A Cup of Caroll

“When everyone on the team is accountable, the team’s effectiveness rises above the sum of its parts.” – from the book Pulling Together

The dictionary definition of the word “accountable” is “Responsible to somebody else or to others or responsible for something.”

This week, when one of my clients showed a very off the wall reaction to the idea of being accountable, I suddenly realized that the meaning and value of accountability are NOT self-evident nor universally-accepted. I think it’s worth examining the concept of being accountable and understanding the crucial role it plays in helping you reach your Big Goals.

When you promise (I like the word “commit” even more) to do something, you are making yourself accountable for keeping your word, whether it is to someone else or to yourself. Most of us try our best to keep our promises to others, even to our own detriment sometimes. But how often do we make commitments to ourselves that we fail to be accountable for, like going to the gym three times a week, making a certain number of prospecting calls each day, taking time to do our personal development work every morning, etc.?

With every one of my coaching clients, I share a number of powerful tools that will put the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) into action to help them reach their Big Goals much faster and more easily than they can do simply with their own smarts and hard work. That’s because they don’t know the best, most efficient way to reach their Big Goal – but God/The Universe does.   To get help with the “How,” all they have to do is to ASK for what they want, clearly and specifically, BELIEVE that it is possible, and demonstrate that they are 100% COMMITTED to their Big Goal.

Simply saying you want something doesn’t prove that you are really committed to having it – only your ACTIONS do. By taking whatever actions you know to take right now – even making just ONE committed step toward your Dream — activates a Divine “matching funds” program that can connect you to the people, resources and serendipitous “coincidences” to help you fulfill your Big Goal in amazing ways.

Minister Joel Osteen explains it beautifully: “In this day and age, we are equipped with so many wonderful resources in the natural: technology, education, abilities. It’s easy to rely on our own natural strength for so many things…[But] we aren’t limited to the earth’s resources; we have unlimited spiritual resources by the Spirit of God. There are some things that can’t happen by human thinking and reasoning.   There are things that won’t be solved by natural power and might. But God is not limited by the resources of this world.”

Accountability is a way of proving your commitment to your Big Goals. My clients often choose an accountability partner in their own business or personal life with whom they voluntarily check in daily or weekly to be held accountable for carrying out their promises to take ACTION on their Big Goals.

And, of course, providing an accountability structure for following through on the action plan they set for themselves each week is part of my job as their Coach. As long as a client does their best to show COMMITMENT to a Big Goal by keeping their promises to themselves and others, I know that God/The Universe will show them an even BETTER plan for reaching their Big Goal.

This past week, a client of four months fell off the accountability bandwagon — so badly, in fact, that it forced me to do something that I have done only three other times in nearly 11 years as a professional Coach.

The problem wasn’t that he broke his promises to himself and to me – that is something that happens to most of my clients at one time or another. A big part of my job is to help them recognize exactly what caused them to drop the ball and then strategize with them to come up with logistical fixes such as changing the timing, setting alarms and other reminders, or asking for assistance from others to help them carry through on their commitments.

Yet, despite my many helpful suggestions, this client routinely admitted that he had not carried through on his promise to use ALL of the Law of Attraction tools I had given him to their full effect. He would read his Daily Success Script every morning but was always “too tired” to do it at night. He claimed to feel grateful for the huge commission increase he had seen in the past 90 days. Yet, he was usually “too busy” to list 10 things he was grateful for in his Gratitude Journal each day, as a way of thanking God/The Universe for this prosperity and indicating he would welcome even MORE.

No, it wasn’t his failures to perform that were the problem. It was his refusal to take 100% responsibility for breaking his word. The prior Wednesday, just minutes before our scheduled call, he texted me that he was too busy with servicing all his new clients to talk to me then, and asked if we could reschedule. Wanting to support him, I gave him a slot that wasn’t particularly convenient for me, and he was happy.

We had a good call on Friday and I thought all was well until the following Wednesday when, right before our coaching time, he texted me (I swear I am not making this up!): “When my alarm went off that it was almost time to coach, it caught me by surprise. Doing it Friday means today came up quicker than my body clock was anticipating….I left all my stuff at home. I guess we need to reschedule.”

