September 2, 2018

 “In the end, a person is only known by the impact he or she has on others.” – Jim Stovall

Like many of my readers in the USA, I am spending the long Labor Day weekend getting some personal projects done, relaxing a bit with my family, and lamenting the unofficial end of summer.  That’s why I am playing hooky from writing a new blog this week.  Instead, I am sharing a lightly-edited post from three years ago that remains quite relevant for this time of year.

August 9, 2015

“One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of encouragement.  When someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold you might otherwise never have crossed on your own.”  — John O’Donohue

It’s that time — Back to School Time!  Many of my clients are parents as well as business professionals and entrepreneurs, and they are still adjusting to their kids’ new school schedules and new teachers.

One of the most important things a good teacher does is to encourage students to strive for excellence and to believe in themselves.  Even if you don’t have school-age children, Back to School is a great time to remember that teachers play a vitally important role in all our lives and we are actually ALL teachers. If you are a parent, you teach and encourage your own children their values, manners and sense of self-esteem – among other critical life skills – every day.

Recently, my favorite televised minister, Joel Osteen, talked about the special role fathers play in bringing out the BEST in their children by giving them approval, encouragement and validation.  I loved his message, and I believe it applies to every adult, not just fathers. If you are a parent, teacher, boss, mentor, sponsor, aunt, uncle, older sibling, trusted friend, life or athletic coach, you are an encourager.

Sharing your approval, validation and encouragement with your employees, children, spouse, partner, friends and teammates gives them the courage to step out of their comfort zone to risk and achieve more than they ever thought possible. Even when they fail – especially when they fail – telling them you are proud of them for giving it their all and that you believe in them will give them the courage and belief to try again.

In his sermon, Joel Osteen said, “The people in your lives can’t read your thoughts – you have to speak them.  They need your love, guidance, support and mentorship.  They need you to teach them what you have learned, and to model excellence and integrity….All they need to excel is your blessing, your encouragement.  Give them an extra boost to excel, to rise higher, to go further, to accomplish things they never knew they were capable of.” 

And they, in turn, will duplicate all that with the important people in their lives – their families, friends, colleagues and teammates.  Encouragement, approval and validation are some of the most impactful things you could possibly pass along to the lives you touch on a regular basis.  That’s what professional teachers do for a living and that’s what each of us can do as well.

So here’s a simple but profound encouragement you can give your fellow teachers: Thank them!  If your child has one or more good teachers this year, go out of your way to write those professional encouragers a personal note stating how much your child loves their class and how grateful you are to have them in your child’s life.  You don’t have to wait for Back to School Night!  You can do this the second week of school.

And even if they are not perfect, if you make the effort to acknowledge and validate a teacher for his or her hard work and dedication, guess what?  It will make them want to be an EVEN better teacher and role model for your child.  We all thrive on encouragement and acknowledgement.

If you don’t have a child with a teacher, I urge you write a similar heartfelt “Thank You” note this week to someone who has been a mentor, role model, teacher or encourager in YOUR life.  Tell them how grateful you are for their belief in you and their encouragement.  Tell them the difference they have made in your life and I promise you they will keep that note for the rest of their lives.

IMPORTANT NOTE: The blog will be taking the next two Sundays off to let me spend some precious time with my family, friends and my BFF Lisa, who will be visiting from out of town.  A brand new Cup of Caroll will come to you on Sunday, September 23.  In the meantime, enjoy your Labor Day! 

If you would like your own F.R.E.E. subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.  Your information will never be shared with anyone. 

************* Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

August 26, 2018

“In the end, it all comes down to a matter of choice.  Each of us can choose to be reactive and at the mercy of a world that appears threatening, or we can choose to be open to life and its remarkable possibilities.  We can be defensive and protective, or we can live with a new spring in our step and spirit, eyes that truly see, ears that really hear, and a heart that can feel the wonder and celebrate the magnificent mystery that is life.” – From the book Getting Unstuck: 10 Simple Secrets to Embracing Change and Celebrating Your Life

Like many of you, I have been watching the weather news anxiously this week as Hurricane Lane bore down on the beautiful Hawaiian Islands.  Although there has certainly been some significant damage to cars, homes and roads from high winds and buckets of rain, the force of the storm turned out to be much less than expected. Thankfully, the people living in the Islands have been spared the overwhelming chaos they could have faced.

