A Cup of Caroll

Remember that a wish held fervently turns into belief, and a belief held diligently becomes reality. – Jim Stovall

Part II: Internal Obstacles to Reaching Your Big Dream

Please accept my sincere apology for not writing a blog last weekend. I was studying for my third real estate course final, which I passed!  This was my first big milestone on the way to reaching my Big Dream. Now, I am ready to apply to take the California State exam to become a part-time Realtor® in order to help create the financially-secure retirement we have always dreamed of. 

Here’s a recap of the step-by-step process for making any Big Dream a reality so far:

• Step One: Identify a Big Dream – something you want to be, do or have.
• Step Two: Turn that dream into an Intention statement that is short, clear, specific, memorable and has a target date attached to it.
• Step Three: Take ACTION on your Intention and trust the Universe to reveal the HOW for manifesting it.
• Step Four: Create a Manifestation Plan and begin with the steps you can do NOW. 
• Step Five: Carefully consider the “What Ifs” that might arise.
• Step Six: Use ACTION to overcome your Ego’s natural resistance to change.

Now, we’ll finish our Manifesting Dreams 101 exploration with Step Seven: Believe you can reach your Dream!

As you know, my Big Retirement Dream is: “On or before Fall 2019, Rick and I travel North America in our deluxe trailer home with complete financial comfort and peace of mind.”

And I told you that the HOW for fulfilling my Intention came to me in a light bulb moment that I could help my husband double his income by getting a real estate license myself and working with him just a couple of extra days a week, marketing him and enabling him to serve more clients in our current HOT real estate market.

I shared the Manifestation Plan outlining all the individual Action Steps we must take between now and the Fall of 2019 in order to make this dream a reality, beginning with  getting my real estate license before the end of the year. Yet, even with a great plan, there are going to be obstacles to face in pursuing ANY Dream.

Let’s look at the second of the two major INTERNAL obstacles that can sabotage your Big Dreams: Limiting Beliefs. What do you do when the obstacles are in your own head?

In his great book Do the Work, you will recall that Steven Pressfield says the first Internal Obstacle, Resistance, is “impersonal,” meaning it’s a stumbling block for EVERYONE on the planet who’s trying to pursue a Dream. Our Limiting Beliefs, on the other hand, seem to be unique to each of us.

That’s not to say that there aren’t some popular Limiting Beliefs that many people seem to share. A few of the most common Limiting Beliefs that I have been able to help my coaching clients overcome include:

• I don’t deserve to have what I want.
• When they get to know me, they’ll see I’m a fraud.
• People don’t take me seriously.
• I’m not smart enough.
• No matter how hard I try, it’s never good enough.
• If I have money, I will become selfish.

If any of these beliefs sounds familiar, you can see that you are not alone! But because these beliefs arise out of our individual life experiences, we tend to believe that everyone else is pursuing their dreams with ease, while we alone must struggle with our doubts, fears and self-sabotaging patterns.

Where do these Limiting Beliefs come from in the first place? Each of us believes that our deepest-held convictions are the “truth.” We truly believe that life is that way or we are like that, and there’s nothing we can do about it.  In fact, ALL beliefs are not the truth, but simply our interpretation of the truth – according to our own life experiences or the testimony of others.

The toughest Limiting Beliefs to dislodge are created when we’re young children, trying to make sense of the adult world from our very limited life experience.  Usually, we observe, overhear or are told something by a parent, teacher or other authority figure and we instantly, unconsciously adopt it as a “fact.” Maybe your father called you “stupid” once when he was angry, or your mother called your enterprising attempt to sell lemonade from a stand in front of your house “an embarrassment to the family.”

My own deepest Limiting Beliefs have always been about money, which I’m sure is what led me to create Practical Prosperity Coaching ™ to help others overcome their perceived limitations so they can create more abundance in their life, too.