I texted him back that I wanted us to go ahead with the call as planned and that I wanted to share with him a powerful technique I learned years ago from Landmark Education for restoring your integrity with others who have been impacted by you not keeping your word.

I got crickets in return and I was left waiting by the phone for about 20 minutes before giving up and composing an email to him instead.

I believed that calling him out directly and strongly might be what was needed to finally shake him out of his complacency and make him understand that his lack of personal accountability was going to have a BIG negative impact on his ability to reach his goals. So I wrote an admittedly strong email to him. I have re-read it several times since, and though I now know he considered it “harsh,” I still feel it was the right thing to do and wouldn’t change a word of it. Here it is (edited a little bit for length):

“You really caught me by surprise today! I am very tired, having gotten maybe 3 hours sleep after a restless night. My patience is thin and I was looking forward to really focusing in and giving you my BEST today, regardless of the circumstances. That is my commitment to YOU, as a professional coach you are paying to help you succeed. 

Then I got your text saying that your stuff is at home because you forgot we had a call. That is not a big deal! We could have had the call anyway….Instead, you threw in the towel just like that.   Like this session didn’t really matter to you. And I know it does. I know your financial success is pretty close to life or death for you in reality.   And yet you would throw away a precious hour to learn more and gain more ground and get help with whatever your challenges are – just like that. 

I thought to myself, ‘OK, he is not really ready to coach today for other reasons – under the gun with paperwork, etc.’ I GET that. If you had said that, I would have understood. That is standing up and taking 100% responsibility. I just wanted to tell you how to restore your integrity whenever you have fallen short of your word. (Your word is to be ready to coach at your appointed time each week.) 

It’s not hard to do.   It’s very powerful and liberating.   I could have taught you the script for it in 5 minutes and forever after you could take responsibility with maturity and be respected by others, even when you have fallen short of your promises or goals. But you would not give me the 5 minutes to do that. 

This is why I am re-thinking whether we should be in coaching. I only coach the willing and the coachable. Too many people want and need help that I don’t have precious time to spend trying to persuade a grown up to come to the phone and learn a powerful integrity-restoring technique that will have him WIN in his life.”

I ended by asking for his thoughts, but never heard another thing from him until the next week’s scheduled coaching call. He called right on time and immediately launched into lecturing me that I was “rude,” “condescending,” did not “walk my talk” and that my email was an emotionally-volatile “rant” for which he could see no positive purpose. As proof, he had shown my email (without my permission) to four people who ALL agreed with him.

Realizing he was being defensive and unwilling to consider any other point of view, I knew exactly what was needed, for both our sakes. I quietly replaced the receiver in mid-rant and wrote him another email. In it, I stated that it’s 100% clear that we are complete with our coaching, that I am very happy his Big Goal of creating a specific amount of commission income over the past 90 days was fulfilled exactly, and that I wish him the very Best with his future endeavors.

Maybe you will agree with his four friends that I was too harsh. But I doubt it. Because if you are a regular reader of this blog and a student of The Law of Attraction and/or the Golden Rule, you already know that it takes personal responsibility, commitment, love for yourself and genuine caring for others in order to manifest Big Goals. And that’s why I am sure I will never, ever, have to say to YOU, “You’re Fired!”

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching! It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached! And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift!

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call toll-free 888-503-8145.

“The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things you will have to express gratitude for.” – Zig Ziglar

This blog is the 200^th I have written. Time does fly when you are having fun! I published my first Cup of Caroll in 2008 and after writing about 100, I took a prolonged, but necessary, break and re-started it with fresh enthusiasm in March 2013.

Before I share this week’s topic, I must pause and sincerely thank my cherished readers for your loyalty and for passing the blog along to your many friends, family members and colleagues. I may never meet you personally, but I strive to contribute to your success and happiness in my own small way.

This summer there has been a major increase in readership, so I thought my newer readers might like to know some “fun facts” about A Cup of Caroll:

• It takes me about four hours to write, edit and publish each blog. I usually do this on Saturday afternoon, right before Sunday’s publication. Sometimes I have only a vague idea (or no idea) of what I’m going to write about until I sit down in front of the computer.

