July 29, 2018

 “Your success depends mainly upon what you think of yourself and whether you believe in yourself.” – William Boetcker

This month is important to many of my clients who are all in the same network marketing company.  July is their “convention qualification” period, where the status and titles they reach by the 31st will determine how they are recognized at their international convention in New Orleans in September.  It’s a big deal, and they are all running hard and giving it their BEST effort to reach their individual goals.

I fully support playing full out for a Big Goal.  If you really, really want something – especially if it has a drop-dead deadline – you need to be willing to work smart every available minute and use every mindset and Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) tool available to help you succeed.  Playing full out demonstrates your commitment to your Big Goal and causes God/The Universe and your own subconscious mind to conspire together to give you a boost with the “How.”

But there’s a hidden danger if you are always running at breakneck speed from one goal to the next.  While reaching important short-term goals can require a full-out sprint for a limited period, achieving long-term success is more like running a marathon.  You have to pace yourself or you risk physical and emotional burnout.  And you must always remember that you are not defined by your achievements.  You are valuable and worthy simply for being the unique and special person you are.

Here is a lightly-edited blog from “convention qualification month” two years ago that reminds us to keep a joyful attitude and take sufficient time to play, spend time with our loved ones, rest and recharge if we are going to win the LONG RACE.

July 17, 2016

I didn’t have to look far for the topic of this week’s blog.  It kept recurring among my clients last week and it is the subject of a collection of articles published by the Unity church entitled You Are Enough.

Two of my clients had their phones die for a time this week.  Both admitted to feeling a secret sense of relief because they could not be held responsible for not working their businesses.  One of them was at the beach for a week with her family and was able to spend some guilt-free time playing with her kids and just relaxing, while the other, with a few precious days off from her day job, had time to play with her daughter and just “float in the pool.” The latter confessed that she had actually contemplated not coming to her coaching call because she didn’t want to admit to me that she had been “unproductive” this week.

I told them both that they shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what they really wanted to do.  Their worth is not defined by how productive they are being.  Their self-worth should come from knowing that they are unique and special and valuable because of who they ARE, not what they DO.

As a Personal Success Coach, my job is to help my clients get whatever they want in life.  The Big Goal they choose to pursue is up to them – greater prosperity, a fitter body, a loving relationship or a successful business.  Nobody, including me, can tell them what their heartfelt goals should be.  Nor should they put undue pressure on themselves to reach those goals at the expense of having life balance, fun and fulfillment.  If they become so driven to succeed that pursuing their Big Goal feels like a burden, I recommend taking a step back to examine their true motivation.

Many people have a strong “Why” for pursuing a goal, especially a financial goal.  One of my clients wants to succeed at her business so her mother can retire from her job.  Several want their spouses to be able to quit their jobs to pursue their dreams or spend more time with their family.  Some are motivated to financially support a cause they care deeply about. Those are all great reasons for consistently doing the daily activities that will get them closer to their goals with a sense of joy and enthusiasm.

But I have seen some people approach their daily tasks with a joyless, teeth-gritted, “this is hard, but I MUST do it” mindset and energy. I believe they are actually driven by the idea that they must prove their value through their achievements.  Their sense of self-worth depends on outer successes and the approval of others.

One of my clients recently shared a journaling she had done to explore her Limiting Belief that “If I give it my all and fail, my life has been a waste.”  This was her Ego’s internal worst case scenario about what might happen if she didn’t reach the level of success in her business that she wanted.  In the course of her self-exploration, she had the Ah-Ha Moment, as Oprah calls it, that she doesn’t remember her father saying “I love you” very often when she was growing up.  But she does remember him frequently saying, “I am so proud of you.”

Thus, her father’s pride in her accomplishments became her Ego’s path to “earning” the unconditional love she truly craved. She wrote, “I think this has sort of made me think that if I can’t do something that makes a splash, it’s not worth doing and certainly not worth talking about.  So I find myself striving for that over-achiever status.  I feel like anything less is pointless and even something to feel shameful about, so I just don’t talk about it.”

Being human, I am sure each of us feels or has felt at some time that we are not good enough. For some, it’s about their appearance:  “I’m not…young enough, pretty enough, thin enough…” to be worthy of receiving unconditional love and acceptance from those I care about.

