“What this power is, I cannot say.  All I know is that it exists….and it becomes available only when you are in that state of mind in which you know exactly what you want…and are fully determined not to quit until you get it.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Have you ever wanted something so badly you just ached for it — and then you let your fear stop you from getting it?

You hesitated just a few moments before taking the first step toward your Big Goal and then watched helplessly as the “magic moment” that could have catapulted you forward passed. You didn’t cross the room to ask that special someone to dance, you didn’t ask your boss for a raise, you didn’t apply for your dream job, you didn’t take your friend up on the opportunity to join her business, you didn’t sign up for the audition….You never did get your heart’s desire and you have regretted it ever since.

Of course you have done that!  I know because I have done that. Everybody who ever walked this planet has done it. That’s because whenever we have a strong urge to go after something, our Ego’s default mode is to hesitate. We pause before leaping into action just long enough to listen to the little Doubter Voice in our head, which is determined to stop you from taking that action. This is the cause of what we call “self-sabotage.”  We KNOW we really, really want something and we KNOW exactly what we have to do to get it, but we just cannot seem to MAKE ourselves take that first step.

If you want to reach your Big Goals and stop this maddening cycle of self-sabotage, you couldn’t find a better instruction manual than motivational speaker and life coach Mel Robbins’ new book “The 5 Second Rule.”  I have shared her TED talk about the 5 Second Rule with hundreds of people, and many of my coaching clients are reading her book right now because Mel is going to be one of the keynote speakers at their network marketing company’s September convention.

The way she developed her simple but effective tool for circumventing the hesitation urge that stops you from getting your dreams is a compelling story. Years ago, this former attorney’s financial world suddenly collapsed when her husband’s over-extended restaurant business started to fail and her own fledgling media career tanked at the same time. Rapidly, this successful power couple became heavily-in-debt “failures.” Blindsided, she felt numb and hopeless and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t seem to motivate herself to get out of bed each morning to handle her many daunting life challenges.

That posed a serious problem for her family because her children were not getting ready for school on time and were missing the bus day after day.  Her marriage was in jeopardy too. Her husband resented that he was working around the clock to try to save his business while she was sleeping in and avoiding looking for a job that could bring in some much-needed income.

Then one morning when her alarm rang, Mel spontaneously created a simple but very effective tool to push her brain past the paralyzing fear that was making her hit the snooze alarm again and again.  She counted down aloud like the rocket launch she had recently watched on television “Five. Four. Three. Two. One. GO!” When she got to “Go,” she miraculously threw back the covers, stood up and started her day, which led her to starting a new life.

Her book explains in fascinating detail exactly WHY that little fear voice in your head stops you from pursuing your Big Goals. (It is part of your normal, healthy Ego’s defense mechanism to try to keep you “safe” by keeping you on the couch instead of allowing you to make any changes that could possibly turn out to be a physical or emotional “risk.”)  Then she explains exactly how you can use the 5 Second Rule countdown to leverage yourself into taking the first step toward creating a new career, stopping yourself from giving in to your negative urges like smoking, alcohol or overeating, finding your perfect mate, getting a raise, expressing yourself artistically – ANY Big Goal you have in life.

She says, “Are you waiting for someone to ask you, drag you, pick you or catapult you into the spotlight, or are you willing to find the courage to push yourself?  Are you waiting to feel ready?  Waiting for the right time. Waiting to gain confidence.  Waiting to feel like it.  Waiting to feel worthy.  Waiting until you have more experience.

“Sometimes there is no next time, no second chance, or no time out.  Stop waiting.  It’s now or never.  When you wait, you aren’t procrastinating.  You are doing something more dangerous.  You are deliberately convincing yourself ‘now is not the time.’  You are actively working against your dreams.”

Mel’s book is filled with messages from people who have used the 5 Second Rule to overcome their Ego’s self-sabotaging fears and JUST DO IT.  And their results have been phenomenal.

Mel says, “The difference between people who make their dreams come true and those of us who don’t is just one thing: the courage to start and the discipline to keep going.  The Rule is a game-changer because it 5-4-3-2-1 forces you to get out of your head and start and it’ll 5-4-3-2-1 help you keep going…..When you 5-4-3-2-1 push yourself forward you’ll discover the magic in your life and open yourself up to the world, to opportunity, and to possibility.  You might not get the girl, the part, or the response you wanted but that’s not the point.  In the end, you’ll get something way cooler – you’ll discover the power inside of you.”

