shine.”

After I set the dates and began promoting “Prosperity Summer Camp” in my weekly blog, The Universe gave me one simple idea that proved to be a HUGE shortcut to success:  I phoned my friend and mentor, Leslie Zann. She is an expert trainer for the direct sales/network marketing industry whose sage advice saved me lots of time and possible mistakes regarding the number of sessions, how much to charge, how to handle the registration and payment details and what platform to use for delivery. But in order to follow Leslie’s wise counsel, I had to face the next characteristic of a Big How.

Big How Characteristic #3: FEAR!  Jen says, “Your role is to keep your mindset strong, open and ready to receive.  And to do a whole lotta stuff you’ve never done before.  Especially stuff that scares the living crap out of you and hurls you outside your comfort zone….When it comes to changing your life, if you’re not scared, you’re doing something wrong.” 

Boy, is Jen right! All of Leslie’s advice seemed fairly easy to follow except one important piece. When I told her that I planned to use my old familiar voice-only tele-seminar format, Leslie exclaimed, “Oh, no! You MUST use Zoom!” Technology, it seems, has advanced a bit since I did my last group course several years ago.  Now, most of my clients use video chatting for their Team gatherings and trainings.

Gulp!  Video conferencing was definitely outside of my wheelhouse. My Big Fears about using Zoom were two-fold:

  • I am used to looking at my notes while I speak on the phone. I asked Leslie how I could do that on video and still maintain eye contact with my audience. “Just put your notes on the desk in front of you,” she assured me. “You can glance down from time to time. No problem.”  I was not wholly convinced that I could pull that off smoothly.
  • But an even bigger concern – OK, FEAR – was that I do not generally find technology to be easy to use. I was worried that Zoom might be too complicated for me to master in a few short weeks. Leslie assured me that Zoom’s tech support is great.  She said I could ask them anything and have them walk me through it.  That turned out to be her BEST advice of all.  A couple of nice young tech reps at Zoom and I are now Besties.

Like most fears that threaten to stop us from allowing the perfect Big How to lead us to a Big Goal, mine turned out to be mere Limiting Beliefs. After a few practice sessions, I mastered all the basic Zoom controls needed to manage and record my presentations. If I had remained in my safe little tele-seminar cocoon, I am sure most of the course participants would have been bored silly.  As it was, even my private coaching clients who took the course said it was great to finally SEE me and assured me that I did fine, both with Zoom AND my eye contact.

Which brings us to the final characteristic of an effective Big How, which I learned while creating and delivering the Prosperity Summer Camp course:

Big How Characteristic #4: It is far BETTER than any answer that we would have come up with ourselves, because it makes us GROW, while getting us to our Big Goal.  The initial tiny spark that began my long journey to spending my entire summer delivering a webinar on the Law of Attraction was my sincere desire to help my clients stay on track pursuing their Big Goals AND an irresistible, burning desire to share with everyone I possibly could Jen Sincero’s amazing book that can teach them how to create the unlimited prosperity and success each of us deserves. And before I knew it, step-by-step, the Big How began to take shape.

If I had let my Limiting Beliefs and fears stop me from using the perfect delivery method that God/The Universe sent me, 52 participants and I would never have gained the invaluable knowledge and had the personal breakthroughs we all experienced.

I asked each participant to email me the outcome of the Big Goal they were trying to manifest by the end of the course.  A number said they were amazed that they actually DID reach their goals – or nearly so — in six short weeks, and that their Big Hows were as surprising and delightful as my own.

Even those who did not reach their Big Goal by August 31 said they were grateful for their major personal breakthroughs – especially in overcoming fears and Limiting Beliefs and giving up their attachment to their OWN limited hows. Yes, Jen, we DID “succeed, grow, blossom and shine!”

As it turned out, the REAL gold in our Big, Fat Summer Adventure together was the growth spurt in our BELIEF. As Jen Sincero says, “Faith is the rocket that you ride into uncharted territory to get to your wildest dreams….You must believe that everything you desire really is available to you and that you possess all the tools, power, and permission to manifest it.” 

Amen, Jen! Amen.

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

 

August 20, 2017

“Dream big dreams, but never forget that realistic short-term goals are the keys to your success.” — Mac Anderson

As the first annual Prosperity Summer Camp webinar completes this week, this lightly-edited blog from spring 2015 provides a very timely message for all the “Happy Campers” taking part, as well as anyone who longs to make their Big Dreams come true more quickly and easily.  I hope you enjoy it (or enjoy it again)!

