September 20, 2020

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt

I am so sorry to have had to skip the blog last week. My deepest thanks to you who took the time to extend your kind condolences and emotional support about the passing of my brother.

I had some serious topic options planned for my next blog, but at this moment, when the world of politics seems to be going a little extra crazy and we are all just trying to cope as best we can with our daily “new normal” routines, I decided to write instead about something fun, an escape from reality — but an escape with useful lessons and a purpose.  Let me explain.

This summer, without Disneyland or our favorite “dinner and a movie” date nights to entertain us, Rick and I enjoyed our own film and television festival at home.  My ultimate escape show is Survivor and all 40 seasons are available for streaming on CBS! Over the years, I’ve seen about half of the 13-episode seasons, but it was a whole NEW experience consuming a whole season every couple of weeks.

I enjoyed the mental and emotional escape of living (virtually) on a literal “desert island” with some of my fan favorite “Castaways,” (Boston Rob, Tyson, Rupert, John Cochran and Queen Sandra, to name but a few). But I was surprised to discover that by watching a whole season unfold quickly, and then watching some of the same players compete in multiple seasons, I could discern patterns in the game that taught me some valuable lessons about what makes someone a “Winner” in pursuing any Big Goal. (The goal of the show contestants, of course, is to be voted the Sole Survivor and awarded $1 million dollars at the end by those who had been their opponents, acknowledging that they were the BEST at “Outwitting, Outplaying and Outlasting” 19 other competitors.)

Here are five major Success Lessons I gleaned from watching Survivor. I think you, too, will find them useful to remember as you pursue any Big Goal in business, finance, relationship, health, sports – whatever you REALLY want to achieve — particularly if your goal seems daunting or far-fetched.

LESSON #1: Do You.

Be yourself.  Don’t play someone else’s game.  Use your own unique strengths and passions to excel.  The challenges that all 20 Survivors must compete in are purposely varied, so that nobody has an advantage in every one.  Some challenges call for physical strength, some call for persistence and physical endurance. Some require balance and dexterity. And some involve mental acuity (like solving puzzles – NOT my strength!) In some seasons, smaller, less coordinated and downright “geeky” players have triumphed, both through the challenges and through playing a great “Social Game.”  You don’t have to match someone else’s strengths to win; you just have to play to your own.

LESSON #2: Build Alliances

The game of Survivor mirrors real life in the sense that nobody wins the game all by themselves.  The only way to make it to the end is to team up with other players in “alliances,” supporting and protecting each other and banding together to vote other people off.  Survivor proves that multiple heads ARE better than one and someone needs to have your back if you want to reach the top.  Winners in the game and in life seek out people they trust and nurture those relationships built on mutual respect and reward. In Survivor “trust” is never absolute, but that also highlights the fact that you can’t get what you really want without taking some RISKS.  You have to go out on a limb and trust others and your own gut in order to succeed.

LESSON #3: Maintain Your Integrity

Even though some deception is required to win Survivor (like keeping your Hidden Immunity Idol to yourself), those players who regularly backstab and betray the trust of their alliances almost never win the game.  They may get to the “final three,” but the jury of their peers who became collateral damage along the way invariably award the $1 Million prize to a competitor who played smart, but with a decent amount of integrity and no personal vindictiveness.  Fans may find evil-doers entertaining, but they rarely win the game of Survivor or life. (Just ask Russell Hantz, one of the Survivor “Villains” who played three times, each time, lying, conniving and betraying others — and lost each time. He ended up angry, divorced and with a mess of personal problems later, too.)  Win-At-All-Costs is not a formula for success in life OR showbusiness.

LESSON #4: Be flexible

As you begin pursuing your Big Goal, you will rarely know the “How” that will eventually lead you to success. Life takes twists and turns along the way and you must be flexible and always ready to seize serendipitous opportunities when they appear.  Survivor winners are all great at pivoting. Sometimes they must switch alliances in mid-stream when their allies are voted off.  They don’t fight reality; they go with the flow and deal with what’s so, not what they WISH were true.  You can’t be attached to your Ego’s plan when God/The Universe suddenly presents you with a “Hidden Immunity Idol” or chance to make a “Big Move.”  You have to just grab a bat and swing for the fences.

LESSON #5: Believe in yourself and commit to your dream

I think this is far and away the MOST important attribute for anyone competing on Survivor or pursuing a Big Goal in life, especially if the odds seem stacked against them. After spending a grueling 39 days with little food, lots of physical challenges and exposure to the elements, you would expect everyone to be mentally, emotionally and physically depleted and ready to quit. But the winners NEVER give in to fatigue or give up when the odds seem stacked against them.

At that point, their competition realizes they are a threat and are looking for an opportunity to vote them out. The future winners know that, but they don’t let it rattle them.  They focus on the final Immunity Challenge like it is the ONLY thing that matters, and they usually win it. They dig down deep, believe in themselves and never, ever consider quitting.  When you have obstacles in your path and not a lot of support from the outside world, you have to decide if you are going to stay 100% committed to your Big Goal or are going to fold.  Winners play to the very end.

P.S. Don’t think that failure never happens to Survivor winners. It absolutely does…just like it does to all of us in real life.  Many of the Fan Favorites have to play the grueling game two or three different seasons, often years apart, before they ultimately win. But they learn something about themselves and how to play the game each time. Then they regroup and start fresh, applying that hard-won knowledge until they reach their ultimate goal of becoming the Sole Survivor.  And how super-sweet that triumph is!

If you or your friends would like your own F*R*E*E* subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to https://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.

*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* hour of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com today.

