A Cup of Caroll

November 19, 2017

“Messenger of Happiness” by Kate Osier

“Oh!  Let me shed a little light

on someone’s path I pray.

I’d like to be a messenger

of happiness today.

It may be just a phone call,

a smile, or a prayer,

or a long-neglected letter

that smooths the edge of care.

I want to spread some happiness

in what I say or do.

I want to make life sweeter

for someone else. Don’t you?”

As we head into Thanksgiving week here in the USA, most of us are preparing to either play host or be a grateful guest at a gathering filled with family, food, warmth and joy. That is the ideal, anyway, although, as we all know, the realities of family dynamics and human interactions are sometimes far from ideal.

Still, gatherings like Thanksgiving and the rest of the Holiday Season give us the opportunity to practice a wonderful concept that I learned just this week from a story featured on my favorite positive TV news magazine, CBS Sunday Morning.

The billboard of a church in a poor part of Philadelphia that operates a daily free meal service for anyone who chooses to come in says simply, “All are welcome.  We practice Radical Hospitality here.”

 I looked up the word “hospitality” and it is defined as “A friendly welcome and kind or generous treatment offered to guests or strangers.” That’s a wonderful thing, no doubt.

 But RADICAL Hospitality goes beyond just being kind or generous to guests or strangers.  I believe it means putting your actions where your mouth is and doing something to PROVE to someone that you believe they are valuable. In fact, they are PRICELESS.  You may not know them personally, but you are willing to set aside your own Ego’s self-focus, personal judgments and typical conditions for reciprocating kindness in order to do something tangible to show them that you care about them and make them feel a sense of self-worth and value.

The featured church’s food program is supported by two restaurant partners, one of whom used to be a drug addict.  The two men own four successful restaurants and donate 100% of the profits from one of the four to the church. This support allows the church to feed a hot meal every day to the homeless, the elderly or anyone who just wants to come into a warm place for some camaraderie, amazing food and even more amazing service.

The restaurant supplies the same fabulous food to the church program that it serves to its own paying customers – far above the usual standards of a “soup kitchen.”  And the restaurant’s efficient young wait staff all volunteer unpaid on their own time to serve the “guests” (as they are always referred to), who are seated beneath beautiful stained glass windows in the sanctuary at big round tables covered with lovely linens, plates and silverware.

Some guests arrive trailing shopping carts filled with their belongings, while others look clean and presentable and may have been just living alone and in need of company. “They don’t care what you smell like,” as one older black lady said. The staff and volunteers don’t ask questions or judge them in any way; they simply practice Radical Hospitality by making them feel welcome and valued.

One homeless gentleman started crying on camera, saying that he didn’t think he’d be alive today if it weren’t for this program.  Not because he couldn’t get a meal somewhere else, but because he couldn’t be made to feel like a worthwhile human being anywhere else.

I think we are ALL capable of practicing Radical Hospitality.  It means going above and beyond – maybe in a small but a significant way – to make someone feel valued, appreciated and special.  That’s what my readers and I have been trying to do with our annual Pay It Forward Challenge.

 Your stories have been pouring in about the many wonderful big and little things you are doing to make others feel a measure of the joy that you feel as you count your blessings this Holiday Season. I find them SO inspiring!

Here are just two examples that illustrate beautifully the concept of giving Radical Hospitality:

• One of my readers noticed an unkempt, clearly-homeless man sitting by himself in the café where she was having lunch. She went to the counter and told the owner she wanted to buy the man lunch AND a $25 gift card to use later.  The owner began to cry and told her that she had been trying to resist the urgings of other patrons who wanted the homeless man banned from the restaurant because his presence made them “uncomfortable.”  My reader’s support gave courage to the owner to continue to stand up for what she felt was right – offering kindness and hospitality to a fellow human being who needed it.
• Another reader’s friend recently found the courage to end a toxic relationship and move herself and her teenage daughter into their own small apartment, leaving the emotionally abusive man she had been living with for years. Several of her friends pitched in to help her move, and as they were ordering pizza for dinner in her new place, my reader opened the refrigerator and saw that it was empty.  So she went to the store and bought everything her friend and her daughter would need to stock it.  Her generous gesture was a comparatively small sacrifice for her, but I am sure it gave a huge measure of comfort and hope to her friend, who was making the biggest change of her life.