For me and others, it’s about our performance: “I didn’t go to the gym.  I didn’t get an A.  I didn’t win the competition.  I didn’t put on the perfect birthday party for my child.”  Therefore, I suck.

The truth is, your inherent value doesn’t increase or decrease with age, beauty, fitness level, accomplishments, job productivity or salary.

As minister Joel Osteen, puts it, “You are the apple of God’s eye” simply because you exist. If you are alive on planet earth, you are enough.  In fact, you are PRICELESS.  Otherwise, you are claiming that only the pretty, thin, A students, celebrities and sports stars are worthy of God’s love, their own self-love and the love of people whose opinion matters. What about the rest of us, then?

I believe there is no swimsuit competition in Heaven – or here on Earth, for that matter. As the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. so eloquently said, we should not be judged by the color of our skin (or any other external factor), but by the content of our character.

So if you long to take a little break from your pursuit of success to just “float in the pool” from time to time, do what your heart calls you to do.  When you are working, give it your 100% BEST…. And when you want to relax and recharge, allow yourself to enjoy and be fully present to it, without guilt or shame.  Schedule time for both work and play and you CAN have it all.

I urge you to make this your daily mantra:I am not my job title or accomplishments.  I am whole, complete and perfect, just as I am. I am the apple of God’s eye and I am ENOUGH.”

IMPORTANT NOTE: The blog will be on vacation for the next two weeks while Rick and I relax and recharge ourselves and visit our wonderful family in beautiful Washington and Oregon.  A Cup of Caroll will return with a brand new post on Sunday, August 19.

If you would like your own F.R.E.E. subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

“Live for something.  Do good, and leave behind you a monument of virtue that the storms of time can never destroy.  Write your name in kindness, love, and mercy on the hearts of thousands you come in contact with year by year, and you will never be forgotten.  Your name and your good deeds will shine as stars in heaven.” – Thomas Chalmers

I was gratified by the positive response to my last blog (A Special Gift – Blog 309).  It seems the story of my friend Bob Perk’s relentless kindness and patience toward a difficult neighbor touched your hearts. Most importantly, many readers told me it made them more resolved to be kind to others they come in contact with daily, too. One said, “I want to be Bob!”

I hadn’t anticipated writing a post-script to that blog, but Bob sent me two.  I’d like to share them both with you, to provide a complete picture of what it takes to be truly committed to being kind.

You will recall that one of the residents of Bob’s new senior living community seemed determined to be cynical and sour toward his attempts to make life happy and cheerful for the other residents.  A typical example of his kindness and thoughtfulness was Bob’s decision to put on a picnic of hot dogs, sodas and sides for any residents who had nowhere to go to celebrate the Fourth of July. Bob generously paid for everything out of his own small income.

Most of his neighbors adore Bob for such acts, but this one woman seemed impervious to his good will, constantly belittling his efforts with cynical and sarcastic remarks. Although he was initially taken aback, Bob wisely made a conscious choice not to take it personally.  Each time they met, he continued to greet her pleasantly (even when she wouldn’t make eye contact or even return his “Hello”) and prayed for her daily.

One day he found himself in the elevator with her and he decided to speak up. He told me he asked her “why she found pleasure in mocking my efforts, yet showed up for the hot dog meal on the Fourth…Before she responded, I said, ‘Because I want you to be my friend.’” 

She was startled by his bold declaration, but Bob observed, “I believe my directness stunned her and my sincerity confused her stone cold spirit.  Even though I broke the wall she has built, she will most likely rebuild it in order to protect her narrow-minded assumptions and not appear at fault.  Still, I have removed a part of the wall with the only tool I know best.  Love.  Love is the answer.”

I made an observation in the blog that if you follow Bob’s shining example and spread kindness to others, most people will show deep gratitude.  But some may appear to resist.  We don’t know what their personal background is or what they have been through in life that has made them think and behave the way they do.

A few days later, Bob sent me this surprising update:

“I happened to look outside and saw C. sitting there by herself.  I opened the door and said hello.  She called me over and we had this incredible conversation.  Very open and friendly.

She then revealed that yesterday she found out that she has cancer…again.  Breast.  One removed years ago.  I carefully, gently placed my hand on her shoulder and told her that ‘I will see you in my prayers.’ 