 

“A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change.” – Earl Nightingale

[Happy Labor Day weekend in the USA!  As my final “Best of A Cup of Caroll” edition for the summer, here is an edited blog that first ran in early 2014.  It reminds us that if we consistently stay positive, nurture our belief in our dreams and let go of trying to control how they will manifest, we are often guided to success by means and methods we never would have predicted.] 

One of the most rewarding parts of helping my clients to reach their Big Goals is that I get to witness their dreams manifesting in some truly amazing ways.

Along the way, I get to hold their hand and dry their tears (figuratively and sometimes literally), and remind them to just be patient, focus on doing their BEST and continue to  believe, even when there is no outer evidence that anything is happening with their dream.

I get to do that for myself too, of course.  Often, my own dreams manifest by amazing means and always in the perfect timing of God/the Universe — which is not always the timetable I would prefer.  Just like my clients, NOW is what I prefer.  But immediate gratification is not always in our best interest.

What IS the perfect time for our dreams to manifest is just as soon as we have learned the spiritual lessons and gone through the essential inner growth to make us truly ready to receive them. But the blessing is that those valuable lessons have strengthened my ability to focus solely on my OWN integrity and actions and helped me “Let go and let God” handle the rest. As soon as I stop asking “When?” and “How?” my Big Goals will manifest, they often manifest with amazing ease when I least suspect it.

Where I find myself today represents a long-term, very intricate weaving together of seemingly “unconnected” events and people in my life.  In connecting them, God/ the Universe answered one of my biggest long-term goals with ease and grace.

The saga began when I joined a wonderful network marketing company back in 1993. I fell in love with the business, especially the freedom it gave me to be my own boss and the world of personal development that it introduced me to.  This is where I first learned about the Law of Attraction from Master Manifesters such as Wayne Dyer, Jack Canfield, Rhonda Byrne and Deepak Chopra who taught how to make quantum leaps in manifesting Big Goals.

What I didn’t know then is that through my network marketing business, I was also being connected to people who would have a direct impact on my coaching career 20 years later.

First, I met “America’s Dream Coach,” Marcia Wieder, who came to speak at one of our conventions.  I ended up chatting with her on the plane home and she invited me to her first Maui Dream Circle.  But first, I had to manifest $3,000.  With a pit in my stomach, I put my belief on the line by declaring to her, “I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I WILL be there.”  The money showed up in my mailbox the next day. Thus began my quest to master The Law of Attraction and share it with others.

Also through network marketing, I met my sponsor, Leslie Zann.  Strangers when we met, we soon bonded personally and she became my mentor and a major force in my personal development journey. After seven years, I left network marketing to pursue coaching and Leslie and I connected only sporadically after that because we were both busy with our careers.

Having coached 600 + clients over the past 12 years, I still love it. Yet, during much of that time, my level of financial success did not reflect the true value I knew my coaching provides to others. Over the years, I randomly connected to a few network marketers as clients, and all succeeded in reaching their business goals.  They referred a few others to me, but that was as far as it went. Still, I never stopped believing that I would eventually find a path into this natural coaching niche for me, where I could combine my coaching skill and tools AND my industry experience to help my clients succeed BIG. I never doubted that once I found a way into the industry, I could rock it.

Leslie and I eventually reconnected, and I was blessed to help her as she embarked on her own successful career as an expert trainer and speaker for the direct sales/network marketing industry. She deserves her great success and I couldn’t be happier for her.

Then one day, much to our mutual surprise, Leslie once again became a key player in my own career success. As a follow-on benefit to one of her workshops, she offered six wonderful network marketers a one-hour session of Personal Success Coaching with me. Most of them signed on as regular clients and at the time, I was just thrilled to have six new people to coach and the modest amount of income that provided.

Little did I know, those six clients started an avalanche of referrals that has brought me over 150 new clients to date.  When I least expected it, one phone call from Leslie became the “How” for fulfilling my decade – long dream of coaching network marketers and my practice has remained effortlessly full for the past three years.

By waiting (mostly) patiently, trusting God/the Universe to show me the How, and planting the seeds of giving my BEST to ALL my clients, I am now reaping a bountiful harvest of the BEST in return.

If you would like your own free subscription to receive A Cup of Caroll three Sundays a month, just go to my website at http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!) 

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com to schedule their session.

“You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits.  When we all help one another, everyone wins.”  — Jim Stovall

[We continue our “Best of A Cup of Caroll” summer series with a slightly-edited blog from 2013.  As I watched the short video at the end again, Arthur’s story had the same impact on me as before: I was left with a full heart, an inspired spirit and a wet face. I hope it inspires YOU to keep going, no matter how long the odds you seem to face. Remember, YOU matter and so do your Big Dreams. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s impossible!]

I was going to write this week on an entirely different topic inspired by one of Alan Cohen’s daily inspirations. A client sent me the excerpt from his book A Deep Breath of Life, which I thought it was so wonderful, I was going to give you the link to Alan’s website so you could check out his work for yourself.

While I was looking over his website, I glanced at his monthly newsletter page and noticed a link to a YouTube video that Alan promised would be inspiring.  Boy was it.  I was instantly flooded with tears by this five-minute excerpt from a longer movie about a handicapped veteran who was able to completely transform his physical and mental state with nothing but his unshakable persistence.

Arthur, a former paratrooper in the Gulf War, was severely disabled by a back injury while parachute jumping. At first confined to a wheelchair, and later able to walk only with cumbersome leg braces and crutches, Arthur was told by doctors for 15 years that he would never walk normally again. He gained 140 pounds and felt like giving up on himself and on life.

