A Cup of Caroll

“The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy.”   — Florence Scovel Shinn

Many of my clients tell me the toughest challenge to growing their business is that their prospective customers do not return their messages — whether left via voice mail, text, email or social media.

This behavior is puzzling and frustrating to them, because most of these are not “cold calls,” but attempts to reach someone who has ASKED to be contacted with information about the products or business opportunity my clients represent. Unreturned messages are one of my personal pet peeves regarding others’ professionalism and courtesy, so I feel their pain!

One of my clients who is a sales rep for a large communications company (ironically) recently spent a frustrating week trying to get a colleague to respond to her urgent messages. Her upcoming sales presentation for a large account was missing a critical piece of technical information only he could provide. Other colleagues also tried to help her reach the tech guy, leaving him numerous voice mails and emails. Days went by and Mr. MIA never responded to anyone. Fearing that her presentation was rapidly going down the tubes, she asked me in frustration, “How should I deal with someone who is so unprofessional, thoughtless and rude?”

I suggested these two approaches:

First, as I learned for myself in my own frustrating and frightening experience with the IRS (See blogs #153-155, if you missed it), we can only establish effective communication with others by letting go of ALL feelings of resentment and judgment about them.

Even if someone appears to have gone into the Witness Protection Program, the truth is that you don’t know why they are not responding to you. They might be on vacation and not picking up their messages. They might be sick. They might have had a sudden family crisis. Or, they may be hoping that ignoring your messages will make you go away and not put them on the spot to tell you “No.” When you don’t know the facts, the best approach is always to remain neutral and calm by reminding yourself not to make up a “meaning” for someone’s puzzling actions.

Unless you are a cunning sociopath or skilled habitual liar, it will be impossible for you to hide your true feelings when you write a message or leave a voice mail for a non-responder – especially the second or third time! Any underlying frustrated and judgmental energy you hold in your heart will come through in subtle cues that will make them all the more reluctant to answer you.

If you want someone to respond to you in a timely, open and honest manner, the ancient wisdom of the I Ching advises us to “….first, lay aside our prejudices – our feelings of being wounded, angry or in the right – and second to seek to understand the positions of others and the lesson that the Sage is teaching us with the situation. Even when another is truly out of line, it is only by accepting this and remaining balanced that you make it possible for positive change to occur.   Gentleness and understanding create in others an unconscious willingness to be led.”

My second piece of advice for my client was that whenever I notice two or more people behaving the same way toward me, I try to identify the pattern of behavior they are exhibiting and then ask myself, “Where am I doing the same thing they are doing — either to myself or others?” Our outer world inevitably mirrors our inner world, so when we are out of integrity in some area of life, others will be out of integrity in that area with us.

If you detect a pattern of others not responding to you, here are some areas to look at where you might be out of integrity regarding communication:

v    Do you have an undelivered communication of your own? Is there someone you need to say goodbye to, tell your truth to, set boundaries with, say “No” to, or ask for what you need? Have you been avoiding doing this?

v    Do you have an outstanding deliverable of your own? Have you put off filing your taxes, writing a thank you note, sending a birthday card, finishing a project for work or filing your expense report?

v    Have you put off replying to a message that was sent to YOU? Are you ignoring someone else’s communication need by telling yourself you are “too busy” and you will “get to it later”?

To get the results she wanted, my client needed to do three specific things: 1) Say “No” to someone, which she had been putting off because she dreaded the imagined reaction. 2) File an overdue expense report. 3) Release all feelings of disappointment, annoyance and judgment toward her colleague and instead visualize him as a cooperative teammate who was on her side and wanted her to win the account for their mutual benefit.

Soon after she got back into integrity in these three areas, her tech colleague responded, my client got the help she needed and preparations for her big sales presentation were back on track!

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What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your big dreams and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: http://practicalprosperitycoach.com or contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation!

“You get in life what you ask for.” – Oprah Winfrey

I love this quote! There couldn’t be a more succinct and accurate description of how we create our own reality every day (for good and for bad). If this seems like a “too good to be true” formula for creating everything you want for your life, allow me to share some additional details with you.

What Oprah has highlighted here is the first of three simple steps that make up the formula outlined in The Secret by Rhonda Byrne for harnessing the power of the Law of Attraction to help deliver anything you want with minimum effort and maximum speed. The three simple steps are: 1) ASK 2) BELIEVE 3) RECEIVE.

One of my prosperity coaching clients recently gave me an example of just how easy it is to use the Law of Attraction to bring us what we want, often with a simpler strategy than we could have ever figured out for ourselves.

My client told me that she has been practicing ASKING the Universe for what she wants, and then letting go of all emotional attachment about when and how it will show up.   Instead, she concentrates on strengthening her BELIEF that it will come to her and gets herself ready to RECEIVE it with maximum gratitude when it appears.

One of the perks of achieving a high rank as an independent consultant in her network marketing company is receiving a free leased Lexus. The company will pay for any Lexus model, as long as it is the “Starfire Pearl” color, much like a pink Cadillac identifies the Mary Kay company’s high achieving sales people.

