February 5, 2023

“It’s not enough to have lived.  We should be determined to live for something.  May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of person-kind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.” – Leo Buscaglia

In the last blog (The Secret to Solving Problems – Blog 459), we looked at the principle that helping someone else get what they want or need can attract to us the very answers we need to solve our own problems. This makes sense from both a Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) and spiritual point of view.  As pastor Joel Osteen promises, “While you are working their situation, God is working on your situation.” 

I just finished reading a fabulous book by Brad Aronson called Humankind: Changing the World One Small Act at a Time.  He was moved to write this book because of the many types of kindness shown to him and his family when his wife Mia was battling leukemia for several years. He thought about all the different types of helpfulness, compassion and kindness others showed to his family, and synthesized them into a specific focus in each chapter on different facets of what it means to be kind and contribute to someone else. 

Along with each principle of kindness and contribution, the book details many incredibly inspiring true stories that illustrate how sharing our time, talents and treasures with others can make a huge difference to one or many people – sometimes, even to the whole world. 

Chapters include the power of your words to change another person’s life by making it easier for others to accept help, being good company for someone when they need it, acknowledging and celebrating someone’s special occasion, etc.  At the end of each chapter, he offers a “What We Can Do” list of specific suggestions for putting that particular type of kindness into action in small, manageable ways. 

One of my favorite chapters is Chapter 8, titled “A New Lens on Life,” about how to change your own perspective about problems and help someone else change theirs. At the end, Brad reminds us that it is possible to “train your brain for positivity” by putting in place a few simple daily practices.  I quote his suggestions here verbatim from this chapter of Humankind:

  • “Add yet to your vocabulary. Instead of “I haven’t found a new job,’ say, ‘I haven’t found a new job yet.’ The difference is subtle but your brain notices.
  • “Change ‘I have to’ to ‘I get to’. My wife and I used to think some chores were a pain. We’d often say, ‘I have to do the laundry,’ or ‘I have to make lunches,’ or ‘I have to take out the trash.’ When Mia had chemo, she could no longer do those chores as regularly, being in the hospital or too weak much of the time. As she recovered, she regained her strength and she was ecstatic. ‘I’m so happy,’ she said. ‘I get to make lunch, I get to cook dinner and I get to do the laundry.’
  • “See the positive. Studies show that when we see the positive more often, we’re happier and we’re kinder to ourselves and those around us. We’re also much more likely to see opportunities and solve problems creatively. Researchers have found, for example, that physicians, students, salespeople and toddlers perform better when they’re more positive.”

Brad then lists four specific daily actions we can take to train our brains to think more positively and therefore help ourselves and others to be happier, more productive and better at overcoming problems.  Even if you just adopt ONE as a daily practice, I can guarantee it will have a big impact on your happiness and the many forms of GOOD that you will begin to attract into your world.

“Luckily for us,” says Brad, “we’re not locked into a way of viewing the world.  We can choose to see things more positively.  Here are some steps you can take to, among other things, teach yourself to look for the positive more often.  Eventually, your brain gets into the habit of doing this and you won’t need any prodding – you’ll just do it naturally:

  • “Compliment at least one person every day. Maybe you begin the day by sending a short email or text telling someone why you appreciate them. ‘Just wanted to thank you for being a great friend.’ Or ‘I appreciated your call yesterday. Thanks for being so thoughtful.’ Besides reshaping how you see the world, you might make someone’s day.
  • “Keep a gratitude journal. Every night, write three things you’re grateful for. (By the way, researchers have also found that people who regularly write down what they’re grateful for are 25 percent happier.) You can also have a nightly family discussion about what happened that day that you’re thankful for.
  • “Perform a daily act of kindness. When you perform a kind act every day, you’ll start noticing other opportunities to be kind, creating a cycle of positivity in your mind. Think small – a thank-you note or letting someone cut in front of you in traffic. (Yet another way to make yourself and someone else happier.)
  • “Be mindful of who and what you expose yourself to. Who you spend your time with and what you watch, listen to and read all send messages to your brain that influence how you see the world.”

He concludes this chapter, “Training your brain for positivity takes time, but it’s a priceless opportunity to change your perspective and become a happier person.  Before long, you’ll see half-full glasses everywhere you look.”

The way Brad Aronson sums up the point of Humankind in his “Closing Notes” reminds us of Joel Osteen’s promise that when we are busy helping another, God is busy helping us:

“We don’t perform kind acts to be rewarded for them or to increase our life span – those are just possible side effects. We perform them because it’s what we’re here for. We were given the capacity for love for a reason, and the fact that loving acts tend to come full circle…seems to be confirmation that they’re the right path. Loving acts help others through difficult times – can you think of anything that has greater value?  Can you think of a better use of our time and talents?

“Our acts of kindness, no matter how insignificant we think they are, can be life-changing for someone else.  During Mia’s treatment, every person who gave us the strength to push forward contributed to our entire family’s making it through the experience unscathed.”

I hope you will read or listen to this wonderful book.  I promise it will lift your spirits and maybe even restore your faith in personkind, as it has for me.  And if you choose to follow some of its simple suggestions, I guarantee you will experience more happiness, fulfillment and abundance for yourself by making a little time to be helpful and kind to someone else.

Coaching Results

“Our coaching has made me change the way I am thinking about my work, my abilities in my work, and these carry over into personal areas of my life, too.  I am now more positive in my thinking about my work goals, personal relationships and my behaviors in both.” – L.H., yoga studio owner

********** MAKE THIS YOUR TIME TO SHINE ***************

Is it time for you to give yourself the priceless gift a positive mindset tune-up?  I invite you to take advantage of a truly unique opportunity – a F.R.E.E. hour of Success Breakthrough Coaching with no strings attached.  This is my kindness contribution to YOU! I promise to help you gain clarity on your Big Goals for 2023 and exactly what it will take for you to reach them. Slots are very limited, so contact me ASAP to schedule your F.R.E.E., no obligation phone coaching session: caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com

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