Finally, he asked for help. Several yoga instructors turned him down, undoubtedly thinking there was no way his broken body could perform yoga.  But one didn’t give up on him. Diamond Dallas Page decided to help Arthur try.  With just one human being willing to take a chance on him, Arthur started practicing yoga.

Slowly, painfully, falling often, but never giving up, he gained strength, stamina and balance. Ultimately, Arthur lost 140 pounds in 10 months. When you see what he does in the final frames of the video, you won’t believe your eyes.

Are you feeling discouraged and considering giving up on your own Big Dream?  Arthur says in the video, “Never underestimate what you can accomplish when you believe in yourself.”  Because he didn’t give up on himself, the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) allowed Arthur to attract the perfect resource he needed to help him win.

This video is a powerful reminder that God/The Universe also needs YOU to become someone else’s “How” to enable them to reach their dreams. Just your warm smile and a hug or a handshake can encourage someone to keep pursuing their “impossible” dream for one more day.  Giving of your time, treasure and talents in whatever large or small ways you are able can turn someone’s life around.

After you watch this remarkable little video, I promise you will never forget Arthur’s story.  May it inspire you to keep pursuing your own Big Dreams and to help someone else who may be close to giving up on theirs.  Who do you know who needs to hear “I believe in you” today? Call them up, email them or meet them for coffee and tell them that YOU do.  Enjoy Arthur’s story: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

NOTE:  If you would like your own free subscription to receive A Cup of Caroll three Sundays a month, just go to my website at www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!) 

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com to schedule their session.

 

“In order to change your life and start living a new one that you’ve never lived before, your faith in miracles, and yourself, must be greater than your fear.” – found in You Are a Bad Ass by Jen Sincero

This is a slightly-edited blog that first ran in 2014.  I believe the message is still very timely and important to remember as you go after a Big Goal:

Have you ever found yourself wanting to do something that will bring you great rewards but you can’t seem to get motivated enough to pursue it?  You hate hearing yourself making the same old excuses, but you just can’t seem to get going.  You feel stuck for no real reason. Why is that?

Well, there IS a very real barrier between you and all that you really yearn for.  In my 11+ years of professional coaching, helping hundreds of clients reach their Big Goals, I’ve seen that any self-paralysis inevitably involves a Limiting Belief that is buried deep in their unconscious mind.

What is a “limiting” belief anyway?  Well, all beliefs are the same in one sense. A belief is not the “truth”; it is simply your personal interpretation of the facts based on your own experience or someone else’s.  A “limiting” belief is one that holds you back from taking the actions you must take to pursue your dreams.

Beliefs form when an event occurs — especially when similar events recur and you notice an apparent pattern — and the Inner Protector part of your Ego immediately tries to interpret what it means. It tries to figure out, “What caused this bad thing to happen?  What does it mean about me?  What does it mean about other people?  What rule can I make up so I don’t let this painful scenario happen to me again?”  This is a normal and important risk-minimizing defense mechanism the human psyche is hard-wired for.

For instance, you have a bad romantic breakup and your Inner Protector decides, “This relationship was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me! I am NEVER going to get involved with someone like that again!”  So months later, when you are introduced to a potentially great partner whose political opinion (or eyes or laugh or moustache) reminds you of The Heartbreaker’s, your Ego tries to protect you from re-living the same painful scenario by telling you, “This person is going to break my heart just like that other one did! I can’t let myself get burned twice –I have to run away NOW!” 

I recently coached two clients whose personal Limiting Beliefs were holding them back from taking positive actions that could help them reach their Big Goals.

The first client’s Big Goal was to have a happy marriage. He and his wife of just a few months were caught up in endless bickering over petty issues that neither of them really cared about. He couldn’t offer a rational reason for why neither could refrain from arguing, but attributed it to his wife’s “stubbornness.” When pressed, he admitted he was similarly inclined to dig in his heels when his opinion was challenged.

As we talked, he recalled that as a boy, whenever he was shown to be wrong, some of his family members would mock him and call him “stupid.” As a result, whenever he had to give in to someone else’s authority or opinion, he felt disrespected. He even lost jobs by arguing with supervisors, trying to prove himself “right.” His wife voicing her opinion that a particular TV show she wanted to watch was “better” than what he wanted to watch felt emasculating to him.  Their petty fights soon turned into bitter yelling matches.

In a last ditch effort to save their marriage, they went to family counseling. There, his wife recognized that she also had the experience of feeling put down for her opinions by her ex-husband.  Although she submitted to all his wishes just to placate him, her Ex expressed only contempt for her and eventually left her. So her Inner Protector created the unconscious Limiting Belief that whenever her new, loving husband requested anything contrary to what she wanted, she MUST stand her ground or she would lose her sense of self again and have her heart broken once more.

Once they both recognized that they were arguing with each other because of old Limiting Beliefs their Egos created in response to past relationships, they were able to let down their defenses and relate to each other as the loving, giving individuals they truly are.  They no longer yell and fight, but calmly discuss their differences of opinion and work together to create solutions.

In her first year in a successful network marketing company my second client’s team of business partners grew very quickly. But over the past year, her organization has been shrinking, along with her paycheck and dreams of eventual financial freedom for her family.  In fact, she hasn’t sponsored a new team member in over a year.  When I asked her why, she told me a year ago, her strongest business builder left for another opportunity and took most of her best people with her. Even worse, the former Teammate was a close personal friend who has now has broken off all contact with her. “It broke my heart,” she said.

