Limiting Beliefs

“First we make our attitudes.  Then our attitudes make us.” – Denis Waitley

I am a big fan of CBS Sunday Morning.  I have watched the show regularly since it first aired in 1979, then hosted by the “On The Road” journalist, Charles Kuralt. I love the consistently interesting, positive and informative features, objective news updates and beautiful images it presents. After watching, I feel more hopeful about the state of the world as I begin a new week.

Last Sunday’s show included a feature story on “The Placebo Effect” that shed important light on exactly how “positive thinking” works and why it is such a powerful tool for solving our problems and reaching our dreams.  Since teaching them how to create a positive mindset is key to helping my clients reach their Big Goals, I was fascinated by the scientific findings it presented.

First, the reporter talked to a woman who had struggled with excruciating pain from Irritable Bowel Syndrome for two decades. Hoping for help, Linda signed up to participate in a very unusual study sponsored by a Boston medical center.  The study gave her three weeks’ worth of pills. But instead of testing a new medication, every participant in the study was taking placebos – pills that contain no active ingredients whatsoever.  Furthermore, everyone in the study KNEW that they were taking a placebo.

At first, Linda said she thought it was going to be a “waste of time” to take an inactive “sugar pill.”  But after her IBS symptoms began to improve within a week, she thought that “Maybe they just TOLD me it was a placebo, and it’s [really] a new medication they are trying out, and they just didn’t want me to know.” In the end, Linda and 60% of all the study participants reported noticeable relief from their physical symptoms without medication.

Of course, The Placebo Effect, as it is known, of people feeling better without a medical cause, only works in certain cases. You can’t expect to cure cancer or lower cholesterol with a placebo. Psychiatrists explain that where it has an impact is on “any symptom which the brain can modulate by itself.” About 35% of the time, people experience some relief from taking a substance that is not biologically active. Some even feel negative side effects from placebos!

We are such “highly-suggestible creatures,” says one psychiatrist, that his patients have experienced asthma attacks from just looking at pollen in a sealed jar, and showed allergic dermatitis symptoms from viewing a cat on television. Clearly, what you think about, your body can bring about.

What really caught my attention was a doctor stating that The Placebo Effect doesn’t work because we are simply imagining it. MRIs have shown that part of the brain’s “pain matrix” is activated by taking a placebo. In fact, there is a measurable rise in the production of dopamine, which dampens the body’s sensation of pain. Thus, taking a fake pill can prod the human brain to produce its own, very real, healing chemicals.

As further amazing proof that our expectations can help create our reality, one group of patients with Parkinson’s Disease in a study were given a placebo that they were told was a cheap, generic drug, while another group was given a placebo that was supposedly an expensive new medication being tested.

In both groups, a significant percentage saw measurable improvement in their tremors, but the group that was told they were taking the “expensive medicine” improved TWICE as much as the group that thought they were taking a “cheap” drug. Furthermore, the “expensive” placebo did just as well at alleviating Parkinson’s tremors as the current REAL Parkinson’s medication that chemically prods the body to produce more dopamine. One doctor involved in the study concluded, “People believed that if it was expensive, it had to be good.”

Aside from the possible medical (and skyrocketing drug price-related) benefits such studies may lead to, they also provide objective, scientific explanations for what Master Manifesters like the late Dr. Wayne Dyer have been asserting for a long, long time: Our own beliefs and expectations really DO affect what happens to us.

In my 12 years as a professional coach, more than 600 of my clients and I have demonstrated time and again that if you are willing to put the past in the past and release ALL negative expectations for your present situation, you can create a better outcome than you may have ever experienced before in similar circumstances. Positive change can also occur with someone you have habitually clashed with — IF you are willing to let go of expecting more of the same, and instead choose to believe that it is possible for them to change. If YOU can change your thoughts and expectations about them, they can change theirs and behave differently towards you.

I have developed a great tool to help the subconscious mind to accomplish this. It’s a self-coaching affirmation that I teach to all my clients (and regularly use myself) that starts with the words, “I claim, accept and expect The Best…” As The Placebo Effect proves, the essential foundation for creating a good outcome is expecting a good outcome

So it appears that the old saying, What you think about, you bring out is now a proven scientific fact. In  order to create GOOD results, you must stay laser focused on what you WANT to manifest, and not squander your brain’s enormous creative power on visualizing a Worst Case Scenario you fear. You can use the awesome power of your own brain to help you manifest the Life of Your Dreams. So, what are you waiting for?