March 15, 2015

“Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it.  I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.” – Charles Kettering

 I believe that any Big Goal is possible to achieve, no matter what anyone else says or how improbably short the time frame may seem.  However, if you want to harness the power of the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) to help you reach your goals with greater speed and ease, you must learn to distinguish empowering “Possibility Thinking” from mere “Pie in the Sky” wishful daydreaming.

Are Your Beliefs Limiting You?

A vital aspect of Practical Prosperity Coaching ™ is helping my clients to recognize when they are holding unconscious Limiting Beliefs about their Big Goal. A Limiting Belief is a limitation we automatically, unconsciously place on what we think is possible to achieve.  We must remember that our beliefs are not the “truth,” but simply our interpretation of the facts, based on our own past experience or someone else’s. A Limiting Belief holds you back from pursuing a Big Goal, while an Empowering Belief encourages you to go after it with gusto.

Working daily with the Law of Attraction over the past 13 years to manifest my own Big Goals and help over 650 coaching clients manifest theirs, I have come to believe that Big Goals ARE possible to achieve, provided you are willing to do three things in order to put the Law of Attraction into action to make the seemingly “impossible” possible.  Unless you are willing to follow these three “Keys to Success, you are simply fantasizing that your Big Goal is going to magically drop from the heavens into your lap.

Don’t Buy Others’ Limiting Beliefs about Your Goal

One of my past clients demonstrated in textbook fashion how following these three Keys to Success can help you manifest any Big Goal in record time.  “Dorothy” was a young professional with a high-paying day job who dreamed of turning her part-time business into a full-time career.  Her compelling “Why” for pursuing this Big Goal was a strong desire to spend more time with her new husband than her intense day job allowed, while still maintaining a good income.

After analyzing her Network Marketing company’s pay plan, she determined that reaching the Director Level would enable her to quit her day job and start living the life she dreamed of.  When we began coaching, she had just 30 days left to reach Director by the fastest, easiest route. After that, the requirements became much tougher, so she decided to go for it that month with everything she had.

Her well-meaning upline Leaders told her that “statistically” she would have to talk to 100 people about the products and/or the business opportunity in order to reach her Big Goal.  She knew she could not realistically expect to do her 50-60 hour a week job AND talk to 100 prospects in 30 days.

So, I asked her to challenge the Limiting Belief that she absolutely MUST talk to 100 people in order to recruit the business partners and do the product sales volume required to reach Director. I reminded her that this statistic was simply an “average” of what it had taken other consultants to reach this goal.  I asked her whether she thought it was possible for one individual to do better than “average” and she said, “Yes.”  Then if it is possible, did she believe that she could actually do it?  “Of course!” she replied.  Supported by her new Empowering Belief that she was capable of producing results that were far above average, she set out to fulfill each of the three Keys to Success for reaching a Big Goal in record time.

The Three Keys to Success in Manifesting

Success Key #1:  Use ALL available tools to their full advantage. We created her personalized Daily Success Script ™ and she began repeating it aloud twice a day for about 10 minutes each.  She understood that the purpose of the Success Script was to build her belief that she could do it, give her the right energy to attract the right prospects to her, and open her subconscious mind to come up with inspired new shortcuts to lead her to her goal.  She did her Success Script twice each day like clockwork, never making an excuse that she had forgotten or fallen asleep or didn’t have it with her when she needed it. She recognized that success requires Integrity and she kept her word that she would use every tool I provided to help her reach her Big Goal.

Success Key #2: Be Strategic.  You do not need to know HOW you are going to reach your Big Goal before you can begin to pursue it.  But you do have to take any and all Action Steps that you can right NOW, trusting that more guidance will be provided as you move forward. Taking massive action demonstrates that you really ARE committed to manifesting your Big Goal. That commitment energy attracts the ideal resources, people and serendipitous opportunities that will help guide you to it.

I asked Dorothy which people on her prospect list she thought had the BEST chance of saying “Yes” quickly.  She replied, “The ones I’ve already talked to at least once. The time wasn’t right for them before, but it might be NOW.” She decided to call them again and simply ask, “Is NOW a good time for you to try the products risk-free and/or to join me in the business?”