I invite you to watch (or re-watch) Mel Robbin’s 20 minute TEDx talk from several years ago.  Here’s the You Tube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc

And I very much encourage you to read The 5 Second Rule and USE what it teaches you. The life of your dreams is waiting for you — and the start of it is just FIVE SECONDS away!

If you would like your own F.R.E.E. subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.  Your information will never be shared with anyone.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate.  If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

When several of my coaching clients told me they were reading You Are a Bad Ass at Making Money by Jen Sincero and vowed that it was EVEN better than her fabulous You Are a Bad Ass, I immediately ordered a copy. I am SO glad I did!

My autographed copy arrived just in time for me to devour most of it on our long flights to and from Hawaii last month. I am urging you now: RUN, don’t walk, to get this book….IF you are interested in having more financial prosperity in your life.  In fact, if you are interested in having more of ANYTHING in your life.

Really, the only thing I can come up with that doesn’t require money is LOVE. So, if we are honest, what concerns us most is how to create more MONEY in our lives because money is the foundation for having time freedom, dream homes, beautiful cars, the best educational opportunities for our kids, creative pursuits, exciting travel adventures and the ability to fully support our favorite charities and causes.

I truly have not been so impressed with a book about the Law of Attraction (which states that “energy attracts like energy”) since The Power by Rhonda Byrne years ago.  Sincero’s new book is so clear, so easy to understand, and so damn FUNNY, I promise that you will turn the pages quickly and laugh out loud frequently, as I did — and then decide to go back and re-read it and do every exercise in the book.

I have been studying, teaching and striving to fully LIVE the formula for using the power of your mind and energy to create anything you want since I was first introduced to it via the network marketing industry in the mid-1990’s.  They didn’t call it “The Law of Attraction” back then (credit for that goes to Rhonda Byrne and The Secret), but authors have been trying to explain how to use it to make your dreams a reality for several centuries. (Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill was one of the first, and still one of the best, modern books on this topic.)

I have gotten many useful insights and ideas from these scores of books and videos by Master Manifesters over the years, which I have put into practice in my own life.  I have used The Law of Attraction to dig our family out of a deep financial hole from the Great Recession, to find the perfect car, the perfect home and the perfect husband (Yes, Rick, you ARE perfect!).  I have used it to create magical vacation experiences and to survive serious threats to our financial and physical well- being.  I know it is real and I know it works.  Reliably, every time.

I got one very useful NEW insight about the Law of Attraction from Jen Sincero’s latest book (which is filled with jaw-dropping and often funny stories of her and her coaching clients’ triumphs at creating large amounts of money when it looked like they didn’t have a prayer of doing so) about the fact that FEAR is always going to be a factor in manifesting what you want.

If you are pursuing the HOW that is going to get you the money or item you really, really want, you have to realize that you MUST experience some discomfort or even cold sweat FEAR in order to get it.  That doesn’t mean that the How contains a REAL risk to your physical well-being.  It usually indicates that your Ego is terrified that you will either fail and will then be ridiculed or devastated emotionally OR that you will succeed and be overwhelmed by your new power and responsibilities or disliked by those who are jealous of your success.

The FEAR can stop you from having your greatest desire when it is right at your fingertips.  You have to WANT it so much and BELIEVE that you are going to get it so deeply that you are willing to walk through all fear or discomfort and come out the other side.  If you are willing to face your fear and do it anyway, you have a great shot at success.

Jen is great at telling it like it is. I love that she doesn’t sugar-coat this because I know that my own Ego and my coaching clients’ Egos have threatened to sabotage us by trying to convince us that the “risk” is REAL and we should STOP NOW in our pursuit of our Big Dreams. (These fears are called “Limiting Beliefs” for a reason!)  If you follow the steps of the Law of Attraction and if your belief is stronger than your Ego’s fear, I know that it WILL work for you. Reliably, every time.

My own most recent Law of Attraction manifestation experience happened last week:  While Rick and I were out delivering his monthly newsletter to each door in his real estate “farm,” I declared to God/The Universe that, “I am creating that Rick will get at least one new real estate transaction from this newsletter.”  I really BELIEVED it and felt EXCITED to see how God/The Universe would make it happen. (Two musts for using the Law of Attraction to manifest what you want, according to Sincero’s book.)