The weather chaos reminds me of other forms of chaos that a number of my clients, friends and I have faced this week, as well.  Several had children going off to college for the first time, which I now know from experience (thanks to my stepson Matt), can be an anxious and challenging time, both physically and emotionally.  It was also back to school time for younger children, and there’s always a certain amount of chaos and jangled nerves that go with a new school year routine, especially if they are going into a new school. Others had mechanical problems with cars and home remodeling.  I personally had some truly frustrating moments with my email system, which I absolutely depend on to be able to coach my clients.

While it’s easy for your Ego to feel anxious, frustrated, upset and even despairing when faced with different forms of chaos, it’s important for you to not succumb to that negative energy.  If you give in to it, the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) dictates that focusing your energy on negative thoughts and emotions will only attract MORE chaos to you. Whatever thoughts and emotions we focus on gain strength, like a hurricane traveling across the warm waters of an ocean, sucking up more moisture and growing ever bigger and stronger.

Fortunately, you have a choice.  No circumstance or person can make you FEEL any particular way.  You don’t have to suck up negative energy and make yourself feel more negative, upset and frustrated.  You have the free will to CHOOSE exactly how you view and respond to any given situation.  You can be the “eye” of the hurricane, which is calm and peaceful in the midst of the chaos swirling around it.

How can you do that?  Your thoughts create your emotions.  By re-directing your thoughts, you can control your emotional reaction to any situation. If you are upset, frustrated, angry, despairing or panicked, it’s because you have focused your thoughts on the worst case scenario for the outcome of a situation.  You are expecting the WORST to happen.

Instead, you need to consciously direct your mind to expect THE BEST.  You can’t know for sure the ultimate outcome of any situation in advance.  The BEST outcome is just as likely as the WORST.  But your advantage is that you can influence the odds for either the BEST or the WORST outcome by the energy you direct toward one or the other.

Your subconscious mind is always listening to everything you think and say. Like an internal minion, it believes everything you tell it, hook, line and sinker.  So don’t tell it the WORST is going to happen….Tell it the BEST is going to happen!  Talk it into really EXPECTING the best and it will do everything in its power to come up with ideas for you to make the best outcome a reality.

I saw firsthand how a mindset shift influenced the outcome for one of my friends recently.  He emailed me that his car had just had yet ANOTHER mechanical issue, in the same week it had blown two tires and the transmission had gone out of whack. In his Ego’s initial “despair” reaction to this chaos, he fumed, “This is TOO MUCH!  Please pray for me!” Clearly, his Ego was envisioning the worst case scenario: “You can’t handle any more of this chaos. This is hopeless!  Your car is not going to function and you are going to be stuck without transportation!”

I replied that maybe this “bad news” was really a sign that he was supposed to get a new car – something EVEN better.  That got him thinking along a new track.  Instead of seeing himself as the victim of some sort of unfathomable divine punishment, he recognized and took responsibility for each thing that had gone wrong with it. Instead of seeing his car as something to be frustrated with, he realized he really loves his car!

As his thoughts ran in a new, positive direction, his energy began to shift.  He wrote:

“Here’s what I decided.  For now, I am completely focused on my mental health.  I want to be happy and I am….Right now I am at peace, certainly not financially but mentally.  I am liked.  I am loved.  I have the ability to give of myself and for now I need to simply maintain that.  Being here with what I have is OK for now. 

“I am outside looking at my car right now.  It’s 11 years old.  I know it like an old friend.  We’ve been through a lot together.  If someone gave me a new car, I’d have to break it in.  Good friends you hold onto.  I am not limiting myself and my future.  I am basking in the peace of the moment.”

He went from frustration and despair to “basking in the peace of the moment” in the time it took to look at his car and write an email about what it means to him.  THAT is some impressive energy shifting!

Just a little while later, I got a follow-up message:

“WOW!  Not sure if my statement earlier had anything to do with it but after sending the message about my car, I tried one more time to start it.  This time, there was a sound of actually trying to turn over. Then it did.  I discovered the positive cable wasn’t completely connected.  Like life.  We may think we are grounded but we can’t function with only negative.”

As soon as his mindset and energy shifted, his subconscious mind got him to try turning it on one more time and voila — He got a working battery without having to buy a new one!

To calm your thoughts and emotions, here’s a mantra I use myself whenever I can’t see the solution to a chaotic situation or tough problem.  If you prefer, you can substitute The Universe, Inner Wisdom, Infinite Spirit — or whatever description best fits your personal belief system:

“I claim, accept and expect THE BEST.  God is with me, helping me, and I EXPECT great things to happen!”

Repeating this affirmation aloud in the face of chaos will allow your subconscious mind to stay calm and open to receiving the BEST solution, as it is whispered to you by the still, small voice that dwells in the eye of the hurricane.