PLEASE NOTE: It requires approximately four hours each Saturday to write, edit and post A Cup of Caroll. While it is absolutely a labor of love, I feel the need right now to focus on serving my many wonderful clients, organizing my office, and enjoying more time for relaxation and self-care.  Therefore the blog will be taking the next two weeks off and will return on Sunday November 6.  I hope my newer readers will check out the blog archives at  and enjoy some past editions you may have missed!

P.S. If you would like your own free subscription to receive future editions of A Cup of Caroll three Sundays a month, just go to the same website and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! *************************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at to schedule their session.

“In order to change your life and start living a new one that you’ve never lived before, your faith in miracles, and yourself, must be greater than your fear.” – found in You Are a Bad Ass by Jen Sincero

This is a slightly-edited blog that first ran in 2014.  I believe the message is still very timely and important to remember as you go after a Big Goal:

Have you ever found yourself wanting to do something that will bring you great rewards but you can’t seem to get motivated enough to pursue it?  You hate hearing yourself making the same old excuses, but you just can’t seem to get going.  You feel stuck for no real reason. Why is that?

Well, there IS a very real barrier between you and all that you really yearn for.  In my 11+ years of professional coaching, helping hundreds of clients reach their Big Goals, I’ve seen that any self-paralysis inevitably involves a Limiting Belief that is buried deep in their unconscious mind.

What is a “limiting” belief anyway?  Well, all beliefs are the same in one sense. A belief is not the “truth”; it is simply your personal interpretation of the facts based on your own experience or someone else’s.  A “limiting” belief is one that holds you back from taking the actions you must take to pursue your dreams.

Beliefs form when an event occurs — especially when similar events recur and you notice an apparent pattern — and the Inner Protector part of your Ego immediately tries to interpret what it means. It tries to figure out, “What caused this bad thing to happen?  What does it mean about me?  What does it mean about other people?  What rule can I make up so I don’t let this painful scenario happen to me again?”  This is a normal and important risk-minimizing defense mechanism the human psyche is hard-wired for.

For instance, you have a bad romantic breakup and your Inner Protector decides, “This relationship was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me! I am NEVER going to get involved with someone like that again!”  So months later, when you are introduced to a potentially great partner whose political opinion (or eyes or laugh or moustache) reminds you of The Heartbreaker’s, your Ego tries to protect you from re-living the same painful scenario by telling you, “This person is going to break my heart just like that other one did! I can’t let myself get burned twice –I have to run away NOW!” 

I recently coached two clients whose personal Limiting Beliefs were holding them back from taking positive actions that could help them reach their Big Goals.

The first client’s Big Goal was to have a happy marriage. He and his wife of just a few months were caught up in endless bickering over petty issues that neither of them really cared about. He couldn’t offer a rational reason for why neither could refrain from arguing, but attributed it to his wife’s “stubbornness.” When pressed, he admitted he was similarly inclined to dig in his heels when his opinion was challenged.

As we talked, he recalled that as a boy, whenever he was shown to be wrong, some of his family members would mock him and call him “stupid.” As a result, whenever he had to give in to someone else’s authority or opinion, he felt disrespected. He even lost jobs by arguing with supervisors, trying to prove himself “right.” His wife voicing her opinion that a particular TV show she wanted to watch was “better” than what he wanted to watch felt emasculating to him.  Their petty fights soon turned into bitter yelling matches.

In a last ditch effort to save their marriage, they went to family counseling. There, his wife recognized that she also had the experience of feeling put down for her opinions by her ex-husband.  Although she submitted to all his wishes just to placate him, her Ex expressed only contempt for her and eventually left her. So her Inner Protector created the unconscious Limiting Belief that whenever her new, loving husband requested anything contrary to what she wanted, she MUST stand her ground or she would lose her sense of self again and have her heart broken once more.

Once they both recognized that they were arguing with each other because of old Limiting Beliefs their Egos created in response to past relationships, they were able to let down their defenses and relate to each other as the loving, giving individuals they truly are.  They no longer yell and fight, but calmly discuss their differences of opinion and work together to create solutions.

