“What this power is, I cannot say.  All I know is that it exists….and it becomes available only when you are in that state of mind in which you know exactly what you want…and are fully determined not to quit until you get it.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Have you ever wanted something so badly you just ached for it — and then you let your fear stop you from getting it?

You hesitated just a few moments before taking the first step toward your Big Goal and then watched helplessly as the “magic moment” that could have catapulted you forward passed. You didn’t cross the room to ask that special someone to dance, you didn’t ask your boss for a raise, you didn’t apply for your dream job, you didn’t take your friend up on the opportunity to join her business, you didn’t sign up for the audition….You never did get your heart’s desire and you have regretted it ever since.

Of course you have done that!  I know because I have done that. Everybody who ever walked this planet has done it. That’s because whenever we have a strong urge to go after something, our Ego’s default mode is to hesitate. We pause before leaping into action just long enough to listen to the little Doubter Voice in our head, which is determined to stop you from taking that action. This is the cause of what we call “self-sabotage.”  We KNOW we really, really want something and we KNOW exactly what we have to do to get it, but we just cannot seem to MAKE ourselves take that first step.

If you want to reach your Big Goals and stop this maddening cycle of self-sabotage, you couldn’t find a better instruction manual than motivational speaker and life coach Mel Robbins’ new book “The 5 Second Rule.”  I have shared her TED talk about the 5 Second Rule with hundreds of people, and many of my coaching clients are reading her book right now because Mel is going to be one of the keynote speakers at their network marketing company’s September convention.

The way she developed her simple but effective tool for circumventing the hesitation urge that stops you from getting your dreams is a compelling story. Years ago, this former attorney’s financial world suddenly collapsed when her husband’s over-extended restaurant business started to fail and her own fledgling media career tanked at the same time. Rapidly, this successful power couple became heavily-in-debt “failures.” Blindsided, she felt numb and hopeless and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t seem to motivate herself to get out of bed each morning to handle her many daunting life challenges.

That posed a serious problem for her family because her children were not getting ready for school on time and were missing the bus day after day.  Her marriage was in jeopardy too. Her husband resented that he was working around the clock to try to save his business while she was sleeping in and avoiding looking for a job that could bring in some much-needed income.

Then one morning when her alarm rang, Mel spontaneously created a simple but very effective tool to push her brain past the paralyzing fear that was making her hit the snooze alarm again and again.  She counted down aloud like the rocket launch she had recently watched on television “Five. Four. Three. Two. One. GO!” When she got to “Go,” she miraculously threw back the covers, stood up and started her day, which led her to starting a new life.

Her book explains in fascinating detail exactly WHY that little fear voice in your head stops you from pursuing your Big Goals. (It is part of your normal, healthy Ego’s defense mechanism to try to keep you “safe” by keeping you on the couch instead of allowing you to make any changes that could possibly turn out to be a physical or emotional “risk.”)  Then she explains exactly how you can use the 5 Second Rule countdown to leverage yourself into taking the first step toward creating a new career, stopping yourself from giving in to your negative urges like smoking, alcohol or overeating, finding your perfect mate, getting a raise, expressing yourself artistically – ANY Big Goal you have in life.

She says, “Are you waiting for someone to ask you, drag you, pick you or catapult you into the spotlight, or are you willing to find the courage to push yourself?  Are you waiting to feel ready?  Waiting for the right time. Waiting to gain confidence.  Waiting to feel like it.  Waiting to feel worthy.  Waiting until you have more experience.

“Sometimes there is no next time, no second chance, or no time out.  Stop waiting.  It’s now or never.  When you wait, you aren’t procrastinating.  You are doing something more dangerous.  You are deliberately convincing yourself ‘now is not the time.’  You are actively working against your dreams.”

Mel’s book is filled with messages from people who have used the 5 Second Rule to overcome their Ego’s self-sabotaging fears and JUST DO IT.  And their results have been phenomenal.

Mel says, “The difference between people who make their dreams come true and those of us who don’t is just one thing: the courage to start and the discipline to keep going.  The Rule is a game-changer because it 5-4-3-2-1 forces you to get out of your head and start and it’ll 5-4-3-2-1 help you keep going…..When you 5-4-3-2-1 push yourself forward you’ll discover the magic in your life and open yourself up to the world, to opportunity, and to possibility.  You might not get the girl, the part, or the response you wanted but that’s not the point.  In the end, you’ll get something way cooler – you’ll discover the power inside of you.”