A few years ago, I got a major insight into one of my Core Limiting Beliefs about money. I remembered that when I was in grade school, my father, whom I adored and emulated, quit being a professor of English literature at the University of California to teach at a community college, helping adults improve their reading and language skills.  I could see that he was much happier helping people who really needed it, rather than pursuing the more highly-paid, prestigious career of a University Professor.  So I must have made up the Limiting Belief that people can be EITHER rich OR happy in their career, but not both.

Guess what that led to?  Yep, I created a number of careers that I loved but had to quit because I couldn’t make a living.  Occasionally, I’d swing the other way with a job that brought me lots of money. Eventually, I’d quit those, too, because they weren’t a good fit for my purpose and I ended up hating them. Self-fulfilling prophesy, anyone?

But there’s GOOD NEWS! Since we create our own beliefs, we have the power to change them! As soon as you recognize that you are acting according to a belief that is LIMITING you in pursuing your goals, you can choose to release it and replace it with a new Empowering Belief.  I am happy to share one simple process that works well for most of my clients. Just contact me by phone or email and ask for the Change Beliefs Exercise and I will send it to you.

So what Limiting Beliefs do Rick and I have to overcome in order to have our Big Retirement Dream become a reality?  I’m sure others will pop up during the journey to fulfillment, but right now, MY only Limiting Belief is that my coaching and personal schedule won’t allow me enough time to properly prepare and pass the State Exam in the next two months.  The new, Empowering Belief I created to replace my Limiting Belief that “I don’t have enough time to do it ALL” is: “I am the Master of my time and I will follow the right priorities to reach my goals.”

Last weekend, I lived from my new Empowering Belief by choosing to forgo my commitment to write A Cup of Caroll in favor of my higher personal priority of successfully completing my last Real Estate final.  It worked!  Instead of feeling guilty, or working myself into a frazzle by trying to do too much, I calmly paced myself, reviewing the coursework throughout the weekend and then taking the three-hour online test with a sense of peace and calm confidence on Monday.

Oh, yeah, and Rick’s got his own great Limiting Belief about our Big Retirement Dream: He isn’t sure he can live in the “small space” of a trailer! Well, that could be a deal-breaker, so naturally, I have a STRATEGY to test whether this Limiting Belief is really true or not. First, we’ll do some shopping to see what modern travel trailers are REALLY like. The last time either of us traveled in one in our youth, they were little dinky things without the deluxe amenities that are available nowadays. Once we find a model we like, we’ll try it out as a vacation rental for a week or two, after we buy our new SUV to pull it and see if it REALLY feels claustrophobic.

I’m sure that visualizing that fun experiment to come will keep me motivated during the weeks of study ahead to reach the next milestone along the way to our Big Retirement Dream: Getting my California Real Estate license.  Stay tuned!

******** What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your big dreams and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: http://practicalprosperitycoach.com or contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation! *************

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines. Sale away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. – Mark Twain

Part II: Internal Obstacles to Reaching Your Big Dream

Here’s where we are in our discussion of the step-by-step process for making any Big Dream a reality:

• Step One: Identify a Big Dream – something you want to be, do or have.
• Step Two: Turn that dream into an Intention statement that is short, clear, specific, memorable and has a target date attached to it.
• Step Three: Take ACTION on your Intention and trust the Universe to reveal the HOW for manifesting it.
• Step Four: Create a Manifestation Plan and begin with the steps you can do NOW. 
• Step Five: Carefully consider the “What Ifs” that might arise. 

In the last few blogs, I shared my own Big Retirement Dream that I have turned into a specific Intention with a deadline: “On or before Fall 2019, Rick and I travel North America in our deluxe trailer home with complete financial comfort and peace of mind.”

And I told you that the HOW for fulfilling my Intention came to me in a light bulb moment that I could help my husband double his income by getting a real estate license myself and working with him just a couple of extra days a week, marketing him and enabling him to serve more clients.