In her first year in a successful network marketing company my second client’s team of business partners grew very quickly. But over the past year, her organization has been shrinking, along with her paycheck and dreams of eventual financial freedom for her family.  In fact, she hasn’t sponsored a new team member in over a year.  When I asked her why, she told me a year ago, her strongest business builder left for another opportunity and took most of her best people with her. Even worse, the former Teammate was a close personal friend who has now has broken off all contact with her. “It broke my heart,” she said.

The Limiting Belief stopping her from re-building her earlier success was obvious: If she sponsored another go-getter who could make her team a success, they might leave and break her heart all over again. That potential pain was just too much for her Inner Protector to allow her to risk, so she stayed mired in excuses about being too tired and not having enough hours in the day to re-start her business, although she had built it before under the exact same conditions.

But here’s the great news about beliefs: Since we make them up ourselves, we have the power to CHANGE them whenever we want!  We can simply choose a new, Empowering Belief that does not drag our past into our future. Beliefs are not “good” or “bad” — but neither are they neutral.  Every belief you create will either hold you back or empower you to pursue your Big Dreams. Your past experience cannot doom you to future defeat – only your FEAR of recreating the past can do that.

Remember, prosperity is more than money and riches.  Retired minister Rev. Margaret has a great definition: “Prosperity is living in a state of TOTAL well-being, which includes being happy, healthy and enjoying great relationships. To create true prosperity, we must let go of what no longer serves us so we can move toward the greater Good that God has waiting for us.”

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at or call 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.

“Your success depends mainly upon what you think of yourself and whether you believe in yourself.” – William Boetcker

I didn’t have to look far for the topic for this week’s blog.  It kept recurring among my clients last week and it is the subject of a collection of articles published by the Unity church entitled You Are Enough.

Two of my clients had their phones die for a time this week.  Both admitted to feeling a secret sense of relief because they could not be held responsible for not working their businesses.  One of them was at the beach for a week with her family and was able to spend some guilt-free time playing with her kids and just relaxing, while the other, with a few precious days off from her day job, had time to play with her daughter and just “float in the pool.” The latter confessed that she had actually contemplated not coming to her coaching call because she didn’t want to admit to me that she had been “unproductive” this week.

I told them both that they shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what they really wanted to do.  Their worth was not defined by how productive they were being.  Their self-worth should come from knowing that they are unique and special and valuable because of WHO THEY ARE, not what they DO.

As a Personal Success Coach, my job is to help my clients get whatever they want in life.  The Big Goal they choose to pursue is up to them – greater prosperity, a fitter body, a loving relationship or a successful business.  Nobody, including me, can tell them what their heartfelt goals should be.  Nor should they put undue pressure on themselves to reach those goals at the expense of having life balance, fun and fulfillment.  If they become so driven to succeed that pursuing their goal feels like a burden, I recommend taking a step back to examine their true motivation.

Many people have a strong “Why” for pursuing a goal, especially a financial goal.  One of my clients wants to succeed at her business so her mother can retire from her job.  Several want their spouses to be able to quit their jobs to pursue their dreams or spend more time with their family.  Some are motivated to financially support a cause they care deeply about. Those are all great reasons for consistently doing activities that will get them closer to their goals with a sense of joy and enthusiasm.

But I have seen some people approach their daily tasks with a teeth-gritted, “this is hard, but I MUST do it” mindset and energy. I believe they are actually driven by the idea that they must prove their value through their achievements.  Their sense of self-worth depends on outer successes and the approval of others.

One of my clients recently shared a journaling she had done to explore her Limiting Belief that “If I give it my all and fail, my life has been a waste.”  This was her Ego’s internal Worst Case Scenario about not reaching the level of success in her business that she wanted.  In the course of her self-exploration, she had the Ah-Ha Moment, as Oprah calls it, that she doesn’t remember her father saying “I love you” very often when she was growing up.  But she does remember him frequently saying, “I am so proud of you.”

Thus, her father’s pride in her accomplishments became her Ego’s path to “earning” the unconditional love she truly craved. She wrote, “I think this has sort of made me think that if I can’t do something that makes a splash, it’s not worth doing and certainly not worth talking about.  So I find myself striving for that over-achiever status.  I feel like anything less is pointless and even something to feel shameful about, so I just don’t talk about it.”