Wherever you find yourself this Thanksgiving and the rest of the Holiday Season – with friends, family or just a beloved pet and the television — I hope you will be counting your own blessings and looking for ways to bless others with some Radical Hospitality, too.  That might mean preparing and sharing your favorite delicious dish or just listening patiently to an older relative who tells the same stories every year or a child who craves your attention and approval.

And even beyond that, how many ways can you find to express Radical Hospitality in your career, business or personal relationships?  What would it do to your sales results if you constantly looked for ways to make your customers feel valued and special?  How would it affect your business Team, prospective Team or work colleagues  if you made them feel they are the cream of the crop and you appreciate them every day?  And what about your own significant other, spouse or children? What ways can you find to surprise and delight those closest to you by treating them like treasured guests instead of taking them for granted?

Making those around us feel valued, special and appreciated is the essence of putting our own feelings of gratitude for our many blessings into Pay It Forward ACTION.  And, as the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) teaches us, showing Radical Hospitality to others will always attract more of the same to us.

I look forward to sharing more inspiring stories with you soon!  In the meantime, I wish you and yours a very filling and FUL-filling Thanksgiving.  The blog will be taking the next weekend off so that I can share mine with those I love.  Your next Cup of Caroll will arrive on Sunday December 3!

 If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

“It is not enough to have lived.  We should be determined to live for something.  May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of personkind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.” – Leo Buscaglia

In last week’s blog, I confessed to feeling rather sad and helpless lately about the seemingly-endless stream of bad news that has inundated us this year.  I declared that we “need a little Christmas, right this very minute,” as the tune goes. My solution was to kick off the blog’s annual Pay It Forward Challenge for my readers early this year, so we can stir up some badly needed Holiday Spirit right NOW.

The rules of the PIF Challenge are simple: Find someone who needs a little support or comfort and do something to help them, inspire them, support them or just make them feel cared about.  Your gift doesn’t have to involve much or any money.  It can be in person or anonymous.  It can be to a friend or a stranger. Your giving gesture may seem small to you, but it will undoubtedly put a surprised and delighted smile on their face.

Many of my coaching clients and readers have already messaged me that they are very much IN and are actively on the lookout right now for an opportunity to spread some love and cheer to someone who needs it.

The truly wonderful thing about the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) is that it’s impossible to pay forward the many blessings you have received in your own life without attracting even MORE blessings to yourself. That’s because whatever you think, feel and do will come back to you.  It may not return to you from the same person you blessed, but it WILL come to you through whatever means God/the Universe thinks best.

I recently had my own delightful experience of this PIF “gift return” phenomenon.  One of my long-distance friends, Bob Perks, is a mindset coach, writer, singer and DJ.  We’ve never met, but my wonderful husband Rick and I have been inspired by Bob’s positive outlook on life for years and have shared some of his personal experience stories in our blog and newsletter from time to time.

Bob’s American Legion post in Pennsylvania holds a small Veteran’s Day celebration for the veterans and their families every year.  There is little budget for it, but Bob has always done his best to make it as festive as possible, sometimes putting on a musical show and always whipping up some of his homemade goodies for a modest buffet.

We hadn’t been in close contact for a few months, but as I started thinking that Veteran’s Day was right around the corner, I got a strong inner urging to text Bob and find out what the Legion was planning to do to honor these wonderful veterans and their families this year. He replied that they were having a small hometown parade and then would come back to the Legion afterward for a little potluck.

Right then, it came into my head to send him $200 toward the cost of the food and decorations.  It wasn’t something I had planned on, and to tell you the truth, nearing the end of the month, it was a bit of a tight squeeze financially for me.  But that was the number that came into my head, and I’ve learned better than to question “Divine Inspiration” when it hits me!  I trusted that it was what I was supposed to do to Pay it Forward to these wonderful veterans and their families who have sacrificed so much to serve their country. So I hit “send” on PayPal and didn’t think much more about it.