My client still has a way to go before becoming a Lexus Achiever, but she is making great strides in her business and is confident she is on her way. As a self-motivation tool, she has been declaring aloud every day for months, “My next car is a Starfire Pearl Lexus!” She did this with a sense of ease and play, letting go of any concern about HOW or WHEN the Universe would deliver it. She just BELIEVED that it would come to her at the perfect time in the perfect way.

After happily driving a Lexus SUV for several years, the lease was about to expire. Wanting to be practical about her finances as a newly-single woman, she was thinking of turning it in and getting a less expensive, more practical car, while waiting to achieve the FREE Starfire Pearl Lexus she knew would one day be hers.

She did her due diligence, starting with the dealership that held her current lease. She asked the leasing manager how much the monthly payment would be for a smaller Lexus sedan, but the amount was still too high for her budget. So she began researching other makes, but nothing she test drove felt right to her.   As the time for her lease expiration drew closer, she calmly kept affirming that, at the ideal moment, the Universe would lead her to the perfect car at the perfect price.

One day, she got a strong inner prodding to go back to her Lexus dealership and ask the leasing manager one more time for the best rate he could offer her. He was excited to see her again, exclaiming, “I’m SO glad you came back because we just got the new leasing rate sheet TODAY and the rates are lower than they were when we last spoke!” The new lease amount for the sedan she wanted was just FIVE DOLLARS more than she had budgeted for.

My client was laughing when she told me the rest of the great news: The new sedan gets much better mileage than her SUV and uses regular gas, so her monthly fuel bill would be considerably lower. The new lease includes two free major maintenances, which for her 27 month contract, should cover just about ALL maintenance.

SOLD! She happily turned in her red SUV for a brand new white four-door sedan. Now, she says, “When I sit in my Starfire Pearl Lexus, it feels SO peaceful. I’ve never felt like that in any other car.”

When my client ASKED the Universe for what she wanted, she thought she knew how it would come to her. But it turns out she didn’t have to wait as long or work as hard as she had imagined to drive her dream car. Instead, she got a delightful lesson in just how quickly and easily we can RECEIVE what we want – IF we are willing to simply follow the Universe’s guidance and not let our own preconceived HOWs get in the way!

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What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your big dreams and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: http://practicalprosperitycoach.com or contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation!

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” – John Andrew Holmes

Happy Fourth of July weekend! As we in the USA celebrate this most patriotic of all American holidays, we are reminded that “Freedom isn’t free” — and neither are happiness, abundance and personal fulfillment.

I recently read a wonderful book by Felicia Blanco Searcy, “Do Greater Things: Following in Jesus’ Footsteps.” One chapter that particularly stood out for me was about what Jesus taught about being of service.   We often think that “service” is done primarily by those who risk their lives or make extraordinary personal sacrifices for their fellow man, such as those in the armed forces, law enforcement, medicine and public service do.

In reality, as Felicia’s book points out, service is something that ALL of us can participate in. In return, we will be rewarded with more happiness, abundance and fulfillment in our lives.   If we look around, we see everyday heroes among us, in every walk of life, who use their time, treasure and talents to improve the lives of others in countless ways, large and small.

A YouTube video was recently posted by a bystander who witnessed a spontaneous act of service in the checkout line at WalMart. A young mother with children in tow was trying to pay for four packages of diapers, believing they were on sale. When the checker informed her that only the first package was on sale and the other three were full price, the mother was crestfallen and embarrassed because she didn’t have enough money to pay the full tab.

That’s when an older woman in line stepped forward, put one hand on the mother’s shoulder and used the other to swipe a credit card and pay for her entire purchase. The young woman was flabbergasted. The older woman just smiled and said, “Someday, I know you will pay it forward to someone else.”

When a reporter tracked her down later to tell her that the cell phone video of her good deed has been viewed by millions, the Good Samaritan said she didn’t know what “ going viral” meant, but she was glad that others knew about it, because she hoped it would inspire them to perform their own spontaneous acts of kindness too.

As the book states, “We serve best when we are involved with something that uses our gifts.   Anytime we give from our passion, we give wholeheartedly and joyfully. Our enthusiasm is infections and people often join in because of our influence… 

“Service challenges us once again to look at our attitude toward receiving. Instead of teaching us to sacrifice, service teaches us how to accept gifts. That may sound like a contradiction. But when we give for the pleasure of giving, we see how others get the same pleasure from sharing. We let them give to us because we know that it brings them joy, since that is our experience, too….God gives to us through other people. 

“We also have a tendency to judge some acts as worthy service and other as less honorable. In truth, all service is notable. We all have the ability to contribute to the well-being of our planet, and no job is holier than another. 

“However insignificant we may feel our own contribution is, we should always remember that our good works are vital to the well-being of the whole. Without our efforts, someone would suffer.” 

So as we celebrate our precious freedoms and abundant way of life this weekend, let’s recognize that service isn’t just performed by our wonderful men and women in uniform, public servants and those who labor in the helping professions. Being of service is something ALL of us can and should make our personal mission every day.

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What do you want for your life? My “job description” as a coach is simply this: I help you get what YOU want. I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation where together we’ll explore your big dreams and determine if coaching can assist you in reaching them. I have programs and coaching specialties for every need. Learn more at: http://practicalprosperitycoach.com or contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com or toll free at 888-503-8145. Contact me TODAY to schedule a complimentary phone consultation!