Being human, I am sure each of us feels or has felt at some time that we are not good enough. For some, it’s about appearance:  “I’m not…young enough, pretty enough, thin enough…” to be worthy of receiving unconditional love and acceptance from those I care about.

For others, like me, it’s about our performance: “I didn’t go to the gym.  I didn’t get an A.  I didn’t win the competition.  I didn’t put on the perfect birthday party for my child.”  Therefore, I suck.

The truth is, your inherent value doesn’t increase or decrease with age, beauty, fitness level, accomplishments, job productivity or salary.

As minister Joel Osteen puts it, “You are the apple of God’s eye” simply because you exist. If you are alive on Planet Earth, you are enough.  In fact, you are PRICELESS.  Otherwise, you are claiming that only the pretty, thin, A students, celebrities and sports stars are worthy of God’s love, their own self-love and the love of people whose opinion matters. Then what about the rest of us?

I believe there is no swimsuit competition in Heaven – or here on Earth, for that matter. As the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. so eloquently said, we should not be judged by the color of our skin (or any other external factor), but by the content of our character.

So if you long to take a few hours or days to just “float in the pool,” you should do it.  Do what your heart calls you to do.  When you are working, give it your BEST.  And when you want to play or relax, enjoy and be fully present to it, without guilt or shame.

I urge you to make this your daily mantra: I am not my job title or accomplishments.  I am whole, complete and perfect, just as I am. I am the apple of God’s eye and I am ENOUGH.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at or call 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.




“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds: your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.” – Patanjali

Today, Spring officially begins in the Northern Hemisphere.  As life blooms anew around us, we get “Spring Fever” — the urge to shake off the winter doldrums and begin pursuing our dreams with renewed energy and passion.

So it’s fitting that we have spent the month examining the common Limiting Beliefs that “It’s too late” or “You’re too old” to reach your Big Goals. Because the ultimate effects on your life are unknown, even positive changes can look like potential threats to your mental, emotional or physical well-being. While these Limiting Beliefs are generally far from the truth, the Inner Protector part of your Ego plants them in your consciousness to dissuade you from taking steps to reach your goals, believing it is keeping you safe by keeping you stuck.

Last week, I shared with you the inspiring story of how one of my clients refused to let the “Your Too Old” story and the long odds of success stop her from winning a coveted place in the New York Marathon, which she will run this November to celebrate a milestone birthday and open the next chapter of her life. Now, I want to share with you two equally inspiring stories of women who also overcame these two insidious Limiting Beliefs.

A full-time wife and mother for over twenty years, “Elsie” escaped her emotionally-abusive marriage as soon as her children were grown. When she came to me for coaching, she had a part-time job and lived with a female roommate in order to make ends meet. But Elsie dreamed of finding a rewarding career to pursue that would eventually provide retirement security via a pension. And, dreaming even bigger, she also wanted to find true love and remarry one day.

At age 66, it would be tempting for Elsie to buy that it was “too late” to begin a new career and that she is “too old” to find the love she knew she deserved. But Elsie was undaunted.

We focused first on her most critical Big Goal: finding a rewarding career.  At first, she pursued government jobs, since those are among the last that offer real “pensions” besides Social Security.  Then one day, it came to her that she could pursue a teaching career.  She already had a part-time job teaching English as a second language (ESL) to adults and she had a California credential to teach elementary school, but she hadn’t taught children in many years. Still, the idea kept getting stronger and we both thought it could be the “How” for fulfilling her Big Goal that God/The Universe was guiding her to.

She lacked one certification that was a new requirement since she last taught. She thought it was going to take a number of months to complete via an online course. But then she learned of an intensive summer school course that was being offered about 90 minutes from her home. She found housing close to the university, and went home on the weekends.  In just eight weeks, she passed the course and was free to apply for teaching positions in her area.

Unfortunately, the school year had just started, and all full-time positions were filled. While she waited to be called for substitute teaching, she discovered another part-time opening for an ESL adult ed position near her home, and was immediately hired.