This strategy worked very well. When she told her friends about her Big Goal, quite a few were willing to help her by placing an order right then.  A few even decided to jump into the business at last.  She got through her “follow up” list much faster than she would have by making initial calls and having to explain the products or the business from scratch. She strategically went after the “low hanging fruit” and it paid off.

Success Key #3: Use your available time wisely.  Especially when pursuing a goal with a tight time frame, it’s critical to get into action quickly and work smart throughout.  Dorothy didn’t have a lot of hours available, but she made every minute count.  She talked to coworkers and made calls on her lunch hour, made more calls in the evenings, and asked several friends to host two or three home presentations on the weekends and invite their friends to come. And when she did those presentations, she was amazed at the unusually HIGH percentage of guests who approached her afterward to ask how they could get into the business.

Just before midnight on the last day of the month, Dorothy signed up her final business builder and placed her final order and was promoted to Director. When she ran her stats, she discovered that her personal success ratio for prospecting that month turned out to be much better than either the company “average” or her own past experience.

At her company’s annual convention, Dorothy received a special award for reaching Director Level faster than anyone else in her entire region that year. Soon, she quit her day job and continues to enjoy building her business and spending lots of time with her husband.

So what approach will YOU take to pursue your own Big Goals — Pie or Possibility?

PLEASE NOTE: The blog is taking the next two weeks off so my wonderful husband Rick and I can enjoy the last precious days of a Southern California Summer! A Cup of Caroll will return with an all-new blog on Sunday September 10.  Enjoy your Labor Day Weekend!

If you or your friends would like a free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top. 

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching!  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached!  And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift!

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call toll-free 888-503-8145.

 

“First we make our attitudes.  Then our attitudes make us.” – Denis Waitley

I am a big fan of CBS Sunday Morning.  I have watched the show regularly since it first aired in 1979, then hosted by the “On The Road” journalist, Charles Kuralt. I love the consistently interesting, positive and informative features, objective news updates and beautiful images it presents. After watching, I feel more hopeful about the state of the world as I begin a new week.

Last Sunday’s show included a feature story on “The Placebo Effect” that shed important light on exactly how “positive thinking” works and why it is such a powerful tool for solving our problems and reaching our dreams.  Since teaching them how to create a positive mindset is key to helping my clients reach their Big Goals, I was fascinated by the scientific findings it presented.

First, the reporter talked to a woman who had struggled with excruciating pain from Irritable Bowel Syndrome for two decades. Hoping for help, Linda signed up to participate in a very unusual study sponsored by a Boston medical center.  The study gave her three weeks’ worth of pills. But instead of testing a new medication, every participant in the study was taking placebos – pills that contain no active ingredients whatsoever.  Furthermore, everyone in the study KNEW that they were taking a placebo.

At first, Linda said she thought it was going to be a “waste of time” to take an inactive “sugar pill.”  But after her IBS symptoms began to improve within a week, she thought that “Maybe they just TOLD me it was a placebo, and it’s [really] a new medication they are trying out, and they just didn’t want me to know.” In the end, Linda and 60% of all the study participants reported noticeable relief from their physical symptoms without medication.

Of course, The Placebo Effect, as it is known, of people feeling better without a medical cause, only works in certain cases. You can’t expect to cure cancer or lower cholesterol with a placebo. Psychiatrists explain that where it has an impact is on “any symptom which the brain can modulate by itself.” About 35% of the time, people experience some relief from taking a substance that is not biologically active. Some even feel negative side effects from placebos!

We are such “highly-suggestible creatures,” says one psychiatrist, that his patients have experienced asthma attacks from just looking at pollen in a sealed jar, and showed allergic dermatitis symptoms from viewing a cat on television. Clearly, what you think about, your body can bring about.

What really caught my attention was a doctor stating that The Placebo Effect doesn’t work because we are simply imagining it. MRIs have shown that part of the brain’s “pain matrix” is activated by taking a placebo. In fact, there is a measurable rise in the production of dopamine, which dampens the body’s sensation of pain. Thus, taking a fake pill can prod the human brain to produce its own, very real, healing chemicals.

As further amazing proof that our expectations can help create our reality, one group of patients with Parkinson’s Disease in a study were given a placebo that they were told was a cheap, generic drug, while another group was given a placebo that was supposedly an expensive new medication being tested.