I asked that if she felt comfortable doing so, I’d like updates.  She said, ‘You’re the only one who offered.’ …..Before I left, she thanked me again and told me I was very kind and caring. 

I see it this way: I just continued to include her rather than reject her.  God knew of her cancer and knows how alienating she was.  [God] asked me to break through so others will be there for her too.”

I wish that was the storybook ending we would all love — That Bob’s relentless kindness and love permanently tore down the walls she had put up between herself and others.  Unfortunately, reality is often a bit less than perfect.

After that wonderful heart-to-heart encounter with his troubled neighbor, Bob went about putting the finishing touches on a fabulous party he was preparing. It was to be held on his birthday, but Bob was not the guest of honor. He was the host and any of the 200 residents in his community were welcome to attend as honored guests.

He spent weeks preparing a lavish menu (including 80 pounds of pulled pork), and lots of yummy sides and deserts, a variety of games for them to play, raffle prizes, and music.  Bob’s music is his passion and a special gift he likes to share with others. He is a professional DJ and singer, so he put on a 45 minute show for them as well.  Arching over the party, he stretched a tent that made the guests feel like they were at the circus.

What an amazing time everyone had!

All except one.

When I emailed Bob and asked how his new friend C. had liked the party, he replied, “ Sadly, she did not attend.  In fact, she told one of my friends that day that ‘He is a liar.  He did not decorate by himself!’ 

Bob continued, “I have now come to believe and accept that the few recent kind words are a rarity….I believe this is a mental challenge she is facing….Still, I don’t feel that my efforts were lost.  A gift from God?  Indeed.  He permitted me to break through and bring out the person she should/could be.  I will continue to pray and treat her with the respect she deserves.” 

I acknowledged Bob for the incredible effort and personal expense he kindly undertook to give his neighbors a fabulous evening. I am sure they will remember it forever.  And I was especially proud of him for his attitude toward C’s retreat back into her bitter little emotional shell.  Instead of getting angry at her, he recognized it as an opportunity for him to grow as a person and to be God’s instrument to show her what’s possible for her life, if she chooses.

So what’s the payoff for being kind and loving to everyone you come in contact with — including the few difficult ones who seem to rebuff your good intentions and even try to punish you for being kind?

I believe the payoff is that, as the Law of Attraction states, “energy attracts like energy.”  Therefore, if you keep on being positive, generous, kind and caring, you will inevitably attract more and more people and circumstances that reflect YOUR positive energy.  Being positive won’t insulate you from all negative people and situations, but it will help you grow into someone who is 100% sure of her own values and consciously embodies them everywhere, with everyone.  If our values and convictions are never tested, how can we know what we are truly committed to?

I am convinced that there are still more chapters to be written in Bob and C’s fascinating friendship saga.  She may act as though she doesn’t believe it, but deep down, she cannot deny that at least one person on this earth truly CARES about her, no matter what.

And that is why when you “write your name in kindness, love and mercy” it will forever bless you, the giver, along with the thousands of hearts who are the recipients.

If you or your friends would like your own F*R*E*E subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.

****************Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E hour of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com today. 

July 8, 2018

“No act of kindness is too small.  The gift of kindness may start as a small ripple that over time can turn into a tidal wave affecting the lives of many.” – Kevin Heath

My friend, DJ, singer and fellow coach, Bob Perks, is one of those special people. You know someone like this too.  They seem to have an innate ability to spot overlooked people who need a little lift and give them just what they need. As a result, they attract many friends and fans who have been touched by their acts of generosity and kindness.

Bob’s innate gift – the gift of kindness – is something we all have the power to cultivate in ourselves.  If we do, we will inevitably have a positive impact on the people around us. Kindness is the #1 antidote to the apparent selfishness and meanness that seem to pervade much of social media, politics, and other elements of society today.  But you can believe this: positive energy is ALWAYS stronger than negative energy. That’s not just “woo woo” mumbo jumbo; it’s physics, folks.  But it’s up to us to USE our own positive energy to counteract any negativity we face.

Because I teach all of my clients how to use the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) to bring them what they want more quickly and easily than hard work by itself can, I am very aware of how positive energy affects us and the people around us.  I have witnessed and personally experienced many, many examples of how making the effort to do one small kindness not only blesses the recipient, but always blesses the giver, too, usually many times over!