The following day, which was Memorial Day, Rick and I entered a local restaurant and caught sight of our favorite server in the main dining room. We hadn’t seen “Marie” in quite a few months because she only works weekdays and we usually go there for brunch on Sunday. Also, we arrived at the end of the lunch rush, which was usually the time she went home, so it was a lovely surprise to see her still there. We asked to be seated in her section and Rick ran back to the car to get one of his newsletters, as Marie always likes to guess Rick’s monthly “trivia quiz” for a chance at a gift card.

At first, Marie frowned at the hostess, clearly indicating that she was about to end her shift and didn’t really want any new customers.  But when she saw it was us, she beamed and came rushing over to our table, exclaiming, “This is a sign from the Universe that you are here!”  As Rick handed her his newsletter, she told him that she has finally decided to take action on her longtime dream of selling her condo and moving to Idaho, where her retired father (and co-owner of her condo) now lives.

“I have been torn between using you or my dear friend ‘Linda’ to list my house for sale.  She and I have been friends for years, but she is new to real estate and Dad is urging me to use someone more experienced.  Now, here you are, and I take that as my sign it’s supposed to be YOU!” 

And with that, Rick secured his next client.  It was not exactly the HOW I had envisioned, but that is something Jen Sincero emphasizes we have to give up.  We can’t control HOW God/The Universe chooses to fulfill our desires.  Our job is to be CLEAR about what we want, to BELIEVE it will happen, and to take committed ACTION toward our goals– which inevitably means we have to walk through our fear and do it anyway!

So I have decided to step through one of my own big fears and declare this:  I am offering anyone who reads my blog and their friends, colleagues and loved ones the chance to attend a virtual Law of Attraction Summer Camp that I am creating for July and August.

You send your kids to summer camp to help them stay actively engaged, learn new skills, gain confidence, have fun and make new friends. Why shouldn’t we adults use our summer to do the same AND learn exactly how to manifest anything we want – especially money!

I am offering you and your friends the chance to learn exactly how to do this, as I have been doing in my own life and teaching my coaching clients to do for many years now. We will all read You Are a Bad Ass at Making Money together during the two month course, to get the wonderful foundation in Law of Attraction principles that Jen Sincero provides. During the six one-hour classes, I will teach you even MORE practical applications of her precepts.  I will share with you my very BEST tools, tips and techniques that I have used for over 20 years to “make the Law of Attraction my bitch,” as Jen Sincero would say.  I will do group coaching as part of each session AND hold at least one private phone coaching session with each participant, all included in the very affordable course fee.

The scary part for me?  For the first time ever, I am going to present via a Zoom webinar.  (Participants who don’t want to use Zoom for free can still use the telephone to access the seminar.) Tele-seminars have been my familiar, comfortable format up to now.  And learning new technology is not my strong suit….So this is uncharted territory for me.  I am both scared and excited to stretch and grow my presentation and group coaching skills to make the class as engaging and participatory as possible because I want everyone to actually REACH a Big Goal they have set by the end of the two months (whether financial or otherwise).

If you want to learn to manifest your dreams more easily – reliably, every time – I hope you will join me at a Summer Camp for your wallet!  Let’s support each other to put something at stake for the course, walk through our fears, and prove that we can each manifest a Big Goal by the end of summer 2017!

Stay tuned for more details about the course and how to register in a separate email that will come to you soon.  I hope you will forward it to others and help me spread the word to everyone you know who wants their life to be MORE fulfilling, MORE prosperous, MORE joyful and MORE fun!

If you would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to my website at http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for a while, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com  or toll free 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.   

 

“Many of us are afraid to follow our passions, to pursue what we want most because it means taking risks and even facing failure. But to pursue your passion with all your heart and soul is success in itself.   The greatest failure is to have never really tried.” – Robyn Allen 

In the first three installments of this four-part series, we examined the reason for the disheartening phenomenon we have all experienced at some time: You really, really wanted something, but for some reason you couldn’t fathom, you just could NOT take the actions you needed to take to reach your goal. Or, worse, the actions you DID take produced the opposite result of what you wanted.

The culprit behind this phenomenon is your Inner Protector – the part of your psyche whose essential job is to keep you safe and get your material, physical, psychological and emotional needs met. As it tries to protect you from the dire outcomes it imagines will happen if you go after your goal, your well-meaning Protector unintentionally sabotages your success.

In order to have the necessary internal “clearance” to pursue your goal, you must persuade your Inner Protector that its long-held Limiting Belief about your chances of success is actively hurting, rather than helping you.   Then you must give it a new Empowering Belief to install in place of the old Limiting Belief that will support you in pursuing your goal.