If you would like your own F.R.E.E. subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.  Your information will never be shared with anyone.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

 

“What this power is, I cannot say.  All I know is that it exists….and it becomes available only when you are in that state of mind in which you know exactly what you want…and are fully determined not to quit until you get it.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Have you ever wanted something so badly you just ached for it — and then you let your fear stop you from getting it?

You hesitated just a few moments before taking the first step toward your Big Goal and then watched helplessly as the “magic moment” that could have catapulted you forward passed. You didn’t cross the room to ask that special someone to dance, you didn’t ask your boss for a raise, you didn’t apply for your dream job, you didn’t take your friend up on the opportunity to join her business, you didn’t sign up for the audition….You never did get your heart’s desire and you have regretted it ever since.

Of course you have done that!  I know because I have done that. Everybody who ever walked this planet has done it. That’s because whenever we have a strong urge to go after something, our Ego’s default mode is to hesitate. We pause before leaping into action just long enough to listen to the little Doubter Voice in our head, which is determined to stop you from taking that action. This is the cause of what we call “self-sabotage.”  We KNOW we really, really want something and we KNOW exactly what we have to do to get it, but we just cannot seem to MAKE ourselves take that first step.

If you want to reach your Big Goals and stop this maddening cycle of self-sabotage, you couldn’t find a better instruction manual than motivational speaker and life coach Mel Robbins’ new book “The 5 Second Rule.”  I have shared her TED talk about the 5 Second Rule with hundreds of people, and many of my coaching clients are reading her book right now because Mel is going to be one of the keynote speakers at their network marketing company’s September convention.

The way she developed her simple but effective tool for circumventing the hesitation urge that stops you from getting your dreams is a compelling story. Years ago, this former attorney’s financial world suddenly collapsed when her husband’s over-extended restaurant business started to fail and her own fledgling media career tanked at the same time. Rapidly, this successful power couple became heavily-in-debt “failures.” Blindsided, she felt numb and hopeless and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t seem to motivate herself to get out of bed each morning to handle her many daunting life challenges.

That posed a serious problem for her family because her children were not getting ready for school on time and were missing the bus day after day.  Her marriage was in jeopardy too. Her husband resented that he was working around the clock to try to save his business while she was sleeping in and avoiding looking for a job that could bring in some much-needed income.

Then one morning when her alarm rang, Mel spontaneously created a simple but very effective tool to push her brain past the paralyzing fear that was making her hit the snooze alarm again and again.  She counted down aloud like the rocket launch she had recently watched on television “Five. Four. Three. Two. One. GO!” When she got to “Go,” she miraculously threw back the covers, stood up and started her day, which led her to starting a new life.

Her book explains in fascinating detail exactly WHY that little fear voice in your head stops you from pursuing your Big Goals. (It is part of your normal, healthy Ego’s defense mechanism to try to keep you “safe” by keeping you on the couch instead of allowing you to make any changes that could possibly turn out to be a physical or emotional “risk.”)  Then she explains exactly how you can use the 5 Second Rule countdown to leverage yourself into taking the first step toward creating a new career, stopping yourself from giving in to your negative urges like smoking, alcohol or overeating, finding your perfect mate, getting a raise, expressing yourself artistically – ANY Big Goal you have in life.

She says, “Are you waiting for someone to ask you, drag you, pick you or catapult you into the spotlight, or are you willing to find the courage to push yourself?  Are you waiting to feel ready?  Waiting for the right time. Waiting to gain confidence.  Waiting to feel like it.  Waiting to feel worthy.  Waiting until you have more experience.

“Sometimes there is no next time, no second chance, or no time out.  Stop waiting.  It’s now or never.  When you wait, you aren’t procrastinating.  You are doing something more dangerous.  You are deliberately convincing yourself ‘now is not the time.’  You are actively working against your dreams.”

Mel’s book is filled with messages from people who have used the 5 Second Rule to overcome their Ego’s self-sabotaging fears and JUST DO IT.  And their results have been phenomenal.

Mel says, “The difference between people who make their dreams come true and those of us who don’t is just one thing: the courage to start and the discipline to keep going.  The Rule is a game-changer because it 5-4-3-2-1 forces you to get out of your head and start and it’ll 5-4-3-2-1 help you keep going…..When you 5-4-3-2-1 push yourself forward you’ll discover the magic in your life and open yourself up to the world, to opportunity, and to possibility.  You might not get the girl, the part, or the response you wanted but that’s not the point.  In the end, you’ll get something way cooler – you’ll discover the power inside of you.”