The Limiting Belief stopping her from re-building her earlier success was obvious: If she sponsored another go-getter who could make her team a success, they might leave and break her heart all over again. That potential pain was just too much for her Inner Protector to allow her to risk, so she stayed mired in excuses about being too tired and not having enough hours in the day to re-start her business, although she had built it before under the exact same conditions.

But here’s the great news about beliefs: Since we make them up ourselves, we have the power to CHANGE them whenever we want!  We can simply choose a new, Empowering Belief that does not drag our past into our future. Beliefs are not “good” or “bad” — but neither are they neutral.  Every belief you create will either hold you back or empower you to pursue your Big Dreams. Your past experience cannot doom you to future defeat – only your FEAR of recreating the past can do that.

Remember, prosperity is more than money and riches.  Retired minister Rev. Margaret has a great definition: “Prosperity is living in a state of TOTAL well-being, which includes being happy, healthy and enjoying great relationships. To create true prosperity, we must let go of what no longer serves us so we can move toward the greater Good that God has waiting for us.”

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.

“If given a choice do what is right.  Do what may push you along.  Choose that thing that is outside your grasp and then work hard for it….’Or’ don’t and live to whine another day.” – Bob Perks

Welcome back  —  I’ve missed you! As you know, I took two weeks off from writing the blog to prepare for and then enjoy a one-week vacation to Oregon over the Fourth of July weekend with my wonderful husband, Rick. We had a perfect trip.

The weather was perfect – in the mid-seventies with blue skies the whole time.

The food was perfect. Portland, where we spent half the time, is a Foodie’s paradise.  We followed recommendations from friends and clients and enjoyed several wonderful restaurants and wineries. We also had some great food during the second half of our trip to Cottage Grove, in southern Oregon, to visit my only sibling’s family.  My nephew smoked four whole chickens, and we had one of the best lasagnas ever, courtesy of my nephew-in-law, Don. He even made one pan with turkey sausage, since I don’t eat anything with four feet.

The scenery was perfect.  While staying in Portland, we spent the better part of a day driving through the nearby Columbia Gorge, which is nature on steroids.  The winding road through the tall pine trees reminded me of Yosemite, but with many more waterfalls (although smaller), which were all an easy walk from the road.

Aside from all the food, fun and scenery, the MOST significant thing about the trip for me was seeing my extended family again.  All but one of my older brother’s kids and grand kids reside in Oregon or Washington, so we all congregated at the home of my niece Ann and her husband Don, an acre-plus spread right next to the Row River. My brother and sister-in-law, four of my six nieces and nephews and four of my five great-nieces and great nephews joined us, as well as my brother’s ex-wife (the mother of three of his children) and her husband. It is truly one BIG, happy family, who all get along great.

We spent time looking at old photo albums and marveling that 10 years had passed since we last got together for a Parker Family Reunion.  It seemed to all except the youngest ones that those 10 years had zoomed by in the blink of an eye. Some of the memories were still vivid, while others made us shake our heads, not believing the photographic evidence that we really DID wear that hairdo or clothing back then. And the more “seasoned” among us could count new wrinkles and grey hairs (and maybe a couple of new belt notches) that weren’t there last time.

That made me realize that life truly does go by SO fast.  I am sad to admit that I have made the choice year after year not to make the effort to get us all together again…Not a conscious choice, but a choice of omission. Rick and I simply chose to do other things with the little time off we took from making a living.

That may end up being one of my few life regrets because this reunion made me realize that as far as I am concerned, there are really only TWO important questions to ask ourselves when we come to the end of our earthly life:

  • Did I SHOW the people I love how much I love them?
  • What Big Dreams did I pursue (or let die without ever being born)?

Our lives are built on a series of many little decisions made day by day in each of these two categories.  Each day is a new chance to take time to pay attention to those we love and demonstrate to them that we really do value them.  And each day is a chance to pursue our heartfelt dreams with everything we’ve got, or let them slide in favor of what is easier, more comfortable, less scary.

Within a day of arriving home, I received yet another amazing, thought-provoking post from my friend and fellow-coach/writer/speaker/workshop leader, Bob Perks. (See blog #230 “Listen with Your Heart” if you missed his earlier post that I re-published.)

Bob perfectly expresses that it is all the little daily choices we make to be loving, to be generous, to be in integrity, to stand up for our beliefs and values, and to either pursue our dreams or sell out that REALLY matter.  It’s not the few big life choices we make, but the many little ones that steadily add up day by day, year by year to create the picture that our life ultimately ends up looking like.

Here, with permission, are Bob’s own thoughts.  I hope they make as big an impression on you as they did on me. And I hope they move you to take ACTION and make the right daily choices for YOU, so that the next decade of YOUR life fulfills and empowers you. Because one thing I can guarantee: It’s going to feel like it zoomed by in the blink of an eye.

P.S. If you find Bob’s words inspiring and the spirit moves you, you can make a small or large donation at the end, as I did, to help him keep on sharing his love and wisdom with the world.

Perks Pearl of Wisdom

“I have lived to see another day for nearly 66 years.  I have been given more second chances than I deserved.  Still, I often feel unfulfilled.  Why?  Because there are greater things for me to accomplish.  Things I can’t even imagine at this moment.  For He has plans.”  Bob Perks

“Today’s message:

“Or”

By Bob Perks

Life is full of choices.  The truth is every choice we make ripples like a stone dropped in a still pond.

Even not choosing is a choice.

I could start writing that book or I could go back and edit a few older projects I once started.

I could call my friend or wait until she calls me.  Why should I be the one?

I could look for some healthy recipes and then go shopping for the food I’ll need or I could finish all the junk food up instead of wasting it.

I could update my resume and start looking for a better job or I could wait until after vacation.