As she worked purposefully toward fulfilling her career dream, we turned our attention to her relationship dream. She decided to try online dating and I recommended eHarmony, the site where I met my own wonderful husband, Rick, ten years ago.  I reviewed the profile she created and gave her a few tips to make it more appealing.

In the first few weeks, nothing much came of the matches she received.  Some men didn’t respond to her, while others didn’t appeal to her because of their photos.  I told her my own story of how Rick and I almost missed our date with destiny because neither of us cared for the other’s online photo.  Thankfully, we overcame those hasty prejudgments!

In December, Elsie decided to take a break from coaching for a few months, wanting to finish up her ESL semester before resuming coaching to help her land the perfect full-time teaching job.  Busy with my full slate of clients, I lost track of her until last month. When I emailed to check on how she was doing, I received this amazing reply:

“Hi, Caroll.  I am engaged to John from Oregon.  We met on eHarmony and have spent several long weekends together. After school ends May 19, I will move up to his lovely home. We are getting married in his church on June 18 and have had 2 meetings with the minister. I will have to work in Oregon and have applied for my Oregon teaching credential.”

I’d say Elsie didn’t just overcome those two Old, Limiting Beliefs; she decimated them!

The second inspiring story is from my client “Dee,” who wanted to create more prosperity in her life.  The company where she worked full-time for many years was steadily going downhill, following the death of the main partner. The remaining partners didn’t value or treat her well, giving her less and less responsibility, which resulted in a smaller and smaller paycheck.  Besides the financial strain on her family, this treatment took a toll on her confidence, which dampened her ability to grow her own bookkeeping business.

Middle-aged and divorced, Dee is the sole support of a multi-generational extended family. She is a caring, selfless person who gives much to others and demands little in return.  The one thing she has consistently done for herself is to take night classes to earn her MBA, in hopes of building a more secure financial future. Our coaching focused on strengthening her belief in herself.  I told her that nobody was going to value her any more than she valued herself.  She knew that was true, but the more her bosses belittled and disrespected her, the less valuable she felt.

One day, a stranger struck up a conversation and asked her what she did for a living.  She told him about her bookkeeping business and mentioned that she was going to complete her MBA this June.   She was taken aback when this total stranger pronounced, “Don’t you know that you will be competing for jobs with sharp young grads in their twenties? There are people with PhDs working at MacDonald’s right now. Why are you wasting your time on that at your age? “

That’s when something deep inside her shifted and she finally took a stand for her own value, stating, “God approves of me. I don’t need the approval of anyone else.  How it’s all going to work out is up to God. I am OK with my choices and I am going to finish my MBA.”

Just weeks after her bold declaration, things completely shifted for Dee.  Although her old job is now half the hours it originally was, several new clients have come to her “out of nowhere,” for free-lance bookkeeping jobs — BIG jobs.  One company is headquartered in another state, where she will periodically travel to oversee five employees.  She has even hired a part-time helper to handle some of the work. “I am finally doing what I have always dreamed of,” Dee told me, excitedly.  “I am actually my own boss! Dee Consulting is legit!”

Too old?  Too late?  Not for Dee.  Not for Elsie.  How about YOU?  Why are you still sitting on the couch?  It’s Spring Fever time….Time to go out and pursue your Big Dreams with gusto!

PLEASE NOTE: A Cup of Caroll will be taking Easter Sunday off.  I look forward to connecting with you again on April 3!

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them contact me at  or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   


“Visualize this thing that you want.  See it, feel it, believe in it.  Make your mental blueprint, and begin to build.” – Robert Collier from the book How Successful People Think

My last blog (Not Too Late – Blog 225) garnered some of the strongest reader responses ever.  I am sure that is because the experience is pretty universal.  We all have Big Dreams we would dearly love to pursue, but the Inner Protector part of our Ego wants to stop us by throwing out a Limiting Belief about why it is futile to try.

That’s because your Inner Protector thinks ALL change is potentially dangerous for you.  Therefore, it tries to convince you stay on the couch, rather than let you risk pursuing a heartfelt dream, no matter how great the potential reward. One of the favorite Limiting Beliefs the Ego uses to dissuade you is that you are “too old” for whatever you want to do. For the vast majority of us, this self-limiting belief is a complete fallacy and it would be a shame if you let it stop you from pursuing your heartfelt dreams.