I invite you to watch (or re-watch) Mel Robbin’s 20 minute TEDx talk from several years ago.  Here’s the You Tube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc

And I very much encourage you to read The 5 Second Rule and USE what it teaches you. The life of your dreams is waiting for you — and the start of it is just FIVE SECONDS away!

If you would like your own F.R.E.E. subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.  Your information will never be shared with anyone.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

June 3, 2018

I hope you will forgive me for repeating another blog, but I have been happily overrun by so many last-minute registrations into the Summer Prosperity Camp II course that starts on Tuesday, I have had no time to create a new blog for this week.

I believe this lightly-edited blog that was first published in 2015 is on-point for the way many of my coaching clients seem to be feeling right now, and you just may be too, should you find yourself facing seemingly-daunting odds to reach a Big Goal.

Many of my clients are working hard to earn a higher Leadership title in their network marketing company by the end of July, in order to qualify them to go to their convention in September sporting a whole new level of achievement and acknowledgment. Yet, several have confessed to me that they find themselves already mentally giving up (two months early!) because their own Ego can’t see HOW they could possibly reach their Big Goal in that amount of time.

What I have told them, I tell you now: The only limit on your capacity for achieving dreams beyond what you now can imagine lies between your ears.  If you give up now, you are done.  If you just put one foot in front of the other, doing everything you know how to do each and every day with consistent energy and belief, you absolutely could amaze yourself and others, just like the tennis player in this story!

September 13, 2015

“Each of us every day has the opportunity to make a decision as to what energy, words, beliefs and actions we will release into the world. The power lies within.” – Paul Keenan

I am not a big sports buff.  Still, every once in a great while, a record-breaking opportunity comes along that makes even us couch potatoes pay attention.

I was glued to the TV set for American Pharaoh’s Triple Crown win because no horse had done it in 37 years.  And I have been avidly following Serena Williams’ quest to win the U.S. Open and achieve the first calendar-year Grand Slam in tennis since Steffi Graf did it in 1988.

Serena Williams has been as dominant in women’s tennis as Tiger Woods used to be in men’s golf.  A powerhouse, both physically and mentally, Serena routinely serves over 120 miles per hour and has a killer forehand AND backhand.  She is focused, driven and hard working.  That’s why everyone was rooting for her – even her opponents! Everyone in tennis felt she deserved this accolade, as the number one female player in the world.

Still, if it were a “done deal,” there would be no excitement to her quest. She blew past most of her opponents, including Venus Williams, who played hard, but was happy that her little sister ultimately prevailed.  Serena had just two opponents left to beat and this crowning achievement to her tennis career was hers.  And then it happened.

Out of nowhere, a “nobody” Italian tennis player stole the show.  Roberta Vinci is a good doubles player with a singles record this year of just 25-20.  She has 60 fewer career tour titles and lost all four of their previous matches to Serena. Roberta’s U.S. Open match on Friday was her first-ever semifinal in 44 tournaments and she was the oldest female first-timer there.  She, too, thought Serena deserved to win the Grand Slam.

Asked if she had awakened Friday, thinking she had a chance to beat Serena, Roberta said, “No.” After all, the odds makers had Serena favored 300-1. But what was just a routine match for Serena was Roberta’s Shining Moment in the sport she has dedicated her life to. Even if the odds were impossible, she was determined to give it her very BEST effort.

And she did.  She played smart and worked hard to chase down every ball. She threw Serena off her stride by hitting more softly and executing perfect half-volleys that only career doubles players can. She broke Serena’s powerhouse serve and held her own for a 4-2 lead in the second set.  By then, Serena’s body language seemed to lack the usual confidence.  Roberta could see that Serena was nervous, and admitted later that when she served her final game, her own hands were shaking. “I make sure to think about relaxing, staying focused,” she said, “and not thinking that it was Serena on the other side of the net.”

In the end, Roberta had to change her Saturday plane reservation back to Italy, because she beat Serena and will play her final match of the U.S. Open against another Italian, her childhood friend and frequent opponent, Flavia Pennetta.

After the match, Serena was understandably upset and disappointed and gave a short, rather pouty interview. Who could blame her?  She summed it up perfectly when she said Roberta had played “the best tennis of her career” and added, “I guess it’s inspiring.  But, yeah, I think she played literally out of her mind.”

We all watched the match because we thought we would see something historic – a once- in-a-generation achievement by an undeniable Super Star. What we saw instead was a much more inspiring achievement by someone who believed in herself enough to give it her ALL, even when the odds said it was hopeless.  She was willing to surprise herself and us.