I could study more for that test on Monday or go celebrate with the girls. I’ll pass it I’m sure.

I could save this extra money I got or maybe double it at the casino.

I could or I couldn’t.

I should join that civic club and get involved or stay at home and mind my own business.

I should go for a walk after dinner or at least sit on the porch for a while.

I should tell him now how much he means to me, how much I love him, how blessed my life has been having him in it.

Or wait until morning when he has rested awhile.

I should or I shouldn’t

I could have, I should have.

I didn’t and I regret it deeply.

I could tell you that I really care about you, my friend.

I should say thanks for always being there for me.

I will…”I love you, my friend.  I depend on you being there.  Thanks.”

Bob Perks

My messages are sent free. 

The services I use to send them aren’t.

Thanks for any support you can provide.”

www.PayPal.me/GiftBobPerks

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.

“If you want to see change, if you want to see God open up new doors, the key is to bloom right where you’re planted.” – Joel Osteen

If you live east of the Mississippi, please forgive me for gloating, but Spring has officially sprung here in Southern California.  The sky is blue, the sun is warm and both my back and front yards are awash in the vivid colors of roses, azaleas, camellias and many other beautiful flowering plants.  But the plants aren’t the only things blooming now.

On April 1 (no fooling), my phone blew up with text after text from my coaching clients who had achieved their Big Goals at the end of March.  Most of them are independent consultants in the same fast-growing network marketing company.  After several months of “planting seeds” of opportunity, one was excited to have sponsored two new business partners.  Another far surpassed her personal organization’s sales volume target. And several others reached “Level 5 Leader” status — the first major step toward building a large Team of serious, successful business partners.  For one, March became the first of three consecutive months that she needs to maintain Level 5 status for her company to lease a brand new Lexus for her.

My clients didn’t achieve any of these milestones overnight or by themselves.  They had the support of their “upline” Leaders who sponsored them into the business and the consultants they personally sponsored. Everyone pulled together to make it possible, knowing the achievement of one Team member was the achievement of ALL.

Having coached them for the past several months, I knew their exciting and fulfilling accomplishments took dedication, belief and work, which reminded me of a recent daily message from Houston megachurch pastor Joel Osteen:

“If you want to see change, if you want to see God open up new doors, the key is to bloom right where you’re planted. You can’t wait until everything gets better before you decide to have a good attitude.  You have to be the best that you can be right where you are.  When you bloom where you’re planted, you’re allowing God to work in you, and He will be faithful to complete what He’s started in you!”

Each of my clients came into coaching because they had Big Goals that didn’t seem to be moving forward very quickly.  Most of them were feeling stuck, stymied  and even resentful about their inability to find people to join them in the business who were as motivated to succeed as they were.  Most of the Team members they had seemed content to just plod along, showing little ambition.

One of these clients achieved Level 5 Leader status last month , meaning she had sponsored eight serious business partners into the business and supported them in successfully selling the company’s high-end skin care products. When we began our coaching last year, she had just two partners on her Team.

Outwardly, she seemed positive and confident. But on our first coaching call, she confessed her true  feelings with surprising candor: “I am so annoyed with my Team.  Everything has rested on me.  I wish they would do more to help themselves succeed.  It’s invigorating to see my upline Leader’s Team rallying to help her win her Lexus.  I can’t see my own Team doing that for me. I don’t feel grateful for them. I want to learn to feel gratitude for my Team and for my life.”

During our first months together, I gave her a number of coaching tools to engage the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) to help her attract business partners who were as enthusiastic and hungry for success as she is. Imagine which tool was her favorite –the Daily Gratitude Journal! Every day, she faithfully wrote in it 10 things that she was grateful for in her life right NOW.

It didn’t take long before she declared, “I am really feeling GRATEFUL!  I am so grateful for the Team I have right now – each and every one of them, no matter how hard they are working.”

That’s when things really began to shift for her. When she learned to bloom right where she was planted, her newly-positive attitude attracted those who wanted to bloom alongside her. When she stopped wishing she were living in a different garden, the garden she found herself in began to bloom more beautifully than ever before.

What kind of garden do YOU find yourself planted in right now?  Imagine what your life would be like without all the wonderful things and people you often take for granted each day:

  • Are you grateful for your job, or do you wish you had a different boss or bigger paycheck?
  • Do you feel blessed to have your partner or spouse, or do you wish he or she were more loving?
  • Are you happy with your home, or do you wish it were bigger or in a better neighborhood?
  • Do you appreciate your car that gets you where you need to go, or do you wish it were newer or flashier?
  • Are you proud of your children, or do you wish they got better grades or helped with the chores more willingly?

As Joel says, if you want your opportunities to improve, you have to be the best that you can be right where you are. Start by expressing your sincere GRATITUDE for all that you have been blessed with already.  Be grateful that you have the unlimited opportunity to better yourself and your circumstances. And then strive to do your very BEST with the resources you have been given in the garden where you are planted now.

If you want more and better, believe that you have the power to attract the right people and resources to help you.  Give your very best at the job you have each day.  Be as loving and thoughtful toward your loved ones, friends, colleagues and strangers as you would like them to be toward you.  Acknowledge the young people in your life every chance you get and watch them become their best selves.

It’s a beautiful garden you live in.  Keep planting more seeds of opportunity and watch them grow!

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

In my eleven years as a full-time professional Personal Success Coach, I have been fortunate to help over 500 people pursue their Big Goals. I have witnessed most of them succeed – some far beyond what they had imagined.