As evidence, I want to share with you today the first of three inspiring examples from my clients who refused to listen to the “You’re too old” story. They believed in their dreams and steadfastly committed to using the coaching tools I gave them to put the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy) into action to help them achieve their goals.

My first client endured some major changes in the recent past, including her decision to leave her emotionally abusive marriage and move to a new home. While it has been tough, both on her and her grown children, she is determined to emerge from the emotional “cocoon” she has felt trapped in for years and enter the next chapter of her life reborn as who she truly is – a woman with the soul of a beautiful butterfly.

To symbolize her readiness to soar into this milestone birthday year, she chose to compete in one of the top marathons in the USA – the New York City Marathon – this November.  She has run four marathons before, but the most recent was four years ago and her body is now “older” and not in tip-top running shape.  But aside from her age and lack of recent training, she faced an even more daunting hurdle that would have made many people give up before they started: She had to get accepted. She didn’t tell me she would “try” to get in. She committed 100% to running the NYC Marathon this year.

The NYC Marathon accepts 50,000 runners.  A number of those slots are reserved for non-competitive runners who are running to raise money for charities. Most of the competitive runners get in by having a qualifying time that meets the marathon’s standards.  Unfortunately, my client’s most recent marathon time was 12 minutes shy of the cut-off.

So her only remaining option was to enter a lottery that accepts 15,000 runners whose names are selected at random.  The odds of winning one of these slots depend on how many people apply, so nobody knows what the odds are until the drawing happens.

My client did everything I taught her to set The Law of Attraction to work in her favor. You can’t sit on the couch eating bonbons and expect your Big Dream to walk onto the front porch and ring the doorbell.  So, step one toward fulfilling her dream was to make sure she paid the non-refundable fee and entered the lottery before the cut-off.

Next, she knew it was critical to take some concrete ACTION that would demonstrate to God/The Universe and her own subconscious mind – the two greatest allies we have in reaching any goal – her COMMITMENT to winning a place in the marathon. She didn’t wait to find out IF she got in. Instead, she did something NOW that she would do when she really WAS in: She put her feet into ACTION by starting her training program immediately to prepare for the marathon.

To further bolster her belief, she practiced the powerful manifestation technique I described in detail in Blog 224.  She knew that the lottery winners would be notified via email sometime before midnight March 8.  So every day, at least once in the morning and once at night before she went to sleep, she closed her eyes and VISUALIZED opening the email proclaiming “ You are accepted into the NYC Marathon on November 6, 2016.”

There was nothing else my client could do to make her name come up.  She simply did everything she had it in her power to do: 1) BELIEVE in her dream and in herself 2) VISUALIZE her dream as though it was already real, and 3) TAKE COMMITTED ACTION to train for the marathon, because that is what she would be doing after she was accepted.

On March 8, she sent me a screen shot of the email she had just received: “You Have Been Accepted into the 2016 TCS New York City Marathon.”

She found out later from a friend who had also entered the lottery (but wasn’t selected) that there were 80,000 entries for 15,000 slots, putting the odds of her name being drawn at just 18%. But it wouldn’t have mattered to her if it had been one tenth of one percent.  If anyone could do it, she believed that she could.  With a rock-solid belief in herself and her Big Dream, she successfully silenced any Limiting Beliefs expressed internally by her Ego or externally by naysayers suggesting she might be “too old” for this or that it was such a “long shot,” why bother?

Next week, I will share two other inspiring stories from clients who refused to let their age, circumstances or the opinions of others stop them from reaching their Big Dreams in short order.  Stay tuned!

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at  or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   

“When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” – Tuli Kupferberg

From time to time, we all fall into self-defeating mental habits that need to be recognized and broken.  Whether it’s in the area of health, relationship, career or finances, we must periodically question our beliefs to see if we’ve developed an unconscious negative thought pattern that is sabotaging our success.

One common Limiting Belief is some variation of “It’s too late for me”: “I’m too old to go back to school and earn my degree,” “I’m too out of shape to train for a marathon,” “It’s too late to find love at my age.”