After living alone for many years, Bob recently moved into an apartment building for seniors.  He and his four-footed BFF, Phil, have made many friends quickly because Bob is someone who cannot suppress a smile, a cheerful “Hello” or an act of kindness like helping someone carry a heavy bag of groceries.

Recently, though, he emailed me that there is ONE person who seems impervious to his overtures of kindness. I share his words with his kind permission:

“There are approximately 200 people in this building. I haven’t met them all.  I say hello to everyone and stop to listen.  But as they world goes, there will always be one.  This woman insults my efforts.  Mocks and laughs at my intentions.  I have tried avoiding her.  I tried not speaking to her.  Neither of those gives me any pleasure.  My new plan is simply to pray for her.  In what I call ‘Disneyland in my Mind,’ I see one day winning her over.”

The next day was the Fourth of July and Bob, in his typically kind fashion, decided to create a fun event for his neighbors, after discovering that many of them had no place to go and no friends to celebrate with.  Even though his funds are limited, Bob shared with everyone who wanted to attend an all-American picnic of hot dogs, chips, soda and his homemade Mac and Cheese, at no cost to them.

Late that night, he wrote:

“This afternoon I was setting up for my hot dog extravaganza. LOL.  I looked outside and she was sitting there all alone.  I stood there and said, ‘God, I’m not asking you to change her, but please change my attitude toward her.’ 

I was in the middle of the picnic when she walked in.  This is the woman who mocked and ridiculed me and laughed at me.  She would not make eye contact, but helped herself to the food.  I was in charge of the hot dogs.  So, I stepped up and offered her one.  She took it without eye contact, of course.

I sang a few songs and people surrounded me with praise.  Someone asked me about my big show on the 18th and why I was doing it.” [Bob is throwing a much bigger party for his neighbors –complete with games, him singing their favorite music and great food — on his own birthday.]

“I stood where that woman was seated and explained, ‘Everyone here has been so welcoming, I just wanted to say thanks by using the gifts that God has given me.’

One woman said, ‘We all love you and are lucky to have you here.’ The lady would not look up at me.

Later, in the lobby after I cleaned up from the party, she was seated with a friend.  She actually said, ‘I liked that one song you played.  I should have gotten up and danced.’

I smiled and stepped into the elevator and said, ‘Thanks, God.’ 

Mind you, she is such that tomorrow she may go back to her ways. 

But today?  Today she was surrounded by love.”

It would be a storybook happy ending if Bob’s act of kindness toward this woman were instantly rewarded, she came out of her shell and they became fast friends.  But Bob knows that the “Disneyland in your mind” doesn’t always mirror real life. Today, he sent me another update:

“Yesterday, I got in the elevator.  I said, ‘Hello’ and she didn’t.  So I looked right at her and said, ‘Hello’ again.  Without looking at me, she responded. 

Something inside me boldly said, ‘When we get to the lobby may I speak with you?’ She said, ‘Will it cost me anything?’ I responded, ‘Just a few minutes of your time.’

In our conversation, I asked why she found pleasure in mocking my efforts, yet showed up for the hot dog meal on the 4th. I did not speak firmly or down to her.  I asked with a tone of concern.  Before she responded, I said, ‘Because I want you to be my friend.’

Then she looked at me.  I believe my directness stunned her and my sincerity confused her stone cold spirit.  

Turns out it was my background!  All she knew was that I had a radio show at one time.  She saw me listed as a DJ.  Apparently, she doesn’t like DJs….. 

I predict that even though I broke the wall she has built, she will most likely rebuild it in order to protect her narrow-minded assumptions and not appear at fault.  Still, I have removed a part of the wall with the only tool I know best.  

Love.  Love is always the answer.”

That’s how it may go with a few of the people you are kind to.  Most will respond to your positive energy with positive energy.  Some will appear to resist.  You may never know exactly what is going on inside of them – what their background is and what they have been through in life that has made them think and behave the way they do.

But it is my firm belief that if you resolutely continue to live your life according to YOUR values, as Bob does, you will be happy giving kindness and love to all, regardless of their response  — and eventually your kindness WILL be returned to you.  Perhaps it will come back directly from that person because your positivity will finally overcome their negativity, but it’s possible you will never get to see your kindness bear fruit in them.