In both groups, a significant percentage saw measurable improvement in their tremors, but the group that was told they were taking the “expensive medicine” improved TWICE as much as the group that thought they were taking a “cheap” drug. Furthermore, the “expensive” placebo did just as well at alleviating Parkinson’s tremors as the current REAL Parkinson’s medication that chemically prods the body to produce more dopamine. One doctor involved in the study concluded, “People believed that if it was expensive, it had to be good.”

Aside from the possible medical (and skyrocketing drug price-related) benefits such studies may lead to, they also provide objective, scientific explanations for what Master Manifesters like the late Dr. Wayne Dyer have been asserting for a long, long time: Our own beliefs and expectations really DO affect what happens to us.

In my 12 years as a professional coach, more than 600 of my clients and I have demonstrated time and again that if you are willing to put the past in the past and release ALL negative expectations for your present situation, you can create a better outcome than you may have ever experienced before in similar circumstances. Positive change can also occur with someone you have habitually clashed with — IF you are willing to let go of expecting more of the same, and instead choose to believe that it is possible for them to change. If YOU can change your thoughts and expectations about them, they can change theirs and behave differently towards you.

I have developed a great tool to help the subconscious mind to accomplish this. It’s a self-coaching affirmation that I teach to all my clients (and regularly use myself) that starts with the words, “I claim, accept and expect The Best…” As The Placebo Effect proves, the essential foundation for creating a good outcome is expecting a good outcome

So it appears that the old saying, What you think about, you bring out is now a proven scientific fact. In  order to create GOOD results, you must stay laser focused on what you WANT to manifest, and not squander your brain’s enormous creative power on visualizing a Worst Case Scenario you fear. You can use the awesome power of your own brain to help you manifest the Life of Your Dreams. So, what are you waiting for?

PLEASE NOTE: It requires approximately four hours each Saturday to write, edit and post A Cup of Caroll. While it is absolutely a labor of love, I feel the need right now to focus on serving my many wonderful clients, organizing my office, and enjoying more time for relaxation and self-care.  Therefore the blog will be taking the next two weeks off and will return on Sunday November 6.  I hope my newer readers will check out the blog archives at www.practicalprosperitycoach.com  and enjoy some past editions you may have missed!

P.S. If you would like your own free subscription to receive future editions of A Cup of Caroll three Sundays a month, just go to the same website and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! *************************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com to schedule their session.

“In order to change your life and start living a new one that you’ve never lived before, your faith in miracles, and yourself, must be greater than your fear.” – found in You Are a Bad Ass by Jen Sincero

This is a slightly-edited blog that first ran in 2014.  I believe the message is still very timely and important to remember as you go after a Big Goal:

Have you ever found yourself wanting to do something that will bring you great rewards but you can’t seem to get motivated enough to pursue it?  You hate hearing yourself making the same old excuses, but you just can’t seem to get going.  You feel stuck for no real reason. Why is that?

Well, there IS a very real barrier between you and all that you really yearn for.  In my 11+ years of professional coaching, helping hundreds of clients reach their Big Goals, I’ve seen that any self-paralysis inevitably involves a Limiting Belief that is buried deep in their unconscious mind.

What is a “limiting” belief anyway?  Well, all beliefs are the same in one sense. A belief is not the “truth”; it is simply your personal interpretation of the facts based on your own experience or someone else’s.  A “limiting” belief is one that holds you back from taking the actions you must take to pursue your dreams.

Beliefs form when an event occurs — especially when similar events recur and you notice an apparent pattern — and the Inner Protector part of your Ego immediately tries to interpret what it means. It tries to figure out, “What caused this bad thing to happen?  What does it mean about me?  What does it mean about other people?  What rule can I make up so I don’t let this painful scenario happen to me again?”  This is a normal and important risk-minimizing defense mechanism the human psyche is hard-wired for.

For instance, you have a bad romantic breakup and your Inner Protector decides, “This relationship was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me! I am NEVER going to get involved with someone like that again!”  So months later, when you are introduced to a potentially great partner whose political opinion (or eyes or laugh or moustache) reminds you of The Heartbreaker’s, your Ego tries to protect you from re-living the same painful scenario by telling you, “This person is going to break my heart just like that other one did! I can’t let myself get burned twice –I have to run away NOW!” 

I recently coached two clients whose personal Limiting Beliefs were holding them back from taking positive actions that could help them reach their Big Goals.