Still, to be honest, a small number failed to reach their goals. On this Super Bowl Sunday, when the top two teams in American football battle it out for the title of “World Champion,” I think it’s appropriate to talk about the number one reason I believe people fail to reach their dreams, in hopes it will save you from missing the opportunity to win your own Big Game.

Just like a football team, most of my clients are pursuing a Big Goal in which other people are involved. I really can’t think of anyone who is doing it completely solo. Even someone who wants to improve their health by quitting smoking, starting an exercise routine or losing weight needs help from someone else to succeed. They need the support of their friends, family or coaches, a good program to teach them success strategies, or an accountability partner to make sure they don’t quit on themselves.

For goals involving financial success, it’s 100% certain that other people will be involved. I cannot think of a single profession, creative endeavor or business that doesn’t involve someone else buying whatever you market, invent, write or create in order for you to make money. Even in a salaried position, you must enroll someone else to hire you and approve of your job performance in order to climb the corporate ladder.

Many of the 100-plus wonderful clients who came to me through word of mouth over the past three years are involved in the same dynamic network marketing company. They know without a doubt that their success depends on others. They can sell their cutting-edge skin care products to consumers pretty easily because they really work. But if they want to create a life-changing level of financial success, they must share with others the benefits of joining the company, sponsor them onto their Team, train them and mentor them in order to create a high level of mutual success.

It isn’t easy, believe me. I have a background in network marketing myself. For over seven years in the 1990s, I was a full-time independent consultant for a great company that makes high-end nutritional supplements. I still get a monthly residual check from my early efforts, but in the end, my greatest reward was not financial; it was the personal development– learning the importance of self-belief, a positive outlook and perseverance — which the network marketing/direct sales industry embraces like no other.

I was first introduced to Master Manifesters like Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Jack Canfield, Les Brown and Tony Robbins by the industry. None of them claimed success would come easy. But all of them said it was POSSIBLE for anyone to succeed, and I knew they were right. They are the reason I eventually chose to become a Personal Success Coach. That was the greatest of many gifts that network marketing gave me.

Like my role models, I never tell my own clients that winning their Big Game will be easy. But I promise them it is 100% possible — IF they don’t make the same mistake that a handful of my past clients made in pursuing their goals: They quit. I truly believe that is the single reason they failed to reach their goals. They simply gave up too soon.

The #1 success secret for ALL my successful clients is simple: They persevered. They continued believing in their dreams even when they didn’t reach them as quickly as they imagined they would. They just kept going, even when they kept hearing “NO” – from job interviewers, possible candidates for Mr. or Ms. Right, the bathroom scale, or potential customers for their products, creative expressions, compositions or manuscripts. Even when their family, spouses, kids, teachers or partners told them it “would never work,” they did it any way. When others told them “NO,” ignored them or criticized them, they persevered and they WON.

Early in my network marketing career, when our company was just opening up the new market, I was referred to a complete stranger in Canada who was a locally-famous personal trainer. The person who recommended her said she could be a Superstar if she decided she liked the products, the company and me. I believed them.

So I called this woman once every couple of weeks, always leaving a short, polite message stating I just needed 10 minutes of her time to tell her about this important opportunity. I never got one single response from her in nine months. Nevertheless, I persevered — determined to continue leaving my polite messages until she either called me back and heard me out or told me to stop calling her, no matter how long it took.

One day, out of the blue, she called me back on Canadian Thanksgiving. She apologized for not replying sooner, explaining that she trained clients in her home basement gym 10-12 hours a day six or seven days a week and this was the first day off she’d had in months. She said she decided to call me back because she appreciated that I was “politely persistent.” And that’s how we began a business partnership which ultimately gave me the second-biggest organization in all of Canada.

Success rarely comes in the form we first envisioned or the timeframe we hoped for. But it WILL come if you have a rock-solid belief in your Big Goal and if you are willing to take action and stick with it.

This is your Big Game. Imagine it is the fourth quarter and goal to go: Hang in there. Don’t quit. PERSEVERE.  

I encourage you to watch this beautiful three-minute video on Perseverance. I think you will find it inspiring and thought-provoking and I hope you will pass it on to someone who needs it too: http://www.flickspire.com/m/WalkTheTalk/Persevere

NOTE: I wish my readers in the USA a happy Valentine’s Day and President’s Day next weekend. The blog will be taking a holiday too, and will return on Sunday, February 21. 

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************
I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching. It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached! You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish. (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for awhile, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.

“See your differences as strengths rather than handicaps. And, instead of comparing  yourself to others…be inspired by them!” – Kathy Davis in Simple Secrets: 7 Principles to Inspire Success

This week, several of my coaching clients admitted they suffer from “Facebook Envy.” Their friends and colleagues’ posts on social media appear to indicate they are enjoying more rapid success and leading more exciting, happy and fulfilling lives. One client asked me, “How do I stop comparing myself to others? It’s making me feel depressed and discouraged!”

The innate drive to compare ourselves to our peers is a survival mechanism that’s hardwired into the human Ego from caveman days. If we see another pulling ahead of us, our Ego prods us to measure ourselves against their success as a way to motivate us to try harder.

“Healthy” competition is a good thing because it gets us off the couch and makes us strive for our personal best. The “carrot” the Ego uses is the universal desire to gain recognition and tangible rewards in return for working hard and excelling at something we care about. That’s why we enter competitions and watch sports contests and awards shows. The Ego tells us that being labeled The Best at something guarantees we will be considered valuable and worthy by our peers and authority figures.