We can ALL play out of our minds.  Each of us has the opportunity at least once in our lifetime to prove that we can dig down deep, give up worrying about what others think or do, and just give it our very BEST effort.

BELIEVE. COMMIT. ACT. That is the “magic formula” for success!

If you or your friends would like your own F*R*E*E* subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.

*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* hour of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com today.

March 25, 2018

“It’s not easy being grateful all of the time.  But it’s when you feel least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you.” – Oprah Winfrey

This is a lightly-edited blog that first ran in Spring 2016.  I hope its important message will resonate with my newer readers and remind my longtime readers of the transformative power of gratitude.

If you live east of the Mississippi, please forgive me for gloating, but spring has officially sprung here in Southern California.  The sky is blue, the sun is shining and both my back and front yards are awash in the vivid colors of roses, azaleas, camellias and many other beautiful flowering plants.  But the plants aren’t the only things blooming now.

On April 1 (no fooling), my phone blew up with text after text from my coaching clients who had achieved their Big Goals at the end of March.  Many of them are independent consultants in the same fast-growing network marketing company.  After several months of “planting seeds” of opportunity, one was excited to have sponsored two new business partners.  Another far surpassed her personal organization’s sales volume target. And several others reached “Level 5 Leader” status — the first major step toward building a large Team of successful business partners.  For one, March became the first of three consecutive months that she needs to maintain that status for her company to lease a brand new Lexus for her.

My clients didn’t achieve any of these milestones overnight or by themselves.  They had the support of their “upline” Leaders in the business AND the consultants they personally sponsored into the business. Everyone on their Teams pulled together to make it possible.  The achievement of one was the achievement of all.

Having coached them for the past several months, I knew their exciting and fulfilling accomplishments took dedication, belief and work, which reminded me of a recent daily message from mega church pastor Joel Osteen:

“If you want to see change, if you want to see God open up new doors, the key is to bloom right where you’re planted. You can’t wait until everything gets better before you decide to have a good attitude.  You have to be the best that you can be right where you are.  When you bloom where you’re planted, you’re allowing God to work in you, and He will be faithful to complete what He’s started in you!”

All of my clients came into coaching because they had Big Goals that didn’t seem to be moving forward very quickly.  Most of them were feeling stuck, stymied, even resentful about their inability to find partners to join them in the business who were equally driven to succeed.  Most of the Team members they had seemed content to just plod along, showing little ambition.

One of these clients achieved Level 5 Leader status last month, meaning she had sponsored eight serious business partners into the business and supported them in successfully selling the company’s high-end skin care products. When we began our coaching last year, she had just two partners on her Team.

Outwardly, she seemed positive and confident. But on our first coaching call, she confessed her true  feelings with surprising candor: “I am so annoyed with my Team.  Everything has rested on me.  I wish they would do more to help themselves succeed.  It’s invigorating to see my upline Leader’s Team rallying to help her win her Lexus.  I can’t see my own Team doing that for me. I don’t feel grateful for them. I want to learn to feel gratitude for my Team and for my life.”

During our first months together, I gave her a number of coaching tools to help her engage the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) to attract people who were as enthusiastic and hungry for success as she is. Imagine which tool was her favorite –the Daily Gratitude Journal! Every day, she faithfully wrote in it 10 things that she was grateful for in her life right NOW.

It didn’t take long before she declared, “I am really feeling GRATEFUL!  I am so grateful for the Team I have right now – each and every one of them, no matter how hard they are working or not working.”

That’s when things really began to shift for her. When she learned to bloom right where she was planted, her new, positive attitude attracted those who wanted to bloom alongside her. When she stopped wishing she were living in a different garden, the garden she found herself in began to bloom more beautifully than ever before.

What kind of garden do YOU find yourself planted in right now?  Imagine what your life would be like without all the wonderful things and people you probably take for granted each day.

  • Are you grateful for your job? Or do you wish you had a different boss or bigger paycheck?
  • Do you feel blessed to have your partner or spouse, or do you wish he or she were more loving?
  • Are you happy with your home or do you wish it were bigger or in a better neighborhood?
  • Do you appreciate your car that gets you where you need to go, or do you wish it were newer or flashier?
  • Are you proud of your children? Or do you wish they got better grades or helped with the chores more willingly?