The first client’s Big Goal was to have a happy marriage. He and his wife of just a few months were caught up in endless bickering over petty issues that neither of them really cared about. He couldn’t offer a rational reason for why neither could refrain from arguing, but attributed it to his wife’s “stubbornness.” When pressed, he admitted he was similarly inclined to dig in his heels when his opinion was challenged.

As we talked, he recalled that as a boy, whenever he was shown to be wrong, some of his family members would mock him and call him “stupid.” As a result, whenever he had to give in to someone else’s authority or opinion, he felt disrespected. He even lost jobs by arguing with supervisors, trying to prove himself “right.” His wife voicing her opinion that a particular TV show she wanted to watch was “better” than what he wanted to watch felt emasculating to him.  Their petty fights soon turned into bitter yelling matches.

In a last ditch effort to save their marriage, they went to family counseling. There, his wife recognized that she also had the experience of feeling put down for her opinions by her ex-husband.  Although she submitted to all his wishes just to placate him, her Ex expressed only contempt for her and eventually left her. So her Inner Protector created the unconscious Limiting Belief that whenever her new, loving husband requested anything contrary to what she wanted, she MUST stand her ground or she would lose her sense of self again and have her heart broken once more.

Once they both recognized that they were arguing with each other because of old Limiting Beliefs their Egos created in response to past relationships, they were able to let down their defenses and relate to each other as the loving, giving individuals they truly are.  They no longer yell and fight, but calmly discuss their differences of opinion and work together to create solutions.

In her first year in a successful network marketing company my second client’s team of business partners grew very quickly. But over the past year, her organization has been shrinking, along with her paycheck and dreams of eventual financial freedom for her family.  In fact, she hasn’t sponsored a new team member in over a year.  When I asked her why, she told me a year ago, her strongest business builder left for another opportunity and took most of her best people with her. Even worse, the former Teammate was a close personal friend who has now has broken off all contact with her. “It broke my heart,” she said.

The Limiting Belief stopping her from re-building her earlier success was obvious: If she sponsored another go-getter who could make her team a success, they might leave and break her heart all over again. That potential pain was just too much for her Inner Protector to allow her to risk, so she stayed mired in excuses about being too tired and not having enough hours in the day to re-start her business, although she had built it before under the exact same conditions.

But here’s the great news about beliefs: Since we make them up ourselves, we have the power to CHANGE them whenever we want!  We can simply choose a new, Empowering Belief that does not drag our past into our future. Beliefs are not “good” or “bad” — but neither are they neutral.  Every belief you create will either hold you back or empower you to pursue your Big Dreams. Your past experience cannot doom you to future defeat – only your FEAR of recreating the past can do that.

Remember, prosperity is more than money and riches.  Retired minister Rev. Margaret has a great definition: “Prosperity is living in a state of TOTAL well-being, which includes being happy, healthy and enjoying great relationships. To create true prosperity, we must let go of what no longer serves us so we can move toward the greater Good that God has waiting for us.”

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.

“Your success depends mainly upon what you think of yourself and whether you believe in yourself.” – William Boetcker

I didn’t have to look far for the topic for this week’s blog.  It kept recurring among my clients last week and it is the subject of a collection of articles published by the Unity church entitled You Are Enough.

Two of my clients had their phones die for a time this week.  Both admitted to feeling a secret sense of relief because they could not be held responsible for not working their businesses.  One of them was at the beach for a week with her family and was able to spend some guilt-free time playing with her kids and just relaxing, while the other, with a few precious days off from her day job, had time to play with her daughter and just “float in the pool.” The latter confessed that she had actually contemplated not coming to her coaching call because she didn’t want to admit to me that she had been “unproductive” this week.

I told them both that they shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what they really wanted to do.  Their worth was not defined by how productive they were being.  Their self-worth should come from knowing that they are unique and special and valuable because of WHO THEY ARE, not what they DO.

As a Personal Success Coach, my job is to help my clients get whatever they want in life.  The Big Goal they choose to pursue is up to them – greater prosperity, a fitter body, a loving relationship or a successful business.  Nobody, including me, can tell them what their heartfelt goals should be.  Nor should they put undue pressure on themselves to reach those goals at the expense of having life balance, fun and fulfillment.  If they become so driven to succeed that pursuing their goal feels like a burden, I recommend taking a step back to examine their true motivation.