• The wide-ranging topics come from three main sources: Books, articles and other resources I have found useful and think my readers will also find helpful; my own experiences; and my clients’ experiences.

• I require that all my current coaching clients read the blog. This is not due to vanity, but because the topics provide essential information about how to make their lives more purposeful, joyful, successful and prosperous. I cannot possibly share the same life lesson with forty different clients each week! Most of my clients say reading the blog is like getting a bonus coaching session each week.

• Over 400 readers currently subscribe to this free blog. I am very happy to know that it also gives people who are not my clients the same useful information for manifesting their Big Goals and living a fulfilling life as my paying clients receive. This is part of my mission to pay forward all the invaluable training and support I have been blessed to receive from masterful authors, coaches, mentors and teachers throughout my life.

• In an effort to walk my talk, I now publish the blog three Sundays each month, instead of weekly. I coach my clients that it is essential to take at least ONE DAY OFF each week, in order to balance work and precious family time and “Me” time. A refreshed, relaxed mind is a much more productive mind!

Now to this week’s blog topic, which came to me courtesy of a client who is struggling with mounting negative feelings about her “day job” and the perceived lack of support she gets from her husband, as she strives to build a financially and emotionally rewarding career in network marketing.

The more enthusiastic she gets about her new business, the more she resents her current job. She finds it stressful and unfulfilling, and believes it steals precious hours and energy she could be devoting to her new business. Nevertheless, her current reality is that her new business is not yet able to pay all the bills and support her family. Her impatience has also led her to resent her husband for not doing more to help her escape the shackles of her day job.

Fortunately, she recognizes that her feelings toward her day job and her husband are adversely affecting her new business. It’s impossible to compartmentalize our thoughts and feelings (AKA our “energy”), no matter how hard we try. Like gravity, the Law of Attraction is always at work, causing “energy to attract like energy.” If she feels resentful, impatient and worried about other aspects of her life, her negative energy will inevitably attract more people and circumstances that will make her feel the same way. And wonderful prospective customers and business partners will subliminally register her negative energy and be repelled, rather than attracted, by it.

My client asked me what she could do to transform her negative feelings about her current work and her husband’s apparent lack of drive. Here are the suggestions I gave her:

• Keep your eyes on the prize. Whatever we focus our attention/energy on will grow stronger. Focusing on what you hate about your current situation is only going to give you more to hate. Focus instead on vividly imagining (visualizing) what you WANT your life to be like when you reach your Big Goal. That will put the Law of Attraction to work for you – calling in the right people, resources and ideas to make it happen faster.
• Constantly remind yourself that your current situation is only temporary. My client has already attracted a serious business builder to her Team who is off to a flying start. If she simply continues to support this Fast Starter and share the business opportunity with as many people as possible, she will attract MORE Fast Starters and her business will begin to gain momentum.   She can’t know exactly when it will be ready for “lift off,” but it could be much sooner than she expects.   Trust that everything is working out just as it should and believe that Divine Timing is always perfect timing!
• Be grateful for everything and everyone in your life right now. Whatever we are grateful for expands. If we want MORE good things to come to us, we have to express gratitude for what we have right NOW. If you are grateful for the one dollar you have in your wallet, you will soon attract ten, a hundred, a thousand more. If you say, “All I’ve got is one lousy dollar! I’ll never have enough,” you are telling God/the Universe, “Money obviously makes me unhappy, so please don’t send me any more!”
• The fastest, easiest way to feel happier about what you have in your life right now is to get out a blank page and list everything you can think of to be grateful for about your job, your home, your significant other – whatever or whomever you are currently unhappy with. This allows you to stand back from the situation and realize that there are many more GOOD things about it than bad. Even the negative aspects are actually positives because they can help you develop the skills and strengths necessary to get what you really want.
• So, I recommended that my client list 50 things she was grateful for about her current job – e.g., it pays the bills, sends her kids to school, puts a roof over her and her family’s heads, puts food on the table, introduces her to good people (and possible new business prospects!), etc. etc. etc. She can be grateful that her current job has provided everything she has needed up to now, and when she is 100% ready, her new career will provide even MORE of what she desires and deserves. (Oh, and I told her to list 50 things she is grateful for about her husband, too.)