To my surprise, there was a huge outpouring of gratitude from Bob, the post Commander, and all the vets that went far beyond what I thought my small gift deserved. Turns out, Bob’s Legion didn’t have any budget for a celebration and only three people had signed up to bring any food.  My modest gift provided a long table full of delicious treats and, most importantly, made the vets and their families feel truly valued.  The fact that a stranger clear across the country actually CARED was a “thank you for your service” that meant the world to them.

Bob sent me lots of pictures afterward, showing 50 or so attendees having a good time, including families whose loved ones were overseas at the moment, protecting and serving the rest of us.  The background on the picture I chose to illustrate this blog was provided by Bob.  Here’s what he said about the group:

“The Legion Riders are a nationally-recognized motorcycle club whose sole purpose is to support veterans’ causes.  They fundraise by doing rides and holding raffles.  Many are vets, but some are not. The national American Legion considers them an intricate part of serving veterans….They are my family.  That is why it was a thrill beyond measure for me to bring your gift to them.  You have no idea.”

Bob’s right.  I had NO idea.  But by following my inner wisdom and listening to that “still, small voice” that guides us, I found that my small gesture made a much bigger difference than I ever would have imagined.

And then, as the icing on the cake, my personal “gift return” came just a few days later.  A handful of my clients had recently taken a “holiday hiatus” from coaching, sitting out November and December and planning to resume coaching with me in January. That’s fine, except it also means that a fair portion of my income goes away, too, just as my own family’s Holiday expenses kick in.

The unexpected “return gift” from my Pay It Forward gesture to the veterans is that an unprecedented number of NEW clients have just come into coaching to take their place and replenish my own financial well-being, right before the Holidays!

What we truly BELIEVE is not demonstrated by our words, but by our ACTIONS.  By giving to the vets without fearing “will I have enough left for ME?” I was proving my faith in the Law of Attraction and the limitless abundance I believe is available to each of us.  It was the perfect Win-Win: Deserving veterans and their families thousands of miles away felt the love from my PIF gesture, AND that positive energy I sent to them returned to bless my own family, too!

I look forward to hearing from YOU in the coming weeks with your own personal anecdotes of specific ways you passed along help, love and goodwill to others. I will gather these stories and publish them in a future blog to inspire even MORE people to join us and Pay it Forward this Holiday Season. Together, we can start a chain of good vibrations that will bless many, many people AND come back to bless each of us, as well!

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

“If you wait until you can do everything for everybody, instead of something for somebody, you’ll end up not doing nothing for nobody.”  — Malcom Bane

Even for me, a seasoned Life Coach with many tools at my fingertips to help me maintain a positive mindset and optimistic expectation for the BEST outcomes, 2017 has been one helluva challenging year.

I honestly cannot remember one single year of my 64 so far that has been packed with such a steady stream of dispiriting calamities – devastating natural disasters like fires, floods and hurricanes; man-made tragedies like the Las Vegas shooting massacre of innocents; terrorism and wars around the globe; and a dysfunctional government in Washington filled with politicians who seem far more focused on enriching themselves and getting good press than on actually helping the people who elected them.

As I was pondering what a crazy and depressing year it’s been, my subconscious mind suddenly began running through the lyrics to the catchy little song called “We Need a Little Christmas” by Shane Harper. In case you don’t remember it, here are a few of the verses:

“Haul out the holly;

Put up the tree before my spirit falls again.

Fill up the stocking,

I may be rushing things but deck the halls again now.

 For we need a little Christmas

Right this very minute,

Candles by the window,

Carols at the spinet.

Yes, we need a little Christmas

Right this very minute….

For I’ve grown a little leaner,

Grown a little colder,

Grown a little sadder,

Grown a little older,

And I need a little angel

Sitting on my shoulder,

Need a little Christmas now.”