Many people have a strong “Why” for pursuing a goal, especially a financial goal.  One of my clients wants to succeed at her business so her mother can retire from her job.  Several want their spouses to be able to quit their jobs to pursue their dreams or spend more time with their family.  Some are motivated to financially support a cause they care deeply about. Those are all great reasons for consistently doing activities that will get them closer to their goals with a sense of joy and enthusiasm.

But I have seen some people approach their daily tasks with a teeth-gritted, “this is hard, but I MUST do it” mindset and energy. I believe they are actually driven by the idea that they must prove their value through their achievements.  Their sense of self-worth depends on outer successes and the approval of others.

One of my clients recently shared a journaling she had done to explore her Limiting Belief that “If I give it my all and fail, my life has been a waste.”  This was her Ego’s internal Worst Case Scenario about not reaching the level of success in her business that she wanted.  In the course of her self-exploration, she had the Ah-Ha Moment, as Oprah calls it, that she doesn’t remember her father saying “I love you” very often when she was growing up.  But she does remember him frequently saying, “I am so proud of you.”

Thus, her father’s pride in her accomplishments became her Ego’s path to “earning” the unconditional love she truly craved. She wrote, “I think this has sort of made me think that if I can’t do something that makes a splash, it’s not worth doing and certainly not worth talking about.  So I find myself striving for that over-achiever status.  I feel like anything less is pointless and even something to feel shameful about, so I just don’t talk about it.”

Being human, I am sure each of us feels or has felt at some time that we are not good enough. For some, it’s about appearance:  “I’m not…young enough, pretty enough, thin enough…” to be worthy of receiving unconditional love and acceptance from those I care about.

For others, like me, it’s about our performance: “I didn’t go to the gym.  I didn’t get an A.  I didn’t win the competition.  I didn’t put on the perfect birthday party for my child.”  Therefore, I suck.

The truth is, your inherent value doesn’t increase or decrease with age, beauty, fitness level, accomplishments, job productivity or salary.

As minister Joel Osteen puts it, “You are the apple of God’s eye” simply because you exist. If you are alive on Planet Earth, you are enough.  In fact, you are PRICELESS.  Otherwise, you are claiming that only the pretty, thin, A students, celebrities and sports stars are worthy of God’s love, their own self-love and the love of people whose opinion matters. Then what about the rest of us?

I believe there is no swimsuit competition in Heaven – or here on Earth, for that matter. As the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. so eloquently said, we should not be judged by the color of our skin (or any other external factor), but by the content of our character.

So if you long to take a few hours or days to just “float in the pool,” you should do it.  Do what your heart calls you to do.  When you are working, give it your BEST.  And when you want to play or relax, enjoy and be fully present to it, without guilt or shame.

I urge you to make this your daily mantra: I am not my job title or accomplishments.  I am whole, complete and perfect, just as I am. I am the apple of God’s eye and I am ENOUGH.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.

 

 

 

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds: your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” – Patanjali

Today, Spring officially begins in the Northern Hemisphere.  As life blooms anew around us, we get “Spring Fever” — the urge to shake off the winter doldrums and begin pursuing our dreams with renewed energy and passion.

So it’s fitting that we have spent the month examining the common Limiting Beliefs that “It’s too late” or “You’re too old” to reach your Big Goals. Because the ultimate effects on your life are unknown, even positive changes can look like potential threats to your mental, emotional or physical well-being. While these Limiting Beliefs are generally far from the truth, the Inner Protector part of your Ego plants them in your consciousness to dissuade you from taking steps to reach your goals, believing it is keeping you safe by keeping you stuck.

Last week, I shared with you the inspiring story of how one of my clients refused to let the “Your Too Old” story and the long odds of success stop her from winning a coveted place in the New York Marathon, which she will run this November to celebrate a milestone birthday and open the next chapter of her life. Now, I want to share with you two equally inspiring stories of women who also overcame these two insidious Limiting Beliefs.

A full-time wife and mother for over twenty years, “Elsie” escaped her emotionally-abusive marriage as soon as her children were grown. When she came to me for coaching, she had a part-time job and lived with a female roommate in order to make ends meet. But Elsie dreamed of finding a rewarding career to pursue that would eventually provide retirement security via a pension. And, dreaming even bigger, she also wanted to find true love and remarry one day.

At age 66, it would be tempting for Elsie to buy that it was “too late” to begin a new career and that she is “too old” to find the love she knew she deserved. But Elsie was undaunted.