I know that my client is 100% coachable and committed to succeeding in her new business. Therefore, I expect her to take on this assignment with gusto. If she does, I predict that she will discover MORE than 50 things to appreciate about her job and her husband. Most of my clients who have done this exercise report that once they start, they get on a roll and can’t stop at just 50 gratitudes! (One who was incarcerated for a time sent me a list of 100 things he was grateful for – in prison! He is now free, and happily building a productive life and serving as a great role model for his young son.)

If my client does this exercise, she will be channeling positive energy toward her great NEW business opportunity and feeling renewed love and appreciation for her precious family. In recognizing how very blessed her life is right NOW, she is putting the Law of Attraction to work for her and doing something very practical and powerful to help her reach her Big Goal with maximum speed and ease!

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching! It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached! And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift!

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call toll-free 888-503-8145.

July 5, 2015

I was planning to take a breather from writing the blog this Holiday weekend, but I decided instead to re-post the blog from last Fourth of July, in order to remind you of the deeper meaning of what it means to be of service.

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” – John Andrew Holmes

Happy Fourth of July weekend! As we celebrate this most patriotic of all American holidays, we are reminded that “Freedom isn’t free” — and neither are happiness, abundance and personal fulfillment.

I recently read a wonderful book by Felicia Blanco Searcy called Do Greater Things: Following in Jesus’ Footsteps. One chapter that particularly stood out for me was about what Jesus taught about being of service. We often think that “service” to others is given primarily by those who risk their lives or make extraordinary personal sacrifices for their fellow man, such as those in the armed forces, law enforcement, medicine and public service do.

In reality, as Felicia’s book points out, service is something that ALL of us can and should participate in. In return, we will be rewarded with more happiness, abundance and fulfillment in our lives.   If we look around, we see everyday heroes among us, in every walk of life, who use their time, treasure and talents to improve the lives of others in countless ways, large and small.

A You Tube video was recently posted by a bystander who witnessed a spontaneous act of service in the checkout line at Wal Mart. A young mother with children in tow was trying to pay for four packages of diapers, believing they were on sale. When the checker informed her that only the first package was on sale and the other three were full price, the mother was crestfallen and embarrassed because she didn’t have enough money to pay the full tab.

That’s when an older woman in line stepped forward, put one hand on the mother’s shoulder and used the other to swipe a credit card and pay for her entire purchase. The young mother was flabbergasted. The older woman just smiled and said, “Someday, I know you will pay it forward to someone else.”

When a reporter tracked her down later to tell her that the cell phone video of her good deed has been viewed by millions, the Good Samaritan said she didn’t know what “going viral” meant, but she was glad that others knew about it, because she hoped it would inspire them to perform their own spontaneous acts of kindness.

As Felicia’s book states, “We serve best when we are involved with something that uses our gifts. Anytime we give from our passion, we give wholeheartedly and joyfully. Our enthusiasm is infections and people often join in because of our influence…

Service challenges us once again to look at our attitude toward receiving. Instead of teaching us to sacrifice, service teaches us how to accept gifts. That may sound like a contradiction. But when we give for the pleasure of giving, we see how others get the same pleasure from sharing. We let them give to us because we know that it brings them joy, since that is our experience, too….God gives to us through other people.

We also have a tendency to judge some acts as worthy service and other as less honorable. In truth, all service is notable. We all have the ability to contribute to the well-being of our planet, and no job is holier than another.

However insignificant we may feel our own contribution is, we should always remember that our good works are vital to the well-being of the whole.  Without our efforts, someone would suffer.”

This Independence Day weekend, as we celebrate our precious freedoms and abundant way of life, let’s recognize that service is not performed just by our wonderful men and women in uniform, public servants and those who labor in the helping professions. Being of service is is a precious gift that all of us can and should make our personal mission every day.

****************** The Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

I invite you to offer someone you care about a truly unique gift that can change their life — ONE HOUR of Personal Success Coaching! It is absolutely F*R*E*E* of charge, with no obligation and no strings attached! And if YOU haven’t coached with me in awhile and would like a “tune up” session please give yourself this gift!

To schedule a F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make this the BEST year yet, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or call toll-free 888-503-8145.