None of these beliefs is the Truth. They are just your Ego’s interpretation of events that have happened to you or things others have told you. Out of that limited information, your Ego forms a Limiting Belief  to try to protect you from emotional, mental or physical harm.  If your Ego believes the odds of success for some endeavor you are contemplating are not in your favor, it believes it is doing its job of protecting you from physical harm or personal disappointment by making you afraid to try.  If it FEELS risky to your Ego, you will likely assume the Limiting Belief  it is trying to sell you really IS the truth and throw in the towel before you have even tried.

One of my clients is currently pursuing a Big Goal she wants to reach by the end of March so she can qualify for a special trip with other Leaders in her company.  She ended February half-way to her goal of sponsoring eight active business partners, but that wasn’t where she hoped to be, and she told me honestly that she was feeling disappointed and nervous that she won’t reach her goal in time.

Still, she told me she won’t be “devastated” if she doesn’t reach her Big Goal this month, because her own Sponsor told her that “It’s OK if I don’t make it” in this time frame and win the trip.

I totally agree she should not feel “devastated” if she plays full out and doesn’t get to the finish line this month because that emotion would signal that she is “attached” to this goal, rather than being “committed” to it.  Attachment is when your Ego makes reaching the goal mean something that it really doesn’t mean – such as defining your innate value. If you do your best to reach a goal and miss the mark, it does NOT mean you are “unworthy” or a “failure.”  It may simply indicate that you needed to learn something from the experience that was more valuable than reaching the goal itself.  And it absolutely does NOT mean you won’t ever reach it.

In contrast, when you are committed to a goal, you are completely willing to take ACTION to the best of your ability, without being attached to the timing or delivery method of the final outcome. It means your Higher Self is listening for Divine guidance and not concerned with “being right” or having the “How” show up in a particular way or from a particular individual.  Your Higher Self is willing to give it everything it’s got, without the false “emotional safety” conditions that your Ego looks for before it allows you to take action.

If you are letting your Ego’s attachment to the outcome and fear of failure guide you, it’s very likely you will not take the ACTIONS that are required to reach the goal – because those ACTIONS require commitment and courage.

I suggested to my client that she has almost an entire month left to go to reach her Big Goal, and yet it sounds like she and her Sponsor have already decided that it’s “ too late” for her to succeed. I told her I have witnessed several of my clients in the same network marketing company accomplish exactly what she wants to do in just one month. I asked if she believed it was possible for HER too and she said “Yes!”  Yet, in reviewing her Action Plan for reaching her Big Goal this month, it was apparent that  her Ego has been telling her that it is already “too late,” in order to stop her from taking the very actions that could lead to her success.

On our prior weekly call, she told me about two women she thought could be great at her business and she promised to speak to them – but she didn’t.  I asked her why and she said she knew it was silly but she felt “afraid” to approach these two moms whom she sees daily at her child’s school during drop off and pick up times. Her Ego had planted some nebulous fear that something “bad” would happen to her if she asked them for 15 minutes to discuss her business opportunity and see if either of them was interested.

So we played the “What’s the worst that could happen?” mindset-investigation game.  I asked her that question and she said, “I don’t know.” Then I suggested some really BAD things that they might do to her if she approached them: They could make fun of her in front of the other parents, refuse to speak to her ever again, complain to the authorities that she was harassing them, slap her as she stood in front of the school, etc. etc. etc.  And she began to laugh….Because she saw how ludicrous it was to think that anything truly BAD could actually happen to her. Her rational mind quickly recognized that the REAL worst case scenario she might encounter from approaching these two prospective business partners was likely to be a polite “No thank you.”  I asked her if she were more committed to her Big Goal or to avoiding that possible outcome. She vowed right then to talk to her two Hot Prospects and many others as quickly as possible.

If she follows through on her promise to reach out to as many people as possible with her invitation to talk — without prejudging or fearing their response — she will be demonstrating her commitment to her Big Goal. Because the Law of Attraction says “energy attracts like energy,” it stands to reason that her rock-solid commitment will attract to her the people who are ready to say, ”YES!” right NOW.  She just has to believe that it’s NOT too late. In fact, it’s just the beginning of her ultimate success.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for awhile, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   

“See your differences as strengths rather than handicaps. And, instead of comparing  yourself to others…be inspired by them!” – Kathy Davis in Simple Secrets: 7 Principles to Inspire Success

This week, several of my coaching clients admitted they suffer from “Facebook Envy.” Their friends and colleagues’ posts on social media appear to indicate they are enjoying more rapid success and leading more exciting, happy and fulfilling lives. One client asked me, “How do I stop comparing myself to others? It’s making me feel depressed and discouraged!”