We can’t control what others choose to say or do to us. But we have 100% control over how we RESPOND.  And how we respond determines who and what gets attracted to us NEXT. The Law of Attraction dictates that you can’t give love and kindness without attracting love and kindness in return.  Trust that your good thoughts, prayers and acts will create a ripple effect that will bless many others and you, as well.

Bob is certainly bathed in love, appreciation and kindness from the vast majority of his neighbors.  And I believe both Bob and I know in our hearts that eventually, “the difficult lady” will have no choice but to join them.

PLEASE NOTE: The blog will take a break next weekend, while I enjoy some fun times with my girlfriends. Hope you are having fun in the sun this summer, too! A Cup of Caroll will return on Sunday July 22.

If you or your friends would like your own F*R*E*E subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.

****************Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E hour of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com today. 

 

 

May 20, 2018

 “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie 

“If the only prayer you said was ‘Thank You,’ that would be enough.” – Meister Eckhart 

Gratitude is the most powerful positive emotion you can express to attract all the wonderful things you desire into your life. Acknowledging and appreciating all the good that is already present in your life sends a clear signal to God/the Universe that you would welcome more. Here is a lightly-edited update of one of my favorite past blogs about gratitude. I hope you enjoy it! 

As you are probably eagerly anticipating, next weekend is Memorial Day in the U.S.A.  It is the unofficial kick-off to summer, but its significance is much greater than that. Originally called Decoration Day, this special day honoring the fallen began in 1868 as a time set aside to commemorate those who died fighting in the Civil War by decorating their graves with flags and flowers.

But I find it equally appropriate to celebrate the day by taking a moment to remember with gratitude ALL those who have gone before you who have contributed to making you who are today:

  • All the strangers, friends and loved ones who served in the armed forces to preserve your precious freedom.
  • Your parents, grandparents and other dear ones who raised you and helped you determine the values you choose to live by.
  • All the mentors and teachers who freely gave of their precious time to guide you along your purposeful path.
  • Everyone who has ever shown you the encouragement and love that nurtured your spirit and helped you grow into your authentic Self.
  • Yes, and even those who disagreed with you honorably or sought to undermine you dishonorably — because they, too, had a hand in strengthening your character and determination to succeed against all odds.

Let us today transform our sadness at the loss of those who contributed so much to our lives into abundant GRATITUDE for all they have contributed to us.  While sadness and regret are negative emotions that attract more pain, gratitude is one of the most powerful positive emotions there is.

Gratitude can help you to make your most heartfelt dreams and ambitious intentions a reality.  If energy attracts like energy,” as the Law of Attraction states, then feeling grateful for all those who have blessed your life with their presence can only attract more good people and resources to bless you.

And because an abundantly prosperous life involves so much more than just money, I want to close with something profoundly simple, yet powerful, that I learned from a wise retired minister, Rev. Margaret Melanie.

These are the Four Spiritual Truths to live by, which can help you create a life that is truly abundant and prosperous in every way. (I loved them so much, I had them made into a plaque for my office.)

  • Breathe deeply. Breathing slowly and deeply nourishes your body with oxygen, makes you more alert to new ideas, and settles you down.  It makes you aware of being in the NOW and living fully in the present moment — which is really the only time that you have available to you.
  • Live Fully. Go out and make a miracle today.  God is busy and needs your help.
  • Kiss slowly. Appreciate all the love in your life – in ALL the forms it may take.  Don’t give your dearest loved ones just a hasty peck on the cheek as you bolt out the door.  Take time to really appreciate them and show them your love.
  • Love wastefully. Don’t hold back.  Spread your love around lavishly, so there isn’t a drop left at the end of your life.  Love can’t be hoarded; it must be spent to be enjoyed!

I hope you enjoy a gratitude-filled Memorial Day next weekend with your special Loved Ones (two-footed and/or four-footed)! The blog and I will be taking the weekend off too!

DON’T FORGET! Summer is right around the corner and it’s almost time for the second annual Prosperity Summer Camp 7-week webinar in June and July.  Watch for the special email about it on Tuesday!  Registration closes on June 2 or when all the limited spots are filled, whichever comes first.  So don’t miss out!  The first 40 Campers to register will be entered in a drawing to win ONE MONTH of free private coaching with me!  Contact me right away and ask for a registration form at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com

 If you or your friends would like your own F*R*E*E* subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.

