September 27, 2020

This weekend, I am happily busy with doing homework assignments for an online course that I am taking about creating online courses, while at the same time teaching an online course of my own! So here is a lightly-edited post from two years ago that is just as relevant today.  I hope you enjoy it (again).

August 18, 2018

“What this power is, I cannot say.  All I know is that it exists….and it becomes available only when you are in that state of mind in which you know exactly what you want…and are fully determined not to quit until you get it.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Have you ever wanted something so badly you just ached for it — and then you let your fear stop you from getting it?

You hesitated just a few moments before taking the first step toward your Big Goal and then watched helplessly as the “magic moment” that could have catapulted you forward passed. You didn’t cross the room to ask that special someone to dance, you didn’t ask your boss for a raise, you didn’t apply for your dream job, you didn’t take your friend up on the opportunity to join her business, you didn’t sign up for the audition….You never did get your heart’s desire and you have regretted it ever since.

Of course you have done that!  I know because I have done that. Everybody who ever walked this planet has done it. That’s because whenever we have a strong urge to go after something, our Ego’s default mode is to hesitate. We pause before leaping into action just long enough to listen to the little Fear Voice in our head, which is determined to stop you from taking that action. This is the cause of what we call “self-sabotage.”  We KNOW we really, really want something and we KNOW exactly what we have to do to get it, but we just cannot seem to MAKE ourselves take that first step.

If you want to reach your Big Goals and stop this maddening cycle of self-sabotage, you couldn’t find a better instruction manual than motivational speaker and life coach Mel Robbins’ book “The 5 Second Rule.”  I have shared her TEDx talk about the 5 Second Rule with hundreds of people, and many of my coaching clients have read her book because Mel was one of the keynote speakers at their direct sales company’s convention.

The way she developed her simple but effective trademark tool for circumventing the hesitation urge that stops you from getting your dreams is a compelling story. Years ago, this former attorney’s financial world suddenly collapsed when her husband’s over-extended restaurant business started to fail and her own fledgling media career tanked at the same time. Rapidly, this successful power couple became heavily-in-debt “failures.” Blindsided, she felt numb and hopeless and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t seem to motivate herself to get out of bed each morning to handle her many daunting life challenges.

That posed a serious problem for her family because her children were not getting ready for school on time and were missing the bus day after day.  Her marriage was in jeopardy too. Her husband resented that he was working around the clock to try to save his business while she was sleeping in and avoiding looking for a job that could bring in some much-needed income.

Then one morning when her alarm rang, Mel spontaneously created a simple but very effective tool to push her brain past the paralyzing fear that was making her hit the snooze alarm again and again.  She counted down aloud like the rocket launch she had recently watched on television “Five. Four. Three. Two. One. GO!” When she got to “Go,” that word triggered her subconscious mind to automatically throw back the covers, and she stood up and started her day, which led her to starting a new life.

Her book explains in fascinating detail exactly WHY that little Fear Voice in your head stops you from pursuing your Big Goals. It is part of your normal, healthy Ego’s survival mechanism to try to keep you “safe” by keeping you on the couch instead of allowing you to make any changes in your life that could possibly turn out to be a physical or emotion “risk.”

Mel also explains exactly how you can use the 5 Second Rule countdown to leverage yourself into taking the critical first step toward creating a new career, stopping yourself from giving in to your negative urges like smoking, alcohol or overeating, finding your perfect mate, getting a raise, expressing yourself artistically – ANY Big Goal you have in life.

She says, “Are you waiting for someone to ask you, drag you, pick you or catapult you into the spotlight, or are you willing to find the courage to push yourself?  Are you waiting to feel ready?  Waiting for the right time. Waiting to gain confidence.  Waiting to feel like it.  Waiting to feel worthy.  Waiting until you have more experience.

“Sometimes there is no next time, no second chance, or no time out.  Stop waiting.  It’s now or never.  When you wait, you aren’t procrastinating.  You are doing something more dangerous.  You are deliberately convincing yourself ‘now is not the time.’  You are actively working against your dreams.”

Mel’s book is filled with messages from people who have used the 5 Second Rule to overcome their Ego’s self-sabotaging fears and JUST DO IT.  And their results have been phenomenal.

Mel says, The difference between people who make their dreams come true and those of us who don’t is just one thing: the courage to start and the discipline to keep going.  The Rule is a game-changer because it 5-4-3-2-1 forces you to get out of your head and start and it’ll 5-4-3-2-1 help you keep going…..When you 5-4-3-2-1 push yourself forward you’ll discover the magic in your life and open yourself up to the world, to opportunity, and to possibility.  You might not get the girl, the part, or the response you wanted but that’s not the point.  In the end, you’ll get something way cooler – you’ll discover the power inside of you.”

I invite you to watch (or re-watch) Mel Robbin’s 20-minute TEDx talk from several years ago.  Here’s the You Tube link:

And I very much encourage you to read The 5 Second Rule and USE what it teaches you. The life of your dreams is waiting for you — and the start of it is just FIVE SECONDS away!