As Joel says, if you want your opportunities to improve you have to be the best that YOU can be, right where you are. Start by expressing your sincere GRATITUDE for all that you have been blessed with now.  Be grateful that you have the unlimited opportunity to better yourself and your circumstances. And then strive to do your very BEST with the resources you have been given in the garden where you currently reside.

If you want more and better, believe that you have the power to attract the right people and resources to help you.  Give your BEST at the job you have each day.  Be as loving and thoughtful toward your loved ones, friends, colleagues and strangers as you would like them to be toward you.  Acknowledge the young people in your life every chance you get and watch them become their BEST selves.

It’s a beautiful garden you live in.  Keep planting more seeds of opportunity and watch them grow!

IMPORTANT NOTE: Just as I advise my clients to do, I have to know when to say “when.” I have an overflowing plate right now, with an abundance of wonderful new clients coming aboard, an active social life, and a very long list of detailed steps I must take ASAP to transition my and my husband’s businesses from  being “sole proprietors” to a corporation.  So, I am going to take a break from creating the blog for the next two Sundays.  Enjoy the rest of your Spring Vacation and look for your next Cup of Caroll on Sunday April 22!

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to give yourself, a friend, colleague or loved one a truly unique gift that can change your or their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching.  It is absolutely F*R*E*E* with no obligation and no strings attached!  You can give this to as many people who will really appreciate it as you wish

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you/them clarify Big Goals and get into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com  to schedule a coaching session.   

March 18, 2018

“Go beyond your own boundaries to your own possibilities.” – Louise Hay

Today’s blog is much shorter than usual.  It’s a simple, straightforward message that my clients need to hear, I need to hear, and I’m sure every one of my readers needs to hear at some point in their lives: Quit worrying about what OTHERS think of you and your Big Goals.

Only two opinions matter – Yours and God’s.  One of those beings created you and put those desires in your heart. (The word “desire” actually means “of the Father” in Latin).  The other one is YOU, the only being who has complete free will to pursue those desires or let them die.

If you want your desires to become your reality, your only option is to “Just Do It” with everything you’ve got.  You must shut out your well-meaning friends’ and family’s opinions about your Big Goals and how you should live YOUR life.  They don’t have to live with the consequences of you dying with your dreams unborn….YOU do. They don’t have to take the risks….YOU do.  They won’t reap the sweet rewards of your success…. YOU will!

Here’s a great perspective from my favorite tele-minister, Joel Osteen. The remarkable success of the mega church he and his wife Victoria lead in Houston has been the focus of some armchair critics who probably have never built anything in their lives.  Yet, thousands and thousands of people flock there every week and millions more watch on television to hear his messages of faith, hope and positivity, urging them to pursue their biggest dreams.

“Beyond Critical Voices

Anytime you set out to do something great in life, there will be critics.  If you’re going to be a great business person, coach, student, leader or employee, there will be opposition.  The more success you have, the more opportunities there will be for distractions. The higher you go, the more haters will come out.  When you start stretching to a new level and pursuing what God has placed in your heart, the jealous people, the critical people, and the small-minded people come out of the woodwork and start making negative comments but you don’t have to let that distract you.

If you are under pressure today, if the critical voices are coming against you, know that it’s because you are making a difference.  Don’t let them throw you off course.  Instead, dig your heels in, set your face like a flint and say, ‘I will not get distracted.  I will not get drawn into battles that don’t matter.  It doesn’t matter what others think; it matters what God thinks!’

Today, look beyond the critics.  Stand strong in adversity.  Press forward to what lies ahead and win the prize of life that He has prepared for you!”

Scale that wall…. Just. Do. It.

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to my website http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

March 11, 2018

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

The last blog, which was a reprint of one written by my awesome former personal trainer, Rose Zahnn, owner of a fitness studio in Sacramento, California (www.HealthyHabitsStudio.com), got a BIG thumbs up from my readers!

If you missed it, be sure to go to my website’s blog archives (Today is a Big Deal – Blog 296) because it delivers some sage advice about what it REALLY takes to reach any Big Goal.  Rose said, “At the end of the day, the sum of your [little moment-by-moment] choices pushes you in a direction” — either toward accomplishment or defeat.  Success is not a sprint; it’s a marathon. You have to pace yourself to keep moving in the direction of your dreams, one step at a time.

I can’t resist sharing with you one more follow-on blog by Rose that offers more helpful perspective on the topic of goal setting and fulfillment.  Of course, her particular focus is on health and fitness, but I’m sure you will recognize that these same principles apply to business, school, finances, relationships – any area of life, really.