I invite you to watch (or re-watch) Mel Robbin’s 20 minute TEDx talk from several years ago.  Here’s the You Tube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc

And I very much encourage you to read The 5 Second Rule and USE what it teaches you. The life of your dreams is waiting for you — and the start of it is just FIVE SECONDS away!

If you would like your own F.R.E.E. subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to www.practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.  Your information will never be shared with anyone.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

July 29, 2018

 “Your success depends mainly upon what you think of yourself and whether you believe in yourself.” – William Boetcker

This month is important to many of my clients who are all in the same network marketing company.  July is their “convention qualification” period, where the status and titles they reach by the 31st will determine how they are recognized at their international convention in New Orleans in September.  It’s a big deal, and they are all running hard and giving it their BEST effort to reach their individual goals.

I fully support playing full out for a Big Goal.  If you really, really want something – especially if it has a drop-dead deadline – you need to be willing to work smart every available minute and use every mindset and Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) tool available to help you succeed.  Playing full out demonstrates your commitment to your Big Goal and causes God/The Universe and your own subconscious mind to conspire together to give you a boost with the “How.”

But there’s a hidden danger if you are always running at breakneck speed from one goal to the next.  While reaching important short-term goals can require a full-out sprint for a limited period, achieving long-term success is more like running a marathon.  You have to pace yourself or you risk physical and emotional burnout.  And you must always remember that you are not defined by your achievements.  You are valuable and worthy simply for being the unique and special person you are.

Here is a lightly-edited blog from “convention qualification month” two years ago that reminds us to keep a joyful attitude and take sufficient time to play, spend time with our loved ones, rest and recharge if we are going to win the LONG RACE.

July 17, 2016

I didn’t have to look far for the topic of this week’s blog.  It kept recurring among my clients last week and it is the subject of a collection of articles published by the Unity church entitled You Are Enough.

Two of my clients had their phones die for a time this week.  Both admitted to feeling a secret sense of relief because they could not be held responsible for not working their businesses.  One of them was at the beach for a week with her family and was able to spend some guilt-free time playing with her kids and just relaxing, while the other, with a few precious days off from her day job, had time to play with her daughter and just “float in the pool.” The latter confessed that she had actually contemplated not coming to her coaching call because she didn’t want to admit to me that she had been “unproductive” this week.

I told them both that they shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what they really wanted to do.  Their worth is not defined by how productive they are being.  Their self-worth should come from knowing that they are unique and special and valuable because of who they ARE, not what they DO.

As a Personal Success Coach, my job is to help my clients get whatever they want in life.  The Big Goal they choose to pursue is up to them – greater prosperity, a fitter body, a loving relationship or a successful business.  Nobody, including me, can tell them what their heartfelt goals should be.  Nor should they put undue pressure on themselves to reach those goals at the expense of having life balance, fun and fulfillment.  If they become so driven to succeed that pursuing their Big Goal feels like a burden, I recommend taking a step back to examine their true motivation.

Many people have a strong “Why” for pursuing a goal, especially a financial goal.  One of my clients wants to succeed at her business so her mother can retire from her job.  Several want their spouses to be able to quit their jobs to pursue their dreams or spend more time with their family.  Some are motivated to financially support a cause they care deeply about. Those are all great reasons for consistently doing the daily activities that will get them closer to their goals with a sense of joy and enthusiasm.

But I have seen some people approach their daily tasks with a joyless, teeth-gritted, “this is hard, but I MUST do it” mindset and energy. I believe they are actually driven by the idea that they must prove their value through their achievements.  Their sense of self-worth depends on outer successes and the approval of others.

One of my clients recently shared a journaling she had done to explore her Limiting Belief that “If I give it my all and fail, my life has been a waste.”  This was her Ego’s internal worst case scenario about what might happen if she didn’t reach the level of success in her business that she wanted.  In the course of her self-exploration, she had the Ah-Ha Moment, as Oprah calls it, that she doesn’t remember her father saying “I love you” very often when she was growing up.  But she does remember him frequently saying, “I am so proud of you.”

Thus, her father’s pride in her accomplishments became her Ego’s path to “earning” the unconditional love she truly craved. She wrote, “I think this has sort of made me think that if I can’t do something that makes a splash, it’s not worth doing and certainly not worth talking about.  So I find myself striving for that over-achiever status.  I feel like anything less is pointless and even something to feel shameful about, so I just don’t talk about it.”