We focused first on her most critical Big Goal: finding a rewarding career.  At first, she pursued government jobs, since those are among the last that offer real “pensions” besides Social Security.  Then one day, it came to her that she could pursue a teaching career.  She already had a part-time job teaching English as a second language (ESL) to adults and she had a California credential to teach elementary school, but she hadn’t taught children in many years. Still, the idea kept getting stronger and we both thought it could be the “How” for fulfilling her Big Goal that God/The Universe was guiding her to.

She lacked one certification that was a new requirement since she last taught. She thought it was going to take a number of months to complete via an online course. But then she learned of an intensive summer school course that was being offered about 90 minutes from her home. She found housing close to the university, and went home on the weekends.  In just eight weeks, she passed the course and was free to apply for teaching positions in her area.

Unfortunately, the school year had just started, and all full-time positions were filled. While she waited to be called for substitute teaching, she discovered another part-time opening for an ESL adult ed position near her home, and was immediately hired.

As she worked purposefully toward fulfilling her career dream, we turned our attention to her relationship dream. She decided to try online dating and I recommended eHarmony, the site where I met my own wonderful husband, Rick, ten years ago.  I reviewed the profile she created and gave her a few tips to make it more appealing.

In the first few weeks, nothing much came of the matches she received.  Some men didn’t respond to her, while others didn’t appeal to her because of their photos.  I told her my own story of how Rick and I almost missed our date with destiny because neither of us cared for the other’s online photo.  Thankfully, we overcame those hasty prejudgments!

In December, Elsie decided to take a break from coaching for a few months, wanting to finish up her ESL semester before resuming coaching to help her land the perfect full-time teaching job.  Busy with my full slate of clients, I lost track of her until last month. When I emailed to check on how she was doing, I received this amazing reply:

“Hi, Caroll.  I am engaged to John from Oregon.  We met on eHarmony and have spent several long weekends together. After school ends May 19, I will move up to his lovely home. We are getting married in his church on June 18 and have had 2 meetings with the minister. I will have to work in Oregon and have applied for my Oregon teaching credential.”

I’d say Elsie didn’t just overcome those two Old, Limiting Beliefs; she decimated them!

The second inspiring story is from my client “Dee,” who wanted to create more prosperity in her life.  The company where she worked full-time for many years was steadily going downhill, following the death of the main partner. The remaining partners didn’t value or treat her well, giving her less and less responsibility, which resulted in a smaller and smaller paycheck.  Besides the financial strain on her family, this treatment took a toll on her confidence, which dampened her ability to grow her own bookkeeping business.

Middle-aged and divorced, Dee is the sole support of a multi-generational extended family. She is a caring, selfless person who gives much to others and demands little in return.  The one thing she has consistently done for herself is to take night classes to earn her MBA, in hopes of building a more secure financial future. Our coaching focused on strengthening her belief in herself.  I told her that nobody was going to value her any more than she valued herself.  She knew that was true, but the more her bosses belittled and disrespected her, the less valuable she felt.

One day, a stranger struck up a conversation and asked her what she did for a living.  She told him about her bookkeeping business and mentioned that she was going to complete her MBA this June.   She was taken aback when this total stranger pronounced, “Don’t you know that you will be competing for jobs with sharp young grads in their twenties? There are people with PhDs working at MacDonald’s right now. Why are you wasting your time on that at your age? “

That’s when something deep inside her shifted and she finally took a stand for her own value, stating, “God approves of me. I don’t need the approval of anyone else.  How it’s all going to work out is up to God. I am OK with my choices and I am going to finish my MBA.”

Just weeks after her bold declaration, things completely shifted for Dee.  Although her old job is now half the hours it originally was, several new clients have come to her “out of nowhere,” for free-lance bookkeeping jobs — BIG jobs.  One company is headquartered in another state, where she will periodically travel to oversee five employees.  She has even hired a part-time helper to handle some of the work. “I am finally doing what I have always dreamed of,” Dee told me, excitedly.  “I am actually my own boss! Dee Consulting is legit!”

Too old?  Too late?  Not for Dee.  Not for Elsie.  How about YOU?  Why are you still sitting on the couch?  It’s Spring Fever time….Time to go out and pursue your Big Dreams with gusto!

PLEASE NOTE: A Cup of Caroll will be taking Easter Sunday off.  I look forward to connecting with you again on April 3!