By taking advantage of the newly-hot real estate market and saving and investing aggressively for the next six years, we CAN create the adventurous, travel-filled retirement that we always dreamed of but thought was gone since the Great Recession took all our savings. I could even continue to do the coaching that I love on the road, thanks to our brave new Wi-Fi world!

I shared the Manifestation Plan outlining all the individual Action Steps we must take between now and the Fall of 2019 in order to make this dream a reality.  The first crucial Step is for me to get a California Real Estate license by plunging into the course work and then taking the state licensing exam before the end of the year.

That’s a solid plan. Nevertheless, there are always going to be obstacles to face in pursuing ANY Dream. Last blog, we looked at how to deal with EXTERNAL obstacles that stand in our way.  Now, we are going to explore the first of two INTERNAL obstacles, which in my nine years as a professional coach, I have come to believe are even tougher to overcome: Resistance.

One of my two favorite books on the topic of overcoming internal resistance is Stop SayingYou’re Fine by coach Mel Robbins.  I already wrote a series of blogs about this book, so I won’t go into much detail here. (See www.practicalprosperitycoach.com — Blogs # 112 – 117.)

Mel sums up human beings’ internal approach to ALL change this way: “You were born with resistance.  It’s an inner, evolutionary bias to take the safe bet, the sure thing, the known path….Resistance loves surfing the Web, vegging out in front of the TV, sticking to routine, not picking up the phone, hitting snooze, avoiding confrontation, making excuses, rumination, and isolation.”

Mel’s #1 strategy for overcoming your Ego’s resistance to ALL change in your life is her “Five Second Rule,” which states that whatever ACTION you have identified that will move you closer to fulfilling your Dream must be taken within FIVE SECONDS, or your Ego will talk you out of it.  To watch a very entertaining short presentation of The Five Second Rule by Mel Robbins at a TED conference in San Francisco, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc&sns=fb&fb_source=message

The second wonderful guide to overcoming our self-sabotaging habits is Do The Work! by Steven Pressfield, a former ad-man turned best-selling novelist. In his unique pull-no-punches style, Pressfield tells it like it is about the resistance we face whenever we begin to pursue something that really matters to us.

First, Pressfield succinctly outlines the characteristics of Resistance in these excerpts:

• “Resistance is Invisible (but it can be felt). Resistance is a repelling force.  It’s negative.  Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.
• Resistance is Insidious. Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work.  It will perjure, fabricate, falsify; seduce, bully, cajole….It will take any form, if that’s what it takes to deceive you.
• Resistance is Impersonal. Resistance is not out to get you personally. It doesn’t know who you are and it doesn’t care.  Resistance is a force of nature. It acts objectively.
• Resistance is Infallible.  Like a magnetized needle floating on a surface of oil, Resistance will unfailingly point to true North – meaning that calling or action it most wants to stop us from doing.  We can use it as a compass.
• Resistance is Universal.  We’re wrong if we think we’re the only ones struggling with Resistance. Everyone who has a body experiences Resistance.
• Resistance Never Sleeps.  Henry Fonda was still throwing up before each stage performance, even when he was seventy-five.  In other words, fear doesn’t go away.
• Resistance Plays for Keeps. Resistance’s goal is not to wound or disable. Resistance aims to kill.  Its target is the epicenter of our being: our genius, our soul, the unique and priceless gift we were put on this earth to give and that no one else has but us.  Resistance means business.  When we fight it, we are in a war to the death.”

Then he identifies the “Allies” that can help us overcome the Resistance that can steal our Dreams:

1. “Stay Stupid. Don’t think. Act.  We can always revise and revisit once we’ve acted.  But we can accomplish nothing until we act.
2. Be Stubborn. Once we commit to action, the worst thing we can do is stop.  What will keep us from stopping? Plain old stubbornness.
3. Blind Faith. Our mightiest ally…is belief in something we cannot see, hear, touch, taste or feel.
4. Passion.  Fear saps passion.  When we conquer our fears, we discover a boundless, bottomless, inexhaustible well of passion.
5. Assistance….Resistance is the shadow. Its opposite – Assistance –is the sun.
6. Friends and Family. Only two things will remain with us across the river: our inhering genius and the hearts we love.  In other words, what we do and whom we do it for.”

I highly recommend you check out this and the rest of Steven Pressfield’s books at: http://www.stevenpressfield.com/books

Did I experience doubt and fear when I got the idea of learning a whole new field and working TWO jobs for the next six years in order to have the rest of my life be what I want it to be?  Heck, YEAH!!!

But thanks to these two great books, I immediately recognized it was simply Resistance — my natural internal pull to “stay safe” and do only what I already know how to do.  So, I didn’t waste time listening to my Ego’s very “rational” arguments that I am too old, too impatient, hate paperwork, will get SO tired of working weekends, yada yada, yada.  Instead, I used Pressfield’ Ally #5 and called my friend Amber, Rick’s Broker at Authority Real Estate, and asked her to tell me everything I needed to do to get my Real Estate license.  She did and then emailed me the registration form to get a $50 discount off the tuition for three online courses required to prepare for the state licensing exam.  Talk about ASSISTANCE!

With one call, I discovered it was simpler, faster and cheaper to get a California Real Estate License and begin pursuing my Big, Juicy retirement Dream than my Ego wanted me to know. Armed with facts instead of fear, I simply put down the remote and began studying Real Estate. I take my last course final is this weekend. Wish me luck!

Join me next time as we examine the final Internal obstacle that can derail your dreams: Limiting Beliefs.

******** What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your big dreams and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: http://practicalprosperitycoach.com or contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation! *************

The person who gets the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.  The sure-thing boat never gets far from the shore. – Dale Carnegie

Part I: External Obstacles to Reaching Your Big Dream

Here’s where we are in our discussion of the step-by-step process for making any Big Dream a reality:

• Step One: Identify a Big Dream – something you want to be, do or have.
• Step Two: Turn that dream into an Intention statement that is short, clear, specific, memorable and has a target date attached to it.
• Step Three: Take ACTION on your Intention and trust the Universe to reveal the HOW for manifesting it.
• Step Four: Create a Manifestation Plan and begin with the steps you can do NOW. 

In the last few blogs, I shared my own retirement Dream that I have turned into a specific Intention with a deadline: “On or before Fall 2019, Rick and I travel North America in our deluxe trailer home with complete financial comfort and peace of mind.”

And I told you that the HOW for fulfilling my Intention came to me unexpectedly when I was musing on how I wished my husband Rick could be cloned so he could make twice as much money in this newly HOT real estate market, to finish digging us out of the huge financial hole we lived in for five years, after the Real Estate “bubble” burst.  His business has been good, but it could be GREAT if he had more time to market himself and to work with more clients simultaneously.

That’s when the HOW came to me: I could become Rick’s “clone” by getting a real estate license and working together as his part-time Teammate to market him and do some of the time-consuming paperwork and leg work that has to be done.

Suddenly, it was all green lights!  I did the math and discovered that it IS possible to create the wonderful, adventurous travel-filled retirement that we have dreamed of by making hay now and saving and investing aggressively for the next six years until I am ready to draw my own Social Security.  I ALWAYS want to keep on coaching, so I will only do real estate two or three days a week, until we are ready to begin traveling North America in our SUV and deluxe trailer.  With modern technology, I can keep on coaching on the road with just a smart phone and a computer.

Last blog, I shared the Manifestation Plan outlining all the individual Action Steps we must take between now and the Fall of 2019 in order to make this dream a reality.  The first crucial Step is to get a California Real Estate license, and I plunged right into the course work. I will be through the course work this month and then will take the state licensing exam before the end of the year.

That’s a solid plan. Yet, I know from nine years of coaching that NO Dream manifestation ever goes perfectly according to our plans. There are inevitably going to be obstacles along the way, and if you are not prepared for them, they can turn your Big, Juicy Dream into a Might-Have-Been regret.  I don’t want that to happen to MY Dream or YOURS. So, Step Five is: Carefully consider the “What Ifs” that might arise.

There are two very different classes of “obstacles” – Internal and External.  We’ll save the Internal Obstacles (often called “self-sabotage) for the next blog.  For now, let’s look at the very real External Obstacles that stand between you and your dream and what you can do to overcome them.

My favorite book on the subject is Above All Else, an inspiring true story subtitled “A World Champion Skydiver’s Story of Survival and What it Taught Him About Fear, Adversity and Success.” The author, Dan Brodsky-Chenfeld, shares the jaw-dropping details of how he survived a plane crash that occurred during a team skydiving practice that killed 16 of the 22 people on board and left him critically injured and in a six-week coma.

As his body healed from life-threatening injuries, Dan re-committed to his Big Dream of winning the World Skydiving Team Championship.  He went on to re-establish himself with a new team and win the World Championship several times.  He is now a world-class skydiving coach and the co-owner of one of the largest skydiving centers in the world.

In the second half of his book, Dan lays out a step-by-step approach to applying his strategies for overcoming incredible odds to reach ANY Big Dream that you are going after.

Step One, he says, is to ask yourself these three questions:

• Do the circumstances exist that make it even remotely possible to succeed?
• Do you want it badly enough?
• Do you realize what it is going to take to succeed and are you willing to do it?

I carefully thought about these three questions about my own Intention and the answers are YES, YES and YES!  I may not know ALL that it will take to eventually reach my Dream, but I do have a realistic picture of what it takes to succeed at the first, lynchpin step of becoming a successful Realtor because I have coached dozens of successful Realtors over the years and I have lived with one for seven years now.  I know there will be plenty of challenges and frustrations along the way. But ultimately, I know that I have the skills and determination to do it, if I want to.

Next, Dan says to brainstorm the OBSTACLES you will or may face:

First, the EXPECTED obstacles. If you wanted to switch or add a new career, this could mean researching the industry you might want to work in. Then assess whether your current skills are adequate for the industry you want to move into and if not, determine what specialized training you will need, research where to get it, work out the financing, etc.  I did all those things when I talked to Rick’s broker and found out exactly what I would have to do and pay to get my license, and then signed up and began working my way chapter-by-chapter through the three RE training courses that will help me to be a useful part of Rick’s “team.”

Next, look at the “WHAT IFs”?  For UNEXPECTED obstacles, it’s not possible to plan for them.  In Real Estate, the only major obstacle to success I can imagine is if some unforeseen catastrophe caused the market to take a prolonged nose-dive again.  That’s not something anyone can plan for. Except during the Great Depression and the Great Recession, real estate “cycles” are typically seven years going UP and then seven years going DOWN.  I know that the current “up” cycle began in 2012, and so the odds are that it will still be in a positive mode for at least the next five years.  That is plenty of time for our aggressive savings and investment plan to get us to the financial level needed to carry out our retirement Travel Plan.

Finally, Dan says, you must tell yourself the truth about these three questions:

• How ready am I to take on the challenge of this goal?
• When I come across something I wasn’t expecting, am I prepared to ask, “Is it still possible to succeed?” 
• Am I really sure I want it BADLY enough to do whatever it’s going to take? 

If the answers to these three questions are “YES” (and they are for me), then you are ready to launch yourself into pursuing your goal with the best possible start.  Your Manifestation Plan alone is not a guarantee of success, but it will help you get the start and build the momentum you need for the Law of Attraction to send you serendipitous help each step of the way on your path to living your Big Dream.

I highly recommend you check out Dan Brodsky-Chenfeld’s book and website: http://danbrodsky-chenfeld.com

Next time, we will look at two Internal obstacles that can also derail your Big Dream: Resistance and Limiting Beliefs.

******** What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your big dreams and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: http://practicalprosperitycoach.com or contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation! *************