“Have a goal? Here’s how to meet it.

By Rose Zahnn

Do you have a specific fitness goal you are hoping to achieve?  This goal could be a number on the scale or a clothing size.  Or maybe you are hoping to wear a certain cut or style of clothes like strappy tank tops, shorts or a bathing suit.

While having this goal is great, it will NOT guarantee success.

You knew that, though, because this isn’t the first time that you’ve had a fitness goal… a goal that you didn’t meet.  In fact, you probably know dozens of other people who also have struggled to meet their fitness goals.

Here’s the typical scenario: You get all pumped up to lose weight and get into shape by starting out completely gung-ho.  Your enthusiasm lasts about two weeks, before old habits and routine slide back into place, cutting your results off before reaching your goal.  Then your goal begins to fade from your mind and life goes on….

The problem was your initial focus on the result, rather than a sustained focus on the process.  Let’s break this down:

Fitness success is about focusing on your goals.  But even more important is focusing on the habits to make your healthier new lifestyle stick.

Of course, once you’ve gotten your fit lifestyle to stick, you’ll eventually meet your end goal.

The number that you’re hoping to magically weigh one day doesn’t matter one bit, and here’s why….

It’s about living in the Momentum.

Can you remember how it felt the last time that you ate super clean, exercised hard and got adequate sleep for a few consecutive days?  A feeling of momentum came over you, didn’t it?

There was a buzzing in your cells and a hop in your step.  You felt alive and empowered.  Never mind that you weren’t yet at your goal number; you were headed there!

Getting down to your goal weight and fitting into your size is the direct result of living in that state of momentum for an extended period of time.  You see, the momentum can be felt immediately, once you start eating clean, exercising hard and taking care of your health, whereas the “goal number” simply can’t be felt until it is achieved, and so it’s not as powerful a motivator.

My challenge and advice to you is to find the joy of living in the momentum, and keep that momentum going until your goal number is achieved.  Focus more on the momentum, less on the end goal.

Fitness is a way of life. Being lean is a lifestyle.  Neither of which can be had by going about it halfheartedly.

You have to create and re-create the momentum every day.”

If you don’t remember anything else from Rose’s wonderful column, I hope you will live by these powerful words, because they apply to EVERY Big Goal you have: “Find the joy of living in the momentum, and keep that momentum going until your goal is achieved.” 

Get into your groove.  Maintain a consistent pace …. one minute, one hour, one day at a time.  Don’t worry about how close or how far you are from your Big Goal at this moment.  Just keep living in the momentum and find joy in knowing you ARE on track to succeed — all you have to do is get up, suit up and “re-create the momentum every day”!

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to my website www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

February 25, 2018

“What we feel, think, and do this moment influences both our present and the future in ways we may never know.  Begin.  Start right where you are. Consider your possibilities and find inspiration…to add more meaning and zest to your life.” – Alexandra Stoddard

The following is a blog written by the wonderful personal trainer I used to go to who co-owns a popular fitness studio in Sacramento, CA. (www.HealthyHabitsStudio.com)

I believe that her wise words apply to ALL long-term goals — personal and business, as well as health and fitness.  All Big Goals require patient, committed one-day-at-a–time focus and one-step-at-a-time planning to reach.  If you take her advice to heart, and make it your own guiding philosophy, I believe you can and will achieve your BIGGEST personal, business and fitness goals this year.

Today is a big deal!

By Rose Zahnn

“You woke up this morning and began making choices.

You chose whether or not to exercise, to eat a healthy breakfast, or to do something productive. You chose whether or not to eat that donut, to sleep in, or to watch an extra hour of TV.

At the end of each day, the sum of your choices pushes you in a direction.

It could be pushing you in the direction of fitness and health, if your choices were predominantly healthy.

Or, the sum of your choices could be pushing you in the direction of weight gain, health issues and problems.

I find this perspective helpful when it comes to making a major body transformation. It’s tempting to feel overwhelmed about changing your body when you have many pounds to lose and much work to do, since you can’t do it all in one day.

However, by capturing the power of each day by making healthy choices, you will be pushed in the direction of weight loss and health day after day, week after week.

Until, one day, you’ll look in the mirror and see that you’ve arrived at your ultimate destination: a lean, healthy and fit you!

So, embrace the power of each choice that you make today, and allow a momentum of good choices to push you through to your goal.

Do This At Bedtime: The best way to ensure that you will make great choices tomorrow is to plan for it tonight. Before you go to sleep, jot out your plan for the next day.