Being human, I am sure each of us feels or has felt at some time that we are not good enough. For some, it’s about their appearance:  “I’m not…young enough, pretty enough, thin enough…” to be worthy of receiving unconditional love and acceptance from those I care about.

For me and others, it’s about our performance: “I didn’t go to the gym.  I didn’t get an A.  I didn’t win the competition.  I didn’t put on the perfect birthday party for my child.”  Therefore, I suck.

The truth is, your inherent value doesn’t increase or decrease with age, beauty, fitness level, accomplishments, job productivity or salary.

As minister Joel Osteen, puts it, “You are the apple of God’s eye” simply because you exist. If you are alive on planet earth, you are enough.  In fact, you are PRICELESS.  Otherwise, you are claiming that only the pretty, thin, A students, celebrities and sports stars are worthy of God’s love, their own self-love and the love of people whose opinion matters. What about the rest of us, then?

I believe there is no swimsuit competition in Heaven – or here on Earth, for that matter. As the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. so eloquently said, we should not be judged by the color of our skin (or any other external factor), but by the content of our character.

So if you long to take a little break from your pursuit of success to just “float in the pool” from time to time, do what your heart calls you to do.  When you are working, give it your 100% BEST…. And when you want to relax and recharge, allow yourself to enjoy and be fully present to it, without guilt or shame.  Schedule time for both work and play and you CAN have it all.

I urge you to make this your daily mantra:I am not my job title or accomplishments.  I am whole, complete and perfect, just as I am. I am the apple of God’s eye and I am ENOUGH.”

IMPORTANT NOTE: The blog will be on vacation for the next two weeks while Rick and I relax and recharge ourselves and visit our wonderful family in beautiful Washington and Oregon.  A Cup of Caroll will return with a brand new post on Sunday, August 19.

If you would like your own F.R.E.E. subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.

****************** Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled! ********************

To schedule a no-obligation F*R*E*E* HOUR of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get into ACTION on making them a reality, email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com.

“Live for something.  Do good, and leave behind you a monument of virtue that the storms of time can never destroy.  Write your name in kindness, love, and mercy on the hearts of thousands you come in contact with year by year, and you will never be forgotten.  Your name and your good deeds will shine as stars in heaven.” – Thomas Chalmers

I was gratified by the positive response to my last blog (A Special Gift – Blog 309).  It seems the story of my friend Bob Perk’s relentless kindness and patience toward a difficult neighbor touched your hearts. Most importantly, many readers told me it made them more resolved to be kind to others they come in contact with daily, too. One said, “I want to be Bob!”

I hadn’t anticipated writing a post-script to that blog, but Bob sent me two.  I’d like to share them both with you, to provide a complete picture of what it takes to be truly committed to being kind.

You will recall that one of the residents of Bob’s new senior living community seemed determined to be cynical and sour toward his attempts to make life happy and cheerful for the other residents.  A typical example of his kindness and thoughtfulness was Bob’s decision to put on a picnic of hot dogs, sodas and sides for any residents who had nowhere to go to celebrate the Fourth of July. Bob generously paid for everything out of his own small income.

Most of his neighbors adore Bob for such acts, but this one woman seemed impervious to his good will, constantly belittling his efforts with cynical and sarcastic remarks. Although he was initially taken aback, Bob wisely made a conscious choice not to take it personally.  Each time they met, he continued to greet her pleasantly (even when she wouldn’t make eye contact or even return his “Hello”) and prayed for her daily.

One day he found himself in the elevator with her and he decided to speak up. He told me he asked her “why she found pleasure in mocking my efforts, yet showed up for the hot dog meal on the Fourth…Before she responded, I said, ‘Because I want you to be my friend.’” 

She was startled by his bold declaration, but Bob observed, “I believe my directness stunned her and my sincerity confused her stone cold spirit.  Even though I broke the wall she has built, she will most likely rebuild it in order to protect her narrow-minded assumptions and not appear at fault.  Still, I have removed a part of the wall with the only tool I know best.  Love.  Love is the answer.”

I made an observation in the blog that if you follow Bob’s shining example and spread kindness to others, most people will show deep gratitude.  But some may appear to resist.  We don’t know what their personal background is or what they have been through in life that has made them think and behave the way they do.

A few days later, Bob sent me this surprising update:

“I happened to look outside and saw C. sitting there by herself.  I opened the door and said hello.  She called me over and we had this incredible conversation.  Very open and friendly.

She then revealed that yesterday she found out that she has cancer…again.  Breast.  One removed years ago.  I carefully, gently placed my hand on her shoulder and told her that ‘I will see you in my prayers.’ 