 *************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* hour of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com today.

May 13, 2018

“Determination, energy and courage appear spontaneously when we care deeply about something.  We take risks that are unimaginable in any other context.” – Margaret J. Wheatley

As the stratospheric box office numbers for the newest Avengers movie will attest, we are a Superhero-obsessed culture these days.  And female Superheroes are becoming just as popular as the male versions. Superheroes like Wonder Woman, Black Widow and Supergirl serve as strong, resourceful and intelligent role models for girls and boys alike.

But I’ll tell you who the REAL female Superheroes in our world are: Moms.

Soccer Moms. Working moms. Moms in boardrooms and Moms in minivans.  Moms who sign the paychecks and Moms who mop the floors and take out the trash.

They are strong, resourceful, visionary and determined because they have a Why that is bigger than themselves.  They care deeply about their families and will do whatever it takes to create a better future for their children. They are fierce, resilient and filled with grit and gusto. They are lady warriors in high heels or sneakers. They are in pursuit of a Greater Purpose and they are after it 24/7.

I am blessed to coach many of these real-life Superheroes.  I marvel at them and do my best to support and nurture them to value themselves and pursue their Big Dreams with belief and passion.

I am in awe as I see them work their day jobs, come home to fix dinner, help with homework and then give up much-needed sleep to spend an hour or two building a business that will provide the future they dream of for their families.  Some of them work from home, which is just as challenging, because everyone around them thinks they have plenty of time on their hands, and routinely call on them to help with the charity bazaar, assist in the classroom, chauffeur the soccer team, help their husbands with THEIR careers….etc. etc. etc. Just like the full-time working moms, stay-at-home Superhero Moms must squeeze in the time to grow their businesses and build their dreams.

Some of my Superhero Mom clients are single parents, with no backup if they or their children get the flu or the car breaks down. It’s all heaped on their slim shoulders.  Do they cry about it?  Nope. They suck it up and JUST DO IT.  Superhero Moms have no time for pity parties.  Stuff needs doing.  Big Dreams need fulfilling.  Either lend them a hand or get out of their way.

Some of them are also in the midst of ugly divorces and custody battles.  I cannot imagine what it is like for them to be a single parent, hold down a job, work on building a part-time business AND have to deal with a jerk whose highest aim is to sabotage them, just for spite.

How do these Superhero Moms respond to such abuse?  They lift their chins, turn away and get back to building a great future for their kids. The opposition makes them even MORE determined to succeed on their own terms.  They are the very definition of “indomitable.”

So what is the Greater Purpose that drives these Superheroes in high heels? Time.  They want more time to spend with their families and to play a big role in their children’s lives as they grow. They are committed to instilling their deepest values in them and proving to them that even their wildest dreams CAN come true — and not just in fairy tales or comic books.

So here’s to ALL the too-often-taken-for-granted, undercover Superhero Moms who walk among us – our wives, mothers, relatives, friends, teachers and colleagues.  Let’s pause this Mother’s Day (and hopefully, EVERY day) to express our admiration and gratitude to them. Let’s treat them like the Superheroes they truly are.   After all, they are saving the future of the World by pursuing their Greater Purpose.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Don’t miss out! It’s almost time for the second-annual Prosperity Summer Camp 7-week webinar in June and July.  Watch for the special email about it this week. Registration is open, so if you want to be one of the lucky 90 participants who are going to learn exactly how to make their Big Dreams a REALITY using the Law of Attraction, email me TODAY for information.  The first 40 who register will be entered to win a free MONTH of private coaching with me as well.  So don’t delay.  Space is limited and going FAST.  Contact me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com TODAY!

If you or your friends would like your own free subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top.

*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

April 15, 2018

“It’s very freeing when you realize you don’t have to fight every battle.  You don’t have to straighten people out.  You don’t have to pay somebody back.  Instead, focus on what matters: Focus on God and His Word so you can live in peace and happiness every day of your life.” – Joel Osteen

Wow! This is my 300th blog post.  When I began writing A Cup of Caroll 10 years ago, I never imagined I would end up writing three blogs a month for 10 years (and counting) with the intention of helping my clients and cherished readers live more fulfilling, successful and prosperous lives.