The innate drive to compare ourselves to our peers is a survival mechanism that’s hardwired into the human Ego from caveman days. If we see another pulling ahead of us, our Ego prods us to measure ourselves against their success as a way to motivate us to try harder.

“Healthy” competition is a good thing because it gets us off the couch and makes us strive for our personal best. The “carrot” the Ego uses is the universal desire to gain recognition and tangible rewards in return for working hard and excelling at something we care about. That’s why we enter competitions and watch sports contests and awards shows. The Ego tells us that being labeled The Best at something guarantees we will be considered valuable and worthy by our peers and authority figures.

While it is certainly nice to be admired and rewarded, the truth is, you aren’t going to be cut from the herd and left to die on the savanna if you don’t come in first, or get promoted as quickly as someone else. Your placement in the social hierarchy isn’t a true measure of your value.  There is nobody else on the planet with the exact same personality, character, gifts and life purpose that YOU have. Therefore, nobody can compare to or replace you.  And because you are unique and irreplaceable, you are MORE than just “valuable” – you are PRICELESS.

Your Ego needs to understand that pushing you to compare yourself to others in order to motivate you to succeed is a “Limiting Belief” that will likely have the opposite effect of demotivating you.  Let’s examine three underlying myths about the Comparison Game:

MYTH #1: You have the FULL picture of someone else’s life. One of my clients recently admitted, “Looking at my life from the outside, everyone thinks I’m wildly successful and have it all together. The reality is that I’m a bundle of insecurities and have a mountain of debt to pay off that nobody knows about. I feel under constant pressure to succeed.”

So I asked her, “If you keep part of the truth about your life hidden from others, why would you think that you know the whole truth about THEIR life? Your colleagues post only the GOOD stuff on social media in order to motivate their Team to want to be successful too. But their lives must contain good and bad elements, just like yours. When you compare your accomplishments to theirs, based only on what they choose to let you see, aren’t you buying THEIR façade too?” Yep, she had to admit that was probably true.

MYTH #2:  It’s a level playing field. We are extremely fortunate to live in a society where if you are willing to work hard enough and steadfastly believe in your dreams, you WILL eventually succeed. Comparing how long it takes you to reach the same goal as someone else is useless because no two individuals have identical backgrounds, talents, education, experience, financial resources or contacts.

We are all inspired by individuals who overcome great disabilities, challenges or hardships to reach their dreams because we ALL have some type of handicap – including self-doubt and lack of support from loved ones. It’s never as easy as it looks from the outside. But that doesn’t mean you won’t win your game if you will just keep on playing.

Does it really matter if reaching the goal takes someone else a shorter amount of time than you?  Maybe they have some advantages you don’t, but think of the inner strength and character you will develop because your quest requires you to persevere! Imagine what our world would look like today if Edison, Disney and Jobs had given up on their dreams in the face of all the setbacks and criticism they faced? The only way you can lose your game is to quit.

MYTH #3: The Ego’s goals are the real prize. You can’t stay positive and motivated if you are in the game just for personal accolades or material rewards.  Those are great but they have a short shelf life. The Oscar ends up gathering dust on the shelf and it’s really hard to remember who won Best Actor two years ago.  Rather than allowing your Ego to fixate on the goodies you will get when you reach your goal, you must stay focused on your real WHY. What difference do you want to make for others and the world?  You won’t waste precious time on envy or pity parties if you are striving to reach a goal that is bigger than yourself.

One client told me that she originally started her network marketing business because she wanted to be able to afford a luxury vacation for her family each year. But after seeing how her leadership has empowered others on her Team, she now has a much bigger motivation for succeeding at her business. She plans to use a large portion of her earnings to support a worthy cause that helps others reach THEIR dreams.

Now, that is something her Ego can really get inspired about!

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

This New Year, give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for awhile, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* hour of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals for the New Year and get into ACTION on making it their best year yet, have them contact me at or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.

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