Today is a big deal.

Today is all you have.

Make the most of today.”

IMPORTANT NOTE: The blog and I are taking next weekend off.  Look for your next Cup of Caroll on Sunday, March 11, which also happens to be the start of Daylight Savings Time for most of the USA.  Don’t forget to set your clocks ahead!

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

February 18, 2018

“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me.  The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.” – Viktor Frankl

It has been cleverly stated that “holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.”  Yet, from time to time, all of us have been hurt, annoyed or even angry with someone important in our lives.  It might be a boss, spouse, child, client, colleague or Team member.

Unpleasant and unfair circumstances and people are a part of life, no matter how hard you try to do your best and keep a positive outlook. But you can certainly mitigate the damage they do to you by controlling your own mindset and not allowing yourself to go negative in return.

It can feel temporarily satisfying to nurse your wounded feelings by harboring resentment and enumerating to others all the ways someone has treated you poorly.  But as tempting as it can be to play the martyr, your negative thoughts and words will not help heal the situation and will eventually come back to bite you.  The Law of Attraction (energy attracts like energy) will cause the wounded, angry, complaining energy that you are spreading around to attract MORE bad breaks and people to mistreat, disappoint and upset you.

One of my coaching clients recently found herself in the unhappy position of being relentlessly hounded by a parent of one of her special-needs students.

The mother felt my client hadn’t been giving her son enough attention, support and help, even though my client said the child was one of the most difficult in her classroom, a handful in every way.  No matter how hard she tried to patiently help him, the boy’s mother seemed to blame all his learning and behavior problems on her. My client had to sit through several uncomfortable meetings, feeling “attacked” by the parent, while her principal didn’t support her strongly enough.

We talked about how the mother’s combative approach to helping her son was beginning to take a toll on my client’s energy and enthusiasm for her teaching, as well as for her own family and her network marketing business.  By allowing the negative attitude of one person to affect her, she was actually punishing herself and her loved ones in many ways.

I reminded her that I had given her some powerful mindset tools she could use to take back her power and she vowed to work on maintaining a positive outlook.  One of those tools, which I have found to be very helpful in shifting one’s mindset quickly, is gratitude.

Acknowledging and expressing appreciation for the positive aspects of a person or a situation you are having problems with can calm you down, put things in perspective and help you to re-focus on what you WANT, instead of what you don’t want. Rather than complain about the mother and the principal, I encouraged my client to feel GRATEFUL for her job and her students and to focus all her energy on creating the best possible outcome for everyone involved. After all, she and the mother were actually on the same side – both wanting only what is BEST for the student.

A few days later, my client emailed me that she had spoken to a colleague about how parents had been treating her this year and the other teacher suggested making a bigger effort to reach out to them about positive and neutral things, “so that they don’t only hear from me when something is wrong.” She followed through on that good advice by emailing the parents some neutral class updates and the next day, she said her students “all did amazingly on their Science quiz (a class all but one failed first semester.) So I texted their parents the good news and I got a great response from the mom who’s been awful to me all year.” 

The mother responded that her son had voluntarily done his homework early, which was unheard of, giving her time to review it with him and help him better prepare for the test.  As a result, he got an exceptionally good grade and both mother and son were thrilled.

The next time you find yourself seething over what someone has done (or failed to do) and want to change your mindset so that YOU can be happy and successful, instead of attracting MORE strife to yourself, here’s a tried and true little exercise that is guaranteed to shift your energy toward the positive.  In my more than 13 years as a Personal Success Coach, I have never seen it fail:

Sit down with a blank sheet of lined paper and list 25 things you appreciate or are grateful for about the person who is causing you grief.  You aren’t allowed to get up until you have listed at least 25 positive things about the person, no matter how long it takes.

Many of the unhappy clients I have had do this began by saying, “I can’t think of 25 good things about him!”  Yet, soon I invariably receive a message from them stating that, “By the time I did 25, I was so in love with my husband again, I didn’t want to stop …. I wrote 50!”

Whatever we focus on and send our energy to will grow stronger.  If you focus on someone’s bad behavior or shortcomings, those negative traits are only going to get stronger.  But when you focus on what you love, appreciate and are grateful for, that energy will draw out more of their best – and more of yours, too.

So the next time you are annoyed or upset, just sit down and make a 25 Gratitudes List about the person or situation.  I promise that you will go from grumbling to grateful in no time!

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*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.