And, after almost 14 years as a full-time professional coach, I never imagined I would be writing today’s topic because, frankly, I thought I was “cured” by now of the self-punishing practice of judging others.  LOL.

Today, I am 100% clear that, because we are human beings, we are NEVER cured of judging.  Judging is part of our Ego’s critical survival mechanism.  It keeps us safe by trying to size up people and situations and making a split-second decision: “Is this person friend or foe?” “Is this situation good or bad for you?”

Unfortunately, your Ego often gets it wrong because it judges people and situations only externally — according to what it can quickly observe about their outer appearance and behavior.  We all know that “You can’t judge a book by its cover,” yet your Ego just can’t help but try to judge people and situations based on these very limited, superficial clues.

Today, I was blessed to receive what I hope will remain an unforgettable Life Lesson about just how much anxiety, turmoil, frustration and unhappiness we bring upon ourselves and others when we judge them.  It’s not easy to catch ourselves judging, but we can if we know the signs to look for.  From now on, the trigger thought I will notice myself having is “How DARE they?”

That self-righteous, judging rhetorical question always comes to me whenever someone cuts me off in traffic, doesn’t pick up after their dog, allows their front yard to go to seed and spoil the neighborhood’s appearance, doesn’t return my messages, promises to and then forgets to pay their invoice, etc. etc. etc.! “How DARE they not live up to MY standards of proper behavior and right values?” is what my Ego whines inside my head.

Today my Life Lesson came, as many of them do, during my morning stop at Starbucks.  It is often crowded on weekend mornings so, spotting an open table, my wonderful husband Rick and I put our sunglasses down on it to save it and then got in line.  Then I went to get some napkins and returned to “our” table, only to find someone’s big purse and other items sitting on a chair at the same table.  Our glasses were still clearly visible, but the woman who was walking away from the table, dressed in business clothes and talking on her cell phone, had just put her stuff down there anyway.  “How DARE she?!”

I called out to her, waving the glasses in my hand and asking if this was her stuff?  She looked at me and pointed to her cell phone, as if to say, “Can’t you see how busy and important I am? I can’t listen to you and talk on the phone at the same time!”  At least, that’s what my EGO told me she was saying.

I shot her a stern look of annoyance and disapproval and then picked up our glasses and moved to the next table. Rick sat down and began to eat his breakfast, and when I came back with mine, the woman was standing next to our table, saying to him, “Your wife is unhappy with me.  I could see it on her face.” 

Then she crouched down, looked us both in the eye and babbled a steady stream of explanation for her unintentional faux pas of “stealing” our table.  She said she has been a nurse for 30 years and she can read people’s demeanor instantly, which is how HER Ego drew the conclusion from my facial expression that I was “angry” with her.  (I was annoyed and perplexed, but I would not go so far as to say I was angry.)

She said my inexplicable anger had at first upset her and she was tempted to curse me under her breath, but then she noticed my Disney cap and said, “I thought you MUST be a fun person, if you were wearing Mickey Mouse!”  That made us smile and proved that she is someone who knows how to recognize and calm down her own Ego’s “How DARE she?” reactions.

Her voice choked with emotion, she rapidly spilled out more information about her state of mind this morning — that she had recently lost two loved ones, one of whom was 94 years old.  She was talking so fast and with such emotion, it was hard to catch her exact words, but the meaning was clear: She was distraught and distracted.  She apologized for taking our table and said she hadn’t even noticed our glasses on it.  She didn’t know what I was saying to her as she walked toward the counter because she was on the phone and couldn’t hear me.  But she could tell I was upset with her.

I consider it Divine Intervention that she bravely chose to come over and talk to us.  She could have just sat down and pretended to ignore us.  Instead, she chose to be the bigger person and address the issue head on.  She apologized AND did me a huge favor by describing clearly how MY negative energy toward her had made her feel. In truth, my Ego’s judgment that this woman was entitled and uncaring couldn’t have been more wrong!  She is a compassionate, sensitive, and dedicated caregiver who courageously took responsibility when she unintentionally wronged someone.