I asked that if she felt comfortable doing so, I’d like updates.  She said, ‘You’re the only one who offered.’ …..Before I left, she thanked me again and told me I was very kind and caring. 

I see it this way: I just continued to include her rather than reject her.  God knew of her cancer and knows how alienating she was.  [God] asked me to break through so others will be there for her too.”

I wish that was the storybook ending we would all love — That Bob’s relentless kindness and love permanently tore down the walls she had put up between herself and others.  Unfortunately, reality is often a bit less than perfect.

After that wonderful heart-to-heart encounter with his troubled neighbor, Bob went about putting the finishing touches on a fabulous party he was preparing. It was to be held on his birthday, but Bob was not the guest of honor. He was the host and any of the 200 residents in his community were welcome to attend as honored guests.

He spent weeks preparing a lavish menu (including 80 pounds of pulled pork), and lots of yummy sides and deserts, a variety of games for them to play, raffle prizes, and music.  Bob’s music is his passion and a special gift he likes to share with others. He is a professional DJ and singer, so he put on a 45 minute show for them as well.  Arching over the party, he stretched a tent that made the guests feel like they were at the circus.

What an amazing time everyone had!

All except one.

When I emailed Bob and asked how his new friend C. had liked the party, he replied, “ Sadly, she did not attend.  In fact, she told one of my friends that day that ‘He is a liar.  He did not decorate by himself!’ 

Bob continued, “I have now come to believe and accept that the few recent kind words are a rarity….I believe this is a mental challenge she is facing….Still, I don’t feel that my efforts were lost.  A gift from God?  Indeed.  He permitted me to break through and bring out the person she should/could be.  I will continue to pray and treat her with the respect she deserves.” 

I acknowledged Bob for the incredible effort and personal expense he kindly undertook to give his neighbors a fabulous evening. I am sure they will remember it forever.  And I was especially proud of him for his attitude toward C’s retreat back into her bitter little emotional shell.  Instead of getting angry at her, he recognized it as an opportunity for him to grow as a person and to be God’s instrument to show her what’s possible for her life, if she chooses.

So what’s the payoff for being kind and loving to everyone you come in contact with — including the few difficult ones who seem to rebuff your good intentions and even try to punish you for being kind?

I believe the payoff is that, as the Law of Attraction states, “energy attracts like energy.”  Therefore, if you keep on being positive, generous, kind and caring, you will inevitably attract more and more people and circumstances that reflect YOUR positive energy.  Being positive won’t insulate you from all negative people and situations, but it will help you grow into someone who is 100% sure of her own values and consciously embodies them everywhere, with everyone.  If our values and convictions are never tested, how can we know what we are truly committed to?

I am convinced that there are still more chapters to be written in Bob and C’s fascinating friendship saga.  She may act as though she doesn’t believe it, but deep down, she cannot deny that at least one person on this earth truly CARES about her, no matter what.

And that is why when you “write your name in kindness, love and mercy” it will forever bless you, the giver, along with the thousands of hearts who are the recipients.

If you or your friends would like your own F*R*E*E subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.

****************Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E hour of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com today. 

July 8, 2018

“No act of kindness is too small.  The gift of kindness may start as a small ripple that over time can turn into a tidal wave affecting the lives of many.” – Kevin Heath

My friend, DJ, singer and fellow coach, Bob Perks, is one of those special people. You know someone like this too.  They seem to have an innate ability to spot overlooked people who need a little lift and give them just what they need. As a result, they attract many friends and fans who have been touched by their acts of generosity and kindness.

Bob’s innate gift – the gift of kindness – is something we all have the power to cultivate in ourselves.  If we do, we will inevitably have a positive impact on the people around us. Kindness is the #1 antidote to the apparent selfishness and meanness that seem to pervade much of social media, politics, and other elements of society today.  But you can believe this: positive energy is ALWAYS stronger than negative energy. That’s not just “woo woo” mumbo jumbo; it’s physics, folks.  But it’s up to us to USE our own positive energy to counteract any negativity we face.

Because I teach all of my clients how to use the Law of Attraction (“energy attracts like energy”) to bring them what they want more quickly and easily than hard work by itself can, I am very aware of how positive energy affects us and the people around us.  I have witnessed and personally experienced many, many examples of how making the effort to do one small kindness not only blesses the recipient, but always blesses the giver, too, usually many times over!