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com  or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   

 

“Visualize this thing that you want.  See it, feel it, believe in it.  Make your mental blueprint, and begin to build.” – Robert Collier from the book How Successful People Think


My last blog (Not Too Late – Blog 225) garnered some of the strongest reader responses ever.  I am sure that is because the experience is pretty universal.  We all have Big Dreams we would dearly love to pursue, but the Inner Protector part of our Ego wants to stop us by throwing out a Limiting Belief about why it is futile to try.

That’s because your Inner Protector thinks ALL change is potentially dangerous for you.  Therefore, it tries to convince you stay on the couch, rather than let you risk pursuing a heartfelt dream, no matter how great the potential reward. One of the favorite Limiting Beliefs the Ego uses to dissuade you is that you are “too old” for whatever you want to do. For the vast majority of us, this self-limiting belief is a complete fallacy and it would be a shame if you let it stop you from pursuing your heartfelt dreams.

As evidence, I want to share with you today the first of three inspiring examples from my clients who refused to listen to the “You’re too old” story. They believed in their dreams and steadfastly committed to using the coaching tools I gave them to put the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy) into action to help them achieve their goals.

My first client endured some major changes in the recent past, including her decision to leave her emotionally abusive marriage and move to a new home. While it has been tough, both on her and her grown children, she is determined to emerge from the emotional “cocoon” she has felt trapped in for years and enter the next chapter of her life reborn as who she truly is – a woman with the soul of a beautiful butterfly.

To symbolize her readiness to soar into this milestone birthday year, she chose to compete in one of the top marathons in the USA – the New York City Marathon – this November.  She has run four marathons before, but the most recent was four years ago and her body is now “older” and not in tip-top running shape.  But aside from her age and lack of recent training, she faced an even more daunting hurdle that would have made many people give up before they started: She had to get accepted. She didn’t tell me she would “try” to get in. She committed 100% to running the NYC Marathon this year.

The NYC Marathon accepts 50,000 runners.  A number of those slots are reserved for non-competitive runners who are running to raise money for charities. Most of the competitive runners get in by having a qualifying time that meets the marathon’s standards.  Unfortunately, my client’s most recent marathon time was 12 minutes shy of the cut-off.

So her only remaining option was to enter a lottery that accepts 15,000 runners whose names are selected at random.  The odds of winning one of these slots depend on how many people apply, so nobody knows what the odds are until the drawing happens.

My client did everything I taught her to set The Law of Attraction to work in her favor. You can’t sit on the couch eating bonbons and expect your Big Dream to walk onto the front porch and ring the doorbell.  So, step one toward fulfilling her dream was to make sure she paid the non-refundable fee and entered the lottery before the cut-off.

Next, she knew it was critical to take some concrete ACTION that would demonstrate to God/The Universe and her own subconscious mind – the two greatest allies we have in reaching any goal – her COMMITMENT to winning a place in the marathon. She didn’t wait to find out IF she got in. Instead, she did something NOW that she would do when she really WAS in: She put her feet into ACTION by starting her training program immediately to prepare for the marathon.

To further bolster her belief, she practiced the powerful manifestation technique I described in detail in Blog 224.  She knew that the lottery winners would be notified via email sometime before midnight March 8.  So every day, at least once in the morning and once at night before she went to sleep, she closed her eyes and VISUALIZED opening the email proclaiming “ You are accepted into the NYC Marathon on November 6, 2016.”

There was nothing else my client could do to make her name come up.  She simply did everything she had it in her power to do: 1) BELIEVE in her dream and in herself 2) VISUALIZE her dream as though it was already real, and 3) TAKE COMMITTED ACTION to train for the marathon, because that is what she would be doing after she was accepted.

On March 8, she sent me a screen shot of the email she had just received: “You Have Been Accepted into the 2016 TCS New York City Marathon.”

She found out later from a friend who had also entered the lottery (but wasn’t selected) that there were 80,000 entries for 15,000 slots, putting the odds of her name being drawn at just 18%. But it wouldn’t have mattered to her if it had been one tenth of one percent.  If anyone could do it, she believed that she could.  With a rock-solid belief in herself and her Big Dream, she successfully silenced any Limiting Beliefs expressed internally by her Ego or externally by naysayers suggesting she might be “too old” for this or that it was such a “long shot,” why bother?

Next week, I will share two other inspiring stories from clients who refused to let their age, circumstances or the opinions of others stop them from reaching their Big Dreams in short order.  Stay tuned!

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com  or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   

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