 I am usually the first to complain that store displays, commercials and non-stop Christmas songs blaring from the radio start before Halloween nowadays.  But this year, I am looking forward to a little Christmas atmosphere just as soon as we can get it…Not the commercial “buy everything you can get your hands on” kind of atmosphere — But the REAL “Spirit of the Holidays” (which include Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa — every tradition that is celebrated around the end of each year).

That Spirit reflects our BEST human impulses — Gratitude, Giving, Caring and Sharing.  It’s the one season when we all seem willing to set aside our many differences and come together. We are ready to take a breath and just be kinder and more loving toward our fellow human beings. And I say that we are ready for a little of that Christmas Spirit right about NOW!

So I am going to start the ball rolling early this year!  For the past several years, this blog has had a holiday tradition called the “Pay-It-Forward Challenge” that invites YOU to participate.  I love hearing about the many creative ways my readers find to help someone else, show them that they matter to you, or simply brighten their day and put a smile on their face.

I got the idea for the Pay It Forward Challenge when I was at Starbucks during Thanksgiving week a couple of years ago. A stranger ahead of me paid $5.00 toward my purchase, which turned my frazzled, grumpy day around and put a smile on my face that never went away through the rest of the year.  That simple generous kindness inspired me to buy a bunch of $5.00 gift cards and begin giving them out every few days to the baristas at the register to bestow on random people in the line behind me.

I can’t wait to repeat that joyful practice again from this month through the end of the year!  I trust that each of those surprised strangers who receive my gift will also pay it forward to make someone else feel special and cared about. Last year, the baristas told me that there were a number of people doing the same thing, creating a big old warm chain of joy and gratitude, one cup at a time!

You can experience the joy of spreading around some “Holiday Spirit” in your own creative ways.  Your kindness and thoughtfulness doesn’t have to cost anything.  Here are few examples my readers came up with in years past:

• Let someone who appears to be in a hurry go ahead of you in the checkout line. I promise they will beam at you!
• Help a harried friend or colleague run an errand, or babysit their kids while they do.
• Surprise your friends, family and clients with a snail-mailed or emailed Thanksgiving card this year! Few people think to send them, but this gesture says, “I am so grateful for you!” to friends and customers like nothing else can.
• Use your musical, baking or crafting talents to spread cheer and delight to children, neighbors, elderly folks and the sick.
• Help an older person or someone who is under the weather put up their holiday decorations or haul home their Christmas tree.
• Donate some lightly-used warm clothing or blankets to an organization that serves the homeless.
• Donate food or pet supplies to an organization that helps loving pets that are patiently waiting for their forever homes.
• Surprise someone with a tin of tea and a plate of homemade holiday treats. Better yet, sit down and listen to them while you enjoy the goodies together.

If you are able, pay your own financial blessings forward by spreading the prosperity around a bit.  Here are just a few ideas:

• Surprise a friend on a tight budget with a supermarket gift card that will make their Holiday feast much brighter.
• At the gas station, if you notice someone in an old car with kids in the back, surprise her by paying for a tank of gas.
• Astonish a homeless person by handing them $5 or $10 instead of spare change.
• Contribute a little extra to your favorite charity or cause. I like to support local animal rescue organizations that are operating on a shoestring. $25 means far more to them than it does to the big animal welfare organizations, although I try to donate as much as I can to those, too.
• This year, more than any other in recent memory, we have the opportunity to donate to the Red Cross and other relief organizations that are struggling to fill the needs of millions whose lives have been upended from so many back-to-back natural disasters.

It’s easy to fall into despair and think “What difference can I make in the face of all that seems so wrong and tragic in the world?”  But as this week’s quote reminds us, any little thing we do for someone else to pay forward all the many blessings we have received in our own lives is BIG to that person.  And if each of us makes it our mission to touch just ONE life this way, we can start a tidal way of Gratitude, Kindness and Giving that just might spread “a little Christmas” cheer far beyond the end of the year.

Please email me your own Pay It Forward Challenge story!  I will collect them and share them in a future blog to inspire others to do more of the same.

 If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

 *************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.