After living alone for many years, Bob recently moved into an apartment building for seniors.  He and his four-footed BFF, Phil, have made many friends quickly because Bob is someone who cannot suppress a smile, a cheerful “Hello” or an act of kindness like helping someone carry a heavy bag of groceries.

Recently, though, he emailed me that there is ONE person who seems impervious to his overtures of kindness. I share his words with his kind permission:

“There are approximately 200 people in this building. I haven’t met them all.  I say hello to everyone and stop to listen.  But as they world goes, there will always be one.  This woman insults my efforts.  Mocks and laughs at my intentions.  I have tried avoiding her.  I tried not speaking to her.  Neither of those gives me any pleasure.  My new plan is simply to pray for her.  In what I call ‘Disneyland in my Mind,’ I see one day winning her over.”

The next day was the Fourth of July and Bob, in his typically kind fashion, decided to create a fun event for his neighbors, after discovering that many of them had no place to go and no friends to celebrate with.  Even though his funds are limited, Bob shared with everyone who wanted to attend an all-American picnic of hot dogs, chips, soda and his homemade Mac and Cheese, at no cost to them.

Late that night, he wrote:

“This afternoon I was setting up for my hot dog extravaganza. LOL.  I looked outside and she was sitting there all alone.  I stood there and said, ‘God, I’m not asking you to change her, but please change my attitude toward her.’ 

I was in the middle of the picnic when she walked in.  This is the woman who mocked and ridiculed me and laughed at me.  She would not make eye contact, but helped herself to the food.  I was in charge of the hot dogs.  So, I stepped up and offered her one.  She took it without eye contact, of course.

I sang a few songs and people surrounded me with praise.  Someone asked me about my big show on the 18th and why I was doing it.” [Bob is throwing a much bigger party for his neighbors –complete with games, him singing their favorite music and great food — on his own birthday.]

“I stood where that woman was seated and explained, ‘Everyone here has been so welcoming, I just wanted to say thanks by using the gifts that God has given me.’

One woman said, ‘We all love you and are lucky to have you here.’ The lady would not look up at me.

Later, in the lobby after I cleaned up from the party, she was seated with a friend.  She actually said, ‘I liked that one song you played.  I should have gotten up and danced.’

I smiled and stepped into the elevator and said, ‘Thanks, God.’ 

Mind you, she is such that tomorrow she may go back to her ways. 

But today?  Today she was surrounded by love.”

It would be a storybook happy ending if Bob’s act of kindness toward this woman were instantly rewarded, she came out of her shell and they became fast friends.  But Bob knows that the “Disneyland in your mind” doesn’t always mirror real life. Today, he sent me another update:

“Yesterday, I got in the elevator.  I said, ‘Hello’ and she didn’t.  So I looked right at her and said, ‘Hello’ again.  Without looking at me, she responded. 

Something inside me boldly said, ‘When we get to the lobby may I speak with you?’ She said, ‘Will it cost me anything?’ I responded, ‘Just a few minutes of your time.’

In our conversation, I asked why she found pleasure in mocking my efforts, yet showed up for the hot dog meal on the 4th. I did not speak firmly or down to her.  I asked with a tone of concern.  Before she responded, I said, ‘Because I want you to be my friend.’

Then she looked at me.  I believe my directness stunned her and my sincerity confused her stone cold spirit.  

Turns out it was my background!  All she knew was that I had a radio show at one time.  She saw me listed as a DJ.  Apparently, she doesn’t like DJs….. 

I predict that even though I broke the wall she has built, she will most likely rebuild it in order to protect her narrow-minded assumptions and not appear at fault.  Still, I have removed a part of the wall with the only tool I know best.  

Love.  Love is always the answer.”

That’s how it may go with a few of the people you are kind to.  Most will respond to your positive energy with positive energy.  Some will appear to resist.  You may never know exactly what is going on inside of them – what their background is and what they have been through in life that has made them think and behave the way they do.

But it is my firm belief that if you resolutely continue to live your life according to YOUR values, as Bob does, you will be happy giving kindness and love to all, regardless of their response  — and eventually your kindness WILL be returned to you.  Perhaps it will come back directly from that person because your positivity will finally overcome their negativity, but it’s possible you will never get to see your kindness bear fruit in them.

We can’t control what others choose to say or do to us. But we have 100% control over how we RESPOND.  And how we respond determines who and what gets attracted to us NEXT. The Law of Attraction dictates that you can’t give love and kindness without attracting love and kindness in return.  Trust that your good thoughts, prayers and acts will create a ripple effect that will bless many others and you, as well.