While it is certainly nice to be admired and rewarded, the truth is, you aren’t going to be cut from the herd and left to die on the savanna if you don’t come in first, or get promoted as quickly as someone else. Your placement in the social hierarchy isn’t a true measure of your value.  There is nobody else on the planet with the exact same personality, character, gifts and life purpose that YOU have. Therefore, nobody can compare to or replace you.  And because you are unique and irreplaceable, you are MORE than just “valuable” – you are PRICELESS.

Your Ego needs to understand that pushing you to compare yourself to others in order to motivate you to succeed is a “Limiting Belief” that will likely have the opposite effect of demotivating you.  Let’s examine three underlying myths about the Comparison Game:

MYTH #1: You have the FULL picture of someone else’s life. One of my clients recently admitted, “Looking at my life from the outside, everyone thinks I’m wildly successful and have it all together. The reality is that I’m a bundle of insecurities and have a mountain of debt to pay off that nobody knows about. I feel under constant pressure to succeed.”

So I asked her, “If you keep part of the truth about your life hidden from others, why would you think that you know the whole truth about THEIR life? Your colleagues post only the GOOD stuff on social media in order to motivate their Team to want to be successful too. But their lives must contain good and bad elements, just like yours. When you compare your accomplishments to theirs, based only on what they choose to let you see, aren’t you buying THEIR façade too?” Yep, she had to admit that was probably true.

MYTH #2:  It’s a level playing field. We are extremely fortunate to live in a society where if you are willing to work hard enough and steadfastly believe in your dreams, you WILL eventually succeed. Comparing how long it takes you to reach the same goal as someone else is useless because no two individuals have identical backgrounds, talents, education, experience, financial resources or contacts.

We are all inspired by individuals who overcome great disabilities, challenges or hardships to reach their dreams because we ALL have some type of handicap – including self-doubt and lack of support from loved ones. It’s never as easy as it looks from the outside. But that doesn’t mean you won’t win your game if you will just keep on playing.

Does it really matter if reaching the goal takes someone else a shorter amount of time than you?  Maybe they have some advantages you don’t, but think of the inner strength and character you will develop because your quest requires you to persevere! Imagine what our world would look like today if Edison, Disney and Jobs had given up on their dreams in the face of all the setbacks and criticism they faced? The only way you can lose your game is to quit.

MYTH #3: The Ego’s goals are the real prize. You can’t stay positive and motivated if you are in the game just for personal accolades or material rewards.  Those are great but they have a short shelf life. The Oscar ends up gathering dust on the shelf and it’s really hard to remember who won Best Actor two years ago.  Rather than allowing your Ego to fixate on the goodies you will get when you reach your goal, you must stay focused on your real WHY. What difference do you want to make for others and the world?  You won’t waste precious time on envy or pity parties if you are striving to reach a goal that is bigger than yourself.

One client told me that she originally started her network marketing business because she wanted to be able to afford a luxury vacation for her family each year. But after seeing how her leadership has empowered others on her Team, she now has a much bigger motivation for succeeding at her business. She plans to use a large portion of her earnings to support a worthy cause that helps others reach THEIR dreams.

Now, that is something her Ego can really get inspired about!

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

This New Year, give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for awhile, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* hour of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals for the New Year and get into ACTION on making it their best year yet, have them contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.

“Each of us every day has the opportunity to make a decision as to what energy, words, beliefs and actions we will release into the world. The power lies within.” – Paul Keenan

I am not a big sports buff. Still, every once in a great while, a record-breaking opportunity comes along that makes even us couch potatoes pay attention.

I was glued to the TV set for American Pharaoh’s Triple Crown win because no horse had done it in 37 years. And I have been avidly following Serena Williams’ quest to win the U.S. Open and achieve the first Grand Slam — winning all four tennis Majors in one calendar year — since Steffi Graf did it in 1988.

Serena Williams is as dominant in women’s tennis as Tiger Woods used to be in men’s golf. A powerhouse, both physically and mentally, Serena routinely serves over 120 miles per hour and has a killer forehand AND backhand. She is focused, driven and hard working. That’s why everyone was rooting for her – even her opponents! Everyone in tennis felt she deserved it as the number one female player in the world.

Still, if it were a “done deal,” there would be no excitement to her quest. She blew past most of her opponents, including Venus Williams, who played hard, but was happy that her little sister ultimately prevailed. Serena had just two opponents left to beat and this crowing achievement to her tennis career was hers.   And then it happened.

Out of nowhere, a “nobody” Italian tennis player stole the show. Roberta Vinci is a good doubles player with a singles record this year of just 25-20.   She has 60 fewer career tour titles and lost all four of their previous matches to Serena. Roberta’s U.S. Open match on Friday was her first-ever semifinal in 44 tournaments and she was the oldest female first-timer there. She, too, thought Serena deserved to win the Grand Slam.

Asked if she had awakened Friday, thinking she had a chance to beat Serena, Roberta said, “No.” After all, the odds makers had Serena favored 300-1. But what was just a routine match for Serena was Roberta’s Shining Moment in the sport she has dedicated her life to. Even if the odds were impossible, she was determined to give it her very BEST effort.

And she did. She played smart and worked hard to chase down every ball. She threw Serena off her stride by hitting more softly and executing perfect half-volleys that only career doubles players can. She broke Serena’s powerhouse serve and held her own for a 4-2 lead in the second set. By then Serena’s body language seemed to lack the usual confidence.   Roberta could see that Serena was nervous, and admitted later that when she served her final game, her own hands were shaking.“I make sure to think about relaxing, staying focused,” she said, “and not thinking that it was Serena on the other side of the net.”