IMPORTANT NOTE: The blog is taking next weekend off and will return on Sunday October 11 with a fresh Cup of Caroll!

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****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at

“When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” – Tuli Kupferberg

From time to time, we all fall into self-defeating mental habits that need to be recognized and broken.  Whether it’s in the area of health, relationship, career or finances, we must periodically question our beliefs to see if we’ve developed an unconscious negative thought pattern that is sabotaging our success.

One common Limiting Belief is some variation of “It’s too late for me”: “I’m too old to go back to school and earn my degree,” “I’m too out of shape to train for a marathon,” “It’s too late to find love at my age.”

None of these beliefs is the Truth. They are just your Ego’s interpretation of events that have happened to you or things others have told you. Out of that limited information, your Ego forms a Limiting Belief  to try to protect you from emotional, mental or physical harm.  If your Ego believes the odds of success for some endeavor you are contemplating are not in your favor, it believes it is doing its job of protecting you from physical harm or personal disappointment by making you afraid to try.  If it FEELS risky to your Ego, you will likely assume the Limiting Belief  it is trying to sell you really IS the truth and throw in the towel before you have even tried.

One of my clients is currently pursuing a Big Goal she wants to reach by the end of March so she can qualify for a special trip with other Leaders in her company.  She ended February half-way to her goal of sponsoring eight active business partners, but that wasn’t where she hoped to be, and she told me honestly that she was feeling disappointed and nervous that she won’t reach her goal in time.

Still, she told me she won’t be “devastated” if she doesn’t reach her Big Goal this month, because her own Sponsor told her that “It’s OK if I don’t make it” in this time frame and win the trip.

I totally agree she should not feel “devastated” if she plays full out and doesn’t get to the finish line this month because that emotion would signal that she is “attached” to this goal, rather than being “committed” to it.  Attachment is when your Ego makes reaching the goal mean something that it really doesn’t mean – such as defining your innate value. If you do your best to reach a goal and miss the mark, it does NOT mean you are “unworthy” or a “failure.”  It may simply indicate that you needed to learn something from the experience that was more valuable than reaching the goal itself.  And it absolutely does NOT mean you won’t ever reach it.

In contrast, when you are committed to a goal, you are completely willing to take ACTION to the best of your ability, without being attached to the timing or delivery method of the final outcome. It means your Higher Self is listening for Divine guidance and not concerned with “being right” or having the “How” show up in a particular way or from a particular individual.  Your Higher Self is willing to give it everything it’s got, without the false “emotional safety” conditions that your Ego looks for before it allows you to take action.

If you are letting your Ego’s attachment to the outcome and fear of failure guide you, it’s very likely you will not take the ACTIONS that are required to reach the goal – because those ACTIONS require commitment and courage.

I suggested to my client that she has almost an entire month left to go to reach her Big Goal, and yet it sounds like she and her Sponsor have already decided that it’s “ too late” for her to succeed. I told her I have witnessed several of my clients in the same network marketing company accomplish exactly what she wants to do in just one month. I asked if she believed it was possible for HER too and she said “Yes!”  Yet, in reviewing her Action Plan for reaching her Big Goal this month, it was apparent that  her Ego has been telling her that it is already “too late,” in order to stop her from taking the very actions that could lead to her success.

On our prior weekly call, she told me about two women she thought could be great at her business and she promised to speak to them – but she didn’t.  I asked her why and she said she knew it was silly but she felt “afraid” to approach these two moms whom she sees daily at her child’s school during drop off and pick up times. Her Ego had planted some nebulous fear that something “bad” would happen to her if she asked them for 15 minutes to discuss her business opportunity and see if either of them was interested.

So we played the “What’s the worst that could happen?” mindset-investigation game.  I asked her that question and she said, “I don’t know.” Then I suggested some really BAD things that they might do to her if she approached them: They could make fun of her in front of the other parents, refuse to speak to her ever again, complain to the authorities that she was harassing them, slap her as she stood in front of the school, etc. etc. etc.  And she began to laugh….Because she saw how ludicrous it was to think that anything truly BAD could actually happen to her. Her rational mind quickly recognized that the REAL worst case scenario she might encounter from approaching these two prospective business partners was likely to be a polite “No thank you.”  I asked her if she were more committed to her Big Goal or to avoiding that possible outcome. She vowed right then to talk to her two Hot Prospects and many others as quickly as possible.

If she follows through on her promise to reach out to as many people as possible with her invitation to talk — without prejudging or fearing their response — she will be demonstrating her commitment to her Big Goal. Because the Law of Attraction says “energy attracts like energy,” it stands to reason that her rock-solid commitment will attract to her the people who are ready to say, ”YES!” right NOW.  She just has to believe that it’s NOT too late. In fact, it’s just the beginning of her ultimate success.

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish.  (If you haven’t been in coaching with me for awhile, feel free to claim it for YOURSELF, too!)

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help them clarify their Big Goals and get into ACTION to make this their BEST year yet, have them email me at or 888-503-8145 to schedule their session.