Bob is certainly bathed in love, appreciation and kindness from the vast majority of his neighbors.  And I believe both Bob and I know in our hearts that eventually, “the difficult lady” will have no choice but to join them.

PLEASE NOTE: The blog will take a break next weekend, while I enjoy some fun times with my girlfriends. Hope you are having fun in the sun this summer, too! A Cup of Caroll will return on Sunday July 22.

If you or your friends would like your own F*R*E*E subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.

****************Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E hour of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com today. 

 

 

July 1, 2018

 “Acknowledging the good you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” – Eckhart Tolle

 This Wednesday, of course, is the Fourth of July — the day Americans set aside to celebrate the priceless gift of freedom that our forefathers bestowed on us, both in our sovereignty as a nation and in the precious personal freedoms we enjoy. As we pause to show our patriotism, we should also show our gratitude to the men and women who serve and sacrifice to help keep us free.

 I hope this lightly-edited blog from nine Independence Days ago will encourage you to never take our country, our freedoms, our protectors or each other for granted.

 July 4, 2009

 If you live in the USA, I hope you will be celebrating this most American of holidays in a delightful way that fills both your heart and your stomach. But no matter where you live, I hope that you will join me in pausing for just a moment to reflect on what freedom means to you and your own individual quest to live a life of unlimited prosperity.

To me, being FREE means, first and foremost, that I have complete choice in how to live my life.  How it goes is truly up to ME. I am 100% responsible for my own success and happiness, because I am free to co-create it with God/the Universe, as I choose.

This is very much in keeping with the Law of Attraction that states, “energy attracts like energy.”  This means that the thoughts you hold – coupled with the emotions that result from holding those thoughts in your mind — create the energetic vibration that you are sending out into the world every second of your life.

Your own energetic vibration will inevitably attract to you the people, things and circumstances that exactly match your vibration – just as a magnet attracts a nail.  Thus, whatever thoughts you consistently focus your attention on will eventually show up in your world in physical form – for good or for not-so-good.  You have the complete freedom to control your own thoughts, so YOU are truly the “magnet” for whomever and whatever shows up in your life.

Gratitude, as I am fond of reminding you, is THE most powerful emotion for creating a positive energetic vibration that will attract more good things to you.  When we are grateful for everything we already have, MORE of the same is attracted to us.  But when we focus on what is lacking in our life, what shows up is more LACK.

In that spirit, I’d like to acknowledge here and now my profound gratitude for the many personal freedoms that I have been blessed with.  In particular, I am deeply grateful to the patriots of every gender, color, sexual orientation and ethnic origin who have given their all to ensure that I will continue to enjoy these precious freedoms throughout my life.  Here are just a tiny fraction of the many personal freedoms for which I am grateful, and which I am fully aware are still NOT available to so many of my brothers and sisters across the globe:

  • The freedom to choose my friends
  • The freedom to choose my mate
  • The freedom to marry or not
  • The freedom to choose how many children to have (or none at all)
  • The freedom to choose my political party affiliation (or none at all)
  • The freedom to vote (or not)
  • The freedom to read the books and see the plays, movies and television shows I choose
  • The freedom to express my life purpose by following the path that fulfills me
  • The freedom to choose military service or to serve my country in other ways
  • The freedom to go to the church of my choice (or no church at all)
  • The freedom to travel throughout my country and to many other lands
  • The freedom to live where I wish
  • The freedom to express my opinion, as long as it does not harm another
  • The freedom to dress according to my own tastes
  • The freedom to spend my money as I wish
  • The freedom to choose my career and the people I want to work with
  • The freedom to determine my income – according to my personal beliefs about what I “deserve” and the value I bring to the world
  • The freedom to celebrate Independence Day just as I please.

So, what’s on your Personal Freedoms gratitude list?  I hope you will record in your own Daily Gratitude Journal the personal freedoms that mean the most to YOU and to express sincere gratitude to your Higher Power, your country and your fellow citizens who defend your right to enjoy them each and every day.

The freedom to prosper is your birthright as a human being, but it’s up to YOU to claim it, appreciate it, and live it to the fullest.

If you or your friends would like your own F*R*E*E subscription to receive this blog three Sundays a month, just go to http://practicalprosperitycoach.com and click on the Prosperity Tips button at the top to enter your name and email.

 ****************Give Yourself the Gift of Dreams Fulfilled******************

To schedule a no-obligation, F*R*E*E hour of phone coaching that will help you clarify your Big Goals and get you into ACTION to make them a reality, please email me at caroll@practicalprosperitycoach.com today.