July 9, 2023

“Believe with all of your heart that you will do what you were made to do.” – Orison Swett Marden

One of the biggest joys of being a long-time Personal Success Coach (19 years this September) comes when a past client reaches out to tell me they have achieved one of their long-held Big Dreams. I got one of those surprise emails this week.

I believe her story holds some important lessons for all of us, so I decided to share it with you, in case your own Big Dream may appear to be currently stuck or even derailed.

I have been coaching “Valerie” off and on for more than a decade, through many ups and downs in her life.  She is bright, passionate, hardworking, spiritual and coachable – all traits I look for in my “Ideal Client.”  And, being human, she also sometimes shows tendencies to be pessimistic, resentful and stubborn.

Born in another country and culture, Valerie came to the US years ago after deciding her original career was not fulfilling her. She switched to a new major and worked hard to get an advanced degree at a prestigious US university, thinking that would be her ticket to a great life.

When we began coaching, her Big Goal was to land a high-paying, fulfilling job where she could actively use her unique and special gifts to carry out what she believed to be her life purpose.

She had many other heartfelt goals, of course, like getting married and having a child one day, once she settled into her desired new career.  She was picky about many things, with sometimes (I thought) unrealistically high standards for herself and those she wanted to work with and be in relationships with.

I gave her many mindset tools to help her attract the right people, opportunities and abundance she desired and deserved.  She was faithful about using those tools daily and being as coachable as possible.  Still, we spent a lot of time dealing with her frustrations that others seemed to be constantly disappointing her, cheating her, disrespecting her or overlooking her. There was a good amount of delay and frustration for her, and she had a hard time maintaining a positive mindset and learning to truly expect The Best.

Along the way, she overcame a number of daunting challenges, and the timing was always pretty miraculous in these “saves.” As I drew her attention to these positive results, she began gradually to believe that God/The Universe just might be on her side and actively helping her, after all.

Maybe there really was a Divine Plan for her life that was being fulfilled, but neither of us could see a clear “Big Picture” in all the detours and delays that seemed to plague her.  I just focused on helping her overcome each obstacle as it came up, and move forward with positive expectations and energy to attract what she desired to her.

While we worked on her career (which was really a series of short-term jobs that didn’t work out), she was beginning to feel pressured by her family to find a mate and have a child, as she was well into her 30s.  She was very clear that she ONLY wanted someone from her own culture and religion, of a similar age, who had never been married either. (Not even widowers with no children would qualify.)

I thought that was a really small pond to be fishing in.  At least she was open to finding Mr. Right in the area of the US where she lived OR back in her country of origin.  She was beginning to feel homesick and strongly hoped to land a job with a company that had connections to her country, so she could spend longer periods of time there with her aging parents and extended family.

One day, “out of the blue,” she got a notification that she had been matched online with someone she hadn’t even reached out to.  I seems her aunt took it upon herself to set up a profile for Valerie on a dating website that was just for her culture.  At first, she was really annoyed that her aunt was interfering in her personal life, but since “Sam” lived right in her city, she skeptically agreed to go out with him.

After their first date, she told me all about him: Smart, ambitious, thoughtful, kind. He was working in a tech startup and making almost no money, so his old beater car broke down on their date. She didn’t like the fact that his jacket looked like it had never been cleaned.  (Sam was clean, just not his jacket.)  He was the right age, had never been married, had all these great qualities, and seemed to like her. Still, she was ready to reject him because she didn’t like his jacket.

Sometimes, I just have to open my mouth, get out of the way, and let God speak Truth directly to my clients.  I summarized all of the great things she had told me about him and asked her if she didn’t think she was being a bit too hasty about giving up on him. I urged her to go on a few more dates before she decided he was Mr. Wrong.

Thankfully, she did.  They just celebrated their ninth wedding anniversary and their son just had his sixth birthday.  She still has not found a fulfilling career, although she has tried several options over the years. Sam, meanwhile, landed a great job in a Fortune 500 company that enabled them to travel and buy a house in their area’s expensive housing market.

Their son is very bright, but has had some behavioral and health challenges, and Valerie acknowledged that she would not have been able to give him the time and attention he needed while pursuing a challenging career of her own. We both expressed gratitude that she could devote time to her son and not need to work, but we were still wondering just what project or career God had in mind for fulfilling her life purpose.

Within the last year or two, it has become overwhelmingly clear to Valerie that she wants to move back to her country of origin.  Her husband isn’t opposed to it, but they have been waiting for a clear sign about the right timing, as it seemed risky to leave his high-paying job without having something solid already lined up.

Finally, the Divine Plan for fulfilling her goal became crystal clear: Sam’s supervisors had always been thrilled with his work and gave him many generous raises and perks over the years, but a few months ago, “out of the blue” he got his first bad performance review and soon was let go with four months’ severance pay.  Valerie said, “I was sad but also happy that he was finally free of the daily up and down.”

Sam applied to many companies in their area but didn’t get any offers. Then an old friend (“out of the blue” once again), introduced him to the founder of a company based in their home country.  She said, “He fell in love with the product and the company made him an offer as a founding engineer.” 

Valerie wrote in her email this week, “I am really happy. The last few years have been hard raising my son. Being away from family and having no family support near me took an emotional toll.  I am not sure if I had anything left to give my career and business.  I was feeling tired most of the time.  Now, in our home country, that would not be the case. I will have support and that makes the dream of manifesting a fulfilling career a real possibility.  I am happy now.”

She closed with, “I always think that I wanted to move back home and had no desire to live here. Probably that’s why doors closed in the US for us – who knows?”

Like all of us, Valerie’s Ego wanted what it wanted when it wanted it.  But now, it’s clear to both of us what the Long Game for her life has been about.  All of those random, “out of the blue” surprises were actually well planned and carried out by a Divine Mind infinitely greater than ours.

She wouldn’t have met Mr. Right nor had her wonderful son (truly her two BIGGEST dreams) if she hadn’t stayed in the US looking for work. She didn’t get the career of her dreams in the US because (she realized years later) she really belongs back home. There is undoubtedly where her ideal career for expressing her own special life purpose will be waiting. None of this was a surprise to her Higher Power, I am sure.

Valerie’s happy ending story proves to me, once again, that there truly is a Divine Plan for each of our lives and it’s always meant for our Highest Good, but we must leave the “How” up to God.

All that’s required of us is to keep our faith strong, strive to do and be our best each day, and wait patiently with positive expectation for the How to appear at the perfect time. When it does, we will recognize that the Life Path we have been traveling day by day has led us right to our ultimate desire.

IMPORTANT NOTE: The blog is taking the next TWO weeks off for a summer break.  Look for your next fresh Cup of Caroll on Sunday, July 30, 2023.

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I want to be of service to YOU and your friends, colleagues and loved ones.  To schedule a F*R*E*E* no-obligation one-hour Success Breakthrough Session by phone that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION on making them a reality, please email me while I still have openings at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com