There are many different coaching approaches to uncovering and changing Limiting Beliefs and I promised to give you the details of one of my favorites: The Change Belief Exercise has proven to be a simple and effective one for hundreds of my clients over the years.

As I explained, the first step is the only challenging part of this exercise: identifying the CORE Limiting Belief that your Protector holds about what will happen to you if you pursue a specific goal. It’s easiest for a trained coach to ask the most effective questions and know how to drill down deeper. However, a trusted and objective third party could also help you with the questioning until you both feel you have gotten down to the deepest, most significant Core Limiting Belief that your Protector is convinced is the “Truth.” The telltale sign that you have reached bottom is that you will feel a strong negative emotional reaction when you state the belief aloud. Typical reactions include anger, annoyance, frustration, sadness or resignation. You could get queasy, teary or want to punch someone.

Here are some real examples of Core Limiting Beliefs my clients have identified:

The price of success is losing my family.

It’s impossible to be rich AND carefree.

No matter what I do, it’s never enough.

I’m never going to be able to impress them, so why bother?

If I don’t work really hard for it, I don’t deserve to have it.

I am not supported by anyone; I have to do it ALL by myself.

If I ask for help, they will think I’m using them.

If I share my truth with passion, they will reject me.

When you believe you have found your CORE Limiting Belief, the next step is for you to write out your answers to the following 12 questions that are designed to prove to your Inner Protector that this belief – which it thinks is protecting you — is actually going to HURT you if you continue to operate according to it:

How do I change my Limiting Beliefs? 

PLEASE ANSWER EACH OF THESE 12 QUESTIONS thoughtfully and thoroughly. Type your answer in below each question. (Stop only when you can’t think of ANYTHING more to say.)

MY LIMITING BELIEF IS(Ex: “If I make a lot of money something bad will happen.”)

Create doubt about the old belief. Question it constantly and you will begin to doubt it:

1) How is this belief ridiculous or absurd?

2) Where did this belief start? Am I buying someone else’s belief – if so, whose?

3) What will it ultimately cost me in this area if I don’t let go of this belief? 

Link pain to the Limiting Belief. Do this by asking questions of consequences:

4) What will believing this cost me in the future? What will I miss out on?

5) What tragedy could arise if I continue to believe this?

6) What will I lose?

7) How will I FEEL if the above answers become true?

Find replacements for your Limiting Beliefs. If you don’t find an empowering alternative to the old belief, you will always go back to the old belief:

8) What do I NEED to believe in order to succeed here?

9) Who do I know who is succeeding in this area, and what do they (seem to) believe differently?

 Link pleasure to the new belief by asking these questions:

10) What will I achieve in the future believing this? What will I gain?

11) How will that make me FEEL?

12) What negative consequences will I avoid in the future believing this?

Here are some examples of the replacement Empowering Beliefs my clients have created (with my editing assistance):

I give great value to others and I deserve a fair return.

Having money is a great tool for doing what I enjoy AND helping others.

People are open and receptive to what I have to say.

Success comes from effort, not elegance.

People like me and I am great at what I do.

I can be successful AND happy being who I truly am.

God wants me to thrive, not just survive.

Remember, NONE of our beliefs is the “Truth.”  Beliefs are just our interpretation of the Truth, based on limited experience. The good news is that because we make them up, we can also CHANGE our beliefs if we choose to!

NASA’s astronaut training experiments have demonstrated that it takes the average brain 25 to 30 days of REGULAR repetition of some physical activity or thought pattern to create a new neural pathway for a new “Go-To” action or thought. That’s how you learn to type, play an instrument or drive a car automatically without having to consciously think about every keystroke or where your foot is on the pedals.

Therefore, for it to become your new “Go-To” thought that unconsciously guides your actions, you must PRACTICE saying your New, Empowering Belief very regularly for at least one month. I have my clients say it ALOUD with feeling, at least twice a day. It’s especially important to do it before you venture out into the world in the morning and last thing before sleep, in order to embed it firmly in your subconscious.

Once you begin to see yourself responding to familiar “fear” triggers from the perspective of your new Empowering Belief instead of your old Limiting Belief, you will know that your Inner Protector is adopting its new “reality.” Once it does, you will have more freedom to take actions that your Protector once thought too “risky” – the very actions that are most likely to help you reach your Big Goals!