I felt instant sympathy toward her and instant shame toward myself for making such a harsh (and inaccurate) judgment of her. I was reminded of the iconic story I’m sure you’ve heard about a man who was riding the New York subway and found himself suddenly surrounded by a number of loud, boisterous young children whose father sat slumped in his seat, looking distracted and dejected, and seemingly ignoring their behavior.  The man was annoyed and berated the father for not controlling his children, who were bothering the other riders.  The distracted father looked up and quietly apologized, explaining they had just come from the hospital where his wife passed away.

We never know what is really going on behind the scenes in someone’s life and what is causing them to behave the way they are.  Sometimes their behavior IS patently unacceptable or hurtful and if that is the case, we should speak up about how it impacts us, just as the nurse did when she told me in a forthright but inoffensive manner how my behavior had made her feel.

But most of the time, we should take Joel Osteen’s advice and just LET IT GO.  It’s not our job to school everyone else on how to live according to our own values and standards.  And it certainly does not benefit US to harbor negative feelings about all the ways someone has wronged us and maybe even plot how to pay them back.  Leave the judgment department to God. It’s above our pay grade.

Instead, our job is simply to be the BEST we can be, and to strive each day to live up to our own standards, beliefs and values.  If we “lead from the front” by doing and being our BEST (which includes showing kindness, support and compassion to others), we are setting a good example for our children, loved ones and business colleagues and doing more to help them be happy and successful than any tongue lashing ever could.

Here’s the happy ending of my own story: After breakfast, I was about to walk out of Starbucks, when I noticed the nurse still sitting at the table, writing intently. I went up to the counter and bought a $5 Starbucks gift card that said, “Thank You. The next one’s on me.”

I took it to her table, where she was totally absorbed in writing in her journal, and laid it gently in front of her.  She looked at it and me with surprise and delight and asked my name.  Then she stood up, thanked me by name and asked if she could hug me.  We embraced and when she sat down again, there were tears in both our eyes.  She said, “You made my day.  You have no idea how much this means to me.”

I put my hand on her shoulder, smiled at her and just said, “Ditto.”

****************** Give the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

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March 18, 2018

“Go beyond your own boundaries to your own possibilities.” – Louise Hay

Today’s blog is much shorter than usual.  It’s a simple, straightforward message that my clients need to hear, I need to hear, and I’m sure every one of my readers needs to hear at some point in their lives: Quit worrying about what OTHERS think of you and your Big Goals.

Only two opinions matter – Yours and God’s.  One of those beings created you and put those desires in your heart. (The word “desire” actually means “of the Father” in Latin).  The other one is YOU, the only being who has complete free will to pursue those desires or let them die.

If you want your desires to become your reality, your only option is to “Just Do It” with everything you’ve got.  You must shut out your well-meaning friends’ and family’s opinions about your Big Goals and how you should live YOUR life.  They don’t have to live with the consequences of you dying with your dreams unborn….YOU do. They don’t have to take the risks….YOU do.  They won’t reap the sweet rewards of your success…. YOU will!

Here’s a great perspective from my favorite tele-minister, Joel Osteen. The remarkable success of the mega church he and his wife Victoria lead in Houston has been the focus of some armchair critics who probably have never built anything in their lives.  Yet, thousands and thousands of people flock there every week and millions more watch on television to hear his messages of faith, hope and positivity, urging them to pursue their biggest dreams.

“Beyond Critical Voices

Anytime you set out to do something great in life, there will be critics.  If you’re going to be a great business person, coach, student, leader or employee, there will be opposition.  The more success you have, the more opportunities there will be for distractions. The higher you go, the more haters will come out.  When you start stretching to a new level and pursuing what God has placed in your heart, the jealous people, the critical people, and the small-minded people come out of the woodwork and start making negative comments but you don’t have to let that distract you.

If you are under pressure today, if the critical voices are coming against you, know that it’s because you are making a difference.  Don’t let them throw you off course.  Instead, dig your heels in, set your face like a flint and say, ‘I will not get distracted.  I will not get drawn into battles that don’t matter.  It doesn’t matter what others think; it matters what God thinks!’

Today, look beyond the critics.  Stand strong in adversity.  Press forward to what lies ahead and win the prize of life that He has prepared for you!”

Scale that wall…. Just. Do. It.

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*************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.