In the end, Ms. Vinci had to change her Saturday plane reservation back to Italy, because she beat Serena and will play her final match of the U.S. Open against another Italian, her childhood friend and frequent opponent, Flavia Pennetta.

After the match, Serena was understandably upset and disappointed and gave a short, rather pouty interview. Who could blame her?   She summed it up perfectly when she said that Roberta had played “the best tennis of her career” and added, “I guess it’s inspiring. But, yeah, I think she played literally out of her mind.”

We all watched the match because we thought we would see something historic: a once-in-a-generation achievement by an undeniable Superstar. What we saw instead was a much more inspiring achievement by a Rocky Balboa underdog who believed in herself enough to give it her ALL, even when the odds said it was hopeless. She was willing to surprise herself and us.

We can ALL play out of our minds.   Each of us has the opportunity at least once in our lifetime to prove that we can dig down deep, give up worrying about what others think or do, and just give it our very BEST effort.

BELIEVE. COMMIT. ACT. That is the “magic formula” for success!

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching! It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached! And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift!

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call toll-free 888-503-8145.

 

“The moment you commit and quit holding back, all sorts of unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance will rise up to help you. The simple act of commitment is a powerful magnet for help.” – Napoleon Hill

What a difference a week makes! Last week, I wrote about how a (now) former client sabotaged his success by refusing to be accountable for his own decisions and actions. Today, I am celebrating the end of a month in which a number of my clients reached their BIGGEST goals through their willingness to be 100% committed to and accountable for their own success.

Several of them received a beautiful new Lexus, with the lease 100% paid for by their network marketing company. A number of newer Leaders reached “Level 5” – the first major Leadership level in the company’s pay plan. In turn, seasoned Leaders who supported them soared to new heights themselves, as the new Level 5 Leaders became the wind beneath their wings.

One of the things I respect most about the network marketing/direct sales business model is that it does not foster internal competition among the work force, as Corporate America does. In a traditional company, the Vice President has to die, retire, quit or be fired if YOU want to become the Vice President. It doesn’t matter how good you are, you have to get in line and wait your turn. But in a network marketing/direct sales company, every independent Consultant can rise to the very top – provided he or she is willing to commit to that goal and be accountable for taking the necessary actions to achieve it.

I am so impressed by the teamwork I witnessed among my clients – “upline” Leaders and their “downline” Leaders actively helped each other to reach their individual goals. The abundance mentality and camaraderie were inspiring. I want to share with you the key lessons I got from watching them overcome every obstacle that stood in their way, because these are the necessary components for reaching ANY Big Goal you may have:

1) You do not have to know how you are going to reach your Big Goal.  You just have to be 100% committed that you WILL. There is no try! You are either 100% IN or you might as well sit comfortably on the sidelines and save yourself the effort. To me, the definition of “commitment” is a rock-solid BELIEF that you will reach your Big Goal coupled with a willingness to PERSEVERE in overcoming all obstacles in your path. The “How” starts to take shape as soon as you demonstrate that you are 100% committed to your Big Goal. That’s when God/The Universe sends you the people, resources and unexpected help to reach it in seemingly-miraculous ways.

2) You must ask for help and support. Every Leader I watched reach her Big Goal last month had lots of help from her Teammates, friends and family. It can be humbling to ask for help, especially if you are used to being the go-to person to whom others look for support. Even star athletes in individual sports have coaches, trainers, sponsors, family and friends who provide the essential support that lets them do their best and WIN. Doesn’t it feel good to YOU whenever you help someone else get something they really want? You have to remember that the same is true for others. Please allow them to experience the joy of being part of a Team Goal that is bigger than themselves!

3) Don’t ever let another’s lack of belief affect yours. An emerging Leader who was running for a Big Goal last month received a scathing email from her well-meaning former boss, telling her she was crazy to be involved in network marketing and inviting her to come back to work for her in the “sane” corporate world. I was so proud of my client. She refused to get defensive or let another person’s perspective make her doubt herself or her dreams. She sent a short message thanking her old boss for her concern, but stating that she loved what she was doing, was successful, and was soon going to be even MORE successful. She went on to quadruple the size of her Team in just 30 days!

4) Watch your language. One of my Seasoned Leader clients wisely coached her newer Team members to watch the words they used when talking about  their Big Goals. She knew the immense power words have to influence their BELIEF. We literally “brainwash” our subconscious mind — for good OR for bad – through our choice of words. So she constantly reminded her Team members to say, “WHEN I reach my Goal,” instead of “IF I reach my Goal.”   Instead of “I’m not good at sponsoring,” she taught them to say, “I am getting better at sponsoring every day.”

5) Never, never, never give up. Even if you are just a few hours from the deadline to reach your Big Goal, DO NOT mentally throw in the towel! The minute your commitment wavers, the energy of the whole Team flags and the game is lost. One of my clients reached her Big Leadership Goal during the last 15 minutes of the month! She never gave up, so her Team didn’t either. If Plan A didn’t work, they immediately turned to Plan B. The unexpected blessing that came out of them all pulling together to help their Leader reach her goal was that two of the Team members whose businesses had been dormant for months suddenly revived their enthusiasm and are now back to actively working on their own success.

Stronger faith, greater inner strength, a sense of accomplishment, the joy of teamwork, learning to graciously accept help from others – these are the REAL prizes that come from being committed to reaching a Big Goal. Public recognition, more money, a new car – these are merely the fun little “carrots” that God/The Universe dangles in front of our Egos to lure us out of our comfort zones so we can make the effort to grow and develop into the BEST we can be. Thank goodness we keep falling for it!

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching! It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached! And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift!

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call toll-free 888-503-8145.