If you have any questions or would like help with identifying and changing your own Core Limiting Belief about a Big Goal you are pursuing, I invite you to schedule a complimentary, no-obligation consultation to explore how coaching might assist you!

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What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your Big Goals and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: http://practicalprosperitycoach.com or contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation!

 

“You gain strength and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Since Halloween is on our minds this month, I thought it would be fun to address the pros and cons of fear. Yes, fear can be FUN!

While not everyone’s cup of tea, creating ways to scare ourselves seems to be a widespread phenomenon among human beings worldwide. Why else would millions of us devour Stephen King novels, flock to horror movies and pay big bucks to be scared silly at terrifying amusement park attractions?

I was blessed to be friends with the iconic science fiction author Ray Bradbury (Farenheit 451, The Martian Chronicles, Something Wicked This Way Comes, etc.) for over forty years. Halloween was his favorite holiday and I always cherished receiving a hand-drawn Halloween greeting card from him every year. Most of his books contain some deliciously frightening elements. Ray said being frightened is something we can only enjoy because we know it isn’t REAL. We are thrilled by the adrenaline jolt we get because part of our brain knows we are actually safely sitting in our seat eating popcorn, not being chased by a crazy masked guy with a chain saw.

When feeling afraid is NOT fun is when we believe the thing we dread could happen to us for real. Unfortunately, that is a widespread phenomenon, too. As a coach, I spend about 25% of my time helping my clients strategize about how to reach their Big Goals and 75% of my time helping them overcome their fears about what terrible things might happen to them if they do (or don’t).

Fear of Success is real for many of my clients. That’s because the human Ego tries to protect us by warning us via our imaginations about all the negative outcomes it can conjure up that might happen from pursuing our plans. This causes our Inner Protector’s negative “What Ifs?” to become unconsciously entwined with our Big Goals.

Many success-oriented people feel torn inside because, while they passionately want to pursue their dreams, they fear that means they must miss out on precious time with their families. They worry that their spouses will become estranged from them and their children will grow up resenting them. Yes, that does sometimes happen for real, of course. But it does not mean that it is INEVITABLE.

What is the antidote to Fear of Success? Developing specific strategies in advance can help you handle the potential problems your Inner Protector’s fertile imagination conjures up to stop you from pursuing your goals. Instead of fighting it, you can acknowledge your Inner Protector for sending you an early warning signal and then go about setting up your strategies to help you handle success when it comes.

One easy and surprisingly effective strategy is to take a few minutes each weekend to plan and schedule ALL your upcoming weekly activities into your appointment planner. Collaborate with your loved ones to include a balance of work and personal time in the week. That way, they know that you are drawing firm boundaries between your work and personal time and that they will have your focused attention when you are not in “work time”. Planning your balanced weekly schedule demonstrates to your loved ones that they are important to you and allows them to participate in creating the family’s future prosperity and happiness together. Contrary to some people’s fears, you CAN enjoy quality time with loved ones AND passionately pursue your Big Goals.

On the flip side, a number of my clients have a Fear of Failure. Their Inner Protector’s worries are all about what might happen if they give it their all and then FAIL to reach their goals. Often fear of failure is something they have carried inside them since childhood, rooted in some painful experience with judgmental parents, teachers or other authority figures. Their Inner Protector warns them that they will disappoint those they love and be judged harshly or even punished by those they respect. Worst of all, if they try and fail, they will finally have to admit that they simply aren’t “good enough.”

Their Inner Protector tries to stop them from going after their Big Goal by pointing out the many ways they don’t stack up against others who are succeeding — in their abilities, experience, knowledge, even their courage! There’s a great Catch 22! They are made to fear that they won’t be able to break through their fears in order to take the required actions for success! No wonder they feel paralyzed and stuck — It seems so much safer not to try in the first place.

What is the antidote to Fear of Failure? Trying to run away from it only makes you feel like a greater failure and a coward to boot. In order to overcome a fear of trying and failing, you must “really stop to look fear in the face,” as Eleanor said. When you do, you will very likely recognize that your fear isn’t based on FACT, but rather on an Old Limiting Belief that was created by your Inner Protector to explain some unpleasant experience you had in the past.

Next time: We will discuss exactly how you can look a Limiting Belief “in the face,” dismantle it, and stop that crazy masked guy with the chain saw from chasing you away from your Big Goals!

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What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your big dreams and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: http://practicalprosperitycoach.com or contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation!