A Cup of Caroll

October 24, 2021

“Every time God asks you to do something hard, it’s a sign there is something BIG in your future.” – Joel Osteen

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier…Not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know I am not the only one who prefers to do only the things I feel confident that I have the skills to succeed at.  From time to time, we all like to take on a “challenge,” but when it’s something new that is completely out of our wheelhouse, it can be downright scary.  Our Egos would much rather avoid the possibility of failing by keeping us safely in our comfort zone. 

But there’s no avoiding some “hard” challenges that life presents, often when you least expect them. Then you have a mindset choice to make: You can choose to believe that you have been well-equipped by your Creator with the innate smarts and ingenuity to conquer the challenge….OR you can let your Ego’s fear of failure make you look for a way out of doing it. 

It is my belief and personal experience that if you have been presented with a “hard” assignment, it’s not an accident. The purpose is to make you grow in strength and self-confidence and faith that you can always count on help and guidance from your Higher Power. It is part of your destiny, ultimately leading to something BIG and positive for you.

It can still be a bit daunting, and your confidence will probably waver sometimes, but if you maintain a mindset of expecting the BEST to come out of every challenge, you will be amazed at what treasures life will deliver for you.

I have written several blogs about the biggest personal challenge I have faced in many years: having to find a new place to live over the summer.  I certainly wanted to wish it away, hoping that some miracle would remove the challenge: Maybe our landlord would change his mind about selling the house or maybe the new owner would want to keep it as an investment property and let us continue to rent.  I didn’t see how God/The Universe could possibly be creating anything GOOD for us out of the huge disruption it was causing in our lives.

Fortunately, with 16-plus years of Law of Attraction coaching experience under my belt, I was able to quickly coach myself out of dwelling on that useless avoidance fantasy and instead focus solely on strengthening my belief and trust that the move would ultimately lead us to something EVEN better than the home of nine years that had seemed so perfect for us.  Even though I couldn’t imagine what could be “even better” in our price range in this tight rental market, I kept repeating the Joel Osteen quote that says if God was asking us to do something HARD, it was a sure sign that something BIG was in our future.  MY only job was to BELIEVE I could do it with Divine direction and some human help.

As soon as I shifted into “CAN DO” mode, we were guided quickly and easily to a new home that was, indeed, EVEN better in many ways.  We love our new detached three-bedroom condo in a beautiful and friendly guard-gated community. I was concerned with how our two rescue pups would adapt to a new home, but they immediately settled right in.

I have always declared to anyone who would listen that “I hate moving more than anything,” so no surprise that this particular life challenge appeared to be HARD. But with a new “I can figure this out” mindset, I calmly jumped over each and every hurdle in my way. I secured all the packing boxes we needed from neighbors for free, my wonderful husband Rick found us the greatest movers ever, our friends insisted on helping us pack up nine years’ worth of stuff, and by heeding my BFF’s wise advice to be “ruthless” in tossing, selling and giving away things we didn’t really need, belongings that once filled our old two-car garage now easily fit into our new one-car garage, with plenty of room to spare!

What’s my newest “hard” challenge?  If you are not an “OK, Boomer” like me, you will probably laugh.  It’s conquering social media — something pre-teens do with ease.  I have been a reluctant and infrequent user of Facebook for years.  But lately, I realize that if I want to teach more people how to use the power of the Law of Attraction to help them reach their Big Goals with greater speed and ease, I need to be more visible.

So, I engaged Blake Jones, a masterful social media marketing coach recommended by one of my coaching clients. Not only is he teaching me the ropes, but he has become a dear friend, as well.  Blake is challenging me to master new platforms like Instagram and Tik Tok with all the artsy digital bells and whistles so I can reach a bigger audience in more engaging ways. 

Learning to master unfamiliar digital tools is somewhat uncomfortable, just as it was for me to master Zoom in 2017 and email way before that. And I am sure I will make some amusing gaffs along the way, but that will just give me more “If I can do it, you can do it” stories of overcoming self-imposed limitations to inspire my clients and readers in the future.

It may be HARD, but this new arena is something I now embrace because I know that God has a BIGGER audience waiting for me and has given me a BIGGER message to deliver.  I cannot wait to see how it all unfolds.

PLEASE NOTE: The blog will be taking Halloween off. Happy Halloween!  Look for your next fresh Cup on November 7.

COACHING SUCCESS

“Coaching with Caroll helps me to define the core limiting belief that holds me back from reaching my Big Goal and gives me the tools to overcome it.  She has an arsenal of tools, so if one doesn’t work, she will keep trying until she finds one that does.” – Catherine B., direct sales leader

How are you doing on manifesting YOUR Big Goals?  Are you going slower than you would like and unsure of just what is holding you back from the success you deserve? For expert help clarifying your personal and professional goals and some actionable advice for reaching them with speed and ease, please request a F*R*E*E*, no-obligation hour of Success Breakthrough Coaching!  Slots are limited, so please grab one while they last: www.calendly.com/carollschwartz/60min  Or contact me with any questions: caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com

If you would like your own F*R*E*E* subscription to this blog, just go to https://practicalprosperitycoach.com and sign up at the top with your name and email.

October 17, 2021

Several of my clients are currently dealing with difficult, even “toxic,” people in their lives. They are close relationships, so simply avoiding them is not an option. It’s a challenge we all must face at some point, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to share a lightly-edited blog from almost exactly two years ago. If you follow their examples of mindset mastery, I promise you will produce similar “miracles” of your own!

October 5, 2019

“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” – Dale Carnegie

At some time, we all must deal with people whose energy is negative, uncaring or even purposely hurtful.  If we allow it, their negative thoughts and actions can throw us off course in pursuing our Big Goals by making us doubt our own positive expectations, values and beliefs.

A guiding principle I try to live by is that when you maintain a positive energy and do the right thing, the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) will work on your behalf to produce positive outcomes for you and everyone involved, no matter how difficult a situation may appear to be.  Even people who seem permanently locked into negative patterns can change their thoughts and behavior when you choose to change YOUR thinking and expectations about them.

This past week, two coaching clients shared their personal examples of this phenomenon, which I would like to pass along to you, in hopes their experiences will inspire you to use YOUR Mindset Superpower too.

The first client had an ailing mother who has required a lot of care from my client and her siblings.  The sister who lives furthest away has not helped share the burden of Mom’s care, either physically, emotionally or financially, and my client was feeling resigned and resentful that there was nothing she could do about it.

But when she decided to work on her OWN attitude toward her sister, things “miraculously” changed.  My client consciously focused on holding only positive thoughts about her sister and expressing gratitude towards her, wishing her only the BEST.  Soon, the sister surprised the family with a visit and spent a lot of time with her mother, which delighted Mom. She also pitched in with Mom’s care, so her siblings could take a much-needed break.

What surprised my client most was that there was only positive energy amongst the siblings while they were under the same roof.  “They usually butt heads, but there was no conflict, only harmony, while she was here.  I was amazed,” said my client. “I put on a positive mindset and it made a difference.” 

The second client posted a picture on social media of herself with friends at a joyful gathering, which garnered many positive comments. But she was blindsided by a harshly critical message from her own mother about her choice of wardrobe.  This was typical of how her mother has criticized her since childhood about any detail of her life that wasn’t in complete alignment with her mother’s rigid opinions of “right” and “wrong.”

My client took some time to think before she replied.  She held back on her Ego’s first inclination to lash out after feeling attacked.  Instead of choosing to feel hurt, offended and  defensive, she worked on trying to understand her mother’s motivation. Regardless of how bluntly her mother delivered her criticisms, she knew deep down that her mother only intended to help her be successful and well-regarded by others.

When she replied, my client simply thanked her mother for caring about her and always wanting what is best for her.

Then it was her mother’s turn to be caught off guard!  She wrote back that she was surprised and very pleased at how “maturely” and “graciously” her daughter had received the “feedback.” This is the hidden blessing my client uncovered inside this apparently negative incident: She knows that her mother may never change, but she will never again be made to feel “less than” whenever her mother shares her personal opinions with her.

As my clients so wonderfully demonstrated, your MINDSET and ENERGY (your thoughts plus the emotions those thoughts conjure up) constitute a very powerful force – a SUPERPOWER, in fact!  We are all born with it….We just have to consciously choose to use it for our benefit and the benefit of everyone whose paths we cross.

COACHING SUCCESS

“Caroll helped me identify my unconscious limiting beliefs and how they were stopping me from moving forward in all areas of my life.  Working with her, the time and money investment I made in myself resulted in personal growth and a movement forward in my business.  I now have the tools and resources to use, if I lose focus on what matters most to me.” – D. K., direct sales Team Leader

If you would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to my website at https://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and enter your name and email at the top.

How are you doing on manifesting YOUR Big Goals?  Are you going slower than you would like and unsure of just what is holding you back from the success you deserve? For expert help clarifying your personal and professional goals and some actionable advice for reaching them with speed and ease, please request a F*R*E*E*, no-obligation hour of Success Breakthrough Coaching!  Slots are limited, so please grab one while they last: www.calendly.com/carollschwartz/60min Or contact me with any questions directly at: caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com

October 3, 2021

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” – Napoleon Hill

I chose this week’s topic because it is one that I need for myself today: How to stop procrastinating (about writing this blog, among other projects).

With very few exceptions, most people struggle with procrastinating on important tasks and projects at least some of the time.  For some, it’s a way of life. We all want to accomplish our goals, but often we just cannot make ourselves get up off the couch and get moving.  We procrasti-snack or take a nap, watch TV or scroll aimlessly through social media. We drag our feet until the very last minute and then have to scramble to get it done on time.

Personally, I still do procrastinate from time to time, but I have improved a lot in past years, mainly because I have had to coach many of my clients in that area. In order to help them, I had to examine WHY most of us procrastinate and develop strategies to overcome it. 

Here are the five main reasons I believe we procrastinate and simple but effective techniques we can use to get moving and get ‘er done:

Procrastination Reason #1: The project seems overwhelming. Whenever you face a BIG goal, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Thoughts about all the various tasks involved race through your head and your brain shuts down, not knowing where to begin to tackle it.  I know because that’s how I felt on Memorial Day weekend when my husband and I got the unexpected news we were going to have to move by August because our landlord needed to sell the house we were renting. Looking around each room and thinking about ALL the items in the cupboards and ALL the stuff in the garage and ALL the files in both our offices, my head started spinning.

Then I grabbed a lifeline. I called my BFF Lisa, who had moved her household from one part of the state to another just a few months prior. I asked her how she had gone about organizing her BIG move  and she gave me some simple and very useful advice:  Just start anywhere.  Pick a room or a closet, get a garbage bag for stuff to toss, one for stuff to give away, and a moving box for what you want to keep. Then look at each item or piece of clothing and decide (“ruthlessly” as she put it) if you REALLY need it.  Having to pack and pay to ship it was very helpful in getting me to be ruthless!

I picked something easy to start with: our bedroom closet.  It went so quickly, I realized that by simply going room by room, I could get it all packed in a couple of weeks, one cupboard, one closet at a time.

Solution #1: Start ANYWHERE and take ONE action.  Once you get going, your mind will naturally begin to fall into organizing patterns for the whole project and you will also see that it isn’t as big or daunting a task as your brain had imagined. You will build momentum quickly and “inch by inch, it’s a cinch,” as the saying goes.

Procrastination Reason #2: You cannot figure out HOW to begin.  This sometimes happens when I start a new course, whether designing it or taking it as a participant. In order to plunge in, I first need to ask myself “What’s missing?”  Is it a system for filing information?  Is it advice or information that I need (like when I called Lisa)?  Is it materials or tools that I need?  Maybe you just need to get a whiteboard or cork board to write your ideas on 3×5 cards and pin up in random order. You can move them around to organize them LATER.  Dumping ideas from your brain onto paper as they come to you and THEN going back to organize them is a great way to break the “getting started” log jam.

Solution #2: Figure out what is missing and focus just on getting that one piece of the puzzle.  For example, taking a 3-ring binder and creating sections with divider tabs helps me organize my thoughts about what I will need for a project and keeps all my notes in one neat place. When my notes are organized in a logical way, it always makes me feel “I’ve got this!”

Procrastination Reason #3: You think it will take SO long to finish.  When my clients try to tell me that they don’t have the time to do something they KNOW they must do, I like to share an embarrassing story of my own with them:

When my husband and I moved into our first home together, the movers stacked about 15 cartons of books on the floor in front of three empty bookshelves in my office. My brain told me it was going to require at least half a day to organize those hundreds of books on the bookshelves, and when was I ever going to have that much time to spare?  So, I just kept walking around the piles of boxes, feeling guilty and annoyed with myself every time I saw them. 

Finally, after 2 or 3 months of hating the clutter, I decided to just unpack ONE box (see Solution #1 above!)  I figured if I tackled just one box a day, it should take me about 20 minutes to organize those books on the shelves. If I stuck with it, I should be done in two weeks or so.  But when I unpacked the first box, it finally dawned on me that the books were ALREADY organized because I had taken them off the shelves and packed them together in order, so all I had to do was lift them back onto the shelves.  The whole “huge project” was done in less than an hour and I could see my office floor again!

Solution #3: Just do whatever you have time to do on the project each day.  You can set a timer for 15 minutes and promise yourself to do only what you can finish in that amount of time. Once you begin, you will be surprised at how much FASTER the whole thing goes than your brain thought it would.   

Reason #4: You are secretly afraid that if you try, you might FAIL.  Depending on what motivates YOU the most, you can take either a “carrot” or a “stick” approach to this fear.  The “Protector” part of your Ego wants you to be highly thought of and happy, so anything that risks “failure” is something it will try to use every procrastination trick in the book to make you avoid. 

Solution #4a: The “carrot” approach could be to remind yourself of a time when you succeeded at a similar task that you were first afraid of failing at. Then create a Personal Affirmation, as we discussed in a prior blog (No Doubt – Blog 414). The affirmation makes that triumph seem like it ALWAYS happens that way for you. Repeating that affirmation ALOUD many times will convince your Inner Protector that if you did it before, you can do it again. Keep repeating your Personal Affirmation ALOUD and it will give you courage and confidence to pursue your goal.

Solution #4b: Avoiding pain is the most powerful drive of your Inner Protector, so the “stick” motivator could be simply reminding yourself that if you don’t TRY, you are 100% GUARANTEED to “fail.” You can stay safely on the couch, but that means you also won’t get the goodies that would come with accomplishing the goal.  But if you give it your BEST effort, the odds are at least 50-50 for success!

Reason #5: I’d rather be doing (fill in the blank). Humans are inherently comfort-oriented, even lazy creatures. Those who reach their goals and excel are those who can overcome this tendency.  You CAN have your cake and eat it too….Just not all at the same time.  You have to do the work (bake the cake) and then you can enjoy the satisfaction of eating it. If you instead do something you would rather be doing, you likely won’t enjoy it anyway because the task you are avoiding is always looming in the back of your mind, making you feel guilty and taking the fun out of the distraction.

Solution #5: Easy! Promise yourself that you will enjoy your desired “carrot” AFTER you complete the necessary task.

There you have it! The next time you find yourself procrastinating, I hope you will remember to try one of these strategies to propel yourself into action.  Once you take the first step, momentum will carry you to the finish line and you will feel proud of yourself as you enjoy your chosen “carrot”!

PLEASE NOTE: The blog is taking next weekend off and will return on Sunday October 17.

COACHING SUCCESS: 

“Coaching with Caroll is one of the most critical investments I have made in my business.  She keeps me focused on my short- and long-term goals, and more importantly, helps me keep my mindset in a forward-moving and positive place.  She helps me to not get overwhelmed and to break my many accountabilities into specific tasks and strategies to streamline it in the future.” – Christine, interior design company owner, Realtor and direct sales Team Leader

How are you doing on manifesting YOUR Big Goals?  Are you going slower than you would like and unsure of just what is holding you back from the success you deserve? For expert help clarifying your personal and professional goals and some actionable advice for reaching them with speed and ease, please request a F*R*E*E*, no-obligation hour of Success Breakthrough Coaching!  Slots are limited, so please grab one while they last: www.calendly.com/carollschwartz/60min Or contact me with any questions and/or sign up to